Title: You've Got Mail
Author: twiddlekinks
Rating: PG13
Warnings: None, really.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Summary: Someone finds a "Good Wife For Life" site on the Internet, but Ginny gets to the package first. Who in the wizarding world wants a mail-order-bride, and what'll happen when this ordeal is signed/sealed/delivered?
You've Got Mail
-ii-
Chapter 2: Sealed
-ii-
It was Draco Malfoy's birthday. He was relaxing at his cherry wood desk, contemplating while attaining the luscious age of twenty-four. His benevolent mother had gotten him a cake, and, for once, she was hosting a relatively quiet party. The bigger bash would probably be next year, when he turned two and a half decades old.
He groaned, sitting back in his seat. All of the business endeavours he was pursuing were probably going to give him gray hairs by the time he was thirty. But, being of the platinum blond caliber, he supposed that the gray hairs would just add silver highlights, emphasizing his mercuric eyes. Hmm... quite artistic. The ladies would definitely swoon, as usual. Not a bad idea, really, this "working" activity. Though... he was getting rather tired of the myriad of females parading through his serial dating lifestyle...
There was a sudden racket at the door, and his mother entered his study, followed by a tiny house elf toting an extremely large package. The house elf set down the package and looked expectantly at Narcissa Malfoy, who shooed it away regally.
Draco stood. "Mother?" She had plied him with wine and his many favorite dishes, and he was in quite a comfortable state of mind. However, his sense of suspicion was somewhat prickled -- one did not go about receiving large packages every day. Ah, well. The bigger, the better, he supposed.
"Draco," she declared dramatically, "To quote from a darling Muggle movie, 'You've got mail.'"
Draco raised one eyebrow. A moovie? Was his mother transitioning to a bovine? He decided to pay it no heed, and said, "I see that, Mother." He sauntered over to the package. "Now, pray tell, what is it?"
She smirked the Malfoy smirk at him, then ran her hand over the package's side. "If you must know, it's a birthday present. A wonderful idea, to be sure. In fact, our neighbors did it for their son, as well."
Draco had begun to unravel the grandiose pink ribbon on the package, but paused. "Which neighbors, Mother?"
"Oh, the Yeps, I think. You know, that darling Asian couple two counties away? Anyway, they told me that they were getting so tired of the standard societal breeding mare, and decided to branch out and try something new. Of course, their particular package came last week, but I believe their order actually ran away with the scullery maid. However, according to the 'u u u' page or that 'Winternet' fingle-fangle, there were several other options for young Laurence, so he didn't quite mind. And they were pureblooded and pretty, at that. The young boy spent his days buried in schoolbooks. Not quite the best environ for making progeny, really..."
Draco was listening with only half an ear to as Narcissa glibly prattled on, but the "progeny" caught his attention. "Progeny? Mother, you're not saying there's a progeny-manufacturing device in this box, are you?"
"Oh, of course not, dear. Well, I guess you could call it that, but it's more old-fashioned, per se..."
Suddenly, there was a popping sound, and the box suddenly opened.
"Goodness," Draco commented. "I hadn't finished opening that yet."
A redheaded jumped out, amber eyes flashing. Or rather, she tried to jump out, but seemed to have a filmy blanket-like thing tangled about her feet. She promptly fell down, flashing something else instead. "Bollocks! It must be a veil! Who in their right mind would package an insanely long veil in a bridal box? How terribly impractical."
Draco paused. While he had never envisioned a human in a box, he supposed that a "Jack in the box" logically had to have a feminine counterpart. He also supposed that a present should be met with gratitude, whether unexpected or no. He applauded politely. "Well done, Mother."
She smiled at him graciously. "Thank you, dear." Then she frowned. "Hmm... but, from the pictures I recalled, she's supposed to be wearing something entirely different."
The girl stood, still glaring somewhat. She was clothed in a short navy skirt and blazer, with a nametag that said "Postal Service Intern" and a hastily scribbled name. Draco suddenly had a thought. "Mother," he asked, "Have you been cavorting around Hogsmeade and bothering those Weasley twins again? Because I think that might be their sister."
