DISCLAIMER: It’s JK Rowling and a bunch of corporations’. I’m stealing. It’s early. See the other disclaimers for more sense.
NOTES: Thanks to all my reviewers! I did one of those things where I answer questions but I lost it now. Such is life. And thanks to Tessie and Amy, my betas. Though Tessie says she couldn’t find anything wrong with this chapter, which I find hard to believe. On with the show!
Ginny sighed as she sank to the bed. The mattress was hard and uncomfortable as hotel mattresses tended to be. In spite of this, it felt good to finally sit down. This was the third hotel they had stayed in this week. She was weary from running and longed to have a real home she could go to, some place she could finally unpack all her things and know that they wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon. But the fear of an attack was constantly at the forefront of her mind. It hung over all of them like a bad stench. They had to keep moving.
It had been nearly a month since the last attack and there hadn’t been so much as a peep from the Death Eaters since. They had never gone so long without one. It made her jittery. Ginny half expected Voldemort himself to be waiting around every corner. It kept her from being able to relax and enjoy the simple moments with her daughter. And Ginny hated that. She hated allowing him to ruin the only joy she had in life.
“Are you all right, Mummy?” Cassie asked with big eyes as she climbed into her mother’s lap. Draco was inspecting her curiously too from the doorway where he was lugging their bags into the room.
“Yes, I’m fine,” she sighed tiredly. “I’m just sleepy,” she said to Cassie.
“Oh. That’s because it’s bedtime!” Cassie observed, as if this should have been as plain as the nose on her face. Ginny smiled at the girl. Sometimes it was hard to believe that she had been able to remain so innocent with all the turmoil swirling around her.
“Go get ready,” Ginny instructed, giving her a little push on the back. Cassie immediately jumped down and disappeared into the bathroom.
Draco was still staring at her with a concerned expression. He found her protesting completely unconvincing. Ginny hated that he was worrying about her. It still didn’t feel quite right. Perhaps it was because it was still a shock to see worry cross his pointed features. “I’m fine,” she said again.
Draco remained unconvinced. All he could think was, the lady doth protest too much.
“I just need a goodnight’s sleep,” she said, noting his distrustful gaze.
He didn’t know how she’d ever be able to get to sleep with so much on her mind, unless she had found the on/off switch to her brain. The fact that she slept with Cassie wouldn’t help much either. Cassie kicked like a football player. Ginny had the bruises to show for it. He looked at the other bed thoughtfully, running his fingers through his hair. He really would like help Ginny out. She was wearing herself too thin.
When Cassie emerged from the bathroom, he crouched down on one knee to whisper in her ear. “Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?” he asked quietly.
“Yeah!” she exclaimed brightly apparently not noticing that he was trying not to disturb Ginny. “Mummy!” she cried. “Can I sleep with Daddy tonight?” She looked up at her mother with hopeful eyes.
Draco was sure that even if Ginny was looking forward to spending the night getting whacked out of peaceful slumber she couldn’t have said no to that face. She was only human, after all. Ginny smiled serenely. “Sure.”
Cassie bounced onto the bed, making sure to take up as much space as possible. She looked around from her perch, as if it were an entirely different room when she was on Daddy’s side. Ginny and Draco exchanged knowing glances. Her eyes wearily thanked him for being so uncharacteristically considerate.
“You’re a cover hog,” Draco grumbled teasingly as he climbed into bed with his daughter. She had pulled all the blankets up around her so they resembled a nest around a baby bird.
Cassie poked her head out of the nest, which was surely bigger than her. “I am not,” she said indignantly. ‘Cover hog’ was possibly the meanest insult he could throw at her.
“Are too,” he sighed as he lay down and struggled in vain to get a blanket to shield his body from the cold.
“Am not!”
“Are too!”
A bubbly laughter lifted from the other side of the dark room. Draco could make out Ginny’s shaking form from underneath her warm(he thought jealously) blankets. Cassie turned to look at her mother, who was now laughing so hard she had to sit up or she might choke.
“Mummy’s laughing at you,” she said to Draco in a neener-neener-neener- type voice.
“Mummy’s laughing at you,” Draco shot back playfully.
Cassie gasped, horrified. She seemed to be searching for an appropriate, intelligent response. “Nuh-uh!” she cried.
“Yuh-huh...”
* * *
The morning came all too quickly. Draco felt as though he hadn’t slept at all, yet somehow it was time to wake up. He couldn’t figure it out. Cassie apparently lived in some parallel universe where you could get enough sleep in five minutes to be energized because she was up, bouncing around the room at ungodly hours. She’d bounce over to his sleeping spot to pull on his arm, shouting, “Come on, Daddy. Get up!” He’d grumble about her being the devil child and try to go back to sleep. Then a few minutes later, she’d come back and yell at him more impatiently.
“Can’t we just sleep in today?” he asked her finally, annoyed at being woken up for the billionth time.
She looked thoughtful, as if weighing the options. “No,” she said quickly and finally. “Today Mummy said we’d get me new shoes.” She held out her little feet, which did not have any shoes on them because she couldn’t tie them herself. She wiggled her toes for dramatic effect.
Draco looked over at the lump of blankets that was Ginny. She was apparently slumbering undisturbed. He grumbled inwardly wondering why he had to be tortured and Ginny got to stay in bed. He briefly entertained the idea of it being the universe’s idea of payback for the five years she had to raise Cassie alone but quickly shrugged it off. Maybe the universe was cruel, but Cassie didn’t think like that.
As if she were reading his thoughts, Cassie spoke up, in a chipper, well-rested voice. “Mummy’s sick,” she explained, “She can’t come.” Then she grinned, enjoying the idea of time alone with Daddy. She didn’t get to spend much time with him when her mummy wasn’t around. And now they could spend the whole day together.
That same thought occurred to Draco as well. It just didn’t have the same effect. He was rarely alone with Cassie. Ginny provided the much needed function of explaining Cassie’s baffling mannerisms. He wasn’t sure if he could do it alone. What if she said something and he didn’t know what she was talking about? Or something went wrong and he didn’t know how to handle it? So he did the only thing he could: panic.
“Are you sure you want to go shoe shopping without Mummy?” he asked, trying not to sound like he was begging her. It was best if he didn’t show fear. He just hoped she couldn’t smell it like a dog.
She bobbled her head up and down. “I need them. Mummy says I can’t walk around barefooted. I dunno why.” She crooked to the side (some people just did that with their head, Cassie used her whole body) and watched him as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and generally tried to wake himself up. “All right, Daddy?”
“Corking,” he muttered.
Cassie grinned widely, “’kay!” she exclaimed, not catching his heavy sarcasm.
Grudgingly, Draco rolled out of bed. Fatherhood wasn’t like Hogwarts. There, he could have Crabbe and Goyle tell Professor Sprout he was beside himself with despair over Cedric Diggory’s death and wouldn’t be making the early Herbology class or he could con Pansy Parkinson into giving him the notes. “Give me a minute, ok?” Cassie’s only response was to continue bouncing impatiently. “You know, they’ll still have shoes at noon,” he grumbled on his way to the bathroom, but she didn’t hear him.
He tried to think up excuses that would satisfy her. They ranged from: “Gee, don’t you think Mum will be sad if we go without her?” to “Bloody hell! I just don’t want to!” but none of them held any water. So before long he found himself exiting the hotel with his five-year-old holding his hand. She liked to jump in the lift, to the annoyance of the other people, because the floor came up to meet her. It made the well-bred part of him want to inch away and pretend he didn’t know her. But that nagging “father” part of him thought it was the cutest thing ever, so he smiled.
It was vital that he kept a close eye on her. Every now and again, she’d see something that she fancied and would want to wander off in it’s direction. These were usually perfectly ordinary things like leaves or people in funny hats. He couldn’t understand why she found them so fascinating. Whenever he saw she was about to drift he’d say, “Cassie, stay by me,” and she’d dutifully wrap both of her arms around his leg. This made it very hard to walk so it took an hour to make it to the store.
“Which way?” he asked her when they got to a fork in the road. Several Muggles behind him sighed exasperatedly when they saw that they were stopping again.
“That way,” Cassie pointed to her left. Draco didn’t know where the store was but Cassie seemed to, so he didn’t question her. He had learned not to do that by now.
“We’re almost there. You can let go of my trousers now,” he said, grinning, as they approached the location Cassie had pointed out.
She looked up at him with large eyes. She was silent for a moment, pretending to actually think it over then she shook her head, “nuh-uh.” He felt her arms get tighter around his leg as if she were afraid he was going to bolt. “I stay.”
He chuckled. “You’re annoying.”
She bounced happily. “That’s what Mummy says!” she proclaimed proudly. He wasn’t sure if she was proud for herself or for him. He got the feeling that it was the latter.
Suddenly, her eyes went all wide. “Oooh,” she cooed as if she had just beheld Elysium. He turned to see what it was she was looking at. It was just a plain, Muggle store. There wasn’t anything terribly exciting about it. He tried to see what Cassie was so interested in. Then it hit him: shoes.
“This is the store?” he asked with a gulp, even though he already knew the answer. Cassie bobbled her head.
It wasn’t that Draco was afraid to go into the Muggle store. He was just uncomfortable with it. For starters, he didn’t have any Muggle money. And he had never been in one. He had been near some when Ginny went in, but he always stayed outside. He had never been allowed around Muggles or Muggle items when he lived at Malfoy Mansion. There was still a lingering since of it being forbidden. Add to that the vague distaste he had for all Muggles coupled with the constant fear that he’d do something stupid in there and one could understand why Draco didn’t want to go in.
