Oh sniffle, sniffle. What a sad story, but really wonderful written ff.
The song fits perfectly for it.
Anyway awesome work as always. :D
Author's Response: Hey Frust-sheep! Fancy meeting YOU here! Lol. Thanks for reviewing and favoriting. =)
So I've been left a bit breathless after that. Maybe it's just because it's so late, but that REALLY affected me. I mean, it sort of hurts, rowan. Inside. =(
What can I say? I thought this was beautifully written. I always like to say that opening and closing lines are most important; a strong beginning to hook you in, and a sharp ending to take your breath away is what authors should aim for, and it's exactly what you did here. The opening line of this was, quite honestly, beautiful. The description drew me in, and the dark revelation that came shortly after kept me there. I swear my breath actually caught on the line, "Could it be that he was losing her already? The part of her that he’d sworn to himself would always remain locked away somewhere inside of him, secretly?"
And then the ending. Oh, the ending. Noble and cruel at the same time, and Ginny will only ever know after its too late, so neither of them will get a happy ending. That hurts, it really does. But it's the most beautifully romantic sort of hurt I could imagine. Sacrifice, love, and pain -- the perfect ingredients for a tragedy.
Even when Draco is being noble, as he is here, I very much liked the fact that he very much retained his 'Draco' essence; he's done the noble thing, but he hasn't had any epiphany about what else he's doing -- no change of heart, no sudden desire to change everything, he is still Draco, even while saving Ginny, he is still the same prejudiced and cruel boy, shown equally in the way he saves her.
Now, I've mused on beginnings and ends, but lets chat middles, shall we?
This was a good one.
Ahem. Anyway. More specific. In terms of exposition, detail and description, I don't think this could have been at all improved. We see the story fan out and bloom before us, getting snatches of the story through memory and musing, which was a wonderful way to do it.
Now, a question. Perhaps I wasn't dilligent enough in reading, but the first time Draco turns Ginny away -- is it for the same noble reason as the end, or is it because, in his broken psyche, he really doesn't know how to love properly, and just pushes Ginny away, even though he doesn't mean to? (That's initially how I read it, before I got to the whole 'war' part.)
In closing, I thought this was beautiful, painful, tragic and wonderful. I very much enjoyed reading it, even if it did hurt.
My dear Lizz, I can't tell you how happy you've made me with this lovely, lovely review. It's such a pleasure to get detailed feedback from an insightful reader, and that is exactly what you are. I love how easily you grasped the nuances of the fic and Draco's character - a prejudiced and cruel boy, you called him, and he is. One who is very much in love. Yes, this has the sacrifice, the love and the pain, you're quite right. Some of us are taught that love means sacrifice, and to Draco he IS sacrificing himself, in the only way he possibly can because a betrayal of his family is not an option for him.
"We see the story fan out and bloom before us"... look at you, you have such a way with words! That's lovely. See why I want you to write D/G?
Anyway. In answer to your question, if you perceived at all that Draco was incapable of loving at any point in the fic, it is a shortcoming in the narrative and not in Draco's character. Because he is in love with her, he will protect her however he can, even from her own love of him, which will ultimately be a danger to her. At least, that's what he believes. And the reason for that is that he will never switch sides while his family doesn't, and Lucius won't at this point. It might sound too logical written down like this, but when I was in Draco's head as I writing this it made complete sense to both of us. I think people make hard decisions in real life based on this terribly logic. As you pointed out, Ginny will never know unti after it's too late; in essence, and though it might not seem that way, this is a fic about bad timing.
In closing on my end, you said reading this caused a bit of hurt. When I set out to write this, I was aiming for something that could easily fit in canon and the aftermath of the final chapter of DH. Something they could both remember during their brief meeting on the platform of 9 and 3/4. That spells hurt for any D/G lover. :(
I am very happy that you found this beautiful and that you enjoyed it. Again, thank you for your lovely words of praise.
Wow, just wow.
I've been reading a lot of D/G fanfics the past couple of days and this is the one that I couldn't stop thinking about. I haven't reviewed plaything yet but I guess I owe you one :)
In general, I love the setting, I think the Christmas theme works for the story and I like the visual with the snowy landscape.
