I tried to keep it as PG-13 as possible, but I know I'm pushing the limit.
there's nothing left, but to turn and face you
when I look into your eyes, there's nothing there to see
nothing but my own mistakes staring back at me
asking why
- Linkin Park, feat. Stephen Richards
Loyalties
For a moment, no one in the Gryffindor common room made a sound. Then they all broke into a cacophony of tears, squeals, and shouted commands. Ginny stood at the foot of the stairs, shocked beyond words.
“Everyone, stay calm!” Professor McGonagall roared over them. The room quieted instantly and the students turned their attentions to the professor respectfully. She huffed a bit, trying to catch her breath, then continued, “Potter, Weasley, Granger, as well as the rest of the group that was here – follow me. The rest of you,” she glared at those in the common room, “tell the other students that the dance has been cancelled and stay here. I will be locking the common room from the outside. House elves will be by soon to see to your food. Remember, do not open the windows or even look out of them. And don’t try to floo anyone from the fireplace; they have all been disconnected from the Network. Stay together, and keep your wands at the ready.” With a pause, she continued, “Now go on!”
Ginny came out of her trance-like state with a snap, and immediately realized that she needed her wand and some warmer, less-revealing clothing. She scampered up the stairs to her dormitory, ignoring the curious stares of her roommates, and immediately rummaged about the clothes on her bed. She found her wand almost immediately, but for some odd reason, she had trouble finding a skirt.
She finally seized a skirt and was about to throw it on when Hermione pushed the dormitory door open with a crash. Ginny’s roommates squealed with fright, as Ginny herself froze. But Hermione ignored the other girls, raced over to Ginny, and started dragging her to the door. “We’ve got to go, Ginny!” the bushy-haired girl cried.
Ginny wanted to scream in frustration, but she couldn’t really fault Hermione for her haste. “At least let me grab some shoes!” Ginny whined as she tried to slow Hermione to a stop. The older girl stopped with a huff, and tapped her foot impatiently as Ginny stuck her feet into her school shoes. Once they were on, Hermione grabbed her arm again and yanked her out the door.
With a defeated sigh, Ginny followed obediently. They ran down the stairs and reached the portrait hole, only to find Harry and Ron waiting for them impatiently. This time, Harry decided to vocalize his disapproval. “Why the bloody hell did you drag her along?” he asked Hermione impatiently.
“We need her with us,” Hermione said simply as she glared back at him.
“Hermione,” Ron began with a placating tone, “you know that she can’t come. She wasn’t involved in-”
“And why the bloody hell not?” Ginny interrupted furiously. “We’ve already established that I know all the spells that every one of the other DA members know.”
Ron turned to her, his face growing red with anger. “And what the fuck am I supposed to tell Mum when she hears that her only daughter wants to fight?”
“Besides,” Harry pointed out, “how do we know that we can trust you?”
“Harry James Potter,” Ginny spat out as she stalked up to him, so that her nose was mere centimeters away from his. “I am a Gryffindor. Although I’m female, I am still a Weasley. That means that I am related to Ron, your best friend!” She poked his chest with a finger to emphasize her point. “If you can’t trust me, then who the fuck can you trust?”
“Are the four of you quite finished?” McGonagall asked imperiously from the portrait hole. Her nose was wrinkled with distaste; obviously, she disapproved of their language.
“Yes, Professor!” Hermione responded with a grim smile. She turned to Harry and Ginny, who were still staring at each other, and muttered, “I’m vouching for her, Harry. If she’s a spy, then you can have my head.”
Harry and Ginny broke their gazes, turning their eyes to Hermione. Harry looked at her incredulously, while Ginny’s eyes held relief and gratefulness. “Mine too,” Ron interrupted as he gently nudged Harry and Ginny to the entrance. “Now, can we get a bloody move on?”
Ginny turned her eyes to Harry’s, and found him looking at her speculatively. “All right, then,” he sighed. His emerald eyes instantly hardened, and he gripped Ginny’s shoulders and shook her slightly. “Just don’t make me regret this,” he hissed at her. With a warning look, he let her go and made his way out of the common room.
She stared at his back in a daze, but was startled out of her thoughts as Ron touched her shoulder and grinned faintly before following Harry. Ginny was about to follow him when Hermione caught her arm and whispered in her ear, “Us girls need to stick together.” Ginny looked at her in amazement, but Hermione just smiled encouragingly.