“You sure?” he asked. Again, Cassie bobbled her head, like one of those irritating sports dolls. He would’ve taken her away by now if it weren’t for the longing gaze she was giving a particularly tacky pair of pink sneakers.
He sighed and took a step forward. Oh, the things he did for his kid.
* * *
A few minutes later, they emerged from the store hand in hand and with identical grins of satisfaction on their faces. Draco was pleased that he had remembered the spell that transfigured galleons into Muggle money. He still didn’t know what all the paper bills meant, so he threw a bunch of them at the clerk and trusted him to make the right change. But other than that, he hadn’t done anything to make Cassie roll her eyes at him, a definite up side.
Another thing he couldn’t complain about was that Cassie was no longer attached to his leg. She was walking in wide, sweeping steps so he could get the best possible view of her new shoes. She had insisted on wearing them out of the store. Not that she needed any help seeing them; they could stop traffic. Draco didn’t mean that in a figurative “they’re beautiful” sense, but in the literal “they’re as bright as a stop light” sense.
They were the only pair of bright pink, high tops in the store. Draco assumed this was because there wasn’t anyone else who would want such a shoe, thank god. They had some cartoon character on the side. He didn’t recognize it. But the laces were the best part. They were every color of the rainbow all dotted in together, and if that wasn’t bad enough: they were glittery.
Cassie particularly enjoyed how they sparkled in the sunlight and couldn‘t help but look down to watch. This manner of walking allowed them to go about as fast as Crabbe and Goyle walking away from food. Draco would walk about four paces, sigh exasperatedly and wait, with his arms folded, for her to catch up to him then he’d walk four paces and she’d have fallen behind again. He felt as though he was moving a large herd of animals, not one little girl.
By the tenth time this happened, Draco was very irritable. He turned around to tell her to hurry up when he noticed that she was considerably farther back than usual. She wasn’t staring at her shoes anymore, instead she was drooling over something else. “Cassie!” he yelled, but she didn’t respond. He stepped closer, curious to see what had given her such an awed expression and a bit annoyed that she wasn’t paying him any attention.
“Ooooh,” he could hear her sigh contentedly.
“Cassie?” he asked. “What is it.”
She turned her gaze up to him with the biggest smile he had ever seen. “Look, Daddy!” she cried and pointed to a store window. “It’s Sleeping Beauty’s Castle,” she said the name with the reverence reserved for gods. Draco raised an eyebrow. It was just a pink, doll castle that in no way resembled the one in the movie. She grabbed his arm harshly, pulling him down to her level trying to get him to see what she saw. “It’s comes with Princess Aurora and Prince Philip!” she squealed. “There’s a secret chamber in the top that hides a spinning wheel that really spins! It‘s got fairies that fly around the outside and working moat!”
“It’s nice,” he replied half heartedly.
It didn’t seem so fantastic to him. It came with two, pretty ugly dolls that weren’t a good representation of the movie characters. The “flying” fairies were three colored dots that traveled on a track outside. The spinning wheel did really spin but it was just a toy and it wasn’t like you could use it. He couldn’t think why anyone would want a real spinning wheel anyway. And the working moat would surely end up as the world’s biggest mess. Despite his misgivings, Draco didn’t mention all these things to Cassie. She was far to excited over it for that. She probably wouldn’t listen to him anyway.
Her eyes shone hopefully. “Can I get it for my birthday?”
Draco frowned. Her birthday? “When’s your birthday?” he asked before he even realized the words had slipped out of his mouth. He knew when her birthday was: April 17th. He just hadn’t been keeping good track of time the last few years. He immediately felt guilty, even though Cassie didn’t look mad. It was simply another one of those things that he should’ve known as her father.
She happily held up all ten of her fingers. “Mummy said it was this many plus one.” She moved one had over so she could add a finger to her left hand, indicating eleven.
“When was that?” he asked.
“Thursday,” she answered proudly.
It was Monday now. That meant her birthday was exactly one week away! He couldn’t believe he hadn’t known about this. He should’ve been preparing, buying her gifts or something. Whenever he had a birthday, Narcissa had thrown a big party and invited lots of kids he didn’t like so he could gloat about all his new, expensive toys.
Cassie returned to staring intently at the castle, while Draco contemplated this new information. He briefly considered, marching right into that store and buying her the castle. But on second thought, he’d have to ask Ginny about it first. She might have already bought Cassie something or had something planned. Even if she did, though, he wanted to make this Cassie’s best birthday ever.
“Draco?” called an unfamiliar voice, shaking him out of his reverie. “Draco Malfoy?”
He turned, miffed, to face this unexpected interruption. She was tall, with long legs sticking out of a short skirt and black hair dripping down her back. Her slightly exotic features were struck a familiar cord, but he couldn’t quite place her. He mentally flipped through the images of girls that went to Hogwarts, but that wasn’t it. She had never been to Hogwarts. Besides, her accent wasn’t English even though she spoke the language perfectly.
“Fancy meeting you hear,” she said with a suggestive twinkle in her eye.
“Hello,” he smiled politely, as if he had any clue who she was. “How are you? It’s been awhile.”
The woman laughed falsely and flipped her hair over her shoulder. She started rambling on about this and that. He didn’t pay much attention. He was examining her closely, trying to place her face. It was coming back to him very slowly. It had been about seven years ago. He met her through a mutual acquaintance. They had gone out to dinner. She had flipped her hair a lot. And if he wasn’t mistaken, there had been a lot of sex.
But what was her name? Emma? Amy? No. But it did have a ‘y.’ Tracy? Courtenay?
Er, he gave up. Her name didn’t matter anyway. Because, she didn’t matter. Back then, none of them had mattered. He could only vaguely comprehend what he had seen in her. Besides the long legs, there wasn’t much. She certainly wasn’t interesting, as could be observed from his inability to pay attention to a thing she said.
“Uh-huh,” he nodded, having no idea what she was talking about.
She grinned like a predator stalking its prey and stepped closer. “So, what have you been up to?”
Draco sighed. He didn’t know what to say. ‘Well, I probably slept with a dozen girls just like you after we stopped seeing each other. I didn’t really miss you, in fact, I’ve forgotten what your name is. I went home, had lots of spells put on me by my father, impregnated this girl who I absolutely hated with my child. Congratulate me, it’s a girl! Her name is Cassandra. I thought she was dead for a good while there, and I moped around Europe like a big prat. I found them and now I’m taking my daughter, who is nearly six, out to buy some shoes.’
“Um, not much...” was all that came out.
“Daddy?” Cassie said suddenly, interrupting them. Draco looked down at her. She was tired of the store now and was looking up at him impatiently. When she wanted to stay, he had to wait but when he was busy, she’d get grumpy if she was forced to stay a minute longer than she wanted. “Can we go?”
The woman giggled behind her hand as if she expected Draco to tell the little girl off. “Yeah,” Draco answered with a bitter look at her. “We can go.”
“Wait a minute!” she exclaimed. “You are a father?” She said it as if it were the most ridiculous idea in the entire world. Draco puffed up irritably. Why was that so hard to believe. Defensive insults began to swirl in his head. He didn’t have to take this from what’s-her-name.
But it was Cassie who cheerfully answered her question. “Yeah,” she grinned. “He’s the best Daddy ever.”
Draco smirked as he watched the reaction of the woman. She was absolutely dumbfounded and seemed to have lost the ability to speak. Her mouth just hung wide open as she watched Draco lift Cassie into her arms.
“Don’t worry,” he drawled ironically as he walked away. “She’s not yours.”
And for that, he thanked the Lord.
* * *
Ginny was up waiting for them when they got back to the hotel. She grinned broadly when she saw Cassie, who ran to give her a big hug. “You all better?” Cassie asked. She reached up to feel her mother’s forehead like a doctor taking care of her patient.
“Mummy! I want Sleeping Beauty’s Castle for my birthday!” she screeched. It made Draco’s head hurt.
Ginny’s face fell, “Are you sure?” Cassie nodded emphatically.
Cassie was so happy and it only made Ginny feel horrible. She knew they wouldn’t be able to get that toy for her. It was too big and wouldn’t fit in her suitcase. They’d have to leave it like her old doll. And it was worse to get it for her and then have to leave it behind than it was to never get it at all. Ginny really would’ve like to get the castle though. It was the one thing that Cassie really wanted and Ginny could remember all too well what it was like to be a little girl, who desperately wanted this doll or that doll but couldn’t have it. Ginny didn’t have the heart to tell her ‘no.’ “We’ll see,” she whispered hearing the echoes of her own mother in her head. “We’ll see.”
Draco sighed as he collapsed on the bed. He wasn’t watching the exchange. In fact, he was trying to tune out the voices of Cassie and Ginny. The encounter with his ex had been uncomfortable and disturbing. It had reminded him of a life he had lived years ago. He wanted to say that he was different now and that he was “grown up.” But the truth was that having a child hadn’t changed any of that. That boy was still inside him. And he wanted to get out.
He tried to remember what it had been like with her but he couldn’t really remember which one was her. They all blurred together. She could’ve been that one in Venice or that one in Bath. Who knew? His attempts to call back the specifics were futile.
“Draco?” Ginny asked. He couldn’t see her concerned face with his eyes closed.
“Mmm?” He grunted his only response. He was still trying to tune her out.
