jonny661
They had a recent rant about this on the fan fic rants community on LJ.
I have to admit, what galls me the most the canon names. Each time I read "Zambini" I want to throttle the author.
It has been said many times, but...
I completely agree with everything you said.
And, if I didn't, then I probably wouldn't say it, because your insults scare me.
In a funny way.
You are the original Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing.
Only if you want to be.
I'm going to spell check this now.
Author's Response: Hee! I never think of myself as scary, but if I have to be, at least I'm also funny, right? Thanks for the chuckle.
"If we were interested in reading breathless descriptions of clothing, we would be reading catalogs."
AY DIOS SANTOS!!!
so true
Well, even though this was slightly harsh, I am glad you posted this essay. It gave me more information and help towards fan fiction ( like what MS was). So thanks.
I love your rant! Almost everything you've mentioned here are things that have turned me off from trying to find decent fics from other archives like fanfiction.net. Thank you so much!
Thank you god! Someone has actually pointed out the "Mal-ferret." Whenever I read this I actually feel like ripping my eyes out I hate it. It’s not big, it’s definitely not funny! I mean for god sake it doesn’t even make sense! Also the rape issue really grates on me, from having personal experience with rape I know for a fact that its painful, damaging and the effects can last a life time, as you said you would not be giggling and laughing with the person that raped you. don’t get me wrong some rape fic’s can work. very few actually do but some writers manage to carry if off. What I am fed up of is reading stories in which Draco rapes Ginny and then afterwards feels so bad that he begs Ginny for forgiveness. Telling her that the only reason he viciously raped her was because he loves her after hearing this Ginny forgives him and they end up living happy ever after bringing up the child. Please we all know that this would never happen!
I’m sorry for ranting away like this but I’m so glad I’m not the only one who gets stressed with these things. Thank you and keep up the good work.
This fic is my new bible! Every word you speak is truth, but I have to admit there is one thing I disagree with. In my oh-so-humble opinion, I don't really think that OOC-ness is really a fault. Of course, everyone has different tastes, but I generally think that as long as an author has acknowledged that they're doing it, then it's not really problem. Other than that...like I said, pure gospel.
And this is why I love this site.
I don't even read at FF.net anymore because it takes to long to wade through the 'eye-bleeders' to find something worthwhile.
I agree wholeheartedly with what you've said here. The only thing that truly caught my attention was the cutting/suicidal remarks. I do feel that, while someone shouldn't write a fic about a suicidal ginny just because they want it as a plot point, sometimes it's used to express what they really feel when they have no other outlet. That was my case. I was suicidal a couple of years back, and I was at the time starting writing HP fics, so I added that into Ginny's character in the beginning. I'll still bring things from that back, but it's not the major focus because events are changing things, bigger events are happening. Being suicidal doesn't mean that you're never happy. Being suicidal can mean you bounce back and forth between moods, as I did, largely because of changing events in my life. Now, granted, I don't like fics that have a suicidal Ginny who suddenly becomes little miss sunshine within five seconds of a "saviour" and the fic is all about how wonderful her "saviour" is, however I do feel that there is some validity to happiness or feelings of contentment after a period of suicidal thoughts, because I know what I went through myself. I don't disagree with you entirely, I just thought it was important that you understood the other side to what goes on inside the head of someone who is or has been depressed.
~Lyss
hey.. I was just reading your essay and I was wondering what OOC was when your talking about it.. can you possibly explain? You can just add a note or email me at eivins_katie14@hotmail.com if you like.. Thank You
oh thank you, i have to comment a lot on this because what some authors do is truly irritating. When they make Hogwarts american and try adding american slang into the story, ugh i clench my teeth and scream. Also the Mary Sues are maddening, honestly there is no one who has is so perfect, perfect body, perfect grades, perfect social status, perfect life, truly terrible. i swear the whole characterization, where harry becomes a total jerk and wants to rape ginny is AWEFUL, it makes me want to puke everytime. Plus I also hate how people make rape sould so trivial and just a little thing to make the plot "more interesting"(which it's not). I've known people who were raped, and it's NOT FUNNY or ROMANTIC at all. I think it definitely should be treated seriously, so the victims of rape won't have to read the fics and believe that others have this romantic idea of rape or are just so apathetic towards it. Absolutely pisses me off that some authors believe that some one who are raped would ever engage in fun and laughter right after rape.
