Well done. This almost gives me hope that she cares for him more than I thought. Of course, we still only really know how he feels. I loved the commands to himself to remember everything. And his restraint was surprising at first, but then I thought it is just another example of how much he loves her, even if he can't risk saying it. Again, I love how you write his emotions for her, and his love is more real than I think she understands. Looking forward to the next part!
Author's Response: Ha! You've still got a really low opinion of Ginny, don't you? I've got this notion that deep down, Draco's more romantic than she is. And I know his restraint seemed uncharacteristic, especially given all the "take, take" of the last chapter, but for him it really was about making reparations for last time, erasing her past bad experience and proving things can be good with him...or, as you so succinctly put it, showing how much he loves her. And speaking of scenes turning out alternately, two previous drafts of this chapter ended up in fights. It turns out that if Ginny snaps back at him AT ALL while he's embarrassed about his performance, he goes straight into jerk mode as a defence and she eventually calls him a stupid git and storms out of the room. Which would have been fine, really (who doesn't like make-up scenes?), except that it didn't suit my purposes.
The last few chapters have been so fascinating! What a deep, deep mystery Ginny is. She's such a morally ambiguous character, for one thing. She confesses to Draco that she truly tried to kill him in order to resurrect Tom Riddle, basically, but she felt really, really bad about it, and he just... *can't*... hate her, or even keep up his anger at her, and somehow, we, the readers, can't manage it either. Then she's on the side of good. Sort of. And he can't resist her. He absolutely can't, and in this chapter, we really see why. Ginny is an irresistible force of nature, and for her to welcome him, to desire him, to offer him a chance to make up for the way she devalued him eariler is just too much for him to resist. But I can still see this ending badly. I don't know if that even makes sense, but I coud still see her hurting Draco very very very badly. And yet, it's believable that she truly cares about him. If Ginny hurt Draco in the end, it would be because of who she is, irrevocably, inescapably. Anyway... fascinating fic!! Looking forward to more.
And, oh yeah... smut will never ever EVEREVEREVER make me squeamish. :) Although for some odd reason, I never feel like I can have my cat half-sleeping on the computer while I read it. It's just one of those weird things...
Author's Response: I don't know about readers not being able to hate Ginny...have you read some of the other reviews? ;) You seem to have more faith in her than most (despite your classification of her as "good. Sort of", which tickles me to no end). His perception of her from last year is still very pervasive despite everything else that's happened, and for him it really is a re-do of everything that went wrong before. Heck, it was a do-over for both of them, complicated by their new understanding of each other and their more equal footing. I'm noticing that lots of people are picking up an undercurrent of doom here. Smut may never make you squeamish but I find it SO HARD to write; this scene was, like, my third ever if you count that brief scene earlier in this story. Practice makes perfect? Anyways, your cat's welcome to sit on your lap next chapter.
Ooooh. I have a confession: smut makes me squeamish. So don't mind me if I start getting a bit, er, prudish on you. ^_~
I found this chapter quite touching. Their relationship is really driven out of need, but I think there is something there. I like the fact Ginny isn't being too pushy, but is respecting that there actually is little he can do. Being 'noble' isn't always the answer. Also like the fact he can respect her decisions. I hope nothing happens to either of them.
Author's Response: Well, there's no use shielding your eyes from here on out; this chapter is as racy as the story gets! It's a strange little stalemate they're at, and you're right, being noble can't get anything accomplished in this situation. On the offchance that you missed part of this chapter, on a conceptual level it was about Draco making up for how bad their last time together was for her and feeling grateful for the opportunity to do so.
Wow. The relationship remains incredibly complex, even as they appear to be acting like a semi-normal couple. Good job keeping the tension/angst in the brief time where it seems their differences can more or less be reconciled (I have a strong suspicion this won't be the case for long). I love the raw tone and realness of your writing and characters. Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Even my fluff is angsty for these two, the poor kids. You're right, nothing's simple for them, and you suspicions regarding the tenability of the situation are probably well-founded. Semi-normal - I love it! I really appreciate your comments on my tone. It's something I think/worry about a lot.
