The lyrics that will keep popping up are from "Run" by Snow Patrol.

*~*

Draco was sitting in his office at the Ministry staring off into space. He'd been distracted for days. He had no idea where his focus had gone. He needed to get himself in gear. He would have to see his son off to Hogwarts in a few weeks. Perhaps that was why he was distracted. He did not like to think of Scorpius leaving, but it was a fact of life. The boy needed to attend school. Draco needed to be clear for that.

There had been several attempts on his life over the years because of his involvement with the Death Eaters. he doubted someone would try while he was sending his son off. not with all those other children and wholly innocent people about, but there was no guarantee.

A knocked sounded at the door.

"Enter."

"Mr. Malfoy," said Mrs. Potts from Human Resources. "I do believe we have found you a new secretary. This is Miss Spinner."

Draco raised a brow at the tiny woman. His former secretary had had the bad form to get herself pregnant. She and her husband were quite ecstatic, but Draco had been annoyed with the prospect of having to train his new assistant to his odd habits and quirks then deal with said temp until his regular returned.

The woman did not look like anything extraordinary. She had mousy light brown hair that was pulled into a ponytail and eyes hidden behind glasses with huge frames.

He would later look back upon the events that would follow and realize he'd never stood a chance. The Fates had been hell-bent on 'correcting' things.

But he knew, upon refection, it was all that Spinner woman's fault.

She was the catalyst.

"Tea, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Yes, Miss Spinner, thank you."

He took the cup without even looking at it. Miss Spinner was very easy to ignore. She seemed to blend very well with the office furniture and wall decor for some reason. She had fixed his tea exactly as he took it. Draco stopped then and looked at her oddly.

"Something the matter, Mr. Malfoy?"

His vision blurred for a second. He got disjointed words and another voice asking nearly the same question. Something the matter, Malfoy?

Draco shook his head to clear it. "I'm quite all right."

She nodded and muttered something.

I'll sing it one last time for you. Then we really have to go. You've been the only thing that's right in all I've done.

Draco blinked. That sounded familiar. Someone laughed and he turned his head sharply, though the only ones in his office were himself and Miss Spinner. He caught a whiff of some sort of perfume. It was spicy and reminded him of ground cloves.

"Miss Spinner, are you wearing perfume?"

"No, sir. You specifically told me not to."

She moved close and all he could smell was the soap she used. Draco frowned. He must be imagining things. After that, Draco decided to take the rest of the afternoon off and rest. He was obviously overworked.


*~*~*~*

There was a song and its melody stuck in his head. Draco hated that. Also annoying was that it sounded like badly tuned in wireless. he could not catch all of the notes or words. It was beginning to frustrate him.

... barely look at you... every single time... we'll make it... away from...

"Father?"

Draco looked at his son. His vision distorted for a moment and he saw someone else. A little girl with blonde hair like his, and there were other people standing behind her. He tried to see them too, but the room went back to how it was. Draco thought he was going mad.

"Draco darling, are you all right?" Astoria asked.

His wife. His son.

This is wrong.

Draco frowned at the thought. It had come unbidden into his mind. Like a thief through an open window, it invaded.

"Draco?" Astoria looked annoyed.

"Sorry. I apologize. I'm just... tired. I shall go rest."

"Feel better, Father."

"I don't want you to be sick, Daddy."

Draco shook his head to clear it. Something was very wrong with him.

"Thank you, Cas-er, um Scorp. I will."

He'd nearly called his son another name. Yes, something was very wrong with him. Astoria was eyeballing him suspiciously. Caspar? He'd been about to call Scorpius Caspar. Draco didn't even know anyone names Caspar.

Did he?

He went to his rooms quickly and laid down on the bed. Draco will himself into restful state. He just wanted oblivion of sleep to take him. He did not know what was wrong, but Draco felt certain that rest would help.

As if you have a choice, even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear...

He heard music, singing, right as he drifted off to sleep. Draco hear the words, but he did not comprehend them. He did not comprehend any of this.



*~*~*~*


"Something the matter, Malfoy?" someone snapped nastily.

Draco turned. He was not certain what had happened. He was not in his bedroom at home. He was in Flourish and Blotts... and he'd been here before. He'd been right here, this moment before, but this had all happened almost fifteen years ago.