Arrrrrgh! THANK YOU! The Americanising of HP fanfiction is incredibly annoying. Especially the whole got/gotten. In England it is ALWAYS 'got' people, even in past tense! That is just correct grammar.
Thank you so much for expressing my exact feelings. The things that you have written about annoy me SO much.
Looking Blaise up in the Lexicon, he is a "tall black boy with high cheekbones and long, slanting eyes." Ergo, no longer can Blaise be made into a girl, unless it's specifically AU. I just wanted to tell you. Maybe you should add that into the rules or something.
Really good essay. I agree with all of it. Especially with the American thing. ARGH! It just kills me! And your responce to that Harry/Ginny shipper a few reviews ago just made my day! Go little troll go! *snort*
This is a great essay. I completely agree with everything, esspecially the Americanisation thing. Since I seem to be the only non-American that uses the Internet, I'll tell you all, its so, so, so annoying. A subtle form of Mary Sueing the universe, just like putting religion in there. It may suprise you, but America is not involved in everything. Sorry. Someone had to tell you (though I am being a bit of a hypocrite in saying this as I have done it too, a drunk Australian manages to turn up in my fics here and there).
Do you think that people like the Harry-Ginny troll on the first page realise how intelligent people laugh at them? Unlikely. I don't care if there was no diplomacy in your response, it made me laugh.
Anyway, it was a great essay, love your work Mynet.
Hallelujah!!!! It's just too bad that most of the writers who do this crap are in denial, so they won't change. That thought depresses me because everything you mentioned just completely ruins the hotness of this paring.
When I read your comment about "Mal-ferret" I seriously burst out laughing. I can't tell you how many times I've actually cringed at the use of Mal-ferret. I don't get how it's funny or witty... because besides the fact that ferret starts with an f, it doesn't sound anything like "foy". I agreed with basically everything you said, although I'm not half as anal as you are. I do enjoy reading about Mary Sues sometimes (but I guess that's because I'm only 18 and I still believe that there's always a happy ending and in all that silver lining stuff). By the way, I was wondering, is there a draco/ginny archive where stories are screened?? Because with college apps & APs to prepare for, I don't have time to sift through all the crap that's out there today. & to "harry&ginny 4 eva!!!", i think most of us realize that draco/ginny won't happen in cannon. but that's why we write fan fiction, duh... it's not like we expect JKR to come read our stories for ideas. & ignorant is an adjective, not a noun. kthxbye.
Thank God someone wrote this. I heartily agree with the majority of your points. I'll submit one slight disagreement and one addition to your list. I don't mind AU all that much. If the story is 'serious', then by all means they should have a decent explanation for the AU-ness. However, I've read some uproariously funny AU humor fics and for those sort of things I don't require all the hows and whys. My own pet peeve is with non-British writers that try to 'Brit-up' their story by using the word arse in every other sentence. I'm an American and I'll admit to using British slang in my stories. I try to make sure that I am A) using the word or phrase correctly and B) not using the slang gratuitously. Nothing screams "Not a Brit!" like a story about a arsey arsehole from Arseingshire.
Thank you very much for your points. It's very important to note, and I am very glad that you attached a link to the Mary-Sue litmus test. That will make my life much easier. I would also like to applaud you. You handle trolls so very well. I read the first page of reviews, in which there were two trolls (probability of them being written by the same person is very high in my mind) and I was almost in tears because of laughter. I was very amused by your choice of words and your sarcastic edge. Thank you for making my day all the brighter.
i cant believe you guys, dammit!!!! you are so fuckin stupid that i cant even find the words to describe your lack of intelligence. you just keep on writing about draco and ginny, maybe it will happen one day!!!!!!!! i may be a fucking ignorant but at least i'm realistic you pathetic losers! i think you are the ones who should get a life! i'm not the one who writes hundreds of ridiculous essays about fiction characters which are not ever gonna happen! keep dreamin you guys!!!!!!! just know that YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: And yet, we seem to be intelligent enough to know the difference between "nine" and "hundreds". Funny how the world works, isn't it?
Seriously, take your medications, cut back on the caffeine, sit down for a minute, and pay attention. This involves a small amount of reading comprehension, but you being so clever and all, I'm sure you're capable of it. Ready?