The closest thing he could remember was the last time he had been with a woman. It was months ago. He had stopped in some town, he couldn’t remember the name, during his depression and had stumbled across her. He wouldn’t have called her “pretty” to be exact. But there had been something about her that had captivated him. Something very specific about her...
“Are you ok?” It was Ginny again. She was getting annoying; he was trying to relive a pleasant memory here!
“Mmm,” he grunted his assent.
She had been the one to approach him. He just didn’t have the heart to make her leave him alone. She said he looked sad and sincerely wanted to help him. He tried telling her that she couldn’t help him, that no one could. She just laughed at him and told him he was being melodramatic.
“You don’t look all right,” Ginny continued.
Draco didn’t answer this time. He was thinking about the way she kissed, how soft her lips were. She had been soft all over. He especially remembered her hair. It was feather-light and tickled him. He had liked running his hands through it.
“Draco!” Ginny yelled more demandingly.
He closed his eyes tighter, trying to shut Ginny out. He was trying to remember. It seemed important some how, like his subconscious was trying to tell him something. He determinedly tried to hold onto his thoughts: Her hair. It was kind of curly and twirled around his fingers...
“DRACO!”
... It spilled down her back like a waterfall...
“Hello? Draco? DRACO!”
... No, it wasn’t like a waterfall. It had been like something else...
“Daddy?”
... Like leaping flames...
Like flames because, it had been red. Her hair was red. He had liked that about her.
His eyes snapped open. Ginny was looking at him with an odd expression. He saw something like concern flicker across her face before it was replaced by a glare. “What?” he croaked hoarsely, a little dazed and bewildered.
Cassie giggled from her perch in her mother’s arms. “You’re silly, Daddy.”
* * *
Lucius Malfoy stared dutifully ahead at his Master. The rest of the Death Eaters were circled around a black, marble table wearing similar rapt expressions. Their planned attack on the Ministry of Magic was rapidly approaching. It had been in the works for some time now. Several of the Death Eaters had been devoted to only this occasion for the last year. Voldemort was impatiently explaining every detail for the fourth time to the slower members.
Wormtail looked rather like a boy in Professor McGonagall’s transfiguration class, trying to force himself to remember every word. Crabbe and Goyle looked as though they planned on using their tried and true method of just doing what everyone else did. Walden MacNair was the most excited of the group. He had been dreaming of the day for ages. Severus Snape was staring at the Dark Lord with an unreadable expression. Lucius already knew Snape had every detail committed to memory.
Lucius wondered if Snape, or any of the other Death Eaters, thought this was as unnecessary as he did. The plan was relatively simple, certainly not the kind of thing Lucius would dream up. He had been only marginally involved in the planning, as he had been with every other scheme since he had failed to retrieve his granddaughter.
But still he felt gnawing anxiety building in his chest. This battle would be a turning point. If they captured the Ministry then Voldemort would put a new order in place. He would certainly need people to run it for him. Lucius snuck a glance at Snape, who was still wearing that same mask of no expression. Many of Voldemort’s most trusted Death Eaters had died in the fight or in Azkaban, Snape and Lucius himself were two of the only Death Eaters left with the skill or the brains it took to run a government.
He remembered young Draco’s voice now. “He’s the best teacher in the school, Father,” he said in the drawling, adoring voice of a twelve year old, “You should elect him Headmaster...”
Snape nodded thoughtfully as Voldemort said something to him, unaware of the jealous looks he was getting from Lucius. He couldn’t figure out how Snape did it. Surely Dumbledore had some idea that he was acting as their spy. Lucius didn’t have a high opinion of the man but he would’ve expected Dumbledore to catch on by now, unless he thought Snape was their spy... But how could he possibly think that Snape would turn on the Dark Lord? Snape had seen first had what Voldemort did to traitors and those who disobeyed him. Again, Lucius’ thoughts turned to his son.
He felt Voldemort’s cold eyes slithering over him, and tried to look firm. Now was the time, he thought as he steeled himself with new resolve. He would make sure this worked. He’d make Voldemort trust him again. Then, he’d be in power again. He’d be able to fix it. He’d fix it all and bend the world to his will.
“There’s still one more thing I have to take care of beforehand,” Voldemort was saying, but his voice sounded so far away.
Lucius tried not to react, knowing perfectly well what he was talking about. This had to happen, he reminded himself. Soon, things would be different...
* * *
Cassie cuddled up next to her father rather like she was trying to make a burrow in his side. Her tiny chest heaved up and down as she snored softly. Draco couldn’t really appreciate the irony of the situation. She had been the one to wake him up out of peaceful slumber. But now that it was “nap time,” as she called it, he couldn’t get to sleep no matter how tired he was.
He kept sneaking looks at Ginny, who was methodically making her own bed. He remembered very little of those nights they had spent together to conceive Cassie, but now it seemed like every single flash he had was painted on the back of his eyelids when he closed his eyes. What did this mean? Why were these thoughts haunting him now? The answers to these questions were more disturbing than leaving the questions unanswered.
Ginny turned around to look at him when she heard the thump of his head falling back against the pillow. She smiled at him pleasantly, completely unaware of the things going on in his head. “I thought you were Cassie again,” she whispered. Earlier, Cassie had been seized with fitful nightmares but she had mercifully quieted down since then.
“No, she’s good.” He wanted to say something else, to tell her but he was afraid of the possible reaction. Things had just become semi-normal between them and he didn’t want to jeopardize it. But he also knew this would be one of the few times he would have to discuss anything with here. They never got to have an adult conversation unless Cassie was asleep. “Ginny, I --” A polite knock at the door interrupted Draco in mid-sentence.
She grinned easily, with no clue of what was about to happen between them. “Hold that thought. I think that’s the maid.” She shook her head as she walked over to the door. Draco sure was acting strangely today. She wondered what he had been trying to say. He had looked so earnest. She bet that the moment had passed and he would say it was nothing when she got back. She knew him better than he thought.
So it was with a heavy regret that she turned the gold colored doorknob. It stuck and she had to really twist it to get the door open. This was deeply annoying, or perhaps she was annoyed over other things. The point was, Ginny wasn’t happy that there was somebody standing on the other side of her door.
She was even less happy when she saw who it was.
All Draco heard was a sharp cry of surprise then the loud bang as the door was quickly slammed shut again. “Draco!” she screamed. If Ginny had meant to say anything else, it never made it to her lips. It didn’t matter. The sheer panic in her voice instantly roused him from the bed. He rushed to see what was the matter. What he saw instead was Ginny’s body being flung across the room, along with the door, which had been blown off its hinges, and other various debris.
She landed in a heap at the foot of the other bed, the door in splinters covered her like a blanket. Fear gripped him. She wasn’t moving. She was unconscious... or worse.
“I thought this was going to be more difficult,” said a slippery voice from the doorframe. “Pleased to see I was wrong.”
Draco turned to meet the ruby-red eyes of Lord Voldemort himself. He lazily stepped into the room. Instinctively, Draco drew his wand and stood in front of Cassie’s no longer sleeping form. She sat upright in bed. Her watery eyes kept darting from Voldemort to where her mother lay. She was shaking so hard from the fear that no words came out.
There wasn’t any way out of this, or at least there wasnt one Draco could see. He was continuously looking for some escape. He couldn’t get to the door to run anyway. He wouldn’t leave Ginny and Cassie anyway. And he certainly couldn’t beat Voldemort in a wizard’s duel. His wand somehow seemed so useless now, like he was counting on a blanket to give him shelter in a tornado.
“Daddy!” Cassie squeaked, frightened. Both Voldemort and Draco turned to look at her. “Why won’t Mummy get up?” she sobbed.
Draco could think of no words to soothe her fears. He was wondering that himself. Voldemort, on the other hand, chuckled mirthlessly. “Oh, we can fix that,” he said slyly. “Imperio.”
Suddenly, Ginny’s body leaped to its feet like a puppet’s strings had just gone taunt. Cassie gasped from behind Draco. He couldn’t look to see if she was all right, his own eyes were riveted to Ginny’s blank stare. She was going to attack him. Draco knew what Voldemort was expecting. Good guys would rather die than hurt each other. He would just turn them on each other and then Draco would surrender.
Again, Draco’s mind began racing, looking for a way out. There were very few options and none of them were good. He could refuse to hurt Ginny. He did, after all, have these brand spanking new confusing feelings for her that made the idea of hurting her actually physically painful to him. Then Voldemort would capture all three of them. He’d do with Cassie whatever it was he had planned while Draco and Ginny would be tortured or killed. He could try to fight both Ginny and Voldemort which was an exercise in futility even without the redhead thrown into the mix.
All the while, Ginny was slowing advancing on Draco while Voldemort tried to gauge his reaction. Draco wasn’t readable at all. He hid his emotions very deep below the surface. All that Voldemort could gather was that he was acutely aware of the wand clutched in Ginny’s hand. It was the same one she had stolen from his loyal Death Eater.
“Ginny, you don’t want to do this,” Draco whispered, trying to think of what Harry Potter would say, which amounted to him saying the cheesiest things that came to mind. “Fight it.” Ginny didn’t appear to hear him or if she did, she didn’t respond except to continue toward him.
He frowned. This was useless. He was only doing what the Dark Lord had planned. He was supposed to be making things easier for himself not his opponent. “Sod it,” he grumbled. “STUPEFY!” Ginny instantly sank to the ground as the spell struck, her strings no longer being pulled.
