1. The Closet by Nival Vixen
2. Another Closet (conveniently empty again) by Nival Vixen
3. A Classroom! by Nival Vixen
4. The Surprise by Nival Vixen
5. Negotiations and The Real Surprise by Nival Vixen
I don't own Harry Potter, don't sue.
I was bored... It's random, pointless and weird... Just read and review please!
Ginny groaned as she read yet another fan fiction work with herself and Draco Malfoy having sex in a closet. She didn't mind that they were shipping herself and him together. Why not tell what was already happening?
Their hormones are governing their brains so much that they don't realise that two people in a closet is not going to work! No matter how they use the magic, it doesn't work in Hogwarts! The Gods know we've tried! Part of Dumbledore's idea to try and keep the no-sex-before-marriage thing working. Not that it did... Although the tapestry spell was the worst. I spent weeks trying to get the cat hair off of me. Thanks to Hermione for giving him that idea!
"Another one?" Draco asked as he walked in, seeing Ginny's thoroughly annoyed face. Ginny smirked and nodded at him.
"Of course. There should be more stories in places other than the closet! Are we portrayed as such horny teenagers that we'll fuck in every place available?" Draco smirked at her.
"Well I didn't hear you complaining last night when we were in the shower. Or this morning in the Quidditch changing rooms. And I am quite sure that you didn't complain yesterday before lunch in the unused classroom," he mused, stroking his chin.
"That's not the point!" Ginny said blushing brightly. "We didn't even go near a closet, yet everyone thinks that the closet is the only place we can find to have sex. Haven't they heard of a bed?" Draco shrugged.
"Probably not... They're Muggles, what do you expect?" Ginny rolled her eyes at him.
"You've really got to get over that. It's getting so old!"
"When you get over the closet thing, then I'll get over the Muggles stupidity. How about that?" He asked, knowing she wouldn't agree. Ginny glared over at the pile of closet fan fiction, then shook her head.
"All right. You win." Draco smirked and pulled her to a nearby closet.
Ok, really really bored! I did warn you! Just review! Please? I'll stop writing this if you do! If not, then suffer my wrath, and I'll update this with random stuff every week! (Laughs evilly.) Ok, review now!
You're all being tortured with another chapter! This one is even weirder, more random-er and extremely more pointless than the last chapter! Enjoy!
Only two reviews! I'm disappointed with the lot of you! (Cries.) Oh, well. Ignore that... Thanks to PhoenixFlames, and RoseB for being my only two reviewers! (Hugs)
Ginny smiled as she read a particular fan fiction story. People had been annoyed with the last chapter and her unwillingness for closet-sex, so they all ganged together to write another two fan fictions. One was in a closet, and although it was quite well-written, Ginny burnt it to a pile of ash as soon as she received it. The other story, on the other hand, was not in a closet. It was also written very badly, with spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes. Ginny didn't care.
"Guess what?" Ginny asked Draco, who had just conveniently walked into the room yet again.
"Malfoy's don't guess," he drawled. Ginny threw a ball at him that just happened to be nearby. Despite his Seeker skills, Draco misssed the ball, and it hit him in the stomach. "All right, you can win this time. What?" he asked, rubbing his stomach to ease the pain.
"There's a story where we aren't in a closet," Ginny said excitedly. Draco smirked and took the parchment from her.
"This is horrible! Look at all of the spelling mistakes! And the grammar and punctuation is atrocious! I can't finish it!" Draco said, screwing the story up into a little ball and throwing it into the fire, which happened to be on, even though it was summer, and it was a boiling hot day.
"NO!!!!" Ginny yelled, using more than one exclamation point to show how distraught she was as she tried to retrieve her beloved story from the fiery flames.
Draco shook his head and made the closet story un-burn itself. He started to read it, impressed. Ginny finally got out of the fire, then after making sure she wasn't hurt, she took the closet story, and reburnt it in disgust.
"If you actually read it, you might like it. I thought it was quite good, actually," Draco said smirking at her. "Very... descriptive imagery," he said smirking again. Ginny blushed. "I know of a nearby closet that's always empty..." He added, smirking still.
"Oh, all right... But I want a nearby classroom that's always empty for the next chapter," she said. Draco grinned.
"You should already know that in this type of story, there is no such thing..." He said then pulled to the nearby closet that was always conveniently empty.
I know, more randomness...
The next chapter: a closet that is not always conveniently empty! (Shock!) What will Draco and Ginny do then? Will the classroom be empty by then, or will there be another closet that is empty? Tune in next week, for Closet Cliche!
Review! I want more than two this time! (Thanks to the two that did review!)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Harry Potter, don't hurt me! Thanks to all that reviewed!
Ginny walked up the corridor and seeing another closet, knocked on the door, then opened it.
Thank the Gods there's no one in this one! She thought with relief. She made a mark on her parchment, then kept walking down the corridor. In the last few closets there had been an abundance of couples.
Not all together, obviously. That would have been impossible. Well, at least highly improbable. Three people could fit, if they were all standing in a particular way and no one wanted to breathe. Depending on the size of each individual they could fit four, if they didn't mind getting squished...
Ginny shook her head at her thoughts. Still, at least she wasn't thinking about that. The 'that' in question had occured that very morning while Ginny had been seeing how many closets Hogwarts had, and how many people actually used them... She was bored, Draco was out and it wasn't a Hogsmeade weekend, it wasn't her fault...
