Something to Believe
Chapter Thirteen: Song To Sing
---
Ginny opened her eyes slowly. She stretched and sighed, blinking against the morning light. She pulled herself reluctantly out of her warm bed and pulled on her dressing gown, which did little against the chill of her room.
She shuffled down the stairs and opened the door to the kitchen, expecting to find a bed-headed Draco waiting for something to eat. Instead, he was sitting at the table, fully dressed with his hair set, eating a bowl of cereal, and pouring through a thick tome.
"You're finally up! We have a lot of work to do today. Make us some tea," he said, not looking up from his book.
Ginny rolled her eyes at the direct order, and set about making the tea. Behind his back, she mimed hitting him over the head with the tea kettle. She sobered quickly when she saw the box of cereal on the table, reminding her of a morning full of laughter - and also her daydream, with the snitch.
By the time she set a teacup in front of Draco, he'd emptied his bowl, and with a wave of his wand, he sent it to the sink. Ginny looked on, jealously, as she sipped her own tea. She raked her fingers through her hair, acutely aware that she looked disheveled, sitting across from him, with his hair gelled, his cashmere turtleneck sweater, and his pressed pants.
He closed his book and caught her looking him up and down. He smirked and raised an eyebrow.
"You're pretty good with a knife, right?"
"I suppose."
"Then those ginger roots in the icebox should be no trouble. I'll show you what needs to be done. And mind, you have to freeze them again when you're through slicing them. They need to be iced for 10 days."
She nodded.
"And after that, you could start grinding some moonstone. We need a sizable amount of absolute fine powder, so that might take a while. I'll also be working on the dragon eggs and hellebore, meanwhile."
"Dragon eggs? Where'd you - "
"The twins, useful blokes. Seems they have a connection in Romania," Draco snorted, smirking at Ginny meaningfully, over the brim of his teacup.
After the breakfast dishes were cleaned and put away, Draco cast several cleaning spells on the counters and on the table. He handed Ginny a pair of soft leather gloves. As she pulled them on, he went to the icebox and took out a large sack.
"Use this cutting board, and this knife," he indicated each. He withdrew a root from the sack and set about peeling it. The fresh scent of ginger assaulted Ginny's senses. She watched him carefully make several slices, producing paperthin sheets of ginger.
"Think you can handle that?" She nodded and took the knife from him, her gloved fingers barely brushing against his. She hoped she wasn't blushing.
While she took up the task of peeling and slicing, making slow careful work of it, she heard Draco rummaging through the pots and pans. She paused in her work, and turned to look.
"What're you looking for?"
"I need a large pot, something heavy," he said, moving to the stove and kindling a steady flame. Ginny gestured to the cupboard next to the stove. He opened it and, after a moment of rearranging the cookware within, he withdrew what he needed.
Ginny turned back to her roots, as he set the large pot on the stove, and with a spell, filled it with water. He left the room, and within a few moments, he returned, clutching several packages, including the wooden crate the twins had brought.
He set them on the table, and started opening them carefully. From the crate he withdrew several large green eggs. He checked each one, about twelve or so, and set them on the counter beside the stove. He checked the boiling water and lowered the green eggs into the pot.
Ginny watched him sit back down at the table. Draco pulled on dragonskin gloves and take a bundle of purple flowered herbs from one of the packets. He inspected them closely and started dissecting each plant gently with his fingers.
"What're those?" she asked, a bit startled seeing the wildflowers in his hand.
"Hellebore. Bit poisonous, so I'd better do this carefully, if you don't mind," he answered, focusing on the blossoms.
They worked slowly and quietly for most of the morning. The silence of the room was broken only by Ginny's knife hitting the cutting board, and the occasional deep tuneless hum from Draco's throat.
---
"Do you always hum when you work on potions?" Ginny was setting a plate of sandwiches between them in the study. She handed him a glass of juice.
"Only when I'm alone," he answered.
"And what am I, then? Bubotuber pus?"
He smirked at her, reaching for a sandwich.
She rolled her eyes and took a bite of her sandwich. She chewed slowly, frowning at the lingering smell of ginger on her fingers.
"Bet you can't wait to get out of here, eh?" she asked, watching his face expectantly.
"Where would I go?"
"Your manor, perhaps - of course, anything would be better than this place," she said, finishing her sandwich.
"The Manor would feel so cold and empty this time of year... It's truly lovely in springtime, when the garden comes alive and..." His voice trailed off and he took a savage bite from his sandwich. "Are you asking because, in actuality, you want to get out of here?"
"I suppose," she shrugged. "I would love to go home."
