A/N: Apparently, I had Pride and Prejudice on the brain when I wrote this. Brownie points if you can spot the two references to it - one to the novel, and one to the BBC movie version. As always, thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
Chapter 8 - Masks
The summer had not been an easy one so far, Hermione thought. Ginny was taken right out from under almost the entire Order's collective nose, and after a week of searching, everyone believed her to be dead. Hermione had held Ron in her arms as he cried, wisely not offering words of consolation, knowing that nothing she could say would be adequate. She held him, she rubbed his back and stroked his hair, she forgot her own grief in the face of his. And a part of her was simply grateful that he chose to come to her, that he chose to show her so much vulnerability. She tried to be his strength.
On the tenth day after Ginny disappeared, Bill and Fleur were married in the parlor of Grimmauld Place. Mrs. Weasley had insisted that the wedding go on - Ginny would have wanted us all to be happy, she said. The wedding carried all the sadness, all the ache of loss of a funeral. The absences of Ginny and Dumbledore hung in the air like a fog, heavy and oppressive. Hermione shuddered at the thought of the forced smiles on everyone's faces all day, of the simple toast Mr. Weasley gave at the subdued dinner that evening - his voice had cracked as he spoke of gaining a daughter, and Mrs. Weasley let big, fat tears run down her cheeks. It was awful.
Ginny had come back, like a miracle, and Hermione thanked whatever mystery of fate had made it so. Everything should have been better, everyone should have been happy once again.
But it was not so, and Hermione was worried. There was the constant tension between Ron, Harry and Malfoy. They were like vicious dogs circling one another before a fight, glaring and snarling, every muscle poised to spring. Hermione found herself ruefully wishing for the old days when Malfoy would say something nasty, Harry and Ron would return in kind, and everyone would go about their business. Now, without even a word being spoken, the hostility had increased ten-fold. When the three of them were in a room together, Harry stared at Malfoy unabashedly, hatred in his eyes. And Malfoy, though most of the time appearing entirely unconcerned and almost oblivious to Harry's presence, would shoot him looks now and then that chilled Hermione's blood.
Added to this was the difficulty the Order was having trying to track down the remaining horcruxes. Hermione's eyes felt constantly strained with the effort of reading all day, week in and week out. Her bedroom was buried under a stack of books, some brought from the library at Hogwarts by Professor McGonagall, some borrowed from the Ministry Library, some taken (Hermione didn't question how) from private collections. And somewhere in all of these books, Hermione was hoping to find the paper trails that would lead to the horcruxes. She had stumbled on clues - the mention of an antique bronze paperweight in the shape of an eagle, Rowena Ravenclaw's own crest, sent the group on a weeklong hunt through old storage vaults in Hogwarts, but nothing turned up. The paperweight was a good candidate for being a horcrux, but Hermione was having no luck tracing its whereabouts.
All of these were enough to leave Hermione feeling constantly ill at ease, but her greatest source of worry was Ginny. Ginny had returned with smiles and tears for everyone, bubbling with excitement and full of energy. But only a few hours after her return, Hermione noticed that Ginny seemed withdrawn and quiet. She had a vacant, haunted look in her deep brown eyes. The first couple of days after Ginny's return, Hermione had held her tongue, watching Ginny in silent sympathy, waiting to see if her usually happy friend would snap out of it. But Ginny remained almost mute, barely eating at meals and then returning to her room, never participating in the lively discussions taking place around her at the table, never even giving an indication that she heard them.
Finally, Hermione spoke of her fears to Harry and Ron.
"I think something's wrong with Ginny," she told them quietly.
"What do you mean?" asked Ron, looking up in alarm from the game of wizard's chess he was playing.
"Haven't you noticed how quiet she's been since she came back? And she doesn't eat very much."
"I've noticed," Harry said, nodding. "But, Hermione, think of all she's gone through in the last month. I think it weighs on her. And I know it was horrible having to travel all that way with Malfoy. He really got under her skin, I think. Probably verbally abused her the entire way. I've noticed that she seems more upset when he's around, the slimy git. If I had my way, he'd be locked up in Azkaban right now, serving a life sentence. That's more than he deserves."
"I know Ginny's been through a lot, but she's never been one to mope around like this," Hermione replied skeptically.
"Trust me, Hermione, when she and I are alone, she's perfectly fine. Maybe she's just getting adjusted to being around so many people again." Ron nodded his agreement with Harry's statement, and the two went back to their game. Hermione, still unconvinced, sighed and left.
-----
Ginny was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling, when there was a knock at the door.
"Come in," she sighed, not moving.
"Hi, Ginny," said Hermione, a bit hesitantly. "I just thought I'd see how you were doing. You've been a bit quiet lately. I was wondering if anything was wrong."
Ginny turned her head and contemplated her friend for a moment before returning her gaze to the ceiling.
"No, nothing's wrong. I'm just tired."
"Oh." A pause. "Well, if you do need to talk about anything, you know I'm here, right?"
"I know, Hermione. Thanks. But I'd like to rest now, if you don't mind."
"Sure, Ginny," Hermione said softly. "I guess I'll see you at dinner then."
"Yes, see you then." And Ginny remained motionless until the door clicked faintly with Hermione's withdrawal from the room. Sighing deeply, she rolled away from the door, curling her knees up to her chest as she faced the window. Sunlight filtered through the age-clouded glass, lighting up a track of dust specks which slowly floated in the golden haze.
Nothing really was wrong, Ginny thought to herself. She was surrounded by her family, she had the boyfriend of her dreams - what did she have to complain about? Really, if anything at all was wrong, it was that she was terribly stupid, and Hermione couldn't help her with that. She was stupid for putting her trust in Draco (Malfoy, Ginny - his name is Malfoy!), stupid for being so easily fooled by him.
But that's me! Always making the wrong decision. First it was Tom, now Drac- Malfoy, damn it! How could I fall in love with him? He must have been laughing at me the entire time. A hard lump rose in her throat at the thought. Stop it, Ginny. No more crying about him. He's not worth it, and you owe it to Harry to get over him!
