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Harry glanced up at a knock on his door. He sighed inwardly, knowing exactly what this meant. "Come in," he said with a distinct lack of enthusiasm.

Ginny stomped in, looking decidedly mutinous.

"Oh, don't tell me that we have to shag now," said Harry.

"I'm not any happier about it than you are," said Ginny, sitting down on the bed. "But you saved me from the Chamber of Secrets in second year, so now that I'm old enough to do some shagging, well..."

The door swung open again, and Hermione came in. "Oh, Ginny, you're here as well," she said distractedly. "I should have expected that, really. Do you want to go first with Harry, or should I?"

"You, please," said Ginny. "If you don't mind."

"Wait a minute!" exclaimed Harry. "Hermione... I've always thought of you as a sister... what on earth..."

"Yes, I know, Harry," sighed Hermione. "Only you saved me. Remember? In the Department of Mysteries?"

"Right," said Harry gloomily. "I suppose we'd better get to it, then. Ginny, if you wouldn't mind waiting outside-- where did she go?"

"I didn't think it was possible to leave skid marks on a bed," said Hermione. "Anyway, shouldn't we put Marvin Gaye on the gramophone, or something? It might improve the romantic atmosphere a bit."

"If you like," said Harry, getting up. As he did so, the door slammed open, revealing a highly aggrieved-looking Ron. Harry looked at him, an expression of dawning horror on his face.

"Oh, no," he said.

"Oh, yes," said Ron grimly. "You saved my life in the Department of Mysteries as well, remember? Oi! Hermione! Get off that bed. We need it. This shouldn't take long--"

"At this moment, an expanding charm might be a useful thing to place on this room as a whole," observed Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling sweetly behind half-moon spectacles as he stepped into the room. "Hello, Harry."

Harry opened and closed his mouth, but nothing came out.

"Oh dear," said Hermione. "You saved Profesor Dumbledore's life when you retrieved the last Horcrux, didn't you?"

"No... no..." moaned Harry in agony, nibbling at the edge of the blanket.

"Is there anything that Dobby can be doing for Harry Potter, sir?" squeaked Dobby adoringly, bouncing up and down on the bed where he had appeared. "Any personal services? Soothing massages? Extra house-elves to assist in unnatural positions?"

"Nooo...." came from under the coverlet where Harry had hidden his head.

"If I had given myself in my youth to the performance of magic tricks on the street," snarled an all-too-familiar voice from the doorjamb, "I should now be suffering less. Miss Granger, kindly remove yourself from that bed. Mr. Potter and I shall be requiring its use for an amount of time which, I can assure you, will be extremely brief."

"P-p-p-rofessor Snape?" whimpered Hermione. "But-- but I don't think Harry ever actually saved your life--"

"Unfortunately, Miss Granger, an extremely loose definition of saving lives has been adopted," said Snape, pulling the coverlet off Harry, who immediately dived under the bed. "In his second year, Mr. Potter inadvertantly saved the entire school when he closed the Chamber of Secrets, and, by definition, the lives of everyone currently residing in Hogwarts. Therefore, you may shortly expect the entire student body, all the teachers, and the entire staff inside this room. I believe that Filch has instituted a numbering system." He stuck his head under the bed, causing a curtain of rather greasy hair to sweep the floor. "You're going to be quite busy in the upcoming weeks, Mr. Potter. I shouldn't make things any harder on yourself than necessary. And please be advised that the ghosts are expecting their turn, as well. Peeves has apparently got hold of some enhancements from the Weasley twins that are quite... interesting, shall we say?"

Kreacher shuffled into the room, the usual dirty loincloth wound round his hips. "Kreacher does not want to do any filthy, nasty, dirty things with the Potter boy," he muttered resentfully. "Still, Kreacher can see that it might an improvement over his recent activities with Mr. Black's trousers, the photograph of Miss Bellatrix, and all of those dead doxies stuffed into a rubbish bin..."

"What?" asked Harry from his position on the floor, his voice quavering. "I didn't save Kreacher's life!"

"Well, in a way, you did," explained Hermione. "As his master, you actually might have killed him as soon as the ownership passed to you, and you didn't, so..."

"All right," sighed Harry. "I can see when I'm beaten. But you!" He raised a finger and stabbed it at Draco Malfoy, who had appeared in the doorway, smirking. "I never saved your life, you rat-faced fascist bully-boy! Out, out, out!"

Draco shook his head. "Temper, temper, Potter. I'd save my energy if I were you. Hagrid's on his way up the stairs right now, and he's bringing some unidentifiable creature or other with him."

Ignoring the general shrieks of horror, Draco turned to leave. He hadn't got halfway down the very crowded corridor, however, before he felt a small, warm hand slip into his. He looked down to see Ginny Weasley glaring up at him.

"Weasley?" he asked. "What do you want?"

"Does this mean that we all still have to sleep with Harry?" she asked, without preamble.

"Probably, yes," Draco sighed. "That saving-people-thing of his is dreadfully tedious. But they'll probably have to organize it in groups anyway, or we'll never get through. So it shouldn't be too unendurable."

"And to think that I was saving myself for him," sighed Ginny.

"I don't think you're quite spent, yet," said Draco with a devilishly raised eyebrow.

"Well, I'd always imagined more romance, somehow… or at least, not quite so many people hanging about the bed and playing Exploding Snap… they won't be getting round to us for awhile, will they?" asked Ginny thoughtfully.

"Oh, no." Draco shook his head. "Not for days...and days... and days. The Creevey brothers just showed up, along with all of their photographic equipment. I think they’re going to try to sell photos to Wanton Witch Weekly."

Ginny grabbed the handle of a Room of Requirement, which had helpfully appeared just behind them.

"Get in here now, Malfoy," she ordered, and Draco went. The door slammed shut. This was probably a good thing, since it meant that Draco and Ginny failed to hear Hermione's horrified shrieks of "Buckbeak, no! Get OFF this bed!", and also Ron’s awe-filled gasp of "Dad told me about the opening of the Sears tower, but this… this is impressive."

Actually, at that particular moment, Ginny was saying precisely the same thing. So all's well that ends well, as both Weasley siblings were currently finding out…  although at different ends.

~end~