"Perhaps you could go for a visit or something. If you're so desperate to get out of here, you could go stay with your twin brothers or something," he shrugged, glaring at his glass of juice.
"I'm not that desperate. I just...want to get out more. See the sky, breath fresh air. Merlin, I'd give anything to ride a broom again," she sighed.
"Me, too." She saw his face soften, looking less bitter and more weary. He took a slow pull from his glass.
"I suppose you're missing your girlfriend as well?"
Ginny laughed when he sprayed out a mouthful of juice. He glared at her, while conjuring a napkin.
"Pray tell, what girlfriend would this be?"
"Pansy Parkinson - isn't she your - "
"Oh, please, Weasley," he drawled, dabbing the napkin over his mouth. She just smirked at him and shrugged.
"Harry also mentioned a couple little girls constantly following you around..."
"That? That was Crabbe and Goyle!"
"Ah, kinky!" Ginny burst into laughter as Draco rolled his eyes, and reluctantly joined her.
Ginny stood and collected the empty plate and glasses.
"Shall we get back to work?"
"Just a moment, I need to talk to you first."
"About what?"
"I need you to tell me about the Chamber of Secrets, Weasley." She felt herself freeze, the dishes in her hands suddenly felt very heavy.
"Why? I thought you already knew," she whispered, her eyes unfocused. Her knees were about to give out, so she dropped back into her seat.
"I need to hear it from you. The bits and pieces that I've assembled from others...I asked Granger to tell me, but she said to ask you."
Draco took the plate from her compliant fingers and set it back on the table.
"I'm sorry. I just need to know, before we really start working on this potion. And I can't put it off much longer. Just start from the beginning. And take your time. You'll find I'm a decent listener."
It was a few moments before Ginny could feel herself breath again. She relaxed into her chair, and tried collecting her thoughts. Start from the beginning.
"Well, before my first year, I was spellotaping my books, they were all secondhand," she said, waiting for him to make a remark. He didn't, so she continued, "And I found a small black diary that I figured my mum bought for me. To help cope with my first year away from home and such." Ginny brought a hand up her face, to help hide it from Draco.
"My father put that diary in with your things," he said.
"I didn't know that at the time. So being a silly little girl, I started writing in it. And to my surprise, it wrote back! I learned that the diary had once belonged to him - his name was Tom Riddle and he had been a student at Hogwarts, he was a Slytherin and Head Boy. I wrote to him, and he would write back. We wrote about anything and everything. And at the time, I was most obsessed with - "
She snuck a glance at Draco to see that he was watching her closely. When she stopped abruptly, he raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to continue.
"Well, I started to write about Harry," she flinched when he scowled, "Now imagine this, I mention that Harry Potter, the savior of the wizarding world, the one who defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, was best friends with my brother - and Tom was extremely interested. He wanted to know everything about Harry and everything about Voldemort," Ginny saw Draco clutch at his left forearm.
"And I told him. I told him everything he wanted to hear. I even told him things he didn't ask about - things I just wanted to share with him. And aside from Harry and Voldemort, I wrote about everything from the trivial and mundane to my heart's deepest, darkest desires. I poured my heart and soul into that book. And that's exactly what he wanted. My soul..."
Draco stirred a moment, and reached over to grab her quivering hand. Ginny blinked back a few tears and held his fingers tightly. The pressure seemed to ground her, allowing her to continue.
"It was pretty early in my first year when he started to show me his memories. I'd get sucked into the book, taken back in time to observe things he wanted me to see. And it was only a bit after that, that he started possessing me. I'd blackout and wake up with no memory of things I did. I'd wake up to find myself in an unusual place, covered in paint, or chicken feathers, or... blood. And I started hearing about strange things going on in the school - and - and - I just..."
---
Though she talked slowly, and stuttered quite a bit, she managed to spill everything she could. She told him about everything - even about trying to tell her brothers what was going on. Trying to destroy the diary. Finding out that Harry had it - how she took it back, not wanting him to know of the things she had done.
She told him things she refused to tell her mother, and things she swore she'd never say aloud. She told him about her recurring nightmares. She told him about the way she'd still lose herself to the darkness sometimes - especially when she was alone and sad. She told him about her greatest fear: losing the ability to act, feeling helpless and alone and not in control.
Draco sat there quietly, listening, squeezing her hand and allowing her to cry. Soon the tears stopped and she sat there numbly, staring straight ahead.
Ginny felt a tug on her hand, and Draco pulled her from her seat and onto his lap. He cradled her carefully, and ran a hand through her hair. He wiped away her tears and pulled her head to his chest. She allowed herself to be held, while her breathing slowed down.