Draco turned and looked at the Weasley girl. Well, she was not really a girl any longer. He recalled this day now. He'd been twenty. He'd accidentally bumped her shoulder in the bookstore. They had exchanged a few barbs, then she had lit into him with a fire the likes of which he'd not experienced before.


He was stunned into silence again.

I can hardly speak I understand. Why you can't raise your voice to say...

"Apologies," he managed.

Draco could see Potter in the distance. They must be shopping together. Before in this memory he'd said something nasty to her instead of apologizing, but that was only because he had been thinking how pretty she looked with her whiskey-colored eyes flashing in annoyance at him.

Pale skin, a sprinkle of freckles, that mane of red hair and those angry whiskey eyes. He did not know why he was seeing it differently this time. He'd shook himself hard before, thinking he had gone crazy for even thinking of her in that way for even a moment.

She was Potter's sodding girlfriend. Or was she already his wife? Draco was trying to recall when they had gotten married. Seemed like it had been right after the twenty-first birthday party Astoria had helped his mother throw for him.

Draco glanced at her left hand. No ring. Not yet.

"What are you staring at?"

"I-"

"Is he bothering you, Ginny?"

Potter. Of course. The feelings for him were not confusing to Draco in the least. Those had remained quite intact over the years. Harry Potter had saved his life, so Draco was civil, but he still didn't like the man and thought he was a bit of a wanker.

"Leave her alone, Malfoy."

Draco rolled his eyes. "I bumped her and apologized. That's all. Get your knickers out of their twist, Potter.

Draco shoved past Harry Potter to stalk out of the bookstore, but woke up abruptly.

Strange. Why had he dreamed that? Why had he recalled it differently this time?

To think I might not see those eyes...


*~*~*~*


Draco was at a meeting and listening to his department boss drone on. Still, he was taking notes like a dutiful drone. Sure, he had his own office and stuff, but Draco was not under the delusion he had any authority over anyone in the Ministry except his assistant.

Miss C. Spinner. He'd been meaning to ask her what the C stood for.

He let his mind drift, but Draco's quill was still scribbling away.

We don't have time for that. All I want is to find an easier way to get out of our little heads.

Draco felt himself nodding off, but seemed powerless to stop it. He'd been sleeping poorly lately. His dreams were full of old memories, but he saw them through new eyes.


*~*~*~*


Draco was back on his first day at the Ministry. He'd just been hired. Now why on earth was he dreaming about this? Nothing important had happened that day.

He was in the lift. Instead of getting off on the right floor like he had in the original memory, Draco stayed. He could not say why. The lift stopped and someone got on. Draco's eyes went wide. She had never worked for the Ministry. What was she doing here?

Their eyes locked, golden and silver, and she seemed confused. As if he was not supposed to be here. Well, he wasn't. Not originally.

Draco did not understand why he kept dreaming of her.

Her hair was pulled into a ponytail and she was wearing nice green robes. A green bag with the Holyhead Harpies team logo on it was slung over her shoulder. Yes, that's right. She'd been a Quidditch player until she'd had her first child with Potter then had gone into retirement. Loving Quidditch as he did, Draco had watched her play many times. She was a seeker. Like him.

Draco discreetly followed her after she exited the lift.

He was curious.

I know we'll make it anywhere away from here.

He noticed they were on level two and thought her going to see Potter, but she went to the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office. Draco frowned.

Then he recalled that her father had worked in that office. That's right. Lucius Malfoy had groused about that several times.

Draco was so distracted with his thoughts that he did not notice she had stopped walking and barrelled right into her.

"Oi!"

When she saw who had bumped her, her eyes blazed. Draco wanted to smile, but thought the better of it. He had no desire to be on the receiving end of another bat bogey hex.

"Apologizes."

"What are you doing here."

"Not entirely sure," Draco responded honestly.

MALFOY!


*~*~*~*


Draco jerked awake. His boss was glaring at him.

"Apologies, Mr. Bandersnatch."

Bandersnatch was still glaring. After a moment of that, he went back to speaking.

Michael, the only coworker Draco could tolerate, leaned over and whispered, "Really smooth, Draco. So who are Val and Emmy?"

Draco frowned. He had no idea what Michael was referring to. Michael tapped his parchment, drawing Draco's eyes there.

