I love this beginning. Your writing is excellent, and you really do have awesome descriptions. Not to mention I'm loving the premise!

Author's Response: Thank you for all of the praise, Leigh! It's doing wonders to my ego, haha. =]

I never reviewed over at FF so I'm going to sing my praises over here! Your beta is an angel--this does flow nicely and showcases your brilliant writing all the better.

I love it when Draco and Ginny try to get revenge--and that Ginny played so dirty! I positively laughed out loud when she got Draco's complaining letter. Bad witch.

And the "making up" was simply fantastic. I LOVE that they gave each other points, too! That seems so apropos. Nothing like a healthy dose of competition to make things, er, interesting...

Anyway, yays overall!

Okay, I'm doing this...I don't know how long I'll have, but I'll try to get through both. I've read this chapter before, but I haven't read the third yet.

(btdubs, I love the Windows 7 feature of putting two windows side-by-side. It makes reviewing as I go so much easier.)

I love Draco's insanity here. You've wound a delicate filament of pure wack-job through his actions and dialog in these first few paragraphs, and as a result he's dangerous, unpredictable, and frightening -- and I want to know more.

The quick flip from "How have you been?" to the pressure on the wand made me catch my breath, I'll readily admit. Remarkable job expressing the emotional aftermath of her stalwart, foolhardy-but-battle-wizened decisions.

If this were a film and I was casting Draco, Depp would be a first choice by far (in manner, not in look). ;)

//during her brief stint in Azkaban//

^ I must know more about this. Don't forget.

//"I was looking for you," Ginny said, ignoring the initial statement that came to mind: I already told you that I needed to talk to you.//

He just said that. Did you intend to have her repeat what he said? It seems a little odd, because she seems to think he's bonkers for asking again, but he didn't ask again...if that makes a lick of sense.

As for your description of Draco, there are no words. You've done this so beautifully that it's nearly heartbreaking; you've managed to remind me why I like poetry...and this is prose.

//"Merlin's left nut, Weaselette!"//

That line will always make me laugh, since I can't help but recall the discussion about it. That and Rowan's "Helga Hufflepuffs tits!" And why his left one, hm? I dare you to write something to explain that away.

I don't like that she defines herself by her broken state. I can understand defining others that way, or the world that way, but it doesn't sit well that she's decided that she's broken. And that hits on something I hope you'll delve into as this story continues -- why is she fighting? What keeps her engaged in this battle -- causes her to take so many risks daily? Obviously there's the honor of the thing, and her fiery canon Gryffindor traits, and you've hinted at vengeance/justice with the line about her dead parents, but I expect more from Ginny. No -- I expect more from you. I have a feeling you'll deliver. ;)

Halcyon Days. Whether it refers to Plato, the bird, or days of yore, I like it. And I think you like Greek mythology more than a normal person...not that I'm one to talk, apparently. And why do I know the name Margaretha Zelle? Am I imagining familiarity?

I love that she flies at him instead of throwing a counter-curse. Effective and very Ginny-like, though I seem to remember a startlingly good ability with counter-curses from the first chapter. I also love the way you've described the action; you've kept the energy without sacrificing the poetry.

//"She tried her best to angle her forehead so that it was the one that slammed into his nose"//

That sentence is awkwardly worded. In your defense, that's not an easy idea to convey, but since I did wrinkle my nose in puzzlement as I read, I'm mentioning it (also, the rest of this sentence is in need of love, too).

//Actually, in retrospect, this entire plan to hunt down Draco Malfoy was a terrible idea.//

Thank you! I'm so glad that SHE still has something of a grip on sane. This entire thing is velvety dark, but at the same time, a small part of me finds immense comedy in the sheer extremity of her predicament. I wonder if she's able to see that too. I suppose that's another reason I think she needs to stop being defined by her broken state -- I feel she should (sometimes) manage to see how funny this all is. And I think she does, given the next paragraph.

//activities that involve you, me, and your viscera//

Gross, Roma! What a line...at least YOU have a dedicated sense of humor.

I'm not sure how I feel about the amount of inner dialog you've sprinkled liberally throughout the latter half of this chapter. I think the beginning, with its intense description and heavy character interaction, is a great deal stronger than repeatedly cutting back to Ginny's mind as they talk. I understand why you're doing it -- there's a lot of exposition going on -- but it's SO much better when it's coming just as much from action and inference as it is from internal thoughts.