Before Voldemort had time to adjust, to the change in plans, Draco whirled on him. “Conjuctiva!” the spell hit Voldemort squarely in his scarlet eye. He cried out angrily and grasped his head.
Draco rushed to the bed and pulled Cassie sharply into his arms. He ordered his mind to remember every nasty hex he had ever learned under the eerie, green light of the Slytherin common room. He hurled them incessantly at Voldemort. The Dark Lord had shrugged off any effect the curse had on him and he was now dodging Draco’s hexes like they were gnats buzzing around his ear.
He began to chant something in a unnaturally deep voice. It was in a language that Draco didn’t understand. The words caused a sense of dread to rise up in him. How could he fight something if he didn’t know what to expect? If the unknown were a tangible thing it would have been swirling around the pair like a dark mist.
Cassie screamed. Seconds later, Draco understood why. Slowly, she was rising in the air, lifting out of his arms. It was almost as if the wind was doing it with no aim or direction. He looked like the kind of thing Cassie would’ve enjoyed if it had happened under different circumstances. Draco desperately trying to grab hold of her. Every time he jumped, she would drift just that much further out of his reach, as if Voldemort were taunting him. He’d never catch her. He had to make it stop.
Draco turned to face Voldemort again. He was smirking at Draco who had looked rather silly hopping up and down trying to grab Cassie. Draco didn’t know what spell he could possibly to that Voldemort couldn’t deflect. And even if he could think of one, he wasn’t sure he could stop what he was doing to Cassie. He hated feeling so powerless. He wanted to be able to handle this, to save the day. What kind of father let his only child drift off with the man she feared most in the world?
Voldemort started to hiss some more words that Draco didn’t understand. He clasped his hands leisurely behind his back. All the while, sweat never appeared on his scaly skin. He wanted to make sure that Draco knew: he wasn’t a worthy opponent. The only proof that Voldemort even knew Draco was there was that he was glaring menacingly at him. His psychological tactics were working. Draco had never felt so useless in his entire life.
With the incantation finished, Voldemort stood back and waited for it to take effect. Draco watched helpless as his world began to darken. The edges of his vision, the tattered remnants of the room fogged over first then Ginny and Cassie disappeared until only Voldemort was left, smirking. Then everything went black and he felt his head slam against the floor but he didn’t hang onto unconsciousness long enough to feel the pain rip through his body.
The last thing he heard was Cassie. She was screaming for her father.
* * *
Draco didn’t know how long it was before he was roused by trembling hands shaking him. He blinked rapidly. The light was too much for his eyes. Slowly, everything blurred into focus, in the opposite manner of how he had come to be in this state in the first place. Now, instead of Voldemort standing in front of him, Ginny was crouched over him.
She was crying. Only small droplets of water fell down her face, as though the hysteria had passed but the pain wasn’t gone. He only needed one look at her to know. “He’s got her.”
With this declaration, Ginny broke into a fresh fit of sobs.
Draco was glad that she was all right. She had taken a pretty bad beating. He was amazed that they were both still intact. He glanced around the hotel room. The same thing couldn’t be said for it. It looked like a war had been fought there. They would definitely be charged extra. On some level he was annoyed that Voldemort hadn’t thought them dangerous to capture them too. He had just left them to their despair.
Ginny’s head was buried in her hands. He could hear muffled cries but that was all. He hadn’t the foggiest idea of what he should say to her. He knew there weren’t words that could make her feel any better. After all, he was an old pro at losing a child. He could already feel that familiar emptiness building in his stomach. He knew her pain. At the same time, he was worried about her. It was different for her. She wasn’t used to being alone, to having no one to love. As she cried herself silly, Draco worried that she would wear herself out. She was just crying so much. He didn’t know how it was possible. Of course, he hadn’t shed a tear yet.
“I’m sorry,” he said stonily. She looked up at him. He could see the trails of blotchy, red that the tears left on her sensitive skin. “I’m really sorry,” he said again when it became clear that she didn’t have the foggiest idea what he was apologizing for. “I couldn’t protect her.”
She made an effort to wipe the tears from her face. He rather wished she wouldn’t look at him with those big eyes and be shocked that he would think that it was his fault. It’d be easier if it was. Then she could get mad at him, put the Jelly Legs Jinx on him and feel better. But she didn’t blame him. She didn’t get mad, instead she said: “You tried. It was more than I could’ve hoped you’d do.” She smiled wryly, remembering their conversation the night he had arrived. “It was very Gryffindor of you.”
He hated to see her like this. She looked so empty, so afraid. She shivered violently even though the room were no colder than before. It just felt like it was, either because Voldemort had been there or because Cassie wasn’t. Draco painfully crawled onto the bed, to sit next to her. His whole body protested the effort. He didn’t know what to do for her or what else to say to her. He couldn’t think. Maybe it was because the reality of the situation hadn’t hit him yet. Or perhaps it was because of the sharp blow he had suffered to the head.
Draco stretched out his legs and looked at his shoes. Just a little while ago he had bought Cassie new shoes. He wondered if she missed him. He wondered if she was afraid. Voldemort could’ve done anything to her in the time that had elapsed. He wasn’t sure how long it had been since he had been passed out. For all intents and purposes, it was years ago that he taken his daughter shopping for shoes. How long they sat there was immeasurable. It felt like forever. Every moment was a new torture. He hoped to god it wasn’t the same for Cassie.
Eventually Ginny’s sobs quieted down and then ceased all together. At first, he was relieved. She was going to make herself sick. But it wasn’t as positive a thing as he had hoped. She merely stared straight ahead and didn’t even blink. She only moved to shiver. The fill the room filled with eerie silence.
“Come on, Ginny,” he breathed as he poked her, trying for some reaction out of her. She didn’t move, just stared ahead with unseeing eyes. “Ginny,” he tried again, “maybe you could lay down. I bet you’ll feel better in the morning,” he said this knowing full well that she could sleep like Princess Aurora and wouldn’t feel any different. Slumber would just be a pleasant distraction from this catatonia.
“I’ll lay here with you if you don’t want to be left alone,” he offered hopefully. Ginny didn’t answer. Her head dropped to the side, as if it were too heavy for her neck to hold up. Draco pulled her closer so it rested gently on his shoulder. Awkwardly, he stroked her hair, wondering how in the world he had become the one who had to comfort Ginny Weasley.
“Ginny...” he whispered almost desperately. She was frightening him now. He really didn’t want to lose both of his girls in one day. That would mean there was no one left. The only other person who had ever given a damn about him was his mum, and look what he had done to her. He was like the antithesis of King Midas: everything he touched turned to crap.
And then, just when he thought he’d never hear her voice again, she spoke. “I want me Mum,” she sobbed nuzzling closer to the warmth of his body. He could hear new tears in her voice. “I want my baby.” Sadly, he wrapped his arms tighter around her. He wouldn’t object to those things. “I want my family.”
Ok, he’d object to that one but only because her many brothers would probably beat him to a bloody pulp for getting their sister pregnant. For her sake though, he’d be willing to get them. Then he’d run for cover.
“We’ll get her back,” he murmured gently, trying to reassure himself as well.
Ginny looked up at him with hopeful eyes, still shining from the tears she had shed. Her lips quivered, like she was trying to think of something appropriate to say but was failing. It was rather unexpected, but not entirely unwanted, when she instead pressed her lips against his own.
For a brief moment, he was able to forget everything that had happened. Everything was simple. There was kissing and that was all. Her hands roamed from his hair to his back and then returned to his hair. She was warm and her lips were soft. It made him feel like he wasn’t alone anymore.
This was, after all, how it was supposed to be. It’s what he had pictured in his mind all those years when he thought them dead. He didn’t just want to be a father to Cassie, but a real family. A real family, like the ones he had seen at a distance. What he couldn’t figure out was why he hadn’t kissed her before. Cassie had continuously tried to get them together.
“You should kiss and make up,” she’d say hopefully then bounce up and down the way she did. And every time he’d get a lurch in his stomach but when the moment came, he’d hesitate. This isn’t the time, he’d think.
Unexpectedly, an image began to form in his head. It was Cassie. Then it was Ginny, crying softly. She wasn’t in any shape to be making these kind of decisions. Come to think of it, neither was he. The little girl had left a hole, and Ginny was trying to fill it. If he continued with this now, he’d never know if it was what she really wanted.
This isn’t the time, he thought.
Resignedly, he pushed her shoulders back. “Ginny...” he began, doubting whether he could properly describe why he was pushing her away when she needed him most. She looked at him, completely shattered. There was so much pain there, he knew he’d never be able to understand it completely. His heart was just two sizes too small.
“Dormio.” He cast the sleeping spell without thinking about what he was doing. Ginny’s body slumped against the mattress with a muted thud. Draco began the painful process of untangling his limbs from hers. He put a pillow beneath her head and covered her in blankets. He hoped she’d have untroubled dreams, but he doubted that was possible. He contemplated making the Sleeping Draught for her, but he didn’t have the proper ingredients or equipment.
Draco limped to the bathroom. He knew he’d never be able to stay out there with her, it was too tempting. Even though he’d much rather lay on a mattress than the hard, blue tile that lined the loo. He leaned against the wall, gradually falling to a sitting position. The cold tile was in sharp contrast to the heat on his skin. That was all Ginny’s fault. She was also to blame for his racing pulse.
He knew in his heart that this was what he had to do. But his body would never forgive him.