Several things were scribbled on his parchment - a doodle of the Holyhead Harpies' team logo which was a talon, the words 'light up as if you have a choice', and the names, at least he assumed they were names, Val and Emmy. Draco had no idea what to do. Perhaps he was going mental.

Draco decided to go see someone about it.

"I have no idea, Michael. Just doodling."

Michael gave him an odd look.


*~*~*~*


He'd taken off from work early to go to St. Mungo's. Theodore Nott was a healer there. Draco had to wait to see his old housemate. That was fine. Well, really it was not, but Draco needed some answers or something. He fidgeted nervously until his name was called.

"Malfoy?" Theo said as he entered the exam room.

"Nott."

"What are you doing here? I thought your family had a private healer?"

"I don't trust him."

"Fair enough," Theo replied. "What's going on then?"

"I need you to check and see if I am crazy."

Theo's brow scrunched. he leaned close peering right into Draco's eyes with his sky blue ones. Theo closed one eye and peered closer with his open eye.

"Definitely crazy."

Draco's stomach sank.

Then Nott started laughing. "You never quit, do you? If you wanted to catch up, you need not have gone to such trouble. You could have owled, Draco. Bloody hell. You were always so dramatic."

Draco snarled. He actually snarled. "I'm bloody well serious! I think I am going mad! Hatter-like. Alice, tea parties, mome raths outgrabe and all that!"

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son," Theo replied seriously.

They stared at one another in silence for several moments. Draco felt like Theo was trying to gage if he were serious or not.

"All right, Malfoy, in all seriousness, what makes you think you're going nutters?"

"I'm dreaming of the past."

Theo glared, so Draco elaborated.

"I'm dreaming of things that have already happened, but I see them differently than when they happened. I feel different about the situation, and sometimes I do different things, and it changes how things happen."

"Wanting to change your past does not make you crazy, Draco."

"But the events that get changed make no sense. Why would I care about those things? It's not any of the truly tragic or world-altering things I did, not any of the stupids things. It all seems meaningless. I don't know why these little things seem to matter to my subconscious."

And as we say our long goodbye I nearly do.

"And I have this song that I don't think I have ever heard before stuck in my sodding head. It was just there one day, waiting to annoy me."

Theo was looking at him in a way that made Draco think Nott was actually beginning to suspect Draco might actually be mad.


*~*~*~*


Draco watched Potter and his family on the platform as he waited for Scorpius to board the Hogwarts Express. They exchanged a look and a nod, then Draco's gray eyes moved to the redhead standing off to the side. His eyes wandered there almost involuntarily. His head was full of memories that he could not understand. He was in his mid thirties, had a child, was married, had an office job, but he was beginning to suspect that was not what he was supposed to be doing.

He could not understand why.

All he knew was he felt out of place in his own life - as if he were supposed to be doing something else with it, be married to another person. He could not very well say such a thing to his wife, though. Astoria had a temper and her sister Daphne was crazy. Daphs would probably kill him just for even thinking he should not be married to Astoria.

"It isn't supposed to be like this, silly," Astoria said. "You hesitated and your moment passed, but you are starting to recall who you really are. She knows it too."

Draco looked at Astoria in confusion. "What the devil are you on about?"

"What, darling?"

He realized she had not actually said that, that he'd imagined it. Draco shook his head to clear it. Did not make any sense. Was he hallucinating? Again? Then he blinked he swore he saw Miss Spinner weaving through the crowded platform.

"Miss Spinner?"

"Draco?" Astoria questioned.

But Draco had already started chasing after her. She was weaving more quickly, but he was certain that it was her mousy brown hair he was chasing. Draco began shoving people aside gently in an effort to get to her. Suddenly his path was blocked by a body he could not move. They tumbled to the platform together, Draco landing on top of the other person. He tried to catch most of his weight, wincing as his palms struck the wooden platform quite hard.

He just so happened to have run down Ginny Potter.

Draco stared down at her in shock. She smelled like spices. Specifically cloves. Her red hair had landed like a fiery halo around her head.

"Apologies. Are you all right?"

"Light up as if you have a choice."

Draco blinked down at her. "I beg your pardon?"

Before she could say anything else, his arms were grabbed and Draco was hauled to his feet.