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The 'that' in question had started when Ginny searched the dungeons for closets. Surprisingly, they had all been full, but that's not what the 'that' was. The 'that' was this: all of the closets had been full with the same couple! Ginny shuddered.
"I thought you gave back the Time Turner, Hermione!" Ginny had said. Hermione shrugged slightly.
"That's what we wanted you to think," Snape had replied, then closed the closet door.
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Ginny shook her head again then walked up another flight of stairs, not seeing anymore closets. She was going to be as thin as a quill once the day was over!
Well, maybe not one of Lockhart's quills, because they were always really big and fluffy. I always thought he was compensating for something, Ginny thought with a grin. His teddy bear must be really small!
Draco shook his head at Ginny, then walked over to her.
"Draco? I thought you were out? Where have you been?" Ginny asked when she saw him walking towards her.
"I was out until the author decided to put me in here to stop you talking to yourself! I was in a nice village in France too. Stupid author," he grumbled.
"You better not be mean to her, she has the power to shrink your... you-know-what," Ginny whispered. Draco paled.
"I mean, what a lovely author she is!" He stopped paling and looked at Ginny. "Why are you counting closets?" He asked.
"I wanted to see how many closets there are in Hogwarts," she replied. Draco shook his head and pulled Ginny over to Hermione Granger, who just happened to be heading to a nearby closet that Professor Snape had been heading to only moments before.
"Granger, tell her how many closets there are in this place," Draco drawled.
"How could you not know? It's in Hogwarts: A History!" She said. Draco rolled his eyes at her and waited. Hermione shook her head and sighed. "There's 472 closets. Over the course of a single day, 469 are used by students. The other 3 are used by Filch and various cleaning instruments, though I don't want to think what he does with them..." Hermione said with a shudder. Ginny went green and Draco paled, yet again.
"Hermione? How long does thirty seconds take?" Snape's voice came from inside the closet. Ginny shook her head a lot of times, then walked away dizzily. Draco went a shade of green as he followed her. Hermione slipped inside the closet.
"Well, I know of a classroom that's empty," Draco said smirking at her.
"You still want... After... Even though we just saw... Oh, that is just wrong, Draco!" she said shaking her head.
"Well... At least we didn't see him. That would have been wrong," Draco said with a smirk.
"Oh, stop talking about it! Wait, did you say an empty classroom?" She grinned. "I'll meet you there in five seconds," Ginny said and rushed into the nearby empty classroom.
Thank you to the people that told me the chapter didn't work... Now I feel (and look) like an even bigger idiot! Yay...
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, don't sue...
Sorry about the long wait. I had a mean review for this at FF and managed to get writer's block because of it! If you want to know what it was, then you can click on my livejournal link and read me complaining about it!
Ginny looked up from reading some more fan fiction long enough to glare at Draco then went back to reading. "You're still not happy, I see," Draco said, stating the obvious. Ginny rolled her eyes at him. "I can not believe you let me walk into that room when it was full of students!" Draco smirked at her. "It's been three hours, I think you should have gotten over that by now! Besides, it's not my fault you walked into the wrong room! I didn't say that room was the empty one, did I?" Ginny sighed. "No... I guess you're right," she admitted with a sigh. "It doesn't mean I'm happy about it!" "Great. I've got a surprise for you," Draco said grinning. Ginny sat up, curious. "What is it?" "If I told then it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?" "Spoil sport," Ginny muttered then followed him out of the room. Draco led Ginny to a room that wasn't conveniently empty and sat her at a table. "Why are we in the Gryffindor Common Room? In fact how did you get the password to even get in here?" Ginny asked. Draco shrugged. "No idea. I just walked and we ended up here... Hmm... Maybe I can torment some first years while I'm in here," he said smirking as he looked around. Every first year suddenly disappeared from the room. "Oh well," Draco sighed. "Back to the original reason as to why you brought me here... I believe I have a surprise?" Ginny asked. "Malfoy! What are you doing here? How'd you even get in here?" Ron asked. "I've already been through this... I don't know. I just walked and I was suddenly in this room with my girlfriend," Draco said. Ron's eyes bulged and his face went a bright red. "I think he's forgotten how to breathe..." Hermione said from nearby. Draco and Ginny were almost certain she hadn't been there a second ago... "Shouldn't you be off in one of the 453 closets somewhere with Snape?" Ginny asked. "For your information, there are 472 closets, not 453!" Hermione shrilled. Ginny rolled her eyes. "Uh huh..." she said, uninterested. "Go away. I'm supposed to be getting a surprise," she said, glaring at them for ruining everything. "Surprise? I like surprises!" Harry said, coming out of no where. Ginny jumped into the air. "All of you go away! This is my surprise, not yours! Go!" she yelled. Everyone left quickly. Ginny looked around and realised that Draco had left too. "Not you, Draco! get back here!" Draco walked back into the room and smirked when he saw Ginny hanging there in mid air. "Oh, stop smirking and get me down from here. I want my surprise, damn it!" she said crossly. Draco grabbed Ginny's ankle and pulled her down so she was standing on the ground. "Your surprise isn't in here... It's somewhere else," Draco said. "And before you say anything, it's not my fault we ended up here!" "Fine... I just want my surprise," Ginny said and followed him out of the Gryffindor Common Room.They arrived in a different room and once Draco had checked that it was the right room, led her over to a nearby conveniently empty closet for her 'surprise'.
Sorry for the short episode... It will be updated soon! Review!