That might have been the worst of it - the fact that her heart stubbornly refused to let her go back to the way she used to feel about Harry. Little things about him kept annoying her, like the sloppiness of his kisses, or his awkward fumbling with her bra, or even the goofy smile he'd get after a snog session. Ginny couldn't remember ever noticing those things before, and wondered what had changed.
When she was with Harry, she tried to be cheerful, tried to seem interested while he rattled on about Order business. And whatever he wanted to do with her physically, she passively allowed, not that he really tried to go very far. He deserved that much, at least. After all, none of it was new to her anymore, and that was nobody's fault but her own.
Mrs. Weasley had informed her daughter earlier in the week that she would be returning to Hogwarts for her sixth year. Harry, Ron and Hermione would stay at headquarters, continuing their search for the horcruxes and preparing for the imminent battle with Voldemort. Professor McGonagall had dropped off all of the textbooks the three would need to study for N.E.W.T.s, and Lupin was going to tutor them in their free time. Malfoy would be remaining at Grimmauld Place as well, partly because even Hogwarts would be a dangerous place for him, and partly because he was aiding the others in their search. The older members of the order - Mad-Eye, Lupin, and Mr. Weasley - trusted Malfoy, and felt confident that he could help make a difference in the war effort. In fact, Malfoy had proven himself useful to the Order already, detailing to the best of his ability what he knew about the Death Eaters, and drawing a map of hidden rooms in Malfoy Manor which the Ministry used to confiscate a number of dark artifacts from the estate. Malfoy had even won over Mrs. Weasley and Fleur with his smooth charm. Both women thought he was such a gentleman, always so polite and considerate.
This made dinner even harder for Ginny. Malfoy conversed civilly and even thoughtfully with Lupin, Mad-Eye, her parents, Tonks, and the other random members of the Order who dropped in on occasion. He was polite to Hermione, calling her "Granger" rather than "mudblood," and passed up opportunities to ridicule her. Harry, he avoided talking to, and by extension he avoided Ron as well, but when forced to, he was perfectly civil to the boys. Often, Ginny saw him give Harry looks that were full of barely concealed rage, but she supposed that old rivalries died hard. Ginny alone was excluded from Malfoy's attention. When his eyes slid over her, it seemed like he was looking right through her. He never addressed her, never acknowledged that she existed. The few times that she participated in the conversation, he was careful not to. She ran into him on the stairs once, and he had stopped and stood aside, staring at the wall blankly until she passed him. The action had hurt her so much she had collapsed into sobs the moment she closed her door behind her.
It was somehow more painful to her that he ignored her completely. She thought she might have been able to stand it if he had mocked her, or even if he had told Harry what happened. At least then she could have hated him and she could have retaliated. But he held his silence, and Ginny felt like she had been wiped out of existence when they were in the same room together. He had smiles for her mother and Fleur, and each one burned right through her.
Yes, Ginny thought, I'm glad I'm going back to Hogwarts. I need to get away from him. Maybe then I'll get my sanity back.
-----
"Ginny, hurry up or you'll miss the train!" Mrs. Weasley called up the stairs.
Ginny sat motionless on the bed, her packed trunk standing in front of her.
This is it, then, she thought, playing with her hands in her lap. She had longed for this day to come for weeks. No more trying to mask all the hurt inside, no more pretending to be happy around Harry, no more dealing with Hermione's anxious glances.
No more feeling like something's dying inside me every time I have to look at Draco.
With a sigh, Ginny slowly stood up and began to drag her trunk downstairs. Mrs. Weasley waved her arms fretfully when Ginny reached the entrance hall.
"Finally!" she exclaimed. "Draco, Ginny's ready to go!" Malfoy strode into view from one of the adjoining rooms. Mrs. Weasley beamed at him. "Ginny, Draco is going to escort you to the station. Harry would have liked to, but he, Ron, and Hermione had to leave early this morning on urgent business for the Order. He asked me to tell you he'd write soon."
Ginny glared balefully at Malfoy.
"Can't I just go to the station by myself? I'm not a little girl, you know."
"Don't be silly. I'm not letting you go anywhere by yourself ever again. Or at least not until you’re thirty - or forty. Now shoo! Walk quickly! Don't talk to strangers!"
Without looking at her, Malfoy took Ginny's trunk and rolled it out the front door of Grimmauld Place. Ginny had no choice but to follow. He set a quick pace and didn't look back to see if she was keeping up. Scowling, Ginny walked as fast as she could and managed to get within a few feet of him, but she hung back, deciding she'd rather glare at his back than walk at his side. She noticed that he held himself stiffly, his shoulders erect and squared, as if he could feel her eyes on him.
Staring at him as he walked in front of her, Ginny felt all of her anguish turning into a boiling rage.
How dare he ignore me after what he did! How dare he pretend it never happened and pretend that I don't exist!
Ginny's fists were clenched tightly as they strode into King's Cross Station, heading for Platform 9 3/4. There were far fewer parents saying goodbye to their children on the platform, Ginny noticed at a glance as Malfoy rolled her trunk to a stop near the train. She stopped behind him.
"We're here," he said, turning to her.
"OH, NOW YOU'LL TALK TO ME? NOW? AMAZING! I THOUGHT PERHAPS I'D BECOME INVISIBLE! SO VERY KIND OF YOU TO ACKNOWLEDGE MY EXISTENCE! WHAT WONDERFUL CONDESCENSION!" she exploded at him.
People around them turned to stare.
"Have a nice term, Weasley," Malfoy said flatly.
"I HOPE YOU ROT!" Ginny shouted in reply before hurling herself onto the train, her trunk in tow. She stormed down the aisle and banged her way into a compartment, flopping onto a seat and glaring out the window at the platform. To her surprise, Malfoy was still standing where she had left him, a look of surprise on his face. She watched as he shrugged his shoulders and walked away.
Leaning back in her seat, Ginny realized she hadn't said any of the things she'd really wanted to. She wanted to tell him that he had crushed her, that he had made her love him as part of some sick game, but that her love was real anyway and it wasn't going away - no matter how hard she tried to make it. She wanted to ask him why. Why her? Hadn't she been kind to him? When she had walked in on him in the bathroom last spring, she had been nice. Harry, on the other hand, had almost killed him. Was Malfoy only trying to get at Harry through her? If so, why hadn't he rubbed Harry's face in it?