Oh what a terrible thing she has done! I fear for him so much. He loves her so and yet I do think it is wishful thinking on his part that she feels anything close to love for him. Finally, she showed a little bit of compassion and accepted that he could not choose her over his parents, but I don't trust her. To think that she was ready to kill him for Tom. He is completely justified in all hs nasty thoughts about her. I understand what it means to love someone in spite of who they are, and you do such a great job showing that it him.On another note, I did get your message and I responded. In case you didn't get it, thanks for your encouragement.
Author's Response: "love someone in spite of who they are"...why is it that everyone else is better at summing up my work than I am? So many powerful statements you've made here. You've picked up on how vulnerable Draco still is, even though he's got so much more power now than he did at the start of the story. I see that people really don't have much sympathy for Ginny! I guess I'm not surprised than no one trusts her, though, given all of the stunts she's pulled.
Well, wasn't this a rollercoaster chapter. There were times where I really wanted to slap Ginny, but then she made up for it in the end (I hope). She's more shifty than I think we give her credit for. I can't believe she was going to kill Draco. Well, try, anyway. And while I would normally wonder at Draco forgiving her that easily, I think the way you have written them (and their relationship) does make it make sense.
Very curious to know what will happen next.
Author's Response: In the end, he just wants what he wants and bother everything else - a rather unsatisfying conclusion after all of his speculation, but there it is. The dysfunction in the chapter is strong; if you feel it makes some sort of sense then I'm happy. Ginny's misplaced guilt gave her a lot of nasty things to say on top of her terrible confession so yeah, I'm not surprised that you wanted to slap her.
Beautiful as usual.
Author's Response: Thank you! The story softens up a bit at this point (we can't just fight forever, can we?).
OH, geez! Ginny needs to learn some tact! What a way to blow someone's ego. Does she even know that Draco cared for her and depended on her that much? And now she's pretty much admitted it really could have been anyone and she would have done the same. But I wonder if she would have gone to such degrees? I mean, you'd hardly want to shag Crabbe because Tom might be living inside there . . .
Ramblings aside, this was a fantastic chapter! I think I'm finally beginning to understand Ginny, which is nice. I do feel a bit sorry for her, but I feel worse for Draco. That's definitely a lot to take in.
One thing I do appreciate is that you have Ginny some real, emotional reactiosn to that time when Tom possessed her. A lot of people do the 'oh, yeah, this happened and it sucked, I was scared' blah blah thing. But this shows more than that. This shows the twisted feeling of longing and hate. Tom was her best friend; I think it's inevitable she would miss him in her own way.
I really liked this line: "And is it really such a foreign notion to Gryffindors that you can still care for someone who betrayed you?" -- It says a lot about Draco's life, but also about how sheltered/secure Ginny's was. If Tom had never entered her life through that diary, she would be just like the others, having no comprehension of what it means to be betrayed by someone you love and yet still love that person.
Anyway, I really loved this chapter and look forward to reading what happens next. I'm almost a bit worried at how Draco is going to react.
Author's Response: Crabbe? *twitch* I'm thinking it would be much harder to psych oneself up for that task, yes. Ha, tact. They're so thoroughly sick of each other's BS at this point that the gloves are coming off (in an entirely related note, you are quite right to worry about Draco's reaction). I'm so glad to hear that the payoff's been worthwhile so far and that Ginny makes a bit more sense! I was sure that her possession would crop up again in canon but it never did. We tend to focus on the terrible things Riddle did to her and not the connection that made it possible - completely understandable considering Ginny's ultimate reaction (a single snide comment in OoTP).
Loving the quick, quality updates. More more more! (Please. I forget my manners it's so good!;P)
Author's Response: Haha, I'm glad! But don't get it in your head that I'm a speedy writer; these quick updates are a parlour trick.
Another great chapter!
Author's Response: And the scene's only half over at this point! Thanks.
This is perhaps my favorite chapter to date. We see so much of Draco's conflicting desires here-- he wants to understand Ginny, he wants to punish her, he just plain wants her, and it's impossible even for him to say at this point what will win out. He has potential power over her right now, and a darker part of him relishes it a little bit, I think.