Once she had exited the common room, Ginny found the rest of the DA waiting anxiously. She detected a few smirks and girlish giggles at her attire, but she didn’t pay much attention to them. Instead, her focus landed on Harry, who was whispering something with McGonagall and holding a sword. She did a double take when she realized that he was handling Godric Gryffindor’s sword, the same one that he had used against the basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets. As though he could sense her thoughts on him, he turned away from McGonagall and turned his attention to testing his grip on the sword. Now that she could see his face, she was shocked to see that he was exuding an air of confidence, and grim determination; his eyes seemed tired, but they also held a maturity and responsibility that she had never seen in him before.
Ginny was brought out of her musings when she caught the words, “… fighting for our lives.” She brought her head up swiftly and looked at McGonagall, who had paused. Ginny felt guilty about daydreaming, for she realized that she had missed most of what the professor had said. McGonagall continued, “So please, keep your wits about you. We will not encounter many obstacles, for we have Aurors on hand to take the brunt of the fight. Do you have any last minute questions?” When no one said anything in response, she nodded and finished, “Well then, let’s go.”
Ginny was still digesting these words when she sensed Hermione beside her. “Let’s follow Harry and Ron,” she whispered as she tugged Ginny along. Ginny complied, and soon found herself face-to-face with her brother.
Ron reached over to ruffle her hair and teased, “Stay by us, all right? I don’t need Mum on my back if something happens.”
“I will. You be careful,” Ginny whispered hoarsely. Ron gave her a strained smile and nodded before turning away. Ginny knew that the exchange had seemed incongruous in the face of the upcoming battle. But she also knew that teasing was the closest that Ron would come to saying “I love you.” In a way, she was glad that he hadn’t actually spoken those words aloud; surviving the battle felt like a distinct possibility because it was left unsaid. After all, Ron would someday say “I love you,” to her; if he didn’t say it now, that simply meant that he would later.
En masse, they treaded through the hallways softly, cautious of ambushes. As Ginny followed, with Hermione right beside her, the seriousness of the situation finally slipped through the numbness that had surrounded her thus far. She was going off to battle in nothing more than a faded green shirt, a slip, and untied shoes. She laughed inwardly at the absurdity of her outfit; although she had never really cared about her appearance, this situation seemed to merit it. Since she didn’t have fight-worthy clothing, the only useful things she was equipped with were her wits and her wand. As she walked silently behind Ron, she hoped those were enough to keep her alive.
They reached the changing staircases and went down the flights. Before she knew it, Ginny found herself on the third floor. “Hermione,” Ginny hissed while furrowing her brow with confusion. “Why-”
It had been on the tip of her tongue to ask Hermione why they were on the third floor, but she stopped when she heard screams and curses being shouted from down the corridor. The students around her stood still and listened to the fighting in terrified silence. Ginny could have sworn that she heard Neville gulp audibly. McGonagall looked at each of them; “Remember what you’ve learned and practiced,” she whispered. Her eyes softened with remorse and she murmured, “If only you children could have been spared this…” She shook herself as her expression became as hard as steel. “Right then,” she nodded at Harry. “Let’s go.”
Ginny felt the blood draining from her face as fearful anticipation sent adrenaline down her spine. She and Hermione followed Ron and Harry, while the other students followed behind. When they turned the corner, Ginny’s eyes widened with shock at the scene before her.
The sun was setting outside, casting faint shafts of light through the narrow castle windows. The sconces on the wall were flickering, for they were magically attuned to the amount of sunlight reaching the hallway. But it seemed as though none of that light touched on the people in the hallway, for most of them wore black robes and silver masks. These figures of death stalked around the hallway almost leisurely, casting curses left and right as they went. They had a reason to be leisurely, because they were fighting a motley band of Aurors and ministry officials. Ginny watched the defenders of Hogwarts as they swiftly moved and hexed; their actions were so much more erratic than those of their opponents. Although they fought courageously, their actions did nothing to slow the steady stream of Death Eaters.
Ginny craned her neck a bit, and saw red sparks glinting off of Dumbledore’s silver beard in the waning sunlight. He nimbly moved through the fray, flinging out spells with simple flicks of his wand. Although she had often shaken her head at his amusing oddities, Ginny knew she was catching a glimpse of the real man behind the wizarding robes and venerable title of “Greatest Wizard in the World.” Even at her distance, she saw his eyes burning like two, pale blue flames behind his half-moon spectacles. His movements were controlled and forceful in every way. As Aurors fell to the ground, jerking in reaction to their grievous injuries, he smoothly stepped in as their avenger.
When her mind registered the casualties of the people surrounding her, the sounds of the battle rushed at her with the intensity of a bludger. She forced her hands to her sides when she heard high-pitched screams and shouts that ranged from deep growls to squeaks. Strangely enough, the floor that she was standing on was rumbling, as though a giant had decided to take apart the very foundation of the castle, stone by stone. Ginny gripped Hermione’s arm for support, and gave the other girl a panicked look. “What’s that shaking?” Ginny rasped.