Ginny sighed. None of it mattered anyway. And even if she hadn't said the right things, at least she'd said something. And yelling at him felt good. Having the last word felt very good. Ginny felt almost strong again.
I can conquer this, she thought. I will be free of him.
-----
It was a crisp, sunny, fall day, perfect for the trip to Hogsmeade, and Ginny chatted animatedly with Luna and Neville as they walked into the village. The two had become her closest friends over the past couple of months, partly because so few students had returned to Hogwarts this year. Ginny also realized that she really loved spending time with them. Between Luna's bizarre proclamations and Neville's klutzy kindheartedness, Ginny had found a sanctuary from her troubles, and it didn't take too many days in their company before she found herself laughing and enjoying life again.
"Oh, Scrivenshaft's!" Luna exclaimed as they approached the shop. "I'm going to check in here for a swan's feather quill. The swan is known to be an excellent conduit of logical thought."
Ginny snorted. "I'm not sure even a 'conduit of logical thought' is going to save your Arithmancy grade, Luna," she laughed.
"Well, it can't hurt," Luna sniffed before breaking into a smile herself.
"Uh, I'll help you look for one, Luna," Neville said, turning slightly pink.
Luna blinked at Neville absently and Ginny had to repress a fit of giggles.
"I'll go on to the Three Broomsticks, then. Shall I save you both a seat?"
"Yes, please do," replied Luna. "And tell Harry hello for us."
Ginny smiled and left her two friends. She didn't know what was more amusing: Neville's obvious crush on Luna, or Luna's apparent obliviousness to it.
They'll make a cute couple, though, she thought.
She was still smiling when she strode into sight of the Three Broomsticks, where a familiar figure with dark, messy hair was pacing in random circles in front of the entrance.
"Harry!" Ginny shouted, running forward to greet her boyfriend.
"Hi, Gin," he replied brightly, catching her up in a bear hug. "You look great!"
"Thanks." Ginny frowned. "I think I've put on weight since this summer, though."
"That's probably a good thing," Harry replied, eyeing Ginny critically. "You didn't seem to be eating much this summer, you know."
Ginny shook her head dismissively and led the way inside. The two found a table near the bar, and Harry went to order them butterbeers. Ginny smiled as she watched Harry. She hadn't seen him since the summer, but they had written back and forth frequently. Seeing him in person was wonderful. He looked thinner than when she had last seen him, and there were lines of worry on his face Ginny hadn't noticed before. From his letters, Ginny gathered that the search for the horcruxes was not going well.
"Here we are," Harry said, setting two mugs down in front of them. "So how's school? Did you do well on that Potions essay you were telling me about?"
"I did. Slughorn gave me an O on it, and said it 'reminded him of a bright young witch he taught long ago' - you know, typical Slug stuff."
Harry laughed. "Yeah, that does sound like him. It's good to know some things don’t change around here."
"And how about you? Any luck yet?"
"Well, you know I can't really talk about it," - Harry glanced around the room warily - "but it looks like we've got a strong lead."
"Harry, that's great news!"
Harry smiled. "Yeah. But I didn't come to talk about that stuff. I want to hear more about school, and how you're doing. I've really missed you, Gin." He reached across the table and squeezed Ginny's hand. She smiled at him and squeezed back.
This is perfect, she thought to herself contentedly. Spending an afternoon with a boyfriend who really loves me and who really deserves to be loved. Harry's so nice, and so good - I'm lucky to be with him. And it feels so normal spending time with him. Like being with family.
The two chatted about school stuff and Ginny filled him in on the budding romance between Luna and Neville, which Harry found hilarious.
"Imagine their children!" he laughed.
They were wiping tears from their eyes and trying to catch their breath when Luna and Neville found them.
"What's so funny?" asked Neville with a smile.
"Oh, nothing, Nev. Just caught a case of the giggles," Ginny replied as her friends took seats at the table.
"That sounds bad," said Luna. "You should eat peas with dinner tonight. They're supposed to help with humor related maladies."
Harry and Ginny both started giggling again and Luna shook her head sadly at them.
"A serious case," she whispered to Neville.
"Oh, but anyway," Harry said, choking off his laughter. "Ginny tells me there's going to be a Halloween ball this year?"
Neville nodded. "McGonagall says it's to boost school morale. We're all supposed to wear costumes."
"I'm going as a Spatterhorned Snackniffler," Luna declared matter-of-factly. No one dared ask her what that was.
"I don't think I'm going to go," Ginny sighed. "I'll just be standing around the punchbowl all night."
"Gin, you should go! You'll have fun," Harry replied.
"I don't know. There won't be anyone for me to dance with," she said.
"Well, you never know. There might be someone for you to dance with," Harry said with a cryptic expression on his face. Ginny raised an eyebrow at him.
"If I go, what should I dress as? I'm not good at costumes."
"Hmm, you'd look cute as pixie," Harry grinned. "Promise me you'll go."
"All right, I'll go. But I better have a good time, or I'm blaming you," Ginny replied playfully.
"It's a deal."
-----
"Are my wings straight? They feel crooked," Ginny said, trying to peer over her shoulder.
"They're fine. Stop fiddling with them," Luna replied.
The two were finishing their toiletries in preparation for the Halloween Ball. Luna, her hair charmed to stand in a stiff mohawk, was wearing a mottled robe of orange and purple with matching gloves. She sported a slightly transfigured tube sock on her nose which was supposed to represent the long snout of the Spatterhorned Snackniffler.
"Your snout still looks like a sock," Ginny told her.
"It's supposed to. In all the sightings of the elusive Spatterhorned Snackniffler, the witnesses have described its nose as 'sock-like.'"
"Oh." Ginny returned to eyeing herself in the mirror. The electric-blue glitter dusted across her cheeks and bare arms sparkled in the candlelight, and her form-fitting strapless blue gown had a full skirt that Ginny enjoyed twirling around in. Her bright blue translucent wings were charmed to flutter at random intervals and she kept getting chills when she felt the rush of air on her back. She wore her hair down in big, fat ringlets, which even she had to admit looked pretty, and Luna had affixed little blue lights throughout her deep red locks.