Why is she letting him do evil dark spells that she doesn't understand? I have a hard time believing that she'd let him slice her skin and whisper sinister incantations inches from her rather vulnerable womb without understanding a lick of what he's doing. If that doesn't come back to haunt her, I'll throw something. Okay, I see she realized this. But "primitive war paint"? That CAN'T be good. What kind of paternity test leaves a bloody mark?

But excellent job, nonetheless, with the dark magic. One thing that shines in this entire piece is your boundless creativity. I love the way you play with worlds.

Again, his sudden jump to baby names is a well-executed stroke of insanity -- and once more, I rather like him, though I shouldn't like to meet him in the dark. And the Aries "appreciate the poetry" bit? Trust someone named Draco to be so...clever.

//She remembered the gin and tonic. She'd thought she was being clever.//

What? What is this? I don't remember this from chapter one. Are you hinting at a past inside joke? If so, you MUST EXPLAIN!

Lovely end. I've such a ridiculous love affair with cliff hangers.

I'll have to do the third chapter later. I just spent AN HOUR AND HALF writing this, and though I was interrupted frequently, it's still impressive.

(And Mata Hari? Very nice.)

A lovely chapter! I was right; I just needed to get to know Ginny's character a little better to fall properly in love.

She does have a mighty temper here. I'm very glad, and I like her better already. A true fatalist probably wouldn't rip hair from another's head. And anyone addicted to espresso is a friend of mine, so I think we're square in that department.

Draco intrigues me as well. I think this mysterious change from rather scarily melancholy teen to confident adult is a good one, though how he became that way remains a mystery.

I loved the bits of humor here and there, too, especially in Rita's article -- and the fact that Ginny doesn't realize that Colin doesn't need a girlfriend makes me laugh.

I suppose I'll have to go on, though I'm wary of your promise at the beginning of the story, and I fear how long I'll have to wait for my questions to be answered! Ah, well. Such is the life of a serial fanfic reader.

Author's Response: Ginny's gaydar can leave something to be desired, as we shall see in future chapters. ;)

I love (once again) that she's so self-conscious and that he is NOT completely the opposite. For all that I'm reading far too deeply into this, I get the idea that he's not as comfortable as he seems to be. I'm not sure if that makes sense; forgive me. I ought to not review on the amount of sleep I've had.

I love the little details that you bring in, sort of expanding the world of canon and bringing in these remarkable little insights into the characters at the same time. Well, you do this with Ginny, anyway. I suppose Draco is harder because he's more closed off, and I doubt the Death Eaters have as rousing of a fight song as the Chudley Cannons.

I adore her conversation with her brain. It made me giggle; I know that type of insanity a little too well when it comes to men. Silly things, they are. Though I must say that it says something about the author's brain to write such an inner dialog so accurately. Not that I'm accusing you of madness--I noticed that you have a story with over 120 chapters, and I think that is evidence enough. ;)

I've decided that fate, or gods, or powers-that-be want Ginny and Draco to hook up. That's the only way I can justify this scene in my mind, given Ginny's character up to this point. I think I'll be fairly shocked if I'm totally off-base this time.

Marie, hm? I wondered if it was a girl when he was "Mmm"-ing in the first chapter. But is it a girl? Oh, bother. Now I don't know what to think, and I guarantee it's because I'm so stupid with exhaustion. And I did want to read two chapters tonight, but I'm afraid the second set of thoughts would read more like Ginny's conversation with herself and less like a review of the work. Ah, well.

Ohhhh, you.

I sensed there was a history here right away. But when he asked "How's Henry?" and I quickly realized (it took /perhaps/ two seconds) that you were unlikely to make up an OC boyfriend and that this was probably a child, my heart stopped.

Cruel, cruel Rowan, to break up Draco and Ginny. :( I hope this is a story of how they find love again and the last chapter isn't going to take me back a few years and walk me through the bloody mess. I am nervous.

Nerves aside, as always, the details shine. Your descriptions are never labored and yet I can picture it all, from the luxe ball to the lift in his eyebrows that you didn't write but happened, I swear. Gah. I can't deny that I envy your talent. ;)