I absolutely fell in love with your character portraits, especially Draco; he is so vulnerable in this story. I could feel his hurt. And yes, I cried a little.
I love how Draco tries to tell himself that she’s with Harry now and that she deserves to be happy with him. And how he tries to anger himself with her supposed betrayal, to steel himself from the pain he knows he must inflict again on them both.
Ginny is a little bit to insecure in comparison to how I normally envision her. But it fits the story. Hell, I probably wouldn’t be able to ever leave my bed if someone treated me like that so it still shows she has a brave and strong personality because she tries to continue her life. And she is smart and true to herself and the feelings she has for Draco and the feelings she knows, deep down, he has for her, because she figures it all out. I felt for her when she had finally put it all together, only to be broken by him once more.
Specific parts that I loved:
-The fear Draco feels when he realizes he hadn’t thought about her since he woke up
It’s a great introduction to the theme of the story
-‘Her shoulders were often hunched, and she would wrap her arms around herself, as if she were broken- and he knew she was. He had broken her himself.’
So this reminded me a little bit of Twilight, but I don’t care because you have used it so much better than Stephenie Meyer did! I especially love the last sentence.
-‘the liquid pain in her beautiful amber eyes’
-‘burning in his eyes and in his heart.’’
-How he hasn’t been able to call her by her name.
This made him more human to me, it made his pain more real.
- She is still able to love and accept him, after all he’s done to her.
Ginny is great and sweet and she deservers so much more. (Not that there’s anything out there that beats Draco (fu cking) Malfoy, she just deserves to be happy with him I guess)
-‘He’d never felt so betrayed in his entire life.
“Draco…” she said softly, but was immediately silenced as his lips crashed down on hers.’
The nerve he has to feel betrayed! But still, its one of those little sentences I always glance over to fast. To eager to read the whole story because I HAVE to know how it’ll end I usually end up missing these small gems. It is a great characterization of Draco.
Immediately followed by the moment we’ve all been hoping for. The Kiss.
-‘Now his lips curved into a smirk, even as his heart broke a little more, even as he struggled to memorize her face, to memorize the exact shade of red of her hair, and the way it contrasted against the paleness of her skin.’
I love this part, how he consciously prints this image of her in his mind. And the part about his heart, breaking a little more, is beautiful.
-“Mmm…” he purred softly, biting his lips as his eyes bore into hers. “Very nice- but not as sweet as I remember.”
I couldn’t believe this even though I knew it had to be coming. I guess my heart just broke a little when I red this.
-‘She’s Potter’s now, he told himself desperately. And it’s better that way. He’ll make her happy, and he’ll keep her safe. Long after…long after I’m gone…’
I love that he has to tell himself little lies to be able to continue.
So… All in all. I loved it! It’s perfect! You’re great and I wish I was half the writer you are:)
Oh wow, I can't believe that I missed this gem of a review. I'm only just reading it now, so I apologize for the delay in responding. Reviews like these are few and far between, and I think that they're one of the great rewards of sharing your writing with others.
I want to thank you for taking the time to write such a lovely and comprehensive critique. I loved and agreed with your analysis of specific things, and I'm glad that what I was trying to say came through. I'm also - selfishly - happy whenever I hear that one of my stories made someone cry a tear or two, because it means that the real emotional connection with the characters that I always aim for actually occurred.
Again, thank you for telling me how much you enjoyed this story. I think you made my day, my week, my entire month.
This. Is. Totally awesome!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! ^_^
"Now his lips curved into a smirk, even as his heart broke a little more, even as he struggled to memorize her face..."
This damn near broke my heart to read, but as all of us Draco-groupies know, Draco can mask his emotions like the best of them. :(
WARNING: If Il Dragone (my favorite fic of the year so far, btw!) ending is his depressing, I'm going to sic my army of pink fluff bunnies on you!
Beautifully done! :)
Thanks so much! ^_^
I know, this story is very sad! I can never make it through that song without crying, and I listened to it the whole time while I was writing this.