"Whoa, you both look great," Neville said in greeting when they met him in front of the marble staircase near the Great Hall. He was dressed in a full suit of armor, which he seemed to be having difficulty maneuvering around in. His visor snapped shut with a bang, and he pushed it back up, grinning sheepishly.
"Nice costume, Nev," Ginny said, smiling.
"Thanks," he replied, and then clearing his throat he said, "Allow me to escort you fair maidens into the ball." He offered each of them an arm.
"Oh, are we getting into character, then?" asked Luna brightly. "In that case . . . bring me candy or I shall eat you," she intoned ominously.
Neville and Ginny both started laughing.
"What? The Snackniffler is a very dangerous beast, only soothed with the sweetness of candy."
"You better bring her to the concession table, Neville," Ginny chortled. As her friends went in search of refreshment, Ginny marveled at the decorations in the Great Hall. The ceiling twinkled with stars, barely visible through the glow of thousands of candles floating high above her head. The entire hall was cast in a subdued light, but Ginny could still make out the giant pumpkins scattered along the walls, and what looked like bats swooping through the candles.
The room was filled with students in all sorts of fantastical costumes. There were dragons and vampires, professional quidditch players and bejeweled princesses. Ginny barely recognized Kevin when he hurried over to her, looking exactly like a miniature Peruvian Vipertooth, smoking snout and all.
"Wow, Kevin," she exclaimed, "Cool costume!"
"Thanks," he grinned. "You look really pretty."
"Well, thanks."
"Have you seen Lizzie anywhere? I seem to have lost her."
"I don't think so. What's she dressed as?"
"A giant pumpkin. With all these real pumpkins around, I don't know where to look." Kevin glanced around the Great Hall despairingly.
"I'll keep an eye out for her," Ginny said.
"Thanks, Ginny. I've got to get back to my date. Just wanted to say hello." Kevin hurried over to a second-year Hufflepuff dressed like a big, pink bunny. The girl was glaring at Ginny jealously. Ginny laughed. Just then, the orchestra began a slow, mournful waltz, in keeping with the occasion. Couples formed in the middle of the floor and twirled in time to the eerie music.
Ginny sighed and looked around her. No sign of Harry yet, but she was sure he was coming. He had as good as told her so when he visited her for the Hogsmeade weekend.
Suddenly, a hand was on her shoulder. Ginny whirled around and came face to face with a tall figure, robed in black from head to foot and wearing a jeweled mask shaped like the head of a falcon, with black and brown feathers around the eyes, and a short, intimidating beak. The figure's mask covered his face from the forehead to right below his nose, leaving his mouth visible. In the low light of the Great Hall, Ginny could not see the figure's eyes, but his lips were set firmly. The jewels on his mask glinted as he turned from her to beckon toward the dance floor with one gloved hand. The other hand rested on the small of her back and gently pushed her forward.
"Um, okay," Ginny said, feeling nervous in the presence of the masked figure. She knew it was Harry - it had to be, but his silence, and the rather scary costume he'd chosen unnerved her.
Reaching a spot near the center of the floor, the figure turned to Ginny and caught her hand in one of his, leading her in the steps of the waltz. The two moved silently in time to the stately music, and Ginny felt herself relaxing in the arms of her partner. His gloved hand resting on the small of her back was soothingly warm and his steady gaze sent a thrill through her. Ginny marveled at how attracted she felt to Harry, a sensation that had long been missing in their relationship.
She took a step closer to him and rested her head against his chest. She could feel the firm muscles beneath his robes tense at her touch.
“I love you,” she murmured, saying the words she had avoided with Harry for so long, and finally feeling like she really meant it.
Harry didn't respond. Instead, he used one gloved hand to tilt her head back so that she was looking directly at his jeweled mask and his red, inviting lips. Slowly, he brought them down on hers, burning her with a soft kiss.
When the kiss ended, Ginny realized they were standing still, surrounded by waltzing couples. She brushed her fingers across her lips, where she could still feel the heat Harry had left there.
"I'm glad you came, Harry," she whispered to her partner. He stiffened suddenly, but then nodded his head once. Taking her hand he led her off the dance floor toward a group of large pumpkins.
"Ginny!" one of the pumpkins exclaimed, and Ginny realized that Lizzie's orange-painted face was protruding from the body of what she had assumed was only a vegetable.
"Hey," she replied with a laugh. "I didn't recognize you." Still smiling, she turned back to Harry only to find he wasn't behind her. Ginny glanced around quickly but didn't see him anywhere.
He's being awfully mysterious tonight. Maybe he went to get drinks.
Ginny chatted with Lizzie for a while, and then Luna and Neville wandered over.
"Have either of you seen Harry?"
Both shook their heads.
"Hey, who were you dancing with?" asked Neville.
"That was Harry."
"Oh. He never even said hello," Neville frowned.
"I liked his costume," said Luna.
-----
Luna found Ginny in the Gryffindor girl's dormitory after breakfast the next day, crying into her pillow.
"Hey, what's wrong? I thought we were going for a walk around the lake," she said, sitting on the bed beside her distraught friend. Ginny had been perfectly all right at breakfast, even excited about receiving an owl from Harry, which she had run off to read.
"Did you get bad news?" Luna asked, and the messy red-haired blob in front of her nodded vigorously, holding out a single sheet of parchment.
Luna took it and read aloud:
Dear Ginny,
Great news! Last night we had a success with that thing we were talking about recently. Now, don't get upset, but Ron was slightly injured - just some burns on his arms. He's at St. Mungo's now, and we're told he'll be out in a day or two. He's really playing it up though, so if you'd like to send him some get well candy, I'm sure it would make him very happy.
I'm very sorry I didn't come to the dance at Hogwarts last night. I know I all but promised I'd be there. I'm sure you understand why though, and I hope you aren't upset. I bet you had a great time without me, anyway. I'm sad I didn't get to see you in your costume, or show you mine. I was going to be a cowboy - everyone said I looked great. Well, except Malfoy, but who cares what that rotter thinks anyway, right?
Take care,
Harry
"Wait," Luna said, confusion all over her face. "If Harry didn't come to the Halloween Ball, who were you dancing with?"