"Now see here, Malfoy-"

Ginny Potter held up a hand to her brother to still him. She was staring at Draco as if she had never seen him before.

"I'm all right, Ron. It was an accident."

Potter and Granger-Weasley were looking on curiously.

"Quite," Draco agreed. "Apologies again, Ginny."

Everyone seemed shocked by him calling her by her first name, including Draco. Where in the hell had that come from? But it felt so natural, like he had said it dozens of times and with dozens of different emotions behind it.

"Do not think on it... Draco."

Her calling him Draco seemed to be equally shocking to the audience assembled. Do not think on it? She told him not to think on it? Her? Not ruddy likely. Draco gave her a curt bow and turned to leave. He'd walked several steps before glancing back. She was still watching him.


*~*~*~*


"Ginny, are you sure you're all right?" Hermione asked.

"I... yes," she said in a hurried manner before smiling at her sister-in-law. "I'm fine. He just knocked me over. He was chasing someone it looked like. Really there was no harm done."

But really there was, and it terrified Ginny.

When she was lying under him, she had a flash of them in such a position somewhere else. Laughing and just being and... kissing? She had never kissed Draco Malfoy, nor would she. Still, she had called him Draco. It had come off her tongue like she said it always. That was almost as strange as her having memories of kissing someone she had never been able to stand.

But a part of her seemed to recall it being quite nice.

She was a married woman with three children. She should not be thinking about that with anyone else. Especially not Draco Malfoy, of all people. Harry would flip if he knew her thoughts.

Have heart, my dear. We're bound to be afraid.

And there was that song again. She'd been hearing it for days - like a whisper in her head. Like Riddle had been, but this did not seduce or fill her with dread as he and his nightmares did. She was not certain what she felt about it.

Harry had looked at her oddly when she kept asking him if he'd left the wireless on.

Maybe she was going insane.

When she leaned down to hug her two sons goodbye before they headed to Hogwarts for the school year, Ginny was struck with a very odd thought. She was meant to be hugging two girls of the same age goodbye, not two boys a year apart. She was living the wrong life.

That made Ginny go cold. What on earth was wrong with her?

Ginny fully suspected she was going mad.

She looked at the picture of her with her children and was horrified by the stray thought that they weren't really her children. Not her children as they were supposed to be. She felt horribly guilty for those thoughts. Harry had noticed her mood in the last few weeks too. He kept asking her if she was all right. For some reason his concern annoyed her.

She did not understand it. Ginny loved Harry. She had loved him since she was a little girl. She did not know anything else.

Did she?

As she looked at the two boys and one girl with her in the snap, she was struck by the random thought that they were supposed to be three girls and one boy. Two redheads, two blondes, all devious.

Ginny set the photograph in her hands down abruptly. She had everything she had ever wanted. Why was she suddenly not happy with it? Something was wrong with her. Perhaps she should see a healer? No, she needed her friends. Hermione was out because, while Ginny dearly loved her sister-in-law, Hermione was not objective when it came to Harry or Ron.

No, she needed Dean Thomas, Michael Corner or Luna Scamander.

Ginny grabbed her cloak and left the house. It always amused people that two of her dearest friends were her two ex boyfriends. Ginny could not help that. She had been raised to never throw anything away if it could be helped.

She apparated to the alley near the Ministry, hoping Luna was in her office and not out and about with Rolf. She had mentioned something about investigating, of all things, a jabberwocky sighting in Reading last week.

She needed to see Luna, though. Dean was in Italy currently. He was always being called abroad on art commissions. Thank goodness Seamus kept the gallery running. Michael was to rational to listen properly. Ginny adored her friend, but he was practical and far too Ravenclaw. This thing going on with her had a distinct air of whimsical fuckery to it that only Luna would properly understand.

Ginny hurried into the lift. It was lunch time, so people were in and out. Perhaps she should try to pop in on Harry. Give him a smile since she had been all frowns lately. She barely paid attention as more people squished into the lift. She was too distracted.

It was not until someone's knuckles brushed the backs of hers that Ginny looked around.

And I can barely look at you, but every single time I do, I know we'll make it anywhere away from here.

She sucked in air sharply through her nose when she saw who was standing right next to her, pressed far too close to her, in the now-crowded lift - Draco Malfoy. And he had the strangest look on his face as he peered down at her. It was soft. She did not think she had ever seen such a soft look on his sharp features before.