He sighed trying to figure out when he had become so damn chivalrous.
*
NOTES: Thanks to all my reviewers! I did one of those things where I answer questions but I lost it now. Such is life. And thanks to Tessie and Amy, my betas. Though Tessie says she couldn’t find anything wrong with this chapter, which I find hard to believe. On with the show!
Ginny sighed as she sank to the bed. The mattress was hard and uncomfortable as hotel mattresses tended to be. In spite of this, it felt good to finally sit down. This was the third hotel they had stayed in this week. She was weary from running and longed to have a real home she could go to, some place she could finally unpack all her things and know that they wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon. But the fear of an attack was constantly at the forefront of her mind. It hung over all of them like a bad stench. They had to keep moving.
It had been nearly a month since the last attack and there hadn’t been so much as a peep from the Death Eaters since. They had never gone so long without one. It made her jittery. Ginny half expected Voldemort himself to be waiting around every corner. It kept her from being able to relax and enjoy the simple moments with her daughter. And Ginny hated that. She hated allowing him to ruin the only joy she had in life.
“Are you all right, Mummy?” Cassie asked with big eyes as she climbed into her mother’s lap. Draco was inspecting her curiously too from the doorway where he was lugging their bags into the room.
“Yes, I’m fine,” she sighed tiredly. “I’m just sleepy,” she said to Cassie.
“Oh. That’s because it’s bedtime!” Cassie observed, as if this should have been as plain as the nose on her face. Ginny smiled at the girl. Sometimes it was hard to believe that she had been able to remain so innocent with all the turmoil swirling around her.
“Go get ready,” Ginny instructed, giving her a little push on the back. Cassie immediately jumped down and disappeared into the bathroom.
Draco was still staring at her with a concerned expression. He found her protesting completely unconvincing. Ginny hated that he was worrying about her. It still didn’t feel quite right. Perhaps it was because it was still a shock to see worry cross his pointed features. “I’m fine,” she said again.
Draco remained unconvinced. All he could think was, the lady doth protest too much.
“I just need a goodnight’s sleep,” she said, noting his distrustful gaze.
He didn’t know how she’d ever be able to get to sleep with so much on her mind, unless she had found the on/off switch to her brain. The fact that she slept with Cassie wouldn’t help much either. Cassie kicked like a football player. Ginny had the bruises to show for it. He looked at the other bed thoughtfully, running his fingers through his hair. He really would like help Ginny out. She was wearing herself too thin.
When Cassie emerged from the bathroom, he crouched down on one knee to whisper in her ear. “Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?” he asked quietly.
“Yeah!” she exclaimed brightly apparently not noticing that he was trying not to disturb Ginny. “Mummy!” she cried. “Can I sleep with Daddy tonight?” She looked up at her mother with hopeful eyes.
Draco was sure that even if Ginny was looking forward to spending the night getting whacked out of peaceful slumber she couldn’t have said no to that face. She was only human, after all. Ginny smiled serenely. “Sure.”
Cassie bounced onto the bed, making sure to take up as much space as possible. She looked around from her perch, as if it were an entirely different room when she was on Daddy’s side. Ginny and Draco exchanged knowing glances. Her eyes wearily thanked him for being so uncharacteristically considerate.
“You’re a cover hog,” Draco grumbled teasingly as he climbed into bed with his daughter. She had pulled all the blankets up around her so they resembled a nest around a baby bird.
Cassie poked her head out of the nest, which was surely bigger than her. “I am not,” she said indignantly. ‘Cover hog’ was possibly the meanest insult he could throw at her.
“Are too,” he sighed as he lay down and struggled in vain to get a blanket to shield his body from the cold.
“Am not!”
“Are too!”
A bubbly laughter lifted from the other side of the dark room. Draco could make out Ginny’s shaking form from underneath her warm(he thought jealously) blankets. Cassie turned to look at her mother, who was now laughing so hard she had to sit up or she might choke.
“Mummy’s laughing at you,” she said to Draco in a neener-neener-neener- type voice.
“Mummy’s laughing at you,” Draco shot back playfully.
Cassie gasped, horrified. She seemed to be searching for an appropriate, intelligent response. “Nuh-uh!” she cried.
“Yuh-huh...”
* * *
The morning came all too quickly. Draco felt as though he hadn’t slept at all, yet somehow it was time to wake up. He couldn’t figure it out. Cassie apparently lived in some parallel universe where you could get enough sleep in five minutes to be energized because she was up, bouncing around the room at ungodly hours. She’d bounce over to his sleeping spot to pull on his arm, shouting, “Come on, Daddy. Get up!” He’d grumble about her being the devil child and try to go back to sleep. Then a few minutes later, she’d come back and yell at him more impatiently.
“Can’t we just sleep in today?” he asked her finally, annoyed at being woken up for the billionth time.
She looked thoughtful, as if weighing the options. “No,” she said quickly and finally. “Today Mummy said we’d get me new shoes.” She held out her little feet, which did not have any shoes on them because she couldn’t tie them herself. She wiggled her toes for dramatic effect.
Draco looked over at the lump of blankets that was Ginny. She was apparently slumbering undisturbed. He grumbled inwardly wondering why he had to be tortured and Ginny got to stay in bed. He briefly entertained the idea of it being the universe’s idea of payback for the five years she had to raise Cassie alone but quickly shrugged it off. Maybe the universe was cruel, but Cassie didn’t think like that.
As if she were reading his thoughts, Cassie spoke up, in a chipper, well-rested voice. “Mummy’s sick,” she explained, “She can’t come.” Then she grinned, enjoying the idea of time alone with Daddy. She didn’t get to spend much time with him when her mummy wasn’t around. And now they could spend the whole day together.
That same thought occurred to Draco as well. It just didn’t have the same effect. He was rarely alone with Cassie. Ginny provided the much needed function of explaining Cassie’s baffling mannerisms. He wasn’t sure if he could do it alone. What if she said something and he didn’t know what she was talking about? Or something went wrong and he didn’t know how to handle it? So he did the only thing he could: panic.
“Are you sure you want to go shoe shopping without Mummy?” he asked, trying not to sound like he was begging her. It was best if he didn’t show fear. He just hoped she couldn’t smell it like a dog.
She bobbled her head up and down. “I need them. Mummy says I can’t walk around barefooted. I dunno why.” She crooked to the side (some people just did that with their head, Cassie used her whole body) and watched him as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and generally tried to wake himself up. “All right, Daddy?”
“Corking,” he muttered.
Cassie grinned widely, “’kay!” she exclaimed, not catching his heavy sarcasm.
Grudgingly, Draco rolled out of bed. Fatherhood wasn’t like Hogwarts. There, he could have Crabbe and Goyle tell Professor Sprout he was beside himself with despair over Cedric Diggory’s death and wouldn’t be making the early Herbology class or he could con Pansy Parkinson into giving him the notes. “Give me a minute, ok?” Cassie’s only response was to continue bouncing impatiently. “You know, they’ll still have shoes at noon,” he grumbled on his way to the bathroom, but she didn’t hear him.
He tried to think up excuses that would satisfy her. They ranged from: “Gee, don’t you think Mum will be sad if we go without her?” to “Bloody hell! I just don’t want to!” but none of them held any water. So before long he found himself exiting the hotel with his five-year-old holding his hand. She liked to jump in the lift, to the annoyance of the other people, because the floor came up to meet her. It made the well-bred part of him want to inch away and pretend he didn’t know her. But that nagging “father” part of him thought it was the cutest thing ever, so he smiled.
It was vital that he kept a close eye on her. Every now and again, she’d see something that she fancied and would want to wander off in it’s direction. These were usually perfectly ordinary things like leaves or people in funny hats. He couldn’t understand why she found them so fascinating. Whenever he saw she was about to drift he’d say, “Cassie, stay by me,” and she’d dutifully wrap both of her arms around his leg. This made it very hard to walk so it took an hour to make it to the store.
“Which way?” he asked her when they got to a fork in the road. Several Muggles behind him sighed exasperatedly when they saw that they were stopping again.
“That way,” Cassie pointed to her left. Draco didn’t know where the store was but Cassie seemed to, so he didn’t question her. He had learned not to do that by now.
“We’re almost there. You can let go of my trousers now,” he said, grinning, as they approached the location Cassie had pointed out.
She looked up at him with large eyes. She was silent for a moment, pretending to actually think it over then she shook her head, “nuh-uh.” He felt her arms get tighter around his leg as if she were afraid he was going to bolt. “I stay.”
He chuckled. “You’re annoying.”
She bounced happily. “That’s what Mummy says!” she proclaimed proudly. He wasn’t sure if she was proud for herself or for him. He got the feeling that it was the latter.
Suddenly, her eyes went all wide. “Oooh,” she cooed as if she had just beheld Elysium. He turned to see what it was she was looking at. It was just a plain, Muggle store. There wasn’t anything terribly exciting about it. He tried to see what Cassie was so interested in. Then it hit him: shoes.
“This is the store?” he asked with a gulp, even though he already knew the answer. Cassie bobbled her head.
It wasn’t that Draco was afraid to go into the Muggle store. He was just uncomfortable with it. For starters, he didn’t have any Muggle money. And he had never been in one. He had been near some when Ginny went in, but he always stayed outside. He had never been allowed around Muggles or Muggle items when he lived at Malfoy Mansion. There was still a lingering since of it being forbidden. Add to that the vague distaste he had for all Muggles coupled with the constant fear that he’d do something stupid in there and one could understand why Draco didn’t want to go in.