Don't worry! Il Dragone is the exception to the Rowan Rule. NO ANGST!
Ohmigod! The angst - it burns!
That was either painfully beautiful, or beautifully painful. I don't know which. You had me almost in tears, woman! Tears! And I'll have you know my canon involves D/G snogging in dark corridors while JKR focuses on the "Golden Trio". It helps my peace of mind. ;)
This is SO like Draco; your characterization of him is spot on. And I LOVE Draco with long hair. b29;!
As cruel as he is, I have to wonder what would have happened if Ginny'd been a little less insecure. :
DO NOT READ "Cruel"!
I fear our new-found conection through love of D/G may quickly perish if you do! See, the thing is, this actually not my angstiest fic- not by a long shot- and he's not particularly mean to her here, comparatively speaking...>_<
Like I said, it's my attempt at writing something that more or less conforms to canon, and my version of it kind of fits yours. :D
Thanks for the lovely feedback! ^_^
Lovely story, I enjoed it! Silly epilogue, it should have been pink haired children boarding the train.
LOL, totally agree with you! :D
Thanks for reviewing! ^_^
Wow! I was reading this while listening to Jon McLaughlin's So Close. With the song creating a sad atmosphere, and the beautifully written fic, I cried at the ending... T___T
I cried the whole time while I was writing it too! It's a very sad fic. :(
Thanks for your lovely compliment. ^_^
lol god damn you!! you and your depressing stories!! stop making me cry!!!
the world inverted had better be pretty friggin uplifting!!!
It's this one-shot muse! >_<
My one-shots are always horrible in that sense! And yes, the World Inverted WILL be pretty frigging uplifting! LOL.
Thanks for reviewing! ^_^
very sad. love draco's inner struggle
I'm glad that you could empathize with Draco a bit. It IS pretty sad, and I blame JKR. u_u
Thanks for reviewing!
Girl! You got me all teary. and I NEVER go teary while reading facfiction ( the actual books, yes, but never fanfiction). Cruel was, well, cruel (devastating, actually) but this...this was just so sad (too sad)! It had a certain amount of softness in it that makes it endearing. WHY did you turn such a soft and sweet prompt into something so heartbreaking? And HOW did you manage to make me love it despite it being so sad? And... Where are the updates for those "other two" stories you've kept waiting? *obvious hints*:P
You are, as I have said before, one of the most brilliant writers. You know what, start writing something original. I would love to read something that's completely yours.
Luv ya! Keep writing!
*GUSHES* GAH!!! What a lovely review!!! *dances around*
Thanks so much! What wonderful compliments!
And I know exactly what you mean about never getting teary with fanfiction! I'm the same way, for some reason, it's so easy to get me sniffly, but fanfiction doesn't really do it for me, so it's a big compliment to hear. I confess I DID cry when I was writing this one...it's the song that was my muse, "Black", by Pearl Jam-- it's so heartbreaking and beautiful, it was easy to get inspired into twisting the lighthearted prompt into something bittersweet- with emphasis on BITTER. Mwahahah! ;p
The "other two" will be updated soon, hopefully! ^_~
Thanks so much for the wonderful review! :D
I agree, I think it's much sadder when they go on with their lives, crossing paths occasionally but no longer parts of each other. Maybe because it's more like real life? Lol. One of the fics that I love that plays with that concept is "Interlude" by Mourning Broken Angel--have you read it? Lastly, I have to say that for me, too, the one-shot seems to lend itself to really dark stories. I don't know how so many people manage to write good, fluffy one-shots, but I'm glad they do!
Imelda, I definitely know what you mean about the real life-ness of losing each other and then crossing paths ocassionally. It's less romantic than being separated by a tragic, untimely death, but at the same time it's more heartbreaking, in a sense. I have not read "Interlude", but I've heard of the author; her name keeps coming up in the D/G communities I hang out at. I will check it out. Thanks for the rec!
As for the gooey one-shots, I have one that's sweet and fluffy as cotton candy. ;p I tried to upload it here but it didn't meet length requirements (it was 100 words shorter than the accepted length, and when I tried to add more, it kind of lost its charm...