Oh, but you have.

He leaned towards her slightly, and Ginny panicked. She was pretty sure he was about to kiss her. That could not happen. Ever.

Oh, but it has.

Thankfully the lift doors dinged as they opened on the floor holding Luna's office. Ginny shoved through the crush almost forcefully to escape that mesmerising silvery gray stare. She turned, breathing heavily, to watch the lift doors close. He had leaned to the side slightly to see her. His eyes looked bewildered now instead of smoldering. As if he, too, had no idea what had just happened.

Ginny turned to run to Luna's office.

As she spun, there was a person there with her arms full of scrolls and parchments. Ginny smacked into her quite hard. Pages and paper when flying everywhere. It was like and explosion of parchment.

"Oh balls!"

It would have been comical if Ginny was not so mortified. She had not sworn like that since she'd had her first son. Little ears and all.

The young woman she'd nearly ran over was on her hands and knees gathering paper as she giggled.

"I'm so terribly sorry," Ginny said as she crouched to help.

"It's quite fine. You seem to be in a bit of a hurry. Don't let me keep you."

Ginny did not move until all the scrolls and pages were gathered and she had helped the tiny woman to her feet. Ginny smiled. Her thick glasses were askew and her light brown hair was coming out of the messy bun it was in. She looked a bit wild. It made Ginny smile.

"Really. Apologies, Miss... um..."

"Spinner. Chloe Spinner."

Chloe Spinner somehow managed to unearth an arm to produce a hand for Ginny to shake.

"Ginny Potter."

"You played chaser for the Holyhead Harpies. I thought you looked familiar."

"You're old enough to know that?" Ginny said, smiling. She looked fresh out of Hogwarts.

"I'm older than I look," the woman said with a cryptic smile. "Listen, can I help you find something?"

"I was just heading to Luna Scamander's office. I'm familiar with the lay of the land around here, but thank you for your help, Miss Spinner."

"Anytime. I'm always happy to help."

Grinny's brows furrowed after the young woman had turned to leave. That was odd. Or perhaps she was going mad and thinking normal things were odd just because of her odd dreams and that damned song that seemed to be on a near-constant loop in her head.

She hurried to Luna's office.


*~*~*~*


Draco made his way back to his office in a daze. He was not entirely certain what had just come over him. He'd very nearly kissed Harry Scarhead Potter's wife in the lift. He had not suffered such poor impulse control since he was eighteen years old.

The truly frightening part was that it felt like deja vu - like he had done it before. Lost of times, but specifically that moment - the crowded lift, neither of them talking, a subtle brush of hands, a look, and then a kiss. He had been there before.

But how could he have been?

Draco locked himself in his office and riffled through his cabinets until he found the bottle of Ogden's Old that his friend Blaise had given her from Christmas last year. He looked around for a glass or something. All he saw was his chipped Weird Sisters mug that had the remnants of his morning tea in it. Draco grabbed that and dumped the rest of the liquid in the potted plant Astoria had placed in his windowsill. He poured five fingers of the firewhisky and downed it. Then he poured five more and began pacing the length his rather small office.

He just needed to think.


The problem was that Draco could not think straight. He was confused. He had not been this torn since he was sixteen years old and faced with a certain seemingly impossible task.

Draco had no idea what was wrong with him or why this was happening now, so he sure as hell did not know how to fix it or make it go away. He took a long drink of his firewhisky and looked at his notes from the meeting with Bandersnatch last week. He had not been able to part with them.

Val and Emmy

Draco finished off his drink and poured some more.

Two redheaded girls with gray eyes that played Quidditch, a seeker and a chaser. A little blonde girl with a stare that rivaled Narcissa Malfoy's basilisk stare and a little Slytherin prince who rivaled both his parents in rebellious and mischievous behavior.

Valkerie - spelled wrong on purpose - and Ember. Druella and Caspar. Three girls, one boy. One set twins.

Draco snarled and threw the three times empty mug across the office. Thank Merlin it had an unbreakable charm on it. It just bounced then lay still on the unattractive gray carpet of his office floor.

He stared at it for a long time feeling just as cold and solitary as the mug. Not even the warmth of the alcohol flowing in his veins seemed to warm him.