“You sure?” he asked. Again, Cassie bobbled her head, like one of those irritating sports dolls. He would’ve taken her away by now if it weren’t for the longing gaze she was giving a particularly tacky pair of pink sneakers.
He sighed and took a step forward. Oh, the things he did for his kid.
* * *
A few minutes later, they emerged from the store hand in hand and with identical grins of satisfaction on their faces. Draco was pleased that he had remembered the spell that transfigured galleons into Muggle money. He still didn’t know what all the paper bills meant, so he threw a bunch of them at the clerk and trusted him to make the right change. But other than that, he hadn’t done anything to make Cassie roll her eyes at him, a definite up side.
Another thing he couldn’t complain about was that Cassie was no longer attached to his leg. She was walking in wide, sweeping steps so he could get the best possible view of her new shoes. She had insisted on wearing them out of the store. Not that she needed any help seeing them; they could stop traffic. Draco didn’t mean that in a figurative “they’re beautiful” sense, but in the literal “they’re as bright as a stop light” sense.
They were the only pair of bright pink, high tops in the store. Draco assumed this was because there wasn’t anyone else who would want such a shoe, thank god. They had some cartoon character on the side. He didn’t recognize it. But the laces were the best part. They were every color of the rainbow all dotted in together, and if that wasn’t bad enough: they were glittery.
Cassie particularly enjoyed how they sparkled in the sunlight and couldn‘t help but look down to watch. This manner of walking allowed them to go about as fast as Crabbe and Goyle walking away from food. Draco would walk about four paces, sigh exasperatedly and wait, with his arms folded, for her to catch up to him then he’d walk four paces and she’d have fallen behind again. He felt as though he was moving a large herd of animals, not one little girl.
By the tenth time this happened, Draco was very irritable. He turned around to tell her to hurry up when he noticed that she was considerably farther back than usual. She wasn’t staring at her shoes anymore, instead she was drooling over something else. “Cassie!” he yelled, but she didn’t respond. He stepped closer, curious to see what had given her such an awed expression and a bit annoyed that she wasn’t paying him any attention.
“Ooooh,” he could hear her sigh contentedly.
“Cassie?” he asked. “What is it.”
She turned her gaze up to him with the biggest smile he had ever seen. “Look, Daddy!” she cried and pointed to a store window. “It’s Sleeping Beauty’s Castle,” she said the name with the reverence reserved for gods. Draco raised an eyebrow. It was just a pink, doll castle that in no way resembled the one in the movie. She grabbed his arm harshly, pulling him down to her level trying to get him to see what she saw. “It’s comes with Princess Aurora and Prince Philip!” she squealed. “There’s a secret chamber in the top that hides a spinning wheel that really spins! It‘s got fairies that fly around the outside and working moat!”
“It’s nice,” he replied half heartedly.
It didn’t seem so fantastic to him. It came with two, pretty ugly dolls that weren’t a good representation of the movie characters. The “flying” fairies were three colored dots that traveled on a track outside. The spinning wheel did really spin but it was just a toy and it wasn’t like you could use it. He couldn’t think why anyone would want a real spinning wheel anyway. And the working moat would surely end up as the world’s biggest mess. Despite his misgivings, Draco didn’t mention all these things to Cassie. She was far to excited over it for that. She probably wouldn’t listen to him anyway.
Her eyes shone hopefully. “Can I get it for my birthday?”
Draco frowned. Her birthday? “When’s your birthday?” he asked before he even realized the words had slipped out of his mouth. He knew when her birthday was: April 17th. He just hadn’t been keeping good track of time the last few years. He immediately felt guilty, even though Cassie didn’t look mad. It was simply another one of those things that he should’ve known as her father.
She happily held up all ten of her fingers. “Mummy said it was this many plus one.” She moved one had over so she could add a finger to her left hand, indicating eleven.
“When was that?” he asked.
“Thursday,” she answered proudly.
It was Monday now. That meant her birthday was exactly one week away! He couldn’t believe he hadn’t known about this. He should’ve been preparing, buying her gifts or something. Whenever he had a birthday, Narcissa had thrown a big party and invited lots of kids he didn’t like so he could gloat about all his new, expensive toys.
Cassie returned to staring intently at the castle, while Draco contemplated this new information. He briefly considered, marching right into that store and buying her the castle. But on second thought, he’d have to ask Ginny about it first. She might have already bought Cassie something or had something planned. Even if she did, though, he wanted to make this Cassie’s best birthday ever.
“Draco?” called an unfamiliar voice, shaking him out of his reverie. “Draco Malfoy?”
He turned, miffed, to face this unexpected interruption. She was tall, with long legs sticking out of a short skirt and black hair dripping down her back. Her slightly exotic features were struck a familiar cord, but he couldn’t quite place her. He mentally flipped through the images of girls that went to Hogwarts, but that wasn’t it. She had never been to Hogwarts. Besides, her accent wasn’t English even though she spoke the language perfectly.
“Fancy meeting you hear,” she said with a suggestive twinkle in her eye.
“Hello,” he smiled politely, as if he had any clue who she was. “How are you? It’s been awhile.”
The woman laughed falsely and flipped her hair over her shoulder. She started rambling on about this and that. He didn’t pay much attention. He was examining her closely, trying to place her face. It was coming back to him very slowly. It had been about seven years ago. He met her through a mutual acquaintance. They had gone out to dinner. She had flipped her hair a lot. And if he wasn’t mistaken, there had been a lot of sex.
But what was her name? Emma? Amy? No. But it did have a ‘y.’ Tracy? Courtenay?
Er, he gave up. Her name didn’t matter anyway. Because, she didn’t matter. Back then, none of them had mattered. He could only vaguely comprehend what he had seen in her. Besides the long legs, there wasn’t much. She certainly wasn’t interesting, as could be observed from his inability to pay attention to a thing she said.
“Uh-huh,” he nodded, having no idea what she was talking about.
She grinned like a predator stalking its prey and stepped closer. “So, what have you been up to?”
Draco sighed. He didn’t know what to say. ‘Well, I probably slept with a dozen girls just like you after we stopped seeing each other. I didn’t really miss you, in fact, I’ve forgotten what your name is. I went home, had lots of spells put on me by my father, impregnated this girl who I absolutely hated with my child. Congratulate me, it’s a girl! Her name is Cassandra. I thought she was dead for a good while there, and I moped around Europe like a big prat. I found them and now I’m taking my daughter, who is nearly six, out to buy some shoes.’
“Um, not much...” was all that came out.
“Daddy?” Cassie said suddenly, interrupting them. Draco looked down at her. She was tired of the store now and was looking up at him impatiently. When she wanted to stay, he had to wait but when he was busy, she’d get grumpy if she was forced to stay a minute longer than she wanted. “Can we go?”
The woman giggled behind her hand as if she expected Draco to tell the little girl off. “Yeah,” Draco answered with a bitter look at her. “We can go.”
“Wait a minute!” she exclaimed. “You are a father?” She said it as if it were the most ridiculous idea in the entire world. Draco puffed up irritably. Why was that so hard to believe. Defensive insults began to swirl in his head. He didn’t have to take this from what’s-her-name.
But it was Cassie who cheerfully answered her question. “Yeah,” she grinned. “He’s the best Daddy ever.”
Draco smirked as he watched the reaction of the woman. She was absolutely dumbfounded and seemed to have lost the ability to speak. Her mouth just hung wide open as she watched Draco lift Cassie into her arms.
“Don’t worry,” he drawled ironically as he walked away. “She’s not yours.”
And for that, he thanked the Lord.
* * *
Ginny was up waiting for them when they got back to the hotel. She grinned broadly when she saw Cassie, who ran to give her a big hug. “You all better?” Cassie asked. She reached up to feel her mother’s forehead like a doctor taking care of her patient.
“Mummy! I want Sleeping Beauty’s Castle for my birthday!” she screeched. It made Draco’s head hurt.
Ginny’s face fell, “Are you sure?” Cassie nodded emphatically.
Cassie was so happy and it only made Ginny feel horrible. She knew they wouldn’t be able to get that toy for her. It was too big and wouldn’t fit in her suitcase. They’d have to leave it like her old doll. And it was worse to get it for her and then have to leave it behind than it was to never get it at all. Ginny really would’ve like to get the castle though. It was the one thing that Cassie really wanted and Ginny could remember all too well what it was like to be a little girl, who desperately wanted this doll or that doll but couldn’t have it. Ginny didn’t have the heart to tell her ‘no.’ “We’ll see,” she whispered hearing the echoes of her own mother in her head. “We’ll see.”
Draco sighed as he collapsed on the bed. He wasn’t watching the exchange. In fact, he was trying to tune out the voices of Cassie and Ginny. The encounter with his ex had been uncomfortable and disturbing. It had reminded him of a life he had lived years ago. He wanted to say that he was different now and that he was “grown up.” But the truth was that having a child hadn’t changed any of that. That boy was still inside him. And he wanted to get out.
He tried to remember what it had been like with her but he couldn’t really remember which one was her. They all blurred together. She could’ve been that one in Venice or that one in Bath. Who knew? His attempts to call back the specifics were futile.
“Draco?” Ginny asked. He couldn’t see her concerned face with his eyes closed.
“Mmm?” He grunted his only response. He was still trying to tune her out.