Ginny pulled the pillow more tightly around her head and sobbed even louder.
Chapter 8 - Masks
The summer had not been an easy one so far, Hermione thought. Ginny was taken right out from under almost the entire Order's collective nose, and after a week of searching, everyone believed her to be dead. Hermione had held Ron in her arms as he cried, wisely not offering words of consolation, knowing that nothing she could say would be adequate. She held him, she rubbed his back and stroked his hair, she forgot her own grief in the face of his. And a part of her was simply grateful that he chose to come to her, that he chose to show her so much vulnerability. She tried to be his strength.
On the tenth day after Ginny disappeared, Bill and Fleur were married in the parlor of Grimmauld Place. Mrs. Weasley had insisted that the wedding go on - Ginny would have wanted us all to be happy, she said. The wedding carried all the sadness, all the ache of loss of a funeral. The absences of Ginny and Dumbledore hung in the air like a fog, heavy and oppressive. Hermione shuddered at the thought of the forced smiles on everyone's faces all day, of the simple toast Mr. Weasley gave at the subdued dinner that evening - his voice had cracked as he spoke of gaining a daughter, and Mrs. Weasley let big, fat tears run down her cheeks. It was awful.
Ginny had come back, like a miracle, and Hermione thanked whatever mystery of fate had made it so. Everything should have been better, everyone should have been happy once again.
But it was not so, and Hermione was worried. There was the constant tension between Ron, Harry and Malfoy. They were like vicious dogs circling one another before a fight, glaring and snarling, every muscle poised to spring. Hermione found herself ruefully wishing for the old days when Malfoy would say something nasty, Harry and Ron would return in kind, and everyone would go about their business. Now, without even a word being spoken, the hostility had increased ten-fold. When the three of them were in a room together, Harry stared at Malfoy unabashedly, hatred in his eyes. And Malfoy, though most of the time appearing entirely unconcerned and almost oblivious to Harry's presence, would shoot him looks now and then that chilled Hermione's blood.
Added to this was the difficulty the Order was having trying to track down the remaining horcruxes. Hermione's eyes felt constantly strained with the effort of reading all day, week in and week out. Her bedroom was buried under a stack of books, some brought from the library at Hogwarts by Professor McGonagall, some borrowed from the Ministry Library, some taken (Hermione didn't question how) from private collections. And somewhere in all of these books, Hermione was hoping to find the paper trails that would lead to the horcruxes. She had stumbled on clues - the mention of an antique bronze paperweight in the shape of an eagle, Rowena Ravenclaw's own crest, sent the group on a weeklong hunt through old storage vaults in Hogwarts, but nothing turned up. The paperweight was a good candidate for being a horcrux, but Hermione was having no luck tracing its whereabouts.
All of these were enough to leave Hermione feeling constantly ill at ease, but her greatest source of worry was Ginny. Ginny had returned with smiles and tears for everyone, bubbling with excitement and full of energy. But only a few hours after her return, Hermione noticed that Ginny seemed withdrawn and quiet. She had a vacant, haunted look in her deep brown eyes. The first couple of days after Ginny's return, Hermione had held her tongue, watching Ginny in silent sympathy, waiting to see if her usually happy friend would snap out of it. But Ginny remained almost mute, barely eating at meals and then returning to her room, never participating in the lively discussions taking place around her at the table, never even giving an indication that she heard them.
Finally, Hermione spoke of her fears to Harry and Ron.
"I think something's wrong with Ginny," she told them quietly.
"What do you mean?" asked Ron, looking up in alarm from the game of wizard's chess he was playing.
"Haven't you noticed how quiet she's been since she came back? And she doesn't eat very much."
"I've noticed," Harry said, nodding. "But, Hermione, think of all she's gone through in the last month. I think it weighs on her. And I know it was horrible having to travel all that way with Malfoy. He really got under her skin, I think. Probably verbally abused her the entire way. I've noticed that she seems more upset when he's around, the slimy git. If I had my way, he'd be locked up in Azkaban right now, serving a life sentence. That's more than he deserves."
"I know Ginny's been through a lot, but she's never been one to mope around like this," Hermione replied skeptically.
"Trust me, Hermione, when she and I are alone, she's perfectly fine. Maybe she's just getting adjusted to being around so many people again." Ron nodded his agreement with Harry's statement, and the two went back to their game. Hermione, still unconvinced, sighed and left.
Ginny was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling, when there was a knock at the door.
"Come in," she sighed, not moving.
"Hi, Ginny," said Hermione, a bit hesitantly. "I just thought I'd see how you were doing. You've been a bit quiet lately. I was wondering if anything was wrong."
Ginny turned her head and contemplated her friend for a moment before returning her gaze to the ceiling.
"No, nothing's wrong. I'm just tired."
"Oh." A pause. "Well, if you do need to talk about anything, you know I'm here, right?"
"I know, Hermione. Thanks. But I'd like to rest now, if you don't mind."
"Sure, Ginny," Hermione said softly. "I guess I'll see you at dinner then."
"Yes, see you then." And Ginny remained motionless until the door clicked faintly with Hermione's withdrawal from the room. Sighing deeply, she rolled away from the door, curling her knees up to her chest as she faced the window. Sunlight filtered through the age-clouded glass, lighting up a track of dust specks which slowly floated in the golden haze.
Nothing really was wrong, Ginny thought to herself. She was surrounded by her family, she had the boyfriend of her dreams - what did she have to complain about? Really, if anything at all was wrong, it was that she was terribly stupid, and Hermione couldn't help her with that. She was stupid for putting her trust in Draco (Malfoy, Ginny - his name is Malfoy!), stupid for being so easily fooled by him.
But that's me! Always making the wrong decision. First it was Tom, now Drac- Malfoy, damn it! How could I fall in love with him? He must have been laughing at me the entire time. A hard lump rose in her throat at the thought. Stop it, Ginny. No more crying about him. He's not worth it, and you owe it to Harry to get over him!
That might have been the worst of it - the fact that her heart stubbornly refused to let her go back to the way she used to feel about Harry. Little things about him kept annoying her, like the sloppiness of his kisses, or his awkward fumbling with her bra, or even the goofy smile he'd get after a snog session. Ginny couldn't remember ever noticing those things before, and wondered what had changed.