This is a site for Draco and Ginny fics. Whether or not it happens in canon - and most of us don't believe that it will - we happen to like it. If this makes us stupid, deluded, or pathetic losers, that's fine; we're happy that way.
Since you seem to be quite unhappy though, given that you have nothing better to do than be a troll, might I suggest you consider proving how wrong we are by writing the best damn Harry/Ginny fic ever? If you need references for where to post them, I'm sure I can find them for you, as I have several friends who ship Ginny with Harry. Granted, it'd mean you'd have to learn how to properly use capitalization and punctuation, use a spellcheck, and expand your vocabulary and descriptive powers, but it seems like you have a lot of time on your hands, so I'm sure you can do it, if you just try hard enough and believe! Yes! You can! Go, little troll, go!
I really enjoyed your essay! There are so many times when I read a d/g essay and I just want to cringe because there are so many things wrong with it. My biggest pet peeve would have to be when authors insert their own comments into the text. What's the point of the story by then? I feel kinda bad saying this, but I did notice a slight error in your essay. While "hanged" is a proper past tense for the verb hang, it only refers to the capital punishment form. As in, Benedict Arnold was hanged for his treasonous crime. (I don't know if he were, but there's a sentence anyway.) But hung is also a past tense form of hang, used to refer to objects that are hung out to dry, or something else. So if any D/G character is murdered, hanged is probably correct. Otherwise, they hung their coaks on the hooks. And of course, Draco could be well hung, but that's another story entirely.
you guys suck!!! what you write is bullshit! cant you see that draco and ginny will never happen????? dont you read the real books??????? if you still believe they will get together in the end, go write a book on your own. this is the stupidest i've ever heard about harry potter. go fuck urself
Author's Response: Bravo! You've just managed to humiliate every single Harry/Ginny shipper in the world just by associating yourself with them. Please, spare the good people in your fandom the humiliation and shut up until you can at least write a flame that isn't laughable.
Also, if this is the best use of your time, can I suggest that perhaps you might consider taking up a hobby? Maybe you can go outside sometime and explore the concept of "fresh air"? Judging from the way you wrote this, I think perhaps you might be suffering from a lack of oxygen to the brain.
Let me first say that I read your essay and I loved it. I think you made some points that alot of people needed to hear, authors and readers alike. However, I wanted to ask you a question and I felt that this amazing Draco/Ginny essay would be as good as any to ask at. Okay, I have a fan fiction story that I post on two other sites, that have a Draco/Ginny pairing, but not a whole lot of it (which would explain why I have not posted it here), but there have been a few people that have pointed out to me that they are cousins and that paring is "just sick"! This annoys be to no ends, becasue I love that pair. So my question to you is, have you ever come across that as an issue to some readers? Is it even a reasonable statement as far as fan fiction is concerened? Also, we know from OoTP that all wizard famlies are somehow relateted, including the Malfoys and the Weasleys. So, how exactly are Draco and Ginny related? I think is goes something like this: Mr. Weasley is the second cousin to Serius, once removed. And Serius is second cousins to Draco. So would that make him and Ginny fourth cousins? Thats really not enough to count as even as being related in the Wizard World, is it? I know this really doesn't have alot to do with the content of you essay. However, I think that it does go along with the theme of your essay, which seem to be the do's and don't of a Draco/Ginny story. So, please forgive me for asking here, but I knew that you would be the best person to answer my question and I wasn't sure where else to ask. I was just wondering how important the cousin issue really is when reading and writting fan fiction.
Author's Response: The idea that a relationship between Draco and Ginny would be in any way incestuous is patently ridiculous. First of all, there is little to no risk of congenital defects with cousins marrying, regardless of the old wives' tale, and in any case laws regarding cousins marrying only applies to first cousins. We know Narcissa does not have a fourth sibling, and so unless Lucius is the brother of either Arthur or Molly, it just isn't applicable.
As for what, if any, direct relationship there is between Draco and Ginny (other than true and destined love ;) ), the book doesn't specify. It seems pretty clear, though, that it'd be fairly distant - along the lines of the shared ancestors of Princess Di and Prince Charles, who are 16th cousins once removed, or were before she died.