The closest thing he could remember was the last time he had been with a woman. It was months ago. He had stopped in some town, he couldn’t remember the name, during his depression and had stumbled across her. He wouldn’t have called her “pretty” to be exact. But there had been something about her that had captivated him. Something very specific about her...
“Are you ok?” It was Ginny again. She was getting annoying; he was trying to relive a pleasant memory here!
“Mmm,” he grunted his assent.
She had been the one to approach him. He just didn’t have the heart to make her leave him alone. She said he looked sad and sincerely wanted to help him. He tried telling her that she couldn’t help him, that no one could. She just laughed at him and told him he was being melodramatic.
“You don’t look all right,” Ginny continued.
Draco didn’t answer this time. He was thinking about the way she kissed, how soft her lips were. She had been soft all over. He especially remembered her hair. It was feather-light and tickled him. He had liked running his hands through it.
“Draco!” Ginny yelled more demandingly.
He closed his eyes tighter, trying to shut Ginny out. He was trying to remember. It seemed important some how, like his subconscious was trying to tell him something. He determinedly tried to hold onto his thoughts: Her hair. It was kind of curly and twirled around his fingers...
“DRACO!”
... It spilled down her back like a waterfall...
“Hello? Draco? DRACO!”
... No, it wasn’t like a waterfall. It had been like something else...
“Daddy?”
... Like leaping flames...
Like flames because, it had been red. Her hair was red. He had liked that about her.
His eyes snapped open. Ginny was looking at him with an odd expression. He saw something like concern flicker across her face before it was replaced by a glare. “What?” he croaked hoarsely, a little dazed and bewildered.
Cassie giggled from her perch in her mother’s arms. “You’re silly, Daddy.”
* * *
Lucius Malfoy stared dutifully ahead at his Master. The rest of the Death Eaters were circled around a black, marble table wearing similar rapt expressions. Their planned attack on the Ministry of Magic was rapidly approaching. It had been in the works for some time now. Several of the Death Eaters had been devoted to only this occasion for the last year. Voldemort was impatiently explaining every detail for the fourth time to the slower members.
Wormtail looked rather like a boy in Professor McGonagall’s transfiguration class, trying to force himself to remember every word. Crabbe and Goyle looked as though they planned on using their tried and true method of just doing what everyone else did. Walden MacNair was the most excited of the group. He had been dreaming of the day for ages. Severus Snape was staring at the Dark Lord with an unreadable expression. Lucius already knew Snape had every detail committed to memory.
Lucius wondered if Snape, or any of the other Death Eaters, thought this was as unnecessary as he did. The plan was relatively simple, certainly not the kind of thing Lucius would dream up. He had been only marginally involved in the planning, as he had been with every other scheme since he had failed to retrieve his granddaughter.
But still he felt gnawing anxiety building in his chest. This battle would be a turning point. If they captured the Ministry then Voldemort would put a new order in place. He would certainly need people to run it for him. Lucius snuck a glance at Snape, who was still wearing that same mask of no expression. Many of Voldemort’s most trusted Death Eaters had died in the fight or in Azkaban, Snape and Lucius himself were two of the only Death Eaters left with the skill or the brains it took to run a government.
He remembered young Draco’s voice now. “He’s the best teacher in the school, Father,” he said in the drawling, adoring voice of a twelve year old, “You should elect him Headmaster...”
Snape nodded thoughtfully as Voldemort said something to him, unaware of the jealous looks he was getting from Lucius. He couldn’t figure out how Snape did it. Surely Dumbledore had some idea that he was acting as their spy. Lucius didn’t have a high opinion of the man but he would’ve expected Dumbledore to catch on by now, unless he thought Snape was their spy... But how could he possibly think that Snape would turn on the Dark Lord? Snape had seen first had what Voldemort did to traitors and those who disobeyed him. Again, Lucius’ thoughts turned to his son.
He felt Voldemort’s cold eyes slithering over him, and tried to look firm. Now was the time, he thought as he steeled himself with new resolve. He would make sure this worked. He’d make Voldemort trust him again. Then, he’d be in power again. He’d be able to fix it. He’d fix it all and bend the world to his will.
“There’s still one more thing I have to take care of beforehand,” Voldemort was saying, but his voice sounded so far away.
Lucius tried not to react, knowing perfectly well what he was talking about. This had to happen, he reminded himself. Soon, things would be different...
* * *
Cassie cuddled up next to her father rather like she was trying to make a burrow in his side. Her tiny chest heaved up and down as she snored softly. Draco couldn’t really appreciate the irony of the situation. She had been the one to wake him up out of peaceful slumber. But now that it was “nap time,” as she called it, he couldn’t get to sleep no matter how tired he was.
He kept sneaking looks at Ginny, who was methodically making her own bed. He remembered very little of those nights they had spent together to conceive Cassie, but now it seemed like every single flash he had was painted on the back of his eyelids when he closed his eyes. What did this mean? Why were these thoughts haunting him now? The answers to these questions were more disturbing than leaving the questions unanswered.
Ginny turned around to look at him when she heard the thump of his head falling back against the pillow. She smiled at him pleasantly, completely unaware of the things going on in his head. “I thought you were Cassie again,” she whispered. Earlier, Cassie had been seized with fitful nightmares but she had mercifully quieted down since then.
“No, she’s good.” He wanted to say something else, to tell her but he was afraid of the possible reaction. Things had just become semi-normal between them and he didn’t want to jeopardize it. But he also knew this would be one of the few times he would have to discuss anything with here. They never got to have an adult conversation unless Cassie was asleep. “Ginny, I --” A polite knock at the door interrupted Draco in mid-sentence.
She grinned easily, with no clue of what was about to happen between them. “Hold that thought. I think that’s the maid.” She shook her head as she walked over to the door. Draco sure was acting strangely today. She wondered what he had been trying to say. He had looked so earnest. She bet that the moment had passed and he would say it was nothing when she got back. She knew him better than he thought.
So it was with a heavy regret that she turned the gold colored doorknob. It stuck and she had to really twist it to get the door open. This was deeply annoying, or perhaps she was annoyed over other things. The point was, Ginny wasn’t happy that there was somebody standing on the other side of her door.
She was even less happy when she saw who it was.
All Draco heard was a sharp cry of surprise then the loud bang as the door was quickly slammed shut again. “Draco!” she screamed. If Ginny had meant to say anything else, it never made it to her lips. It didn’t matter. The sheer panic in her voice instantly roused him from the bed. He rushed to see what was the matter. What he saw instead was Ginny’s body being flung across the room, along with the door, which had been blown off its hinges, and other various debris.
She landed in a heap at the foot of the other bed, the door in splinters covered her like a blanket. Fear gripped him. She wasn’t moving. She was unconscious... or worse.
“I thought this was going to be more difficult,” said a slippery voice from the doorframe. “Pleased to see I was wrong.”
Draco turned to meet the ruby-red eyes of Lord Voldemort himself. He lazily stepped into the room. Instinctively, Draco drew his wand and stood in front of Cassie’s no longer sleeping form. She sat upright in bed. Her watery eyes kept darting from Voldemort to where her mother lay. She was shaking so hard from the fear that no words came out.
There wasn’t any way out of this, or at least there wasnt one Draco could see. He was continuously looking for some escape. He couldn’t get to the door to run anyway. He wouldn’t leave Ginny and Cassie anyway. And he certainly couldn’t beat Voldemort in a wizard’s duel. His wand somehow seemed so useless now, like he was counting on a blanket to give him shelter in a tornado.
“Daddy!” Cassie squeaked, frightened. Both Voldemort and Draco turned to look at her. “Why won’t Mummy get up?” she sobbed.
Draco could think of no words to soothe her fears. He was wondering that himself. Voldemort, on the other hand, chuckled mirthlessly. “Oh, we can fix that,” he said slyly. “Imperio.”
Suddenly, Ginny’s body leaped to its feet like a puppet’s strings had just gone taunt. Cassie gasped from behind Draco. He couldn’t look to see if she was all right, his own eyes were riveted to Ginny’s blank stare. She was going to attack him. Draco knew what Voldemort was expecting. Good guys would rather die than hurt each other. He would just turn them on each other and then Draco would surrender.
Again, Draco’s mind began racing, looking for a way out. There were very few options and none of them were good. He could refuse to hurt Ginny. He did, after all, have these brand spanking new confusing feelings for her that made the idea of hurting her actually physically painful to him. Then Voldemort would capture all three of them. He’d do with Cassie whatever it was he had planned while Draco and Ginny would be tortured or killed. He could try to fight both Ginny and Voldemort which was an exercise in futility even without the redhead thrown into the mix.
All the while, Ginny was slowing advancing on Draco while Voldemort tried to gauge his reaction. Draco wasn’t readable at all. He hid his emotions very deep below the surface. All that Voldemort could gather was that he was acutely aware of the wand clutched in Ginny’s hand. It was the same one she had stolen from his loyal Death Eater.
“Ginny, you don’t want to do this,” Draco whispered, trying to think of what Harry Potter would say, which amounted to him saying the cheesiest things that came to mind. “Fight it.” Ginny didn’t appear to hear him or if she did, she didn’t respond except to continue toward him.
He frowned. This was useless. He was only doing what the Dark Lord had planned. He was supposed to be making things easier for himself not his opponent. “Sod it,” he grumbled. “STUPEFY!” Ginny instantly sank to the ground as the spell struck, her strings no longer being pulled.
