Disclaimer: Sadly enough, I do not own Harry Potter… the characters and the storyline etc. belong to J.K. Shame, she could’ve at least let me borrow Draco, lol.

Summary: At first it was simple Draco+Ginny AKA Malfoy+Weasley = enemies. During a fight, a baby comes between them. Literally. They are told to watch the baby (as punishment). Do things change? You bet.



Baby, Oh Baby
I: Karma



Ginny’s P.O.V.


As I was walking down the hallway with Colin Creevey, I sighed. From the look on Ron’s face, he must think Colin and I are dating. How dare he? Thinking he can butt into my love life (or lack thereof). I don’t say anything about him and Lavender.

Lucky for me, they walked right past us. Hopefully that glare he sent at Colin won’t do much damage to our friendship. Actually, I think it was lucky for Colin… Ron didn’t break anything.

Do bad things always come after good things? Or tragedies in threes? If what just happened was good for ME, I wonder what will happen now.

…

Merlin. I’ve been sitting in Divination for way TOO long. Those fumes in that room of hers must be toxic; I think they’re making my brain go to mush.

Beside me, I heard Colin gasp. “Ginny, look-“ Poor guy. Didn’t even get to finish his sentence.

Now, picture this in slow motion: I bring my head up, only to have my nose come in contact with something – HARD. There’s a flash of platinum before my eyes. After landing on the floor, I push up on my hands and sit up.

‘Hey… since when does the floor have long, hard rocks?’ I groped around a bit.

“Weaselette, are you going to quit groping me anytime soon and get up?” A dry voice interrupted my train of thought.

‘Oh, dear God.’ Only then did I realize I was straddling Draco Malfoy, and what I’m groping is his broad, muscular chest. ‘Damn! This thing is basically chiseled… Umm… I mean…’ I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

::click::

“What the hell?” Colin (risking his neck in front of Malfoy) was taking pictures. Of US! Hastily, I scrambled up.

“Something wrong, Weasel?” Malfoy sneered in my direction. “We all know you liked it.” With a glare in Colin’s general direction, he had the poor boy scampering off down the corridor.

“Why on Earth did you DO THAT? Colin’s my friend!” I shouted into his face.

“He was taking pictures,” was the dry response. “Of course, by tomorrow’s first class your brother will know what you do in your spare time.”

Oh my God, he wouldn’t! I mean, I know Colin loves a good picture and all, but this is Draco Stupidass Malfoy. “You wouldn’t dare,” I growled.

“Dare? Oh, I think I do. You see, dares are my favorite thing.” Malfoy smirked at me, nose to nose in my face. My breath hitched in my throat.

::dwink dwink:: I twitched. ::slap::

“Pervert! You – you groped me!” I screamed in his face.

Draco Bloody Malfoy remained calm. “I groped you? If that’s the case, then you were practically shagging my, just with clothes on!”

“Oh, you wish. Intolerable jerk!”

“Stupid perverted child!”

“Child, huh? Well, no child punches like this, you dumbass bastard!” He caught my arm. ‘Damn.’

“Insolent little bi-“ A little blue bundle being levitated by the floor caught our eyes.

Stunned, Malfoy let go of my arm. I bent down to pick up the bundle. Moving the blanket aside, I realized that it was a baby boy.

Looking up at Malfoy, I said, “Don’t you dare continue that sentence.” Then I realized that he was walking off. “Hey! Where are you going?”

“It’s not my kid,” came the drawl. THAT made me even angrier.

“Excuse me? With your reputation, I wouldn’t be surprised if you HAD a couple of kids running around!” He turned to look at me, and probably would’ve sneered if Professor McGonagall hadn’t shown up.

“What in the name of Merlin are you two standing there arguing about?” The baby yawned, and Professor noticed him for the first time. “My goodness! Virginia… is this…?” She looked from Malfoy to me. “I… never noticed that-“

Realization dawned on me. She thought that this was my baby… and that fool’s! “Professor McGonagall, this is not my child. Mal- I mean, Draco and I were talking-“ I was interrupted by a snort.

“Ha, talking. Is that what you call being all over me?” Malfoy raised an eyebrow.

“Why, I outta – If I wasn’t holding him-,” I indicated the baby, “-I would kick your… tush.”

“We all know you want to either way. You know you like it.” I glared at him.

“I think I’ve seen enough,” Professor McGonagall said sternly. “So where did this little rugrat come from?” She took him from me and started cooing in his face.

The fool and I both started. “He… he just kind of popped up,” Malfoy tried to explain.

“Just popped up? It’s not possible to apparate into Hogwarts. His parents must’ve done a spell of some sort. We’ll need to see Professor Dumbledore about this.” She paused. “What’s your name, little one?” The baby gurgled and reached up to pull her hair. Professor McGonagall laughed and handed him back to me.

‘How often does Professor McGonagall laugh?’ was the look I gave Dra- I mean, Malfoy. He shrugged and started walking down the hall.

“Mister Malfoy,” The professor called.