But he's also afraid for her, and after the most recent incident, he probably should be. (The absolute nadir for DH!Harry had to be when he laughed after hearing how Ginny was punished "cruelly" for helping to steal the sword from Snape's office.) Let's just say that it'll be fascinating to see where Draco and Ginny go from here...
Author's Response: Gah, you just sum things up so well! I've got nothing intelligent to add. Here's hoping the upcoming stuff lives up to expectations *crosses fingers* Oh, turns out I do have something to add: I always figured that Harry's laughing there was relief that she got thrown in the briar patch, so to speak. But yeah, he didn't seem to give a care to how much danger she'd put herself in. Even if he was ignorant of the fact that the Cruciatus was an A-OK punishment at the time, being caught by a Snape with no Dumbledore to rein him in is a horror unto itself.
Can't wait for more!
Author's Response: More's on the way! And FYI I tried to write you back re: Safe House but your PMs were disabled. Don't be shocked if I send you a wall of text via FIA in the future.
I'm really enjoying this fic! I love this side of Draco. And wow, I'm intrigued about Ginny. That sex scene was very interesting.
Author's Response: *giggle* "Interesting"...I'm pleased at how unsexy that scene turned out, actually. Does that make me insane? Oh well. I think we both enjoy seeing Draco having raw and needy moments. I'm glad you're enjoying it!
I love this chapter! I think it is my favourite so far. You really do have a wonderful way of writing Draco, and you're making me increasingly curious about what the heck Ginny is really up to. Just what did she and the others try to do by breaking into Snape's office?
I'm also really, really appreciating that Pansy has a backbone and is not some airheaded twit. You can tell that this girl is intelligent and knows how she should behave to save her skin. I like the fact they have a truly Slytherin relationship going on. They're not close friends, not by a long shot, but she wants to help in her small way, even if only to tell him to stay clear of Ginny (which I actually think is advice he should probably listen to. That Ginny is a sneaky one).
Look forward to the next chapter. ^_^
Author's Response: DA members breaking into Snape's office during DH? What could they possibly want? ;) I admit that I usually write Pansy much brattier than she appears here, but she's never completely vapid. Draco was likely with her for over a year (at least GoF Yule Ball to HBP school year start) - why would he be caught dead in her presence if she had no redeeming characteristics? Some people pull the arranged marriage card but you don't have to pretend to like someone you're contracted to marry. I love how you show me new facets of my own writing. I didn't purposely set out to make Draco and Pansy's relationship a Slytherin archetype, I was mostly working the "ex trying her damndest not to care but doesn't want everything to implode" angle.
Well, Draco will get his chance to hear more, won't he? I think he's right-- he's the only one who can understand a bit of what she's gone through, and that's a lot of what creates the appeal of putting these two characters together in the first place. Harry will never understand what happened to Ginny-- it is spelled out in canon in several "Voldy didn't actually possess your pure, spotless mind even though he used you as a Horcrux" infodump variations. Also, I think that he deliberately chose not to understand her.
But Draco could, because we *know* that he lived with Voldy in the same house for over a year. Still, he doesn't know the truth about how dissociative she is-- yet. Highly dissociative people do have seemingly inexplicable character changes from moment to moment, so yes, that is believable as something that Ginny would do, but it certainly wouldn't make any sense to Draco. We'll have to see how it all plays out...
Author's Response: Harry's got that kneejerk hatred of corruption, even when it's quite neutral relating to him - rejecting Scrimgeour and being annoyed at Cho for not hating Marietta after the DA's demise are two examples that come to mind. (And then there's DDD Harry, who takes the corruption hatred to a whole new level!) "Chose not to understand her", indeed - her possession is an unsavoury bit that he maybe wouldn't be able to tolerate if he thought too hard about it. But enough about him. Yes, D/G is so compelling in dramatic storylines because they're capable of facing down the darkness in each other. We'll see how this Draco fares when his time comes.