"I never want to feel that again...Possessed...Not in control...I was completely helpless," she murmured, burying her face in his soft gray sweater. Finally she pulled back, looking up at his face. She was stunned to see his eyes brimming with tears.
"Go have a bath to relax yourself, Ginevra. At the least, you'll no longer reek of ginger," he pushed her off her lap, and she stumbled to stand. She left the room, looking over her shoulder to see him cover his eyes with a hand.
---
After scrubbing hard, Ginny sank a little deeper into her bath. She raised a hand to her face and sniffed tentatively. The faint hint of ginger mixed nicely with the smell of citrus and roses. She smiled, shakily. It was alright, she told herself. She was safe. She was OK. There was no need to be worried. And she knew that Draco deserved to know what he was dealing with - especially since he was working so hard brewing this potion for her.
Her thoughts strayed a moment to the tender way he embraced her a few minutes ago. She'd been too numb and distracted to fully appreciate it, but he'd been perfectly...well, perfectly comforting. He'd stroked her hair, like her mum did. He'd wiped away her tears. That was quite an advancing step for Draco. She'll have to tease him about it later.
She rose from her bath and dried herself. She dressed in leggings, her favorite dress, and a cardigan. She stood in front of the mirror and inspected her pale face. She drew her hairbrush through her damp hair, with a few swift strokes. She set down the brush and sighed. She felt better. Better than she'd ever felt before. For some reason, she felt like a burden had been relieved.
Ginny followed the nerve-grating sounds coming from the kitchen. She pushed open the door to find Draco seated at the table. He was wincing visibly as he ground moonstone with a pestle. She saw that the dragon eggs were still in the bubbling water on the stove.
She stood across from him a moment, wringing her hands and trying to think of something wry and witty to say. Nothing was coming to mind, so she just stood there blankly.
Draco looked up at her, and let his pestle rest in the mortar. He stood and gracefully came around the table. He stopped, towering over her, staring down at her hair, and waited for her to act. Finally he spoke, in a soft voice that she barely recognized as his.
"I'm sorry I made you go through all that..."
"For some reason, I feel better about it all," she shrugged, meeting his gray eyes. He nodded and looked away.
"You want to help me with this moonstone?" She nodded and he conjured another mortar and pestle on the table. He instructed her on what to do and they worked together, ignoring the irritating sound they produced.
Occasionally, over the crunching and grinding, Ginny could hear Draco humming softly.
---
"I wonder if you've got a decent singing voice, Malfoy," she yawned. They'd just finished a late supper by the fire in the study. Draco had sent the dishes to the sink in the kitchen with a wave of his wand.
He replied by humming a soft tune. She recognized it to be a song by Celestina Warbeck. She giggled, unable to believe that he was humming a song her mum would swoon over.
He suddenly stood and grabbed her hands, dragging her to her feet. He clutched her right hand and guided the other to his shoulder. He swung them around easily in a waltz, starting to sing, in a deep, resonating voice:
"Come, come and stir my cauldron, cuz if you do it right..."
Ginny laughed, headily, feeling a rush, her barefeet moving quickly to keep up. He spun her, with his usual grace, and pulled her back to him. Her hands were pressed to his chest, as she tried to keep her balance, and his hands tightly clenched on her waist, they both swayed, eyes locked.
Ginny felt the smile drop from her face, her heart pounding somewhere near her throat, and even Draco's voice faltered a little.
"If you do it right...Do it right...I'll boil you up some hot strong love, to keep you warm..."
His voice trailed off as his gray eyes dropped to her mouth. He licked his lips and then resumed their earlier waltz stance, keeping a foot of distance between them.
"To keep you warm tonight..."
They slowed to a stop, neither willing to unclasp their joined hands.
"My mother's favorite song," he mumbled.
"You have a beautiful voice," Ginny commented, serenely, her voice oddly husky, "Know anything by the Weird Sisters?"
She found herself unable to hide the burning look in her eyes. He snorted.
"I think all that moonstone has made you giddy. You don't know what you're saying," he smirked down at her face. He dropped her hand and stepped away.
"I feel relaxed. I feel happy. If that's thanks to the moonstone, then so be it," Ginny said, twirling on the spot with her arms extended.
"I think it's time to sleep. We'll have another long day of preparations tomorrow."
"When are you actually going to start brewing?" She was still spinning around, dancing to imaginary music.
"Not for at least a week - the ingredients take time to prepare. Those dragon eggs have to boil for - "
He was cut off when Ginny threw herself dizzily into his arms. He tensed as he steadied her, holding her by her shoulders.