When she was with Harry, she tried to be cheerful, tried to seem interested while he rattled on about Order business. And whatever he wanted to do with her physically, she passively allowed, not that he really tried to go very far. He deserved that much, at least. After all, none of it was new to her anymore, and that was nobody's fault but her own.
Mrs. Weasley had informed her daughter earlier in the week that she would be returning to Hogwarts for her sixth year. Harry, Ron and Hermione would stay at headquarters, continuing their search for the horcruxes and preparing for the imminent battle with Voldemort. Professor McGonagall had dropped off all of the textbooks the three would need to study for N.E.W.T.s, and Lupin was going to tutor them in their free time. Malfoy would be remaining at Grimmauld Place as well, partly because even Hogwarts would be a dangerous place for him, and partly because he was aiding the others in their search. The older members of the order - Mad-Eye, Lupin, and Mr. Weasley - trusted Malfoy, and felt confident that he could help make a difference in the war effort. In fact, Malfoy had proven himself useful to the Order already, detailing to the best of his ability what he knew about the Death Eaters, and drawing a map of hidden rooms in Malfoy Manor which the Ministry used to confiscate a number of dark artifacts from the estate. Malfoy had even won over Mrs. Weasley and Fleur with his smooth charm. Both women thought he was such a gentleman, always so polite and considerate.
This made dinner even harder for Ginny. Malfoy conversed civilly and even thoughtfully with Lupin, Mad-Eye, her parents, Tonks, and the other random members of the Order who dropped in on occasion. He was polite to Hermione, calling her "Granger" rather than "mudblood," and passed up opportunities to ridicule her. Harry, he avoided talking to, and by extension he avoided Ron as well, but when forced to, he was perfectly civil to the boys. Often, Ginny saw him give Harry looks that were full of barely concealed rage, but she supposed that old rivalries died hard. Ginny alone was excluded from Malfoy's attention. When his eyes slid over her, it seemed like he was looking right through her. He never addressed her, never acknowledged that she existed. The few times that she participated in the conversation, he was careful not to. She ran into him on the stairs once, and he had stopped and stood aside, staring at the wall blankly until she passed him. The action had hurt her so much she had collapsed into sobs the moment she closed her door behind her.
It was somehow more painful to her that he ignored her completely. She thought she might have been able to stand it if he had mocked her, or even if he had told Harry what happened. At least then she could have hated him and she could have retaliated. But he held his silence, and Ginny felt like she had been wiped out of existence when they were in the same room together. He had smiles for her mother and Fleur, and each one burned right through her.
Yes, Ginny thought, I'm glad I'm going back to Hogwarts. I need to get away from him. Maybe then I'll get my sanity back.
"Ginny, hurry up or you'll miss the train!" Mrs. Weasley called up the stairs.
Ginny sat motionless on the bed, her packed trunk standing in front of her.
This is it, then, she thought, playing with her hands in her lap. She had longed for this day to come for weeks. No more trying to mask all the hurt inside, no more pretending to be happy around Harry, no more dealing with Hermione's anxious glances.
No more feeling like something's dying inside me every time I have to look at Draco.
With a sigh, Ginny slowly stood up and began to drag her trunk downstairs. Mrs. Weasley waved her arms fretfully when Ginny reached the entrance hall.
"Finally!" she exclaimed. "Draco, Ginny's ready to go!" Malfoy strode into view from one of the adjoining rooms. Mrs. Weasley beamed at him. "Ginny, Draco is going to escort you to the station. Harry would have liked to, but he, Ron, and Hermione had to leave early this morning on urgent business for the Order. He asked me to tell you he'd write soon."
Ginny glared balefully at Malfoy.
"Can't I just go to the station by myself? I'm not a little girl, you know."
"Don't be silly. I'm not letting you go anywhere by yourself ever again. Or at least not until you’re thirty - or forty. Now shoo! Walk quickly! Don't talk to strangers!"
Without looking at her, Malfoy took Ginny's trunk and rolled it out the front door of Grimmauld Place. Ginny had no choice but to follow. He set a quick pace and didn't look back to see if she was keeping up. Scowling, Ginny walked as fast as she could and managed to get within a few feet of him, but she hung back, deciding she'd rather glare at his back than walk at his side. She noticed that he held himself stiffly, his shoulders erect and squared, as if he could feel her eyes on him.
Staring at him as he walked in front of her, Ginny felt all of her anguish turning into a boiling rage.
How dare he ignore me after what he did! How dare he pretend it never happened and pretend that I don't exist!
Ginny's fists were clenched tightly as they strode into King's Cross Station, heading for Platform 9 3/4. There were far fewer parents saying goodbye to their children on the platform, Ginny noticed at a glance as Malfoy rolled her trunk to a stop near the train. She stopped behind him.
"We're here," he said, turning to her.
"OH, NOW YOU'LL TALK TO ME? NOW? AMAZING! I THOUGHT PERHAPS I'D BECOME INVISIBLE! SO VERY KIND OF YOU TO ACKNOWLEDGE MY EXISTENCE! WHAT WONDERFUL CONDESCENSION!" she exploded at him.
People around them turned to stare.
"Have a nice term, Weasley," Malfoy said flatly.
"I HOPE YOU ROT!" Ginny shouted in reply before hurling herself onto the train, her trunk in tow. She stormed down the aisle and banged her way into a compartment, flopping onto a seat and glaring out the window at the platform. To her surprise, Malfoy was still standing where she had left him, a look of surprise on his face. She watched as he shrugged his shoulders and walked away.
Leaning back in her seat, Ginny realized she hadn't said any of the things she'd really wanted to. She wanted to tell him that he had crushed her, that he had made her love him as part of some sick game, but that her love was real anyway and it wasn't going away - no matter how hard she tried to make it. She wanted to ask him why. Why her? Hadn't she been kind to him? When she had walked in on him in the bathroom last spring, she had been nice. Harry, on the other hand, had almost killed him. Was Malfoy only trying to get at Harry through her? If so, why hadn't he rubbed Harry's face in it?