Draco is fascinating here, isn't he? There's a little of bit of real cruelty in him, I think, but then, there would be. He does not understand why Ginny has acted the way that she has. Part of this is because he does know that they've ended up on different sides, and part of it, of course, is that he doesn't know what's actually going on in her head. I wonder what woud happen if he truly started to understand more of this.
Author's Response: I've tried my best to resist whitewashing him; he's the boy who stomped on Harry's face and sent Buckbeak to the slaughter over hurt pride. He can be selfish and cruel, and Ginny's incomprehensible behaviour brings that out in him. But he's got good qualities too, once his needs are being met....
Okay, I have to say I really love how abrupt the conversation between Pansy and Draco is at the beginning. Which might sound weird, but it seems very fitting for their relationship. I also get the sense from just that small scene that all of the Slytherin children are, in a way, playing an act. Pansy has to take delight in cursing Neville because that's what's expected. The others have to 'whoop' with humour because who really wants to be the person who is 'weak' and shows sympathy. They're all terrified, though of course you would have your Rogers (if you've read Lord of the Flies, you'd know what I mean).
I find it fascinating the way the tables have completely turned for Draco and Ginny. Before, he was the one always unable to keep himself together, to stay calm. And while he is still struggling with his own things, you can see that he is dealing with this much better than Ginny.
I'm glad they were able to come to some sort of truce, though I really am finding it difficult to understand Ginny. She's quite 'switchy'. I mean, she was really, really angry at Draco, enough to cast friendfyre at him, and now she's just going to give in that easily and talk? I'm sure she has her reasons, but it just makes her a difficult character to get my head around.
Author's Response: Ah, bullying. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, but these kids don't have absolute power - even the Slytherins are subject to the capriciousness of the Carrows' regime, and I'm sure that Snape doesn't look like a bastion of stability at this point. Then there's that whole feedforward loop where relief that you aren't the bullied one causes you to positively reinforce the bully's behaviour. The role reversal is one of my favourite things about this story. A superficially supportive administration and no insane expectations have done much to calm Draco down. Like you pointed out, Ginny's having a hard time dealing with things, making her look even more inconsistent than she already is (part of her weirdness in this chap was her trying to misdirect Draco). From a purely strategic standpoint, it's in her best interests to meet with him - he still has that element of blackmail working in his favour.
Ooooo! Please update soon! Did Ginny and Harry plan the whole thing together? And wow I love Draco in this his characterization is spot on!
Author's Response: Something rotten was definitely afoot last year. And thank you for your comments on Draco - I tried to start from a canon!Draco and although he's been changed somewhat from this bizarre association with Ginny, I've been hoping he hasn't strayed too far afield from his core self. More coming soon!
//Blind obedience had given him a sort of peace and numbed his anxieties, and five minutes in this room had torn his fragile calm to shreds.//
I really loved this line. Simply beautiful.
This was an interesting chapter. I'm enjoying seeing the way the characters are developing, but I admit that Ginny is still eluding me, and I think that may be intentional on your part. I do wonder what she is playing it, trying to act like the 'hurt' one when she and Draco both know she just stormed out of that room and almost killed him. I think Ginny has quite a bit of explaining to do.
Author's Response: *blush* Thank you! I don't typically consider myself to be a quotable writer. Yes, Ginny has been inscrutable on purpose and I know that makes her seem inconsistent, to say the least (you've been very patient). Why should Draco always get to be the mysterious one? ;) She is pretty self-righteous here, all things considered. She has loads of explaining to do, pages and pages of it.
This is so beautiful, you are a fantastic writer! Please please please continue, as I am a bit confused and must know what happens next!!
Author's Response: Don't worry, you're only confused because Draco's confused! We're headed back to Hogwarts next chapter. Thanks for reviewing!
Well, personally, *I* think I know how this chapter makes sense.... ;) Something about Ginny has been more than a little bit off all along. We've seen her actions from Draco's POV, and he's been so desperate for comfort, for someone to hold him and need him and love him, that he didn't see (or want to see) any of the warning signs. Then, too, it would have been a bit much to expect a sixteen-year-old boy to turn down sex from a girl he's fallen in love with, even though I think that deep down, he had to know something was really not-quite-right by then. At some level, I think he knew all along that Ginny was more broken than he was himself, but he couldn't resist her and what she had to offer him. And then, too, he blames himself, and he doesn't know or understand about Tom Riddle.