"Alright, let's go," he whispered, turning her around and guiding her to the stairs. "I have a bit of work to finish up, got to set up a work schedule - and by the time I come up to my room, your light had better be out. Understood?" He opened her door and pushed her in.
"Yessir!" she saluted him, while giggling uncontrollably. He shut the door behind her and she changed into her nightdress. She brushed her teeth, while humming A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love.
Not quite ready for bed, Ginny paced her room. She gravitated to the small boxes and packages on her desk. She picked up a familiar colorful one, labeled Daydream Charm.
She felt a unexpected shard of fear slice into her as she considered the charm. It was a charm that took her to another place, another time. It showed her things, whether or not it was partly controlled by her own brain - there was a certain feeling of helplessness. She shuddered.
She was being silly, really. There was no harm in a stupid daydream. She'd done it before. So many people had. She clutched the box and moved to sit on her bed. She was being ridiculous, and to prove it to herself, she tore open the box.
---
She was lying on the floor, feeling warm and sated. Over the soft crackle of the fire beside her, she could hear the Wireless playing a soft, slow tune by Celestina Warbeck. She lazily sat up, crossing her legs.
She was at the Burrow. Home. The small sitting room was cluttered with furniture, looking cozy and inviting and positively beautiful. She'd missed this. Safe and comfortable. Home.
She looked around and was stunned to see someone slumped in the chair behind her. His face was hidden by the hood of his green cloak, but she had a feeling she knew who it was. She stood and approached him, warily. She raised a hand, slowly, about to shove aside the hood, when his hands darted forward, one grabbing her wrist, the other winding around her waist.
With a laugh, he threw aside his cloak, and revealed, once again, was Draco Malfoy - his white blond hair completely mussed, his bright eyes smiling at her. She took a moment to admire his features, and he took that moment to throw them both to the floor. He smiled down at her and pinned her arms down at her sides.
"Thought you could surprise me, eh?"
She instantly struggled against him, laughing. Before she could react, his fingers released her wrists and found their way to her stomach.
"Oh no, please, no!" she squealed with laughter as she wriggled beneath him.
"I'll only stop if you promise me something!"
"Anything - any - thing - " His fingers found the soft skin at the side of her waist. She twisted around, trying to free herself. She felt tears well in her eyes with mirth.
"Promise me you'll - "
"What!"
"Sing me a song," he whispered in her ear, stopping his attack abruptly. She lay beneath him, panting, staring up into his twinkling eyes.
"A song? That's all?"
"Do it fast, or I'll resume where I left off," he threatened, moving his warm hands to her hips and squeezing. It took her breath away.
"What shall I sing?"
"Hmm," his deep voice strummed through her a moment, as he leaned closer. And pressing soft, tickling kisses to her neck, he whispered, "Know anything by the Weird Sisters?"
---
A short while later, she found herself sitting on her bed, trembling. She threw the stupid box across the room and crossed her arms. Why was it that her daydreams always seemed to end up with Draco - Malfoy - kissing her senseless. And he was always so...happy. Always smiling. It was positively irritating. She threw on her dressing gown, deciding it was rather hot in her room and she'd need a cold glass of milk before bed.
She padded quietly down the stairs to the foyer and was about to turn down toward the kitchen when a light down the hallway caught her attention. The fire was still lit in the study. Could Draco have forgotten to set it out before he retired? She wandered down the hall and pushed open the door.
"You still up - "
The words died on her lips when she saw Draco was on his knees, cradling his left arm to his chest. He was shaking and tears were streaking down his face.
"Oh my god," she cried, rushing forward, not knowing what to do.
"Don't touch me - don't - " he muttered through clenched teeth. She dropped to her knees in front of him, watching him, helplessly. Minutes passed, and she continued to watch the wince on his face. It slowly shifted into a bitter scowl. He took a gasping breath and seemed to snap out of a trance. He immediately raised his hands to viciously wipe away his tears.
"What the hell are you doing down here?"
Ginny was a bit surprised by the biting tone he used, but instead of putting up a fight, like she normally would, she leaned forward and collected him in her arms. He didn't resist and collapsed against her.
"Are you alright?"
"Yes," he answered angrily, raising a hand to wipe away more tears. "I'm fine...Bloody used to it by now."
Ginny felt a bit guilty about her silly Daydream Charm from earlier. Here, in her arms, the real Draco Malfoy was trembling and taking shuddering breaths. She rested her cheek on the silky hair on top of his head, waiting for him to recover himself and push her away.