Hermione was not paying attention to her; instead her gaze was still on the battle. Ginny watched the girl that she had always considered too perfect to be true. Hermione was the bookworm, the “sister” of Harry and Ron, and Ron’s girlfriend. She was one of the most recognized and respected female Muggleborns in the school, and a prefect for the past year and a half. Yet, the girl who stood by Ginny’s side was no longer the girl who deserved all of those accolades; she was now a world-weary woman who was facing certain death. The shadows beneath her eyes were more pronounced than ever, while her mouth was curved into a resigned frown. The bright red of her tie and uniform were garish against the pallor of her skin. Ginny looked down to where her hand was grasping Hermione’s arm. The other girl’s hand held the wand in a strong but loose grip, betraying the number of times that she had been forced to use it. Ginny looked up at her face when Hermione whispered, “Look. They’ve arrived.” Ginny barely caught those words, for she was too busy admiring the woman that Hermione had become.
Hermione’s words finally pushed insistently at her, and Ginny turned her eyes back to the fighting before her. A row of student-sized figures in black stood on the other side of the hallway, watching the battle. Unlike their older counterparts, these younger ones were unmasked. Their faces clearly showed their apprehension and suppressed excitement; they were the “junior Death Eaters” that Blaise had told her about. They had finally reached the point of no return; the battle lines had been drawn, and sides had been taken.
Riding on the heels of these musings were thoughts of Blaise and Draco. Ginny’s apprehension sank into horror when she realized that she would have to face them both. In fact, she would be forced to fight for her life against them. Gone were Blaise’s sweet kisses and Draco’s harmless comments and smirks. She would never again have the luxury of a best friend like Blaise.
Ginny wanted to cry out with anguish and regret. She had been steeling herself against them the entire week, but this moment had forced her to acknowledge the side they had chosen. However, Ginny’s brain still refused to accept this. She stood on her tiptoes, craning her neck to find visible proof that Blaise and Draco would be joining the Death Eaters. Ginny was almost sure that she had placed Draco’s platinum hair, when her view was blocked by a Death Eater.
Startled at the interruption, she landed on her heels, allowing her eyes to focus on the entire scene again. Her eyes widened with confusion when she realized that the room seemed to be darker than it had been before. The sun had practically left, but the dark cloaks of the attackers now absorbed the golden light of the torches. In fact, the Death Eater’s numbers had swelled, effectively outnumbering the Ministry officials and Aurors. “Where are they coming from?” Ginny gasped with a horrified look.
Harry whipped around and stared at her, his green eyes fearsome as they bored into hers. “They know about the entrance.” Ginny stared back at him, her confusion still obvious. “Remember? The entrance that I told you about?”
Ginny opened her mouth to voice her confusion, but let out a croaking sound when she finally remembered. She had told Blaise and Draco about the tunnel to Hogsmeade through the one-eyed witch’s hump when he had needed information on Harry. And now that they had become Death Eaters… Ginny shut her mouth with a loud snap and turned her eyes back to the fighting. Sure enough, Death Eaters were squeezing out of the statue of the one-eyed witch. “Merlin!” she exclaimed softly. Ginny looked back at Harry and whispered pleadingly, “I’m so sorry, Harry. I didn’t think-”
“Well, that’s obvious,” he hissed back sarcastically. He turned back to the fighting; his blazing green eyes dulled from an accusing glare to one of resigned acceptance, similar to Hermione’s. For the first time, Ginny noticed that his shoulders were slumped dejectedly, and his back was curved as though he was carrying a heavy burden on his soul. Suddenly, he straightened his back and thrust his sword straight up into the air. Time slowed for Ginny, and she noticed how the flickering light in the hall hollowed his cheekbones and gleamed against his glasses and hair. She was not sure if it was the light playing tricks on her eyes or the adrenaline rushing through his veins, but she saw his pale face surged with a flush. In all, the vision he created was one of power, formidable strength, and danger.
Ginny was startled out of her thoughts as he cried, “Follow me!” With a downward sweep of his sword arm, Ginny and the other students followed obediently. She grimaced when she realized the depth of his statement. They had all unconsciously deferred to him for the past four or five years. Now, they were intentionally following him into battle, even unto death.
As they neared the fighters, Ginny noticed that the students on the other side of the hall were also joining in the fight. In between the moving fighters, her eyes finally discerned Blaise and Draco. Their faces were stoic and emotionless; Blaise had a faint frown on his pursed lips, but his eyes were as cold as ice. Neither boy saw her; instead, their gazes were trained before them as they swiftly charged into the clash.
