*Winner of the Draco/Ginny Fanfiction Award for Best Novel Length Story.* "Perhaps not everything is as black and white as it appears. Perhaps, even my father was tangled in a web of his own emotions, and in the end it spelled his death. Perhaps I too will share his fate, dying not for the cause I believe in, but for that which I cannot foresee." The ever weaving threads of our own decisions can lead to irrevocable knots, and when Lucius Malfoy is destroyed by unexpected forces, his son, Draco, is thrown into a world of political intrigue, insatiable passion and desperate gambits, opening doors he never thought to look for, and creating a life he never thought he would have as his own.Category: Long and Completed
This was a very pleasing story and a welcome back for me from a long nap away from D/G fiction. The story was entertaining and kept me away from my poor, besotted boyfriend for about a day. I also think that you deserve a nice long review since I've spent so much time reading this.
I like that you kept Draco very dark.
Crits:
Unfortunately, I have several critiques, so I hope you don't mind if I unload them on you.
Your use of ephitets is a bit overdone and confusing. Too many 'the silver-haired boy' and 'the Gryffindor' . . . This is my main gripe with everyone, though, so you can ignore that if you'd like.
You're wonderfully descriptive of the environment, but I think it was a little overdone. However, you did succeed in creating a lovely, gothic tragedy and good description was a large part of that.
You may want to work on your dialogue flow. Draco in the books is lofty but not *that* lofty. Some use of contractions would be a good start. Remember, they're all still just people.
And I would, finally, recommend you get a better beta reader. Small things like using 'then' for 'than', 'ma' for 'mum' are things a good beta should pick up.
You learn when you write in this fandom, and it's good for you to get feedback, so I hope you're not offended by this old swot.
You've got a good storytelling ability, so you should use it.
Sing
Author's Response: I don't mind critiques at all. They just improve the writing process. Do I get to defend myself though? I'll definitely take the comment about too much description into consideration, though I think descriptive writing is my strength. However, I purposely made Draco speak extremely properly. It was a device to show how cold and arrogant he is, and how he is a world apart from the Weasley's. His lack of humanity was intentional because I mean, come on, *nobody* talks like that! My beta had to read a lot of chapters, so a few errors here and there are understandable. Chances are, she corrected them and I missed! She's really good. Thank you very much for taking the time to leave a review. I'll keep your words in mind when I write the sequel.