Chapter Thirteen: Song To Sing
---
Ginny opened her eyes slowly. She stretched and sighed, blinking against the morning light. She pulled herself reluctantly out of her warm bed and pulled on her dressing gown, which did little against the chill of her room.
She shuffled down the stairs and opened the door to the kitchen, expecting to find a bed-headed Draco waiting for something to eat. Instead, he was sitting at the table, fully dressed with his hair set, eating a bowl of cereal, and pouring through a thick tome.
"You're finally up! We have a lot of work to do today. Make us some tea," he said, not looking up from his book.
Ginny rolled her eyes at the direct order, and set about making the tea. Behind his back, she mimed hitting him over the head with the tea kettle. She sobered quickly when she saw the box of cereal on the table, reminding her of a morning full of laughter - and also her daydream, with the snitch.
By the time she set a teacup in front of Draco, he'd emptied his bowl, and with a wave of his wand, he sent it to the sink. Ginny looked on, jealously, as she sipped her own tea. She raked her fingers through her hair, acutely aware that she looked disheveled, sitting across from him, with his hair gelled, his cashmere turtleneck sweater, and his pressed pants.
He closed his book and caught her looking him up and down. He smirked and raised an eyebrow.
"You're pretty good with a knife, right?"
"I suppose."
"Then those ginger roots in the icebox should be no trouble. I'll show you what needs to be done. And mind, you have to freeze them again when you're through slicing them. They need to be iced for 10 days."
She nodded.
"And after that, you could start grinding some moonstone. We need a sizable amount of absolute fine powder, so that might take a while. I'll also be working on the dragon eggs and hellebore, meanwhile."
"Dragon eggs? Where'd you - "
"The twins, useful blokes. Seems they have a connection in Romania," Draco snorted, smirking at Ginny meaningfully, over the brim of his teacup.
After the breakfast dishes were cleaned and put away, Draco cast several cleaning spells on the counters and on the table. He handed Ginny a pair of soft leather gloves. As she pulled them on, he went to the icebox and took out a large sack.
"Use this cutting board, and this knife," he indicated each. He withdrew a root from the sack and set about peeling it. The fresh scent of ginger assaulted Ginny's senses. She watched him carefully make several slices, producing paperthin sheets of ginger.
"Think you can handle that?" She nodded and took the knife from him, her gloved fingers barely brushing against his. She hoped she wasn't blushing.
While she took up the task of peeling and slicing, making slow careful work of it, she heard Draco rummaging through the pots and pans. She paused in her work, and turned to look.
"What're you looking for?"
"I need a large pot, something heavy," he said, moving to the stove and kindling a steady flame. Ginny gestured to the cupboard next to the stove. He opened it and, after a moment of rearranging the cookware within, he withdrew what he needed.
Ginny turned back to her roots, as he set the large pot on the stove, and with a spell, filled it with water. He left the room, and within a few moments, he returned, clutching several packages, including the wooden crate the twins had brought.
He set them on the table, and started opening them carefully. From the crate he withdrew several large green eggs. He checked each one, about twelve or so, and set them on the counter beside the stove. He checked the boiling water and lowered the green eggs into the pot.
Ginny watched him sit back down at the table. Draco pulled on dragonskin gloves and take a bundle of purple flowered herbs from one of the packets. He inspected them closely and started dissecting each plant gently with his fingers.
"What're those?" she asked, a bit startled seeing the wildflowers in his hand.
"Hellebore. Bit poisonous, so I'd better do this carefully, if you don't mind," he answered, focusing on the blossoms.
They worked slowly and quietly for most of the morning. The silence of the room was broken only by Ginny's knife hitting the cutting board, and the occasional deep tuneless hum from Draco's throat.
---
"Do you always hum when you work on potions?" Ginny was setting a plate of sandwiches between them in the study. She handed him a glass of juice.
"Only when I'm alone," he answered.
"And what am I, then? Bubotuber pus?"
He smirked at her, reaching for a sandwich.
She rolled her eyes and took a bite of her sandwich. She chewed slowly, frowning at the lingering smell of ginger on her fingers.
"Bet you can't wait to get out of here, eh?" she asked, watching his face expectantly.
"Where would I go?"
"Your manor, perhaps - of course, anything would be better than this place," she said, finishing her sandwich.
"The Manor would feel so cold and empty this time of year... It's truly lovely in springtime, when the garden comes alive and..." His voice trailed off and he took a savage bite from his sandwich. "Are you asking because, in actuality, you want to get out of here?"
"I suppose," she shrugged. "I would love to go home."