Still that's my ONE instance of a non-angsty short story. LOL. ^_^
that was amazing! I loved every little bit of it!
Author's Response: Wow, thanks! I'm glad that you enjoyed it! You should definitely listen to the song! You would like it! ^_^
heart wrenching and beautifully written
Author's Response: Thank you! ^_^ I'm glad you liked it, thanks for reviewing.
hi, wonderful, yet sad...
Author's Response: Hi dristi! Yeah, it's a pretty sad fic, like the song that inspired it! I'm glad you liked it though. Thanks for reviewing! ^_^
Wonderful as always rowan! It was so hopelessly bittersweet that I loved every word! I agree with you... they were secretly in love... ; )
Yes! *high fives you*
Of course they were! ^_~
I'm glad you liked it!
I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE BACK.
Okay sorry for the caps, but it was necessary. I've missed you and your writing style!
As for the piece, it was great, lots of conflicting emotions for the reader. Well done! There was a piece of me that was as disappointed as Ginny was. Brava!
THANK YOU! It's good to know you're missed! ^_^
I'm glad that you liked this angsty one-shot- (for some reason most of my one-shots turn out like that! *looks innocent*) BUT, know that I am working on updating Il Dragone and The World Inverted, after a month long hiatus, or perhaps more...>_<
Thanks for reading! =D
Okay, so I feel physically sick. It's because of the painful way in which Draco broke up with Ginny and then broke down for a moment to kiss her, to memorize her expression before he shattered her only tether that kept her grounded.
The "distinct impression that someone was jamming a broomstick into his chest" is something that I felt. It's amazing that you can write something that can make the readers feel so strongly for the characters.
The characterisation is spot on. Even if I was hoping, deep down, that Draco would tell Ginny the truth, the fact that he didn't was very true to character. Him trying to convince himself She’s Potter’s now. And it’s better that way. is so heartfelt.
By the way, I thought I'd also mention the little things that I really liked with this story, that just pulled the whole thing together. The fact that Draco suddenly stops and is horrified that he is almost forgetting Ginny; the description his eyes hardening until he was certain they resembled steel- it was a look he’d seen in his father’s eyes many times, a look he saw every day in the mirror.; that he acknowledged that Ginny would try to find a reason for Draco's cruelty, [t]he knowledge was comforting, but it was also a curse. I don't know why, but that line stood out to me. It sums up the torment of knowing that she truly loves him, but that he cannot allow that to continue.
This will be added to my favourites, for sure. I hope you keep up with the amazing writing.
Shaded, do you realize writers sit around waiting for the kind of review that you just gave me? ^_^
Seriously, it's wonderful to hear that my writing made such an impression on you that could actually empathize with the characters physically, and I LOVE hearing the parts that readers liked best of the story! Also, you totally GOT IT. You understood where Draco was coming from, and you didn't let him fool you-- even if he succeeded in fooling himself briefly with that whole "Potter sent her" bit.
Thank you for your wonderful compliments, for the favorites add and for taking the time to write this awesome review! You have totally made my day with that! ^_^
Beautifully bittersweet. Thank you.
Thank YOU. ^_^
And "bittersweet" is a word I hear a lot in my reviews! I think I have a penchant for the thing. :D
Nooo! Too cruel. Oh, man. I like that you worked it into canon, though, and I thought it was really well-written. It was also very believable--Draco's behavior and his angst, as well as Ginny's reactions. Plausible and in-character. Well done!
Thank you! Yes, my one-shot muse tends to be cruel, for some reason! I did want to work it into canon, because the whole thing was inspired by listening to that song "Black" and thinking of D and G in the epilogue of DH ("you know you're obsessed when..." LOL). I thought it was more heartbreaking if they actually both survived the war and went on to have families with other people, and then saw each other socially, in a totally casual way. Very cruel! :(
Anyway, I'm glad you thought the characterizations were well done! Thank you for reviewing! ^_^
really excellent! Nice work. Your writing really captures the emotions - truly great!
Wow, that is a great compliment! Thank you! ^_^