“You did not.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Draco, we just lost the match. I’m standing here in my muddy, sweaty Quidditch kit, I smell like mud, grass, sweat and leather, my hair is sweaty and dirty, and I’m griping about not being able to find my box of tampons because my period came two days early. You did not just propose marriage to me.”

“Well, I would hate to be the one to point out that you are mistaken, but I do believe I just did.”

“Have you ever even heard of the term ‘romantic’?”

“Of course. I have thoroughly researched the subject.”

“I see. And can you cite exactly where your research told you that this particular setting would be a romantic proposal?”

“Yes, of course. ‘You don’t really need to have anything planned, Draco dear. You know that Ginny loves you, and the mere fact that you’re presenting her with this gorgeous diamond ring will be romantic in and of itself. You’ll know when the time is right to give it to her.’”

“While your impression of my mother is admirable, you can’t possibly expect me to believe that she told you to propose to me after we lost a grueling Quidditch match, while I’m grousing about tampons.”

“Perhaps not this exact situation, no, however she was correct about one thing, I did know when the time was right.”

“How in the world can you possibly think that the time is right, right now?”

“Because you’re pissed off that you lost the game, and you’re sweaty and stained with mud and grass, and you’re griping about your period being two days early.”

“I’m sorry, I’m failing to see your logic.”

“Shall I explain?”

“Please do, I’m all ears.”

“Very well. Firstly, today, you lost your game. You know that you’re not always going to win your matches, but when you do lose a match, you’re even more determined to win the next one. You carry that determination in every aspect of your life. And I love that about you. If you want something, you get it, and you don’t care what you have to do to achieve your goal. I always found that incredibly Slytherin of you. Secondly, while I always think you’re beautiful, you’re never quite as gorgeous as when you’ve just been doing something that you love, like playing Quidditch. You’re good at Quidditch, and you know that you’re good at Quidditch. You glow, Ginny Weasley, when you’re sweaty and mud stained, because you love it so much.”

“What about your third point? How does griping about tampons and periods lend itself to romance?”

“That one is the best of all. I’ve determined that there’s nothing quite as satisfying as when a relationship reaches a level of comfort where there’s no awkwardness about talking about the little personal issues like that. You’re comfortable enough with me to grouse about your lack of tampons to me and, to me, it’s the best kind of openness I’ve ever experienced. I love even more that I don’t mind hearing about it. And if you say yes, I will happily spend the rest of my life listening to you talk about tampons.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think that’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.”

“I told you I’d thoroughly researched the subject.”

“I still think the setting leaves a little to be desired. Couldn’t you at least have waited until I’d had a shower?”

“I could have, but that would have rendered my second point moot.”

“I suppose. Let me see that ring again?”

“Sorry?”

“I’m clearly insane, or else I don’t get out very much, because I think your idea of romance is beginning to brush off on me. Let me see that ring again?”

“Well, alright, but I’ll warn you, it’s going to sway your decision.”

“I’ll be the judge of that. Give it here.”

“Fine.”

“Draco, this is a gorgeous ring.”

“I did say that.”

“Technically, that was my mother saying that, I’m sure you’ll recall, after all you recited it from your memory. You never weighed in your opinion on its gorgeousness.”

“Well, I did buy it for you, so, of course it’s gorgeous. I have excellent taste.”

“If you say so, I suppose I’ll have to believe you.”

“Malfoys will accept nothing less than the best. That’s why I’m asking you to marry me.”

“You’re saying that I’m the best?”

“You’re certainly the best thing to ever happen to me.”

“Your humility is staggering.”

“I know.”

“If I say yes, are you going to stop grinning at me like a Cheshire cat?”

“Perhaps. It would likely take some time for me to stop grinning as you will have made me the happiest man in the world but…”

“You can stop spouting the clichés already.”

“You don’t like clichés? I thought every woman liked clichés?”

“Now you’re teasing me. You know that I’m not every woman, I’m the best.”

“That you are.”

“Alright. Propose again.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Propose again, and propose properly.”

“Ginevra Weasley, you’re pissed off that you lost your game, and you’re sweaty and mud stained, and you’re griping about your period. But it’s all part of what makes me love you so much. Will you make my miserable existence brighter and marry me?”

“Draco Malfoy, you are an insufferable prat. But you’re my insufferable prat and I love you all the same. Yes. Yes, I will marry you.”

“Aren’t you going to kiss me?”

“No, I’m filthy and sweaty. I am not going to kiss you until I have had a shower.”

“How about I join you in there?”

“That, Mr. Malfoy, is possibly one of the best ideas you’ve ever come up with.”

“Aside from asking you to marry me.”

“Yes, aside from asking me to marry you. Get in here, you insufferable prat.”

“YOUR insufferable prat.”

“My insufferable prat. Just get your arse in here and snog me before I decide to change my mind.”