"Perhaps you could go for a visit or something. If you're so desperate to get out of here, you could go stay with your twin brothers or something," he shrugged, glaring at his glass of juice.
"I'm not that desperate. I just...want to get out more. See the sky, breath fresh air. Merlin, I'd give anything to ride a broom again," she sighed.
"Me, too." She saw his face soften, looking less bitter and more weary. He took a slow pull from his glass.
"I suppose you're missing your girlfriend as well?"
Ginny laughed when he sprayed out a mouthful of juice. He glared at her, while conjuring a napkin.
"Pray tell, what girlfriend would this be?"
"Pansy Parkinson - isn't she your - "
"Oh, please, Weasley," he drawled, dabbing the napkin over his mouth. She just smirked at him and shrugged.
"Harry also mentioned a couple little girls constantly following you around..."
"That? That was Crabbe and Goyle!"
"Ah, kinky!" Ginny burst into laughter as Draco rolled his eyes, and reluctantly joined her.
Ginny stood and collected the empty plate and glasses.
"Shall we get back to work?"
"Just a moment, I need to talk to you first."
"About what?"
"I need you to tell me about the Chamber of Secrets, Weasley." She felt herself freeze, the dishes in her hands suddenly felt very heavy.
"Why? I thought you already knew," she whispered, her eyes unfocused. Her knees were about to give out, so she dropped back into her seat.
"I need to hear it from you. The bits and pieces that I've assembled from others...I asked Granger to tell me, but she said to ask you."
Draco took the plate from her compliant fingers and set it back on the table.
"I'm sorry. I just need to know, before we really start working on this potion. And I can't put it off much longer. Just start from the beginning. And take your time. You'll find I'm a decent listener."
It was a few moments before Ginny could feel herself breath again. She relaxed into her chair, and tried collecting her thoughts. Start from the beginning.
"Well, before my first year, I was spellotaping my books, they were all secondhand," she said, waiting for him to make a remark. He didn't, so she continued, "And I found a small black diary that I figured my mum bought for me. To help cope with my first year away from home and such." Ginny brought a hand up her face, to help hide it from Draco.
"My father put that diary in with your things," he said.
"I didn't know that at the time. So being a silly little girl, I started writing in it. And to my surprise, it wrote back! I learned that the diary had once belonged to him - his name was Tom Riddle and he had been a student at Hogwarts, he was a Slytherin and Head Boy. I wrote to him, and he would write back. We wrote about anything and everything. And at the time, I was most obsessed with - "
She snuck a glance at Draco to see that he was watching her closely. When she stopped abruptly, he raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to continue.
"Well, I started to write about Harry," she flinched when he scowled, "Now imagine this, I mention that Harry Potter, the savior of the wizarding world, the one who defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, was best friends with my brother - and Tom was extremely interested. He wanted to know everything about Harry and everything about Voldemort," Ginny saw Draco clutch at his left forearm.
"And I told him. I told him everything he wanted to hear. I even told him things he didn't ask about - things I just wanted to share with him. And aside from Harry and Voldemort, I wrote about everything from the trivial and mundane to my heart's deepest, darkest desires. I poured my heart and soul into that book. And that's exactly what he wanted. My soul..."
Draco stirred a moment, and reached over to grab her quivering hand. Ginny blinked back a few tears and held his fingers tightly. The pressure seemed to ground her, allowing her to continue.
"It was pretty early in my first year when he started to show me his memories. I'd get sucked into the book, taken back in time to observe things he wanted me to see. And it was only a bit after that, that he started possessing me. I'd blackout and wake up with no memory of things I did. I'd wake up to find myself in an unusual place, covered in paint, or chicken feathers, or... blood. And I started hearing about strange things going on in the school - and - and - I just..."
---
Though she talked slowly, and stuttered quite a bit, she managed to spill everything she could. She told him about everything - even about trying to tell her brothers what was going on. Trying to destroy the diary. Finding out that Harry had it - how she took it back, not wanting him to know of the things she had done.
She told him things she refused to tell her mother, and things she swore she'd never say aloud. She told him about her recurring nightmares. She told him about the way she'd still lose herself to the darkness sometimes - especially when she was alone and sad. She told him about her greatest fear: losing the ability to act, feeling helpless and alone and not in control.
Draco sat there quietly, listening, squeezing her hand and allowing her to cry. Soon the tears stopped and she sat there numbly, staring straight ahead.
Ginny felt a tug on her hand, and Draco pulled her from her seat and onto his lap. He cradled her carefully, and ran a hand through her hair. He wiped away her tears and pulled her head to his chest. She allowed herself to be held, while her breathing slowed down.