Narcissa looked quite startled, then exclaimed, "Heavens no. I once stumbled into their shop, the charming gentlemen, but their candy is so frightfully dangerous. Besides," she said, turning an appraising eye to the girl, "The Weasleys are wizards. She's not dressed in wizard's clothes. In fact, she must be the mail-order-bride I asked for. The Yeps assured me that the company gave them a lifetime guarantee and a bride-in-a-box guarantee, and, well, she's not quite Asian, like those pretty girls on the Internet box, but I was worried that various lingual barriers would have prevented her from attending our miscellaneous social functions, so perhaps I called and requested a redheaded girl, instead. I really did want a companion, you see, and you're taking such a long time to marry..."
She was interrupted by quite a gleeful peal of laughter. The girl from the box was talking. "Draco Malfoy, you can't get a woman for yourself?"
Draco looked at his "gift." He cleared his throat, "My dear lady, you heard my mother. I am simply 'taking a long time to marry.' If you must know, I have been extremely busy and important lately, especially in various business matters." He snapped his fingers. The harried house elf appeared. "Pippy, take my new mail order bride to the guest quarters, please, until further arrangements can be, well, arranged."
The redhead looked him, mouth semi-open. "Draco Malfoy! You can't possibly believe that I'm your mail order bride! I'm Ginny Weasley! We went to school together!"
Draco looked at her, bemused but firm, "Bride, whom am I more likely to believe? You or my own mother?"
That shut her up, at least temporarily. As she started to protest further, Pippy snapped her fingers, and a strip of what looked suspiciously like duct tape was sealed over our heroine's mouth. Pippy snapped her fingers once more. Ginny drifted up, away from the rest of the wrappings, and was promptly whisked up the stairs.
-ii-
Author's Notes
Note 1: Laurence Yep is actually a brilliant Chinese American author, who wrote some of my favorite childhood books, namely Dragonwings and The StarFisher and Ribbons.
Note 2: This story can also be found on:
The original entry on GinnyLovesDraco:
http://community.livejournal.com/ginnylovesdraco/3237.html
My Livejournal:
http://twiddlekinks.livejournal.com/tag/you%27ve+got+mail
Draco and Ginny:
http://www.dracoandginny.com/viewstory.php?sid=4569
(Feedback much appreciated!)
^_^
Author: twiddlekinks
Rating: PG13
Warnings: None, really.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Summary: Someone finds a "Good Wife For Life" site on the Internet, but Ginny gets to the package first. Who in the wizarding world wants a mail-order-bride, and what'll happen when this ordeal is signed/sealed/delivered?
You've Got Mail
-ii-
Chapter 2: Sealed
-ii-
It was Draco Malfoy's birthday. He was relaxing at his cherry wood desk, contemplating while attaining the luscious age of twenty-four. His benevolent mother had gotten him a cake, and, for once, she was hosting a relatively quiet party. The bigger bash would probably be next year, when he turned two and a half decades old.
He groaned, sitting back in his seat. All of the business endeavours he was pursuing were probably going to give him gray hairs by the time he was thirty. But, being of the platinum blond caliber, he supposed that the gray hairs would just add silver highlights, emphasizing his mercuric eyes. Hmm... quite artistic. The ladies would definitely swoon, as usual. Not a bad idea, really, this "working" activity. Though... he was getting rather tired of the myriad of females parading through his serial dating lifestyle...
There was a sudden racket at the door, and his mother entered his study, followed by a tiny house elf toting an extremely large package. The house elf set down the package and looked expectantly at Narcissa Malfoy, who shooed it away regally.
Draco stood. "Mother?" She had plied him with wine and his many favorite dishes, and he was in quite a comfortable state of mind. However, his sense of suspicion was somewhat prickled -- one did not go about receiving large packages every day. Ah, well. The bigger, the better, he supposed.
"Draco," she declared dramatically, "To quote from a darling Muggle movie, 'You've got mail.'"
Draco raised one eyebrow. A moovie? Was his mother transitioning to a bovine? He decided to pay it no heed, and said, "I see that, Mother." He sauntered over to the package. "Now, pray tell, what is it?"
She smirked the Malfoy smirk at him, then ran her hand over the package's side. "If you must know, it's a birthday present. A wonderful idea, to be sure. In fact, our neighbors did it for their son, as well."
Draco had begun to unravel the grandiose pink ribbon on the package, but paused. "Which neighbors, Mother?"