“Professor Dumbledore,” was the reply. I hurried after him.

“Umm… Draco?” Damn it! I was supposed to say Malfoy, Malfoy!

“Are you just going to stand there and goggle at me all day, or are you actually going to say something?” He sneered.

“WAH!!!”

“Oh, dear God Malfoy!”

“What’d I do?!”

“Can’t you find somewhere else to do that God-awful stupid look of yours?”

“I didn’t do anything! Maybe if that little brat-“

“Don’t call him a brat!”

“Well, maybe if the stupid little bastard-“ ::slap:: “Ow! What was that for?”

“What have I told you about cursing around him!?”

“Mr. and Mrs. Mal- I mean,” ooh, Professor McGonagall hid that smirk behind her hand rather well, “Mr. Malfoy, Miss Weasley, are you starting a babysitting service, or are you having maniac reproduction problems?”

“Oh, ew!”

“Why the hell would I want to do that with this bitch?” Did Professor McGonagall just kick him under her robes?

“Ten points from Slytherin for cursing,” she said.

“What the? I’m a 7th year, for crying out loud!”

“For cursing in front of a baby. Oh, and the reason I asked about babysitting.” She pointed back towards us. “Look by your feet.”

“A… oh, not more of them!” I bet you can’t guess who said it… Right. The prat.

Hold it… what did he mean ‘not more of them!’ I looked down. Beside my feet, there were two bundles: one, a light pink, and the other, a light green. A pair of gray eyes and a pair of hazel eyes stared back at me innocently.

“Umm… Malfoy?” I paused, trying to regain my composure. “Can you hold him? I… I need to – to tie my shoe.” Ignoring the fact that my shoes DON’T HAVE LACES.

Draco… Damn! Did it again. Oh, who CARES? Draco took the baby from me. And I went to tie my shoelaces, all right.

I fainted.

CURSE karma.

Disclaimer: Sadly enough, I do not own Harry Potter… the characters and the storyline etc. belong to J.K. Shame, she could’ve at least let me borrow Draco, lol.

Summary: At first it was simple Draco+Ginny AKA Malfoy+Weasley = enemies. During a fight, a baby comes between them. Literally. They are told to watch the baby (as punishment). Do things change? You bet.



Baby, Oh Baby
II: I Introduce to the World…



Draco’s P.O.V.


Dear Gods, the Weaselette fainted! Perfect timing. I’m carrying her AND a crying rugrat. Professor McGonagall had the easy job: carrying the babies in the pink and the green. They don’t make any noise, no less.

I rolled my eyes heavenward. “Which one of you guys hates me?” I grumbled. “Carrying her AND a kid is no easy task – it’s like she put on 10 pounds in the past half hour!”
Weaselette groaned. “I heard that,” came the barely audible voice.

“Can you walk?” She nodded. “Good.” With a ::thump:: I dropped her on her rump on the floor. As she opened her mouth to curse at me, I pointed to the cause of my pain from both Deputy Headmistress AKA Professor and one of my peers. “Would you have preferred me drop you on your head?” I paused. “Besides, I didn’t want to drop the baby and get another beating… a person could sue for abuse, you know!” I glared at her accusingly; she merely laughed it off.

“Uh, hey, Draco? Where’s the Professor?” My Weaselette had this cute puppy – Woah! WTF?! ‘My Weaselette?’ ‘Cute puppy look?!’ And she used my first name, no less.

“Mister Malfoy, Miss Weasley, I do NOT have all day. Unless you’d like to see the Headmaster some OTHER time?” I swear that damn woman’s been taking lessons from Snape or something; that eyebrow raising of hers looks too much like a Slytherin.

“Well?” I realized that I hadn’t been paying attention to a thing that had happened, and that the blasted child in my arms was *still* wailing his head off.

Looking at Weasel, I tried to sneer without looking too much like a deer caught in headlights.

…

What the hell ARE headlights, anyway? All I know is that they’re part of an expression. Bah, who cares. Malfoys do not ponder over things, especially Muggle shit. It’s no where near dignified.

“Neither is cursing,” a voice interrupted my train of thought.

I managed to hold back a blush. Seems that I’d been talking out loud. Hold it.

“Is someone going a little soft on me, my lovely redhead?” I snickered almost inaudibly.

“Oh, not at all, honey-muffin poopey-dragon.” Why is that sickeningly sweet smile making my stomach churn? Ugh, and that name!

::whap:: Spoke too soon.

“Holy fu-“ I stopped. Those slaps hurt like a BITCH. I don’t want another one gracing my gorgeous face – not like I’d give her the pleasure of knowing that, though. She is a Weasley, and I and the rich Slytherin Sex God Malfoy. That does NOT add up.

“Is there a problem, Mister Malfoy?” Where does this woman keep on coming from, and WHY?

“Not at all.” I stalked off towards the Headmaster’s office (‘yet again,’ I noted dryly).

“Hey, Malfoy…” There was a rustle of robes, and the weasel child appeared at my side.