"I never want to feel that again...Possessed...Not in control...I was completely helpless," she murmured, burying her face in his soft gray sweater. Finally she pulled back, looking up at his face. She was stunned to see his eyes brimming with tears.
"Go have a bath to relax yourself, Ginevra. At the least, you'll no longer reek of ginger," he pushed her off her lap, and she stumbled to stand. She left the room, looking over her shoulder to see him cover his eyes with a hand.
---
After scrubbing hard, Ginny sank a little deeper into her bath. She raised a hand to her face and sniffed tentatively. The faint hint of ginger mixed nicely with the smell of citrus and roses. She smiled, shakily. It was alright, she told herself. She was safe. She was OK. There was no need to be worried. And she knew that Draco deserved to know what he was dealing with - especially since he was working so hard brewing this potion for her.
Her thoughts strayed a moment to the tender way he embraced her a few minutes ago. She'd been too numb and distracted to fully appreciate it, but he'd been perfectly...well, perfectly comforting. He'd stroked her hair, like her mum did. He'd wiped away her tears. That was quite an advancing step for Draco. She'll have to tease him about it later.
She rose from her bath and dried herself. She dressed in leggings, her favorite dress, and a cardigan. She stood in front of the mirror and inspected her pale face. She drew her hairbrush through her damp hair, with a few swift strokes. She set down the brush and sighed. She felt better. Better than she'd ever felt before. For some reason, she felt like a burden had been relieved.
Ginny followed the nerve-grating sounds coming from the kitchen. She pushed open the door to find Draco seated at the table. He was wincing visibly as he ground moonstone with a pestle. She saw that the dragon eggs were still in the bubbling water on the stove.
She stood across from him a moment, wringing her hands and trying to think of something wry and witty to say. Nothing was coming to mind, so she just stood there blankly.
Draco looked up at her, and let his pestle rest in the mortar. He stood and gracefully came around the table. He stopped, towering over her, staring down at her hair, and waited for her to act. Finally he spoke, in a soft voice that she barely recognized as his.
"I'm sorry I made you go through all that..."
"For some reason, I feel better about it all," she shrugged, meeting his gray eyes. He nodded and looked away.
"You want to help me with this moonstone?" She nodded and he conjured another mortar and pestle on the table. He instructed her on what to do and they worked together, ignoring the irritating sound they produced.
Occasionally, over the crunching and grinding, Ginny could hear Draco humming softly.
---
"I wonder if you've got a decent singing voice, Malfoy," she yawned. They'd just finished a late supper by the fire in the study. Draco had sent the dishes to the sink in the kitchen with a wave of his wand.
He replied by humming a soft tune. She recognized it to be a song by Celestina Warbeck. She giggled, unable to believe that he was humming a song her mum would swoon over.
He suddenly stood and grabbed her hands, dragging her to her feet. He clutched her right hand and guided the other to his shoulder. He swung them around easily in a waltz, starting to sing, in a deep, resonating voice:
"Come, come and stir my cauldron, cuz if you do it right..."
Ginny laughed, headily, feeling a rush, her barefeet moving quickly to keep up. He spun her, with his usual grace, and pulled her back to him. Her hands were pressed to his chest, as she tried to keep her balance, and his hands tightly clenched on her waist, they both swayed, eyes locked.
Ginny felt the smile drop from her face, her heart pounding somewhere near her throat, and even Draco's voice faltered a little.
"If you do it right...Do it right...I'll boil you up some hot strong love, to keep you warm..."
His voice trailed off as his gray eyes dropped to her mouth. He licked his lips and then resumed their earlier waltz stance, keeping a foot of distance between them.
"To keep you warm tonight..."
They slowed to a stop, neither willing to unclasp their joined hands.
"My mother's favorite song," he mumbled.
"You have a beautiful voice," Ginny commented, serenely, her voice oddly husky, "Know anything by the Weird Sisters?"
She found herself unable to hide the burning look in her eyes. He snorted.
"I think all that moonstone has made you giddy. You don't know what you're saying," he smirked down at her face. He dropped her hand and stepped away.
"I feel relaxed. I feel happy. If that's thanks to the moonstone, then so be it," Ginny said, twirling on the spot with her arms extended.
"I think it's time to sleep. We'll have another long day of preparations tomorrow."
"When are you actually going to start brewing?" She was still spinning around, dancing to imaginary music.
"Not for at least a week - the ingredients take time to prepare. Those dragon eggs have to boil for - "
He was cut off when Ginny threw herself dizzily into his arms. He tensed as he steadied her, holding her by her shoulders.