Ginny sighed. None of it mattered anyway. And even if she hadn't said the right things, at least she'd said something. And yelling at him felt good. Having the last word felt very good. Ginny felt almost strong again.
I can conquer this, she thought. I will be free of him.
It was a crisp, sunny, fall day, perfect for the trip to Hogsmeade, and Ginny chatted animatedly with Luna and Neville as they walked into the village. The two had become her closest friends over the past couple of months, partly because so few students had returned to Hogwarts this year. Ginny also realized that she really loved spending time with them. Between Luna's bizarre proclamations and Neville's klutzy kindheartedness, Ginny had found a sanctuary from her troubles, and it didn't take too many days in their company before she found herself laughing and enjoying life again.
"Oh, Scrivenshaft's!" Luna exclaimed as they approached the shop. "I'm going to check in here for a swan's feather quill. The swan is known to be an excellent conduit of logical thought."
Ginny snorted. "I'm not sure even a 'conduit of logical thought' is going to save your Arithmancy grade, Luna," she laughed.
"Well, it can't hurt," Luna sniffed before breaking into a smile herself.
"Uh, I'll help you look for one, Luna," Neville said, turning slightly pink.
Luna blinked at Neville absently and Ginny had to repress a fit of giggles.
"I'll go on to the Three Broomsticks, then. Shall I save you both a seat?"
"Yes, please do," replied Luna. "And tell Harry hello for us."
Ginny smiled and left her two friends. She didn't know what was more amusing: Neville's obvious crush on Luna, or Luna's apparent obliviousness to it.
They'll make a cute couple, though, she thought.
She was still smiling when she strode into sight of the Three Broomsticks, where a familiar figure with dark, messy hair was pacing in random circles in front of the entrance.
"Harry!" Ginny shouted, running forward to greet her boyfriend.
"Hi, Gin," he replied brightly, catching her up in a bear hug. "You look great!"
"Thanks." Ginny frowned. "I think I've put on weight since this summer, though."
"That's probably a good thing," Harry replied, eyeing Ginny critically. "You didn't seem to be eating much this summer, you know."
Ginny shook her head dismissively and led the way inside. The two found a table near the bar, and Harry went to order them butterbeers. Ginny smiled as she watched Harry. She hadn't seen him since the summer, but they had written back and forth frequently. Seeing him in person was wonderful. He looked thinner than when she had last seen him, and there were lines of worry on his face Ginny hadn't noticed before. From his letters, Ginny gathered that the search for the horcruxes was not going well.
"Here we are," Harry said, setting two mugs down in front of them. "So how's school? Did you do well on that Potions essay you were telling me about?"
"I did. Slughorn gave me an O on it, and said it 'reminded him of a bright young witch he taught long ago' - you know, typical Slug stuff."
Harry laughed. "Yeah, that does sound like him. It's good to know some things don’t change around here."
"And how about you? Any luck yet?"
"Well, you know I can't really talk about it," - Harry glanced around the room warily - "but it looks like we've got a strong lead."
"Harry, that's great news!"
Harry smiled. "Yeah. But I didn't come to talk about that stuff. I want to hear more about school, and how you're doing. I've really missed you, Gin." He reached across the table and squeezed Ginny's hand. She smiled at him and squeezed back.
This is perfect, she thought to herself contentedly. Spending an afternoon with a boyfriend who really loves me and who really deserves to be loved. Harry's so nice, and so good - I'm lucky to be with him. And it feels so normal spending time with him. Like being with family.
The two chatted about school stuff and Ginny filled him in on the budding romance between Luna and Neville, which Harry found hilarious.
"Imagine their children!" he laughed.
They were wiping tears from their eyes and trying to catch their breath when Luna and Neville found them.
"What's so funny?" asked Neville with a smile.
"Oh, nothing, Nev. Just caught a case of the giggles," Ginny replied as her friends took seats at the table.
"That sounds bad," said Luna. "You should eat peas with dinner tonight. They're supposed to help with humor related maladies."
Harry and Ginny both started giggling again and Luna shook her head sadly at them.
"A serious case," she whispered to Neville.
"Oh, but anyway," Harry said, choking off his laughter. "Ginny tells me there's going to be a Halloween ball this year?"
Neville nodded. "McGonagall says it's to boost school morale. We're all supposed to wear costumes."
"I'm going as a Spatterhorned Snackniffler," Luna declared matter-of-factly. No one dared ask her what that was.
"I don't think I'm going to go," Ginny sighed. "I'll just be standing around the punchbowl all night."
"Gin, you should go! You'll have fun," Harry replied.
"I don't know. There won't be anyone for me to dance with," she said.
"Well, you never know. There might be someone for you to dance with," Harry said with a cryptic expression on his face. Ginny raised an eyebrow at him.
"If I go, what should I dress as? I'm not good at costumes."
"Hmm, you'd look cute as pixie," Harry grinned. "Promise me you'll go."
"All right, I'll go. But I better have a good time, or I'm blaming you," Ginny replied playfully.
"It's a deal."
"Are my wings straight? They feel crooked," Ginny said, trying to peer over her shoulder.
"They're fine. Stop fiddling with them," Luna replied.
The two were finishing their toiletries in preparation for the Halloween Ball. Luna, her hair charmed to stand in a stiff mohawk, was wearing a mottled robe of orange and purple with matching gloves. She sported a slightly transfigured tube sock on her nose which was supposed to represent the long snout of the Spatterhorned Snackniffler.
"Your snout still looks like a sock," Ginny told her.
"It's supposed to. In all the sightings of the elusive Spatterhorned Snackniffler, the witnesses have described its nose as 'sock-like.'"
"Oh." Ginny returned to eyeing herself in the mirror. The electric-blue glitter dusted across her cheeks and bare arms sparkled in the candlelight, and her form-fitting strapless blue gown had a full skirt that Ginny enjoyed twirling around in. Her bright blue translucent wings were charmed to flutter at random intervals and she kept getting chills when she felt the rush of air on her back. She wore her hair down in big, fat ringlets, which even she had to admit looked pretty, and Luna had affixed little blue lights throughout her deep red locks.