“What now?!” I snarled. Momentarily she seemed unaffected by this. Momentarily.

“If they start crying, then I will have your head for dinner, Draco Malfoy,” she hissed.

“Lord only knows what you’d use it for.” I wiggled my eyebrows, mentally cheering as she squirmed uncomfortably in fury.

“Anyway,” she spoke as soon as she regained her composure. “What shall we call these little…” Her attention was drawn towards my chest as she trailed off.

…

…

Hey, this staring’s kind of starting to creep me out.

“Oh, Draco.”

Oh, man. I wish she hadn’t done that. Even exasperated she sounded kinda hot. Thank Merlin robes are loose.

“No wonder he’s been crying. You’re holding him incorrectly.”

“What?” I always thought that a brat’s head was supposed to be level with his feet. “It’s the way my father used to hold me.”

“No wonder you’re so messed up in the head,” she grumbled.

Little Weasley – since I feel goofy saying ‘she’ all the time, and there must be about 1,000 of them in this school – stepped towards me. The Crying Pain in the Arse was grasped gently.

“You do this – “ she moved one of my elbows so the baby’s head rested near my elbow, “-and this, and… Yuck. Looks like someone needs a diapey change!”

“Diapey? … Oh, that’s disgusting, Weasley! There’s no way in hell I’m doing that,” I cried as she looked at me expectantly. “You must be out of your damn mind!”

“Hello, Mr. Malfoy, Miss Weasley. Good evening to you both. Now what is this that Minerva – Professor McGonagall to you lot – has been telling me about babysitting?” That twinkle in his eyes as we told out story was unmistakable; the old man was plotting something.

“And now here we are,” finished Gin – I mean, the youngest Weasley child. Yeah, I mean her.

“Seems to me,” McGonagall began, “that what we have here is –“

“Cooperation,” Dumbledore said.

“Eh?” I always knew the old geezer was off his rocker.

“Young Mister Malfoy, I am most certainly off of my rocker.” Big pause. “I’m on my cushioned chair.”

Nutcase.

“I was actually going to say that we had a failure to cooperate,” McGonagall mumbled.

“Well, I have a proposal for the two of you.” Generally, whenever Dumbledore makes proposals, it causes on my – the Head Boy’s – part. “You will take care of these three bundles of joy until their parents retrieve them.”

“No way!” … Why am I the only one opposed to this? As I turned around, I realized why: Weaselette was cuddling the blue blanket one.

“Mister Malfoy, I do not believe that you have a say in this.” Whoa! Where the hell did Snape come from? He just kinda… popped up. ‘Gee, a lot of people seem to be doing that lately,’ I thought. ‘Oh, the irony of it all; I thought we couldn’t apparate in the building.’ What is it with teachers and lurking in dark corners anyway; Filch and that cat, Mrs. Norris, are bad enough.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. Presented to the world for the first time are Mr. and Mrs. Draco and Virginia Malfoy.” My eyes bulged out of their sockets. “And you share custody,” he continued, this stupid smile practically glued to his face.

“Whaaa?!!”

“Did you not hear hat part of the agreement… punishment, Mal – Draco, dear? We have to pretend to be together for the kids, and the punishment,” said – well, I guess I’ll have to use her name now – Ginny. Though I couldn’t help gloating at the fact that she looked worse with this news than I did; Professor Snape was paler than usual, and Professor McGonagall could’ve easily friend an egg on her face.

“I, umm, guess I missed it.” Professor Snape was giving me this glare… you know the one – ‘THE’ Glare. Figures. He’s probably thinking the same thing that I am. The sooner I start, the sooner it ends.

“I will not tolerate these imbeciles,” Snape curled his lip while Ginny gasped, “in my classroom.”

“Don’t call them that!”

“Ah, the place of a mother,” Dumbledore sighed wistfully. ‘What is he smoking?!’

“Come along, ::gag:: Virginia. We must get going.” Excuse me while I hurl for being polite to a Weasley.

She smirked at me. “Oh, that IS right!” ‘WTF?’ “Someone needs his diapey changed! And someone else needs to learn how to change it.” I was given this sinister grin.

‘Oh, Gods no,’ I pleaded, as she dragged me out of the door kicking and screaming with three brats in tow.

Vaguely, I heard Professor Snape saying, “That boy could probably be heard in the Great Hall”

Guess who happened to pop up on the way downstairs? The Dream Trio. Weasel, Pothead, and Mudblood. Yippee. Oh, and that Lavender chick.

I grimaced. Bad flashback. I caught Weasel and Lovegood snogging in an empty classroom. Not a pretty picture. I was scarred for life.

“Ferret Asswipe! What the hell are you doing near my sister?” I almost feel sorry for the beating that he’s about to get. Almost. “And whose kids are these?!”

“I would like to introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Draco and Virginia Malfoy… And kids,” Snape called smoothly over his shoulder as he passed.

…

So now he joins McGonagall on my hit list.

“Bloody fucking hell!” Ooh, now he’s gonna die. I closed my eyes and braced myself as a fist went flying.