"Alright, let's go," he whispered, turning her around and guiding her to the stairs. "I have a bit of work to finish up, got to set up a work schedule - and by the time I come up to my room, your light had better be out. Understood?" He opened her door and pushed her in.
"Yessir!" she saluted him, while giggling uncontrollably. He shut the door behind her and she changed into her nightdress. She brushed her teeth, while humming A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love.
Not quite ready for bed, Ginny paced her room. She gravitated to the small boxes and packages on her desk. She picked up a familiar colorful one, labeled Daydream Charm.
She felt a unexpected shard of fear slice into her as she considered the charm. It was a charm that took her to another place, another time. It showed her things, whether or not it was partly controlled by her own brain - there was a certain feeling of helplessness. She shuddered.
She was being silly, really. There was no harm in a stupid daydream. She'd done it before. So many people had. She clutched the box and moved to sit on her bed. She was being ridiculous, and to prove it to herself, she tore open the box.
---
She was lying on the floor, feeling warm and sated. Over the soft crackle of the fire beside her, she could hear the Wireless playing a soft, slow tune by Celestina Warbeck. She lazily sat up, crossing her legs.
She was at the Burrow. Home. The small sitting room was cluttered with furniture, looking cozy and inviting and positively beautiful. She'd missed this. Safe and comfortable. Home.
She looked around and was stunned to see someone slumped in the chair behind her. His face was hidden by the hood of his green cloak, but she had a feeling she knew who it was. She stood and approached him, warily. She raised a hand, slowly, about to shove aside the hood, when his hands darted forward, one grabbing her wrist, the other winding around her waist.
With a laugh, he threw aside his cloak, and revealed, once again, was Draco Malfoy - his white blond hair completely mussed, his bright eyes smiling at her. She took a moment to admire his features, and he took that moment to throw them both to the floor. He smiled down at her and pinned her arms down at her sides.
"Thought you could surprise me, eh?"
She instantly struggled against him, laughing. Before she could react, his fingers released her wrists and found their way to her stomach.
"Oh no, please, no!" she squealed with laughter as she wriggled beneath him.
"I'll only stop if you promise me something!"
"Anything - any - thing - " His fingers found the soft skin at the side of her waist. She twisted around, trying to free herself. She felt tears well in her eyes with mirth.
"Promise me you'll - "
"What!"
"Sing me a song," he whispered in her ear, stopping his attack abruptly. She lay beneath him, panting, staring up into his twinkling eyes.
"A song? That's all?"
"Do it fast, or I'll resume where I left off," he threatened, moving his warm hands to her hips and squeezing. It took her breath away.
"What shall I sing?"
"Hmm," his deep voice strummed through her a moment, as he leaned closer. And pressing soft, tickling kisses to her neck, he whispered, "Know anything by the Weird Sisters?"
---
A short while later, she found herself sitting on her bed, trembling. She threw the stupid box across the room and crossed her arms. Why was it that her daydreams always seemed to end up with Draco - Malfoy - kissing her senseless. And he was always so...happy. Always smiling. It was positively irritating. She threw on her dressing gown, deciding it was rather hot in her room and she'd need a cold glass of milk before bed.
She padded quietly down the stairs to the foyer and was about to turn down toward the kitchen when a light down the hallway caught her attention. The fire was still lit in the study. Could Draco have forgotten to set it out before he retired? She wandered down the hall and pushed open the door.
"You still up - "
The words died on her lips when she saw Draco was on his knees, cradling his left arm to his chest. He was shaking and tears were streaking down his face.
"Oh my god," she cried, rushing forward, not knowing what to do.
"Don't touch me - don't - " he muttered through clenched teeth. She dropped to her knees in front of him, watching him, helplessly. Minutes passed, and she continued to watch the wince on his face. It slowly shifted into a bitter scowl. He took a gasping breath and seemed to snap out of a trance. He immediately raised his hands to viciously wipe away his tears.
"What the hell are you doing down here?"
Ginny was a bit surprised by the biting tone he used, but instead of putting up a fight, like she normally would, she leaned forward and collected him in her arms. He didn't resist and collapsed against her.
"Are you alright?"
"Yes," he answered angrily, raising a hand to wipe away more tears. "I'm fine...Bloody used to it by now."
Ginny felt a bit guilty about her silly Daydream Charm from earlier. Here, in her arms, the real Draco Malfoy was trembling and taking shuddering breaths. She rested her cheek on the silky hair on top of his head, waiting for him to recover himself and push her away.
Author notes: Thanks so much for the reviews!
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