*~*~*~*


Luna was at lunch, much to Ginny's disappointment, but her assistant Allegra told Ginny to wait in Luna's office because she would be returning shortly. Ginny knew that Allegra could tell she was upset.

The door opened and Luna entered with Michael. They were both laughing. Ginny watched their body language with interest. She had never voiced this opinion, but she had always felt there was something unrealized with Michael Corner and Luna. Sure, he had been one of the ones who picked on Luna in school, but Ginny suspected that there had been no malice behind it. He had picked on her a bit too before they had started going out.

She also suspected that was why neither Luna nor Michael ever acted upon their obvious chemistry. He was Ginny's friend and her ex. Not that Ginny did not like Luna's husband Rolf, she did, but he was just... there. He was a nice enough fellow, but Ginny had always been under the impression that Luna needed someone that had a bit more spunk to them.

Michael had never married and never had a girlfriend for more than a few months. And a lot of times he saw or hung out with Luna more than his lady of the moment. He was friendly enough, but Ginny could now see something else behind his eyes when he looked at Luna. He was godfather to both Luna's sons.

And what in the hell was wrong with her? Not only was she subconsciously trying to break up her own marriage, but now her best friend's as well?

"Gin?" Michael questioned, being the first to notice her.

Luna turned. "Are you all right?"

"No, I'm sorry... I... should not have come. I'll just go."

Luna pointed at the chair across from her desk. "Sit."

"I'll leave you two ladies to your obviously desperately-needed girlspeak," Michael said before he leaned down and kissed Luna's cheek.

If she had blinked, Ginny might have missed the wistful look Michael gave Luna before nodding at them and leaving.

"What's wrong?" Luna asked after closing the door behind him.

"I think I'm going insane, Luna."

"What makes you suspect such a thing? I know nargles steal loads of things, but I don't think they can steal someone's sanity."

Ginny smiled. Luna blaming nargles actually soothed her a bit.

"I'm having odd dreams about the past. I dream a memory and it changes slightly. It turns out not to be as I recalled it. And sometimes I feel like I'm not supposed to be where I am, that I should be someplace else, doing other things."

"Well, Father does need a new editor for the Quibbler."

"That's not what I meant."

How could Ginny possibly tell her best friend that she suspected her children weren't really hers and that she was living someone else's life?

"What did you mean then?"

"Swear to me you won't say anything, Luna."

"I swear it. Anything between us today is only between us. I would never betray you. You were my first friend at Hogwarts."

Ginny smiled sadly. Yes, she knew this, and maybe that's why Luna had never acted on her feelings towards Michael. That made Ginny feel immense guilt. What if Luna's unwavering loyalty to her had ruined Luna's chance at happiness. Not that she was not happy now, but what if it was not supposed to be like this? What if Ginny had said to Luna that it was all right for her to pursue Michael? What then? Would Michael now be the father to her boys instead of godfather?

"What if I made a mistake," Ginny swallowed nervously, not really believing she was saying the words out loud. "By marrying Harry?"

Ginny waited for the anger and accusations. Luna was Harry's friend just as much as she was Ginny's, and Luna had loyalty to rival any Hufflepuff's.

"Why do you think that, Gin?" Luna asked calmly.

Ginny looked at her friend in shock.

"You thought I would condemn you for such thoughts? We are friends, Ginny. What sort of a friend would I be to become angry over thoughts? Sure, I am not pleased, but you are in obvious distress, and that is my first concern. Tell me more. Let me try to help you."

Ginny sighed in relief at having someone to talk about this with finally. She'd had it pressing on her for weeks.

"I don't want to disrupt your day."

"Nonsense," Luna said. "I only had lunch with Michael planned today. The rest of my afternoon was busy work which can certainly be put off until tomorrow."

"Thank you, Luna. You're a good friend." And you deserve better than me.

"Not at all," Luna replied. "Right then. Let's start at the beginning. So... if you are not married to Harry, who are you married to? Or are you married at all? Or has this even entered the picture? Can I even ask this question yet?"

Ginny shifted uncomfortably. How was she supposed to say out loud that she was beginning to suspect that she was supposed to be married to Draco Malfoy, whose family had kidnapped and held Luna to use against her father?

"Um... well..."