Before Voldemort had time to adjust, to the change in plans, Draco whirled on him. “Conjuctiva!” the spell hit Voldemort squarely in his scarlet eye. He cried out angrily and grasped his head.
Draco rushed to the bed and pulled Cassie sharply into his arms. He ordered his mind to remember every nasty hex he had ever learned under the eerie, green light of the Slytherin common room. He hurled them incessantly at Voldemort. The Dark Lord had shrugged off any effect the curse had on him and he was now dodging Draco’s hexes like they were gnats buzzing around his ear.
He began to chant something in a unnaturally deep voice. It was in a language that Draco didn’t understand. The words caused a sense of dread to rise up in him. How could he fight something if he didn’t know what to expect? If the unknown were a tangible thing it would have been swirling around the pair like a dark mist.
Cassie screamed. Seconds later, Draco understood why. Slowly, she was rising in the air, lifting out of his arms. It was almost as if the wind was doing it with no aim or direction. He looked like the kind of thing Cassie would’ve enjoyed if it had happened under different circumstances. Draco desperately trying to grab hold of her. Every time he jumped, she would drift just that much further out of his reach, as if Voldemort were taunting him. He’d never catch her. He had to make it stop.
Draco turned to face Voldemort again. He was smirking at Draco who had looked rather silly hopping up and down trying to grab Cassie. Draco didn’t know what spell he could possibly to that Voldemort couldn’t deflect. And even if he could think of one, he wasn’t sure he could stop what he was doing to Cassie. He hated feeling so powerless. He wanted to be able to handle this, to save the day. What kind of father let his only child drift off with the man she feared most in the world?
Voldemort started to hiss some more words that Draco didn’t understand. He clasped his hands leisurely behind his back. All the while, sweat never appeared on his scaly skin. He wanted to make sure that Draco knew: he wasn’t a worthy opponent. The only proof that Voldemort even knew Draco was there was that he was glaring menacingly at him. His psychological tactics were working. Draco had never felt so useless in his entire life.
With the incantation finished, Voldemort stood back and waited for it to take effect. Draco watched helpless as his world began to darken. The edges of his vision, the tattered remnants of the room fogged over first then Ginny and Cassie disappeared until only Voldemort was left, smirking. Then everything went black and he felt his head slam against the floor but he didn’t hang onto unconsciousness long enough to feel the pain rip through his body.
The last thing he heard was Cassie. She was screaming for her father.
* * *
Draco didn’t know how long it was before he was roused by trembling hands shaking him. He blinked rapidly. The light was too much for his eyes. Slowly, everything blurred into focus, in the opposite manner of how he had come to be in this state in the first place. Now, instead of Voldemort standing in front of him, Ginny was crouched over him.
She was crying. Only small droplets of water fell down her face, as though the hysteria had passed but the pain wasn’t gone. He only needed one look at her to know. “He’s got her.”
With this declaration, Ginny broke into a fresh fit of sobs.
Draco was glad that she was all right. She had taken a pretty bad beating. He was amazed that they were both still intact. He glanced around the hotel room. The same thing couldn’t be said for it. It looked like a war had been fought there. They would definitely be charged extra. On some level he was annoyed that Voldemort hadn’t thought them dangerous to capture them too. He had just left them to their despair.
Ginny’s head was buried in her hands. He could hear muffled cries but that was all. He hadn’t the foggiest idea of what he should say to her. He knew there weren’t words that could make her feel any better. After all, he was an old pro at losing a child. He could already feel that familiar emptiness building in his stomach. He knew her pain. At the same time, he was worried about her. It was different for her. She wasn’t used to being alone, to having no one to love. As she cried herself silly, Draco worried that she would wear herself out. She was just crying so much. He didn’t know how it was possible. Of course, he hadn’t shed a tear yet.
“I’m sorry,” he said stonily. She looked up at him. He could see the trails of blotchy, red that the tears left on her sensitive skin. “I’m really sorry,” he said again when it became clear that she didn’t have the foggiest idea what he was apologizing for. “I couldn’t protect her.”
She made an effort to wipe the tears from her face. He rather wished she wouldn’t look at him with those big eyes and be shocked that he would think that it was his fault. It’d be easier if it was. Then she could get mad at him, put the Jelly Legs Jinx on him and feel better. But she didn’t blame him. She didn’t get mad, instead she said: “You tried. It was more than I could’ve hoped you’d do.” She smiled wryly, remembering their conversation the night he had arrived. “It was very Gryffindor of you.”
He hated to see her like this. She looked so empty, so afraid. She shivered violently even though the room were no colder than before. It just felt like it was, either because Voldemort had been there or because Cassie wasn’t. Draco painfully crawled onto the bed, to sit next to her. His whole body protested the effort. He didn’t know what to do for her or what else to say to her. He couldn’t think. Maybe it was because the reality of the situation hadn’t hit him yet. Or perhaps it was because of the sharp blow he had suffered to the head.
Draco stretched out his legs and looked at his shoes. Just a little while ago he had bought Cassie new shoes. He wondered if she missed him. He wondered if she was afraid. Voldemort could’ve done anything to her in the time that had elapsed. He wasn’t sure how long it had been since he had been passed out. For all intents and purposes, it was years ago that he taken his daughter shopping for shoes. How long they sat there was immeasurable. It felt like forever. Every moment was a new torture. He hoped to god it wasn’t the same for Cassie.
Eventually Ginny’s sobs quieted down and then ceased all together. At first, he was relieved. She was going to make herself sick. But it wasn’t as positive a thing as he had hoped. She merely stared straight ahead and didn’t even blink. She only moved to shiver. The fill the room filled with eerie silence.
“Come on, Ginny,” he breathed as he poked her, trying for some reaction out of her. She didn’t move, just stared ahead with unseeing eyes. “Ginny,” he tried again, “maybe you could lay down. I bet you’ll feel better in the morning,” he said this knowing full well that she could sleep like Princess Aurora and wouldn’t feel any different. Slumber would just be a pleasant distraction from this catatonia.
“I’ll lay here with you if you don’t want to be left alone,” he offered hopefully. Ginny didn’t answer. Her head dropped to the side, as if it were too heavy for her neck to hold up. Draco pulled her closer so it rested gently on his shoulder. Awkwardly, he stroked her hair, wondering how in the world he had become the one who had to comfort Ginny Weasley.
“Ginny...” he whispered almost desperately. She was frightening him now. He really didn’t want to lose both of his girls in one day. That would mean there was no one left. The only other person who had ever given a damn about him was his mum, and look what he had done to her. He was like the antithesis of King Midas: everything he touched turned to crap.
And then, just when he thought he’d never hear her voice again, she spoke. “I want me Mum,” she sobbed nuzzling closer to the warmth of his body. He could hear new tears in her voice. “I want my baby.” Sadly, he wrapped his arms tighter around her. He wouldn’t object to those things. “I want my family.”
Ok, he’d object to that one but only because her many brothers would probably beat him to a bloody pulp for getting their sister pregnant. For her sake though, he’d be willing to get them. Then he’d run for cover.
“We’ll get her back,” he murmured gently, trying to reassure himself as well.
Ginny looked up at him with hopeful eyes, still shining from the tears she had shed. Her lips quivered, like she was trying to think of something appropriate to say but was failing. It was rather unexpected, but not entirely unwanted, when she instead pressed her lips against his own.
For a brief moment, he was able to forget everything that had happened. Everything was simple. There was kissing and that was all. Her hands roamed from his hair to his back and then returned to his hair. She was warm and her lips were soft. It made him feel like he wasn’t alone anymore.
This was, after all, how it was supposed to be. It’s what he had pictured in his mind all those years when he thought them dead. He didn’t just want to be a father to Cassie, but a real family. A real family, like the ones he had seen at a distance. What he couldn’t figure out was why he hadn’t kissed her before. Cassie had continuously tried to get them together.
“You should kiss and make up,” she’d say hopefully then bounce up and down the way she did. And every time he’d get a lurch in his stomach but when the moment came, he’d hesitate. This isn’t the time, he’d think.
Unexpectedly, an image began to form in his head. It was Cassie. Then it was Ginny, crying softly. She wasn’t in any shape to be making these kind of decisions. Come to think of it, neither was he. The little girl had left a hole, and Ginny was trying to fill it. If he continued with this now, he’d never know if it was what she really wanted.
This isn’t the time, he thought.
Resignedly, he pushed her shoulders back. “Ginny...” he began, doubting whether he could properly describe why he was pushing her away when she needed him most. She looked at him, completely shattered. There was so much pain there, he knew he’d never be able to understand it completely. His heart was just two sizes too small.
“Dormio.” He cast the sleeping spell without thinking about what he was doing. Ginny’s body slumped against the mattress with a muted thud. Draco began the painful process of untangling his limbs from hers. He put a pillow beneath her head and covered her in blankets. He hoped she’d have untroubled dreams, but he doubted that was possible. He contemplated making the Sleeping Draught for her, but he didn’t have the proper ingredients or equipment.
Draco limped to the bathroom. He knew he’d never be able to stay out there with her, it was too tempting. Even though he’d much rather lay on a mattress than the hard, blue tile that lined the loo. He leaned against the wall, gradually falling to a sitting position. The cold tile was in sharp contrast to the heat on his skin. That was all Ginny’s fault. She was also to blame for his racing pulse.
He knew in his heart that this was what he had to do. But his body would never forgive him.
He sighed trying to figure out when he had become so damn chivalrous.
*
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