"Whoa, you both look great," Neville said in greeting when they met him in front of the marble staircase near the Great Hall. He was dressed in a full suit of armor, which he seemed to be having difficulty maneuvering around in. His visor snapped shut with a bang, and he pushed it back up, grinning sheepishly.
"Nice costume, Nev," Ginny said, smiling.
"Thanks," he replied, and then clearing his throat he said, "Allow me to escort you fair maidens into the ball." He offered each of them an arm.
"Oh, are we getting into character, then?" asked Luna brightly. "In that case . . . bring me candy or I shall eat you," she intoned ominously.
Neville and Ginny both started laughing.
"What? The Snackniffler is a very dangerous beast, only soothed with the sweetness of candy."
"You better bring her to the concession table, Neville," Ginny chortled. As her friends went in search of refreshment, Ginny marveled at the decorations in the Great Hall. The ceiling twinkled with stars, barely visible through the glow of thousands of candles floating high above her head. The entire hall was cast in a subdued light, but Ginny could still make out the giant pumpkins scattered along the walls, and what looked like bats swooping through the candles.
The room was filled with students in all sorts of fantastical costumes. There were dragons and vampires, professional quidditch players and bejeweled princesses. Ginny barely recognized Kevin when he hurried over to her, looking exactly like a miniature Peruvian Vipertooth, smoking snout and all.
"Wow, Kevin," she exclaimed, "Cool costume!"
"Thanks," he grinned. "You look really pretty."
"Well, thanks."
"Have you seen Lizzie anywhere? I seem to have lost her."
"I don't think so. What's she dressed as?"
"A giant pumpkin. With all these real pumpkins around, I don't know where to look." Kevin glanced around the Great Hall despairingly.
"I'll keep an eye out for her," Ginny said.
"Thanks, Ginny. I've got to get back to my date. Just wanted to say hello." Kevin hurried over to a second-year Hufflepuff dressed like a big, pink bunny. The girl was glaring at Ginny jealously. Ginny laughed. Just then, the orchestra began a slow, mournful waltz, in keeping with the occasion. Couples formed in the middle of the floor and twirled in time to the eerie music.
Ginny sighed and looked around her. No sign of Harry yet, but she was sure he was coming. He had as good as told her so when he visited her for the Hogsmeade weekend.
Suddenly, a hand was on her shoulder. Ginny whirled around and came face to face with a tall figure, robed in black from head to foot and wearing a jeweled mask shaped like the head of a falcon, with black and brown feathers around the eyes, and a short, intimidating beak. The figure's mask covered his face from the forehead to right below his nose, leaving his mouth visible. In the low light of the Great Hall, Ginny could not see the figure's eyes, but his lips were set firmly. The jewels on his mask glinted as he turned from her to beckon toward the dance floor with one gloved hand. The other hand rested on the small of her back and gently pushed her forward.
"Um, okay," Ginny said, feeling nervous in the presence of the masked figure. She knew it was Harry - it had to be, but his silence, and the rather scary costume he'd chosen unnerved her.
Reaching a spot near the center of the floor, the figure turned to Ginny and caught her hand in one of his, leading her in the steps of the waltz. The two moved silently in time to the stately music, and Ginny felt herself relaxing in the arms of her partner. His gloved hand resting on the small of her back was soothingly warm and his steady gaze sent a thrill through her. Ginny marveled at how attracted she felt to Harry, a sensation that had long been missing in their relationship.
She took a step closer to him and rested her head against his chest. She could feel the firm muscles beneath his robes tense at her touch.
“I love you,” she murmured, saying the words she had avoided with Harry for so long, and finally feeling like she really meant it.
Harry didn't respond. Instead, he used one gloved hand to tilt her head back so that she was looking directly at his jeweled mask and his red, inviting lips. Slowly, he brought them down on hers, burning her with a soft kiss.
When the kiss ended, Ginny realized they were standing still, surrounded by waltzing couples. She brushed her fingers across her lips, where she could still feel the heat Harry had left there.
"I'm glad you came, Harry," she whispered to her partner. He stiffened suddenly, but then nodded his head once. Taking her hand he led her off the dance floor toward a group of large pumpkins.
"Ginny!" one of the pumpkins exclaimed, and Ginny realized that Lizzie's orange-painted face was protruding from the body of what she had assumed was only a vegetable.
"Hey," she replied with a laugh. "I didn't recognize you." Still smiling, she turned back to Harry only to find he wasn't behind her. Ginny glanced around quickly but didn't see him anywhere.
He's being awfully mysterious tonight. Maybe he went to get drinks.
Ginny chatted with Lizzie for a while, and then Luna and Neville wandered over.
"Have either of you seen Harry?"
Both shook their heads.
"Hey, who were you dancing with?" asked Neville.
"That was Harry."
"Oh. He never even said hello," Neville frowned.
"I liked his costume," said Luna.
Luna found Ginny in the Gryffindor girl's dormitory after breakfast the next day, crying into her pillow.
"Hey, what's wrong? I thought we were going for a walk around the lake," she said, sitting on the bed beside her distraught friend. Ginny had been perfectly all right at breakfast, even excited about receiving an owl from Harry, which she had run off to read.
"Did you get bad news?" Luna asked, and the messy red-haired blob in front of her nodded vigorously, holding out a single sheet of parchment.
Luna took it and read aloud:
Dear Ginny,
Great news! Last night we had a success with that thing we were talking about recently. Now, don't get upset, but Ron was slightly injured - just some burns on his arms. He's at St. Mungo's now, and we're told he'll be out in a day or two. He's really playing it up though, so if you'd like to send him some get well candy, I'm sure it would make him very happy.
I'm very sorry I didn't come to the dance at Hogwarts last night. I know I all but promised I'd be there. I'm sure you understand why though, and I hope you aren't upset. I bet you had a great time without me, anyway. I'm sad I didn't get to see you in your costume, or show you mine. I was going to be a cowboy - everyone said I looked great. Well, except Malfoy, but who cares what that rotter thinks anyway, right?
Take care,
Harry
"Wait," Luna said, confusion all over her face. "If Harry didn't come to the Halloween Ball, who were you dancing with?"
Ginny pulled the pillow more tightly around her head and sobbed even louder.
Leave a Review