Name: dracos_angel reviewed
Draco on May 30, 2006 09:47 am
Interesting story so far. I can't wait to see more.
Author's Response: Thanks.
Name: Nice reviewed
Draco on May 30, 2006 09:42 am
i'm enjoying the story so far. i mean not much has really happened just the groundwork being laid but i can tell it's gonna be worth reading.
Author's Response: God, you made me panic now...I'll try not to disappoint anyone, and I really hope I don't balls up the rest of the fic!!! LOL. Thanks for reviewing.
Name: Aunt Annie reviewed
Draco on May 30, 2006 06:55 am
I usually wait until there are two chapters to read, it helps me decide whether to read or not. I really like your fic. I know you are still setting things up, but you write well, it hasnt got alot of slang, and is written in an adult manner. Keep up the good work I will look forward to updates
Author's Response: Thanx!
Name: fallenwitch reviewed
How it begins... on May 28, 2006 04:05 pm
A fine start. I am especially enamored of this bit of foreshadowing about Harry, "She didn’t mind that he ignored her right now- she would wish later on, when he wanted to be with her, that he would have kept on ignoring her." I laughed but I don't suspect it will all that funny when it comes to fruition.
Author's Response: Lol! I think it's funny that you laughed!
No, you're right, it probably won't be funny! I feel sorry for any Harry- lovers reading this, 'cause, unfortunately, I'm not going to be portraying him in the best light! Oh well...
Thanx for your review. X
Name: Kisou reviewed
How it begins... on May 25, 2006 01:49 pm
You're a decent writer, but you need some originality. And the real problem isn't even the actual fic, this could end up very interesting, but the summary almost made me not want to read this even though I basically read everything that goes through here. People don't need to know beforehand that your plot is pretty much cliché, so don't tell them.
I'd also say you could make this very much more your own if you didn't use the some of the less quality clichés. For example, Draco bumped into Ginny and noticed that she had "turned into a very attractive woman". It sounds a little bit too much like a summer makeover. You would do better to base the relationship, especially the beginnings of it on things that are less physical and sexual, because a relationship based on those things never lasts in real life and if it lasts in your fic you've just very effectively recreated your fairy tale fantasies.
Keep working, though. Don't constantly worry about how original your work is; just take note of it occasionally. I always say that many things are only cliché because they're good. Simply make sure you only keep the good clichés that are good and that work for you. Otherwise they feel awkward and obnoxious.
Don't get discouraged. You have some real writing talent. And the people on this site, and on most, aren't out to get you. We want to help you reach your best potential. But some of us (especially me) will be very blatant to accomplish that purpose
Author's Response: I appreciate you taking the time to review, and especially being honest. I do agree with you about that line that I had Draco say (I'm cringing as I type, thinking about it.) You'll be glad to hear I've removed it. I've also changed the the summary- it was really late when I submitted it, and my brain doesn't function enough for me to be bothered when I'm really tired. It was really lazy of me, I'll admit.
However I really don't worry about my fic being cliche at all. I really like reading cliched fics by other writers, and I think I just wanted to give people a realistic view of this one.
Oh well, it's hopefully amended.
Name: Serenitey reviewed
How it begins... on May 25, 2006 02:58 am
very well written. i like your portrayal of draco and that harry just announced that he and ginny were together without consulting her. some of your formatting is a bit off thou. there needs to be (in my opinion) a few more spaces in some places. its a tad cramped, especially when u have dialogue. it made it a little difficult for me to read but overall a great start. update soon. accolades *salutes*
Author's Response: Hey thanx for your review. Many apologies for the sucky formatting...I really didn't realise how it looked. (Am ashamed!)
I have fixed it though, so hopefully reading subsequent chapters won't be so much of a chore for anyone. lol. Thanx again, hope you like the rest of the story.