Once again, time slowed down for Ginny. She could feel various emotions crashing through her body, like waves against a shore. In a matter of seconds, which felt like hours, she felt hurt, betrayal, love, longing, and hatred flood her; the emotions were so strong that she wanted to fall to her knees and sob from the agony. Blaise and Draco had played with her emotions and lured her into a false sense of security. They had gleaned important information from her, allowing her to feel as though she was the trickster, when she was actually the hapless tricked fool. Now, she would have to face them in battle. Would they be heartless enough to kill her? Could she find the strength to hurt them? Ginny swallowed down the bile that rose in her throat, and attempted to concentrate on following Ron.
Instead, she stumbled and fell, managing to land on her hands without smashing her face into the cold, stone floor. She had closed her eyes when she fell, and her hands nearly slipped from beneath her when she was met with the awful stench of copper-scented blood and burning flesh. Her eyes immediately popped open, and she cried out in horror when she realized that she was kneeling in a puddle of blood. She tilted her face up form the floor, and nearly retched when she saw the lifeless body of Professor Flitwick lying before her. The short man was still clothed in his traditional robes, with small shoes pointing up in the air. His eyes were wide open with shock; one side of his face was nearly burnt off, explaining the overwhelming burnt scent.
Her daze-like state continued when she looked down at her hands and wand, which were in the puddle of blood oozing from the Professors wounds. Rage and helplessness built up inside her, and she steeled herself mentally while tensing her arms to support her. In that instant, all of her Gryffindor bravery and courage became a cold, hard knot in her stomach. Her mind was filled with the red of the blood pooling at her hands and knees, enveloping her wand, and coursing through her veins. With a frown of determination, she grabbed her wand. Time finally caught up with her as she jerked herself to her feet.
“Are you all right, Ginny?” Hermione asked with tired concern. She rested her hand on Ginny’s shoulder, but Ginny stood unflinchingly still. She was watching the battle going on around her with calculating eyes.
Whatever Hermione saw in Ginny’s posture at that moment seemed to meet her approval, for Hermione gave her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. She leaned in towards Ginny and muttered, “They’ve been using cutting and burning hexes for torture, before finishing them off with the Killing Curse.” She looped her arm around Ginny’s and nudged her. “We’ve got to help Harry. Come on.”
Ginny obediently followed with her wand firmly in her grasp. She automatically sidestepped the blood and amputated limbs, keeping her eye on Harry and Ron. Hermione was a warm presence beside her, but Ginny was numb to all else that happened around her. That changed when a Death Eater cut off her path.
Ginny and Hermione halted before the Death Eater in surprise. Ginny glared at the Death Eater, sizing them up. The Death Eater had broad shoulders and its stance was too masculine for it to be a female. She peered at the eyes behind his silver mask, and was startled to find that they were a light blue. The blue reminded her of the lake at Hogwarts, and she felt a surge of longing. Yet, they also reminded her of the color of Blaise’s eyes. When Ginny remembered Blaise, rage boiled within her. She immediately whipped her wand towards the Death Eater and screamed, “STUPEFY!”
The Death Eater crumpled to the grimy floor. Dazedly, Ginny heard Hermione cry out an unfamiliar spell, and saw that his hands and feel were magically bound. She looked at the older girl, who was still latched to her arm, and grimaced. “Us girls need to stick together,” Ginny intoned seriously. Hermione merely gave her a quick nod, and tugged her forward.
Every Death Eater that crossed Ginny and Hermione’s path after that initial confrontation met the same fate. Ginny’s rage was simmering below the surface after she had stupefied her fifth Death Eater. Hermione made no comment about Ginny’s behavior; she continued to cast the binding spell with a cool tone, even though her arm was still entwined with Ginny’s.
Ginny was surprised when she recognized most of the Aurors and Ministry officials that were fighting the Death Eaters. Apparently, everyone at the battle was a member of the Order of the Phoenix, and had graced the meetings at 12 Grimmauld Place at one time or another. She saw Remus Lupin bring down a Death Eater with long black hair; judging from the rage in his features, Ginny knew in a heartbeat that he had finally gotten his revenge for Sirius’s death.
She also saw the bubblegum-pink hair of Tonks, and recognized Kingsley Shacklebolt, Mad-Eye Moody, and Professor Snape. As she stupefied her seventh victim, Ginny was startled to find herself next to her brother George. “George!” she cried out over the din, and threw herself into his arms.
Brother and sister held each other close for a moment, but finally broke away. “Mum would kill you if she saw you here,” he laughed while he ruffled her hair.
“Well, she might not have to do it,” she replied grimly. After an uncomfortable pause, Ginny inquired, “Are Mum and Dad here?”