This fic has a lot more subtlety than it seems to at first, but I'll admit that it may be hard for readers to see if they aren't as familiar with people on the dissociative spectrum as I am. But then, that's what canon was all about, and probably the one thing that really made me angry about the way it all ended wasn't the lost opportunities for D/G, but the way that Ginny's CLEAR dissociative disorder was ignored. This fic doesn't do that, and I'm very glad to see it.... so, looking forward to more soon! :)
Author's Response: Something off about Ginny? What kind of wild allegation is that? *slips you a Chocolate Frog under the table* Closed third-person perspective: it's a helluva drug. I'm kind of in love with the way you laid out your case here. :D I never took Psych 101 and only have the foggiest idea what the day-to-day effects of dissociative disorder are (ie DDD is my textbook and you know I'm a solid C student when it comes to that), so I can't make any intelligent remark about whether it's addressed here. It's probably too early for a definitive opinion, but I will bow to your professional assessment when all is said and done!
A good second chapter! I can really see this as a believable explanation for what actually happened between Pansy and Draco-- we clearly never got an explanation of their breakup in canon. He stopped sharing anything about his inner life with her, and she finally refused to keep tolerating it. I like that you don't make her a villain-- I actually have kind of a soft spot for Pansy. :)
I'm not sure if Draco actually cares about Ginny yet, or if he's using her because all of his unbearable emotions have to go somewhere (similar to what we saw with Myrtle.) But that's believable too. I think that Draco would ultimately have taken comfort where it was offered (or, well, he wouldn't have ended up taking it from a not-very-sympathetically-written ghost.) But what exactly is Ginny getting out of this? I think it kind of remains to be seen.
Author's Response: I think either Pansy dumped Draco for being unavailable during HBP or he dumped her after the Battle of Hogwarts when he was declared Not Evil and she was the worst kind of villain and a liability when it came to rehabilitating his image. Given how much JKR hates Pansy, I'm guessing the latter, but I also have a soft spot for Pansy. If Draco does care about Ginny at this point, it's the same care he'd have for a new broom or an invisibility cloak of his own.
I have to admit, I have my reservations about this chapter. You skipped a lot in the development of their relationship, and that did make me feel it was a bit too rushed.
Nitpicking aside, I do wonder why Ginny went crazy while having sex with Draco. Was it something Tom did? And what did she mean by Harry? There is definitely something going on here, and I really, really want to know what.
I liked the fact that this time it wasn't her hair he saw burning, but real fire. But damn, that stuff is dangerous. Ginny must have been very upset.
And now I see we are up to you 'real' story. HBP is done and dusted, and I do wonder what you have in store for us. I wait with bated breath for your next update.
Author's Response: Yes, I skipped forward here for a couple of reasons, the most obvious being that there really wasn't much development to speak of until this scene, just Draco saying "blah blah wizard emergency blah" and Ginny patting him on the head and giving him more potions - been there, seen that. I'd hoped the beginning of the chapter would give off a "more of the same" vibe but I guess it wasn't particularly effective juxtaposed against the, uh, abrupt change in their relationship. :/ On the other hand, if you're saying, "What? But the sex came out of nowhere," then I heartily agree with you! And Draco's right with you wanting to get to the bottom of what the heck just happened. At least you know who Tom Riddle is! The hair-fire connection was part of the original story concept. Actually, fun fact, the original story idea ended on that cheap narrative trick with the Fiendfyre. I prefer the new and improved version.
Amazingly well-written, this is! I truly and honestly can't wait to read more, so please keep writing and update soon! =)
Ciao for now,
•Lele
Author's Response: Well, I just submitted the next chapter - how's *that* for soon? :P Thanks for the reviews, and I hope you like what's coming up!
Very captivating story, and I'm loving it so far. On to the next chapter for me ;)