"Oh, the Yeps, I think. You know, that darling Asian couple two counties away? Anyway, they told me that they were getting so tired of the standard societal breeding mare, and decided to branch out and try something new. Of course, their particular package came last week, but I believe their order actually ran away with the scullery maid. However, according to the 'u u u' page or that 'Winternet' fingle-fangle, there were several other options for young Laurence, so he didn't quite mind. And they were pureblooded and pretty, at that. The young boy spent his days buried in schoolbooks. Not quite the best environ for making progeny, really..."
Draco was listening with only half an ear to as Narcissa glibly prattled on, but the "progeny" caught his attention. "Progeny? Mother, you're not saying there's a progeny-manufacturing device in this box, are you?"
"Oh, of course not, dear. Well, I guess you could call it that, but it's more old-fashioned, per se..."
Suddenly, there was a popping sound, and the box suddenly opened.
"Goodness," Draco commented. "I hadn't finished opening that yet."
A redheaded jumped out, amber eyes flashing. Or rather, she tried to jump out, but seemed to have a filmy blanket-like thing tangled about her feet. She promptly fell down, flashing something else instead. "Bollocks! It must be a veil! Who in their right mind would package an insanely long veil in a bridal box? How terribly impractical."
Draco paused. While he had never envisioned a human in a box, he supposed that a "Jack in the box" logically had to have a feminine counterpart. He also supposed that a present should be met with gratitude, whether unexpected or no. He applauded politely. "Well done, Mother."
She smiled at him graciously. "Thank you, dear." Then she frowned. "Hmm... but, from the pictures I recalled, she's supposed to be wearing something entirely different."
The girl stood, still glaring somewhat. She was clothed in a short navy skirt and blazer, with a nametag that said "Postal Service Intern" and a hastily scribbled name. Draco suddenly had a thought. "Mother," he asked, "Have you been cavorting around Hogsmeade and bothering those Weasley twins again? Because I think that might be their sister."
Narcissa looked quite startled, then exclaimed, "Heavens no. I once stumbled into their shop, the charming gentlemen, but their candy is so frightfully dangerous. Besides," she said, turning an appraising eye to the girl, "The Weasleys are wizards. She's not dressed in wizard's clothes. In fact, she must be the mail-order-bride I asked for. The Yeps assured me that the company gave them a lifetime guarantee and a bride-in-a-box guarantee, and, well, she's not quite Asian, like those pretty girls on the Internet box, but I was worried that various lingual barriers would have prevented her from attending our miscellaneous social functions, so perhaps I called and requested a redheaded girl, instead. I really did want a companion, you see, and you're taking such a long time to marry..."
She was interrupted by quite a gleeful peal of laughter. The girl from the box was talking. "Draco Malfoy, you can't get a woman for yourself?"
Draco looked at his "gift." He cleared his throat, "My dear lady, you heard my mother. I am simply 'taking a long time to marry.' If you must know, I have been extremely busy and important lately, especially in various business matters." He snapped his fingers. The harried house elf appeared. "Pippy, take my new mail order bride to the guest quarters, please, until further arrangements can be, well, arranged."
The redhead looked him, mouth semi-open. "Draco Malfoy! You can't possibly believe that I'm your mail order bride! I'm Ginny Weasley! We went to school together!"
Draco looked at her, bemused but firm, "Bride, whom am I more likely to believe? You or my own mother?"
That shut her up, at least temporarily. As she started to protest further, Pippy snapped her fingers, and a strip of what looked suspiciously like duct tape was sealed over our heroine's mouth. Pippy snapped her fingers once more. Ginny drifted up, away from the rest of the wrappings, and was promptly whisked up the stairs.
-ii-
Author's Notes
Note 1: Laurence Yep is actually a brilliant Chinese American author, who wrote some of my favorite childhood books, namely Dragonwings and The StarFisher and Ribbons.
Note 2: This story can also be found on:
The original entry on GinnyLovesDraco:
http://community.livejournal.com/ginnylovesdraco/3237.html
My Livejournal:
http://twiddlekinks.livejournal.com/tag/you%27ve+got+mail
Draco and Ginny:
http://www.dracoandginny.com/viewstory.php?sid=4569
(Feedback much appreciated!)
^_^
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