“Yeah-” he broke off when he heard Hermione scream out, “STUPEFY!” at a Death Eater that was just about to attack George. “Blimey, Hermione,” he called out with admiration, “remind me to never make you mad!”
Hermione shot him a terse smile before returning to her self-appointed task of protecting Ginny and George. Ginny looked at George and asked, “What about Charlie and Bill?”
“Yeah,” George replied. “Charlie’s outside with the dragons, and Bill is here somewhere.” His face grew thoughtful as he continued, “Me and Fred came together, but I can’t bloody find him.” He looked at Ginny anxiously before asking, “Have you seen him?”
Ginny shook her head. George gave her a worried smile and hugged her tightly. “Well,” he replied, “you take care of yourself, you hear?”
“You too,” Ginny replied firmly before she broke away and joined Hermione again.
“Ahh, you’re back,” Hermione grinned when she found Ginny next to her. “We’ve got to find Harry and Ron.”
“Right,” Ginny replied firmly. Linking their arms together, the girls continued their foray into the fighting, searching for Ron and Harry. Finally, they caught sight of the bright red mop that was Ron’s hair. As they slowly made their way towards him, Ginny saw in periodic glances that he had his wand pointed at two wizards in black cloaks. Both wizards seemed wandless. In between her hexes and Stupefys, Ginny tried to discern who those wizards were.
All she could see was their hair, which glinted richly in the flickering light of the hallway. One had dark hair, while the other’s was so blonde that it seemed white. Ginny realized whom Ron had at wand-point, and felt the blood drain from her face.
“Hermione!” Ginny cried out as she dragged the other girl with her. “He’s got Draco and Blaise!”
Apparently, Hermione hadn’t heard Ginny over the noise of the fight, so she was startled when Ginny began dragging her by the arm. Hermione stopped and pulled back reflexively. “Where are you going?” she yelled.
Ginny felt Hermione tugging on her arm, but she pushed the other girl away forcefully. All of her attention was focused on Ron, Draco, and Blaise. She could see that Ron and Blaise were yelling at each other, while Draco stood to the side and watched silently. From where she was standing, Ginny saw that the back of Ron’s neck was turning red; she knew that was a bad sign, for it indicated that he was mad enough to do something rash.
She began pushing past the people around her, occasionally stupefying some Death Eaters. All the while, her ears strained towards Ron and Blaise’s argument. As she neared them, Ginny could hear their shouting but couldn’t distinguish the words. She eventually got close enough to hear two dreaded words from Ron’s lips.
“AVADA KEDAVRA!”
“NO!” Ginny cried out desperately as she struggled to make her way to Ron. She was within earshot, causing both Ron and Draco turned their eyes towards her.
Ginny soon reached a gap in the crowd of people that was free from fighting, and stood still, taking in the scene before her. Blaise was crumpled on the ground, while Draco looked murderous and Ron apprehensive. She was so surprised at seeing Blaise’s body on the floor that she blurted out the first thing on the tip of her tongue. “That was an Unforgivable, Ron! You’ll go to Azkaban!”
Ron looked sheepish, but his eyes still burned with rage. He opened his mouth to answer her, when she detected movement from the corner of her eyes. She turned her gaze towards the disturbance, and found herself eye-to-eye with Draco. She was horrified at the emotions running across his face. She saw hate, anger, betrayal, and sadness in his eyes. She opened her mouth to taunt him, but snapped it shut when she saw him whip out a wand from his sleeve.
Ginny felt as though cotton had been shoved into her ears, muting all of the sounds that surrounded her. In slow motion, she saw Draco point the wand straight at her and mouth the same words that Ron had uttered. She saw Ron lunge at Draco to wrestle his wand away, but it was too late. A green shaft of light was heading towards her.
Resigned to her fate, Ginny realized that she still loved Draco, no matter how he had betrayed her trust. She stared at his eyes, trying to convey her feelings of love and betrayal in that one, last glance. As the light neared her, she shut her eyes and braced herself. She heard the curse as it came closer, and felt something heavy fall against the back of her knees. Her legs buckled from the impact, and she pitched forward. She hit the stone floor with her forehead, and knew no more.
Want to kill me for that evil cliffhanger? Then review!
Note: Much love to my betas: dracosslytheringal, dracosbeauty927, and esus. Thanks to Myunet for pointing out the faulty html tag.
The line, "Us girls need to stick together," is taken from Catherine Zeta-Jones's line in the movie The Phantom.
Responses to reviews for chapter 15 can be found here. Check them out, because I left a lot of hints in there!
Hugs and kisses to all of my readers!
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