reviewed Chapter 1
on Feb 19, 2011 09:21 pm
Oh, Ann, I really loved this! There were some really priceless moments, and I sincerely do love you forever simply for this conversation between Draco and Narcissa:
[["I'm going to become a dancer at that new club in Hogsmeade. I hear the tips are quite good, and I can make a lucrative career out of it," he drawled, arms crossed. "Don't you think that's a good idea?"
"Fantastic," she mumbled, eyebrows knitted.
"I may have to take my clothes off for a few loose women, perhaps some gentlemen too. I hope you're alright with that," he continued. "I wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable."]]
Hehhe, it gets me every time! In fact, I just love your Narcissa. I think she really steals the show with this fic. She's exactly as she should be.
Ah, I love your Ginny! She's strong and bold, and everything she should be. I cracked up at this line: "I said breasts, not tits. Stop looking at me so scandalously." -- such a Ginny thing to say.
I remember being confused when first reading this because Draco and Ginny were calling each other by their surnames and acting very distant towards each other. Then, of course, you explain the whole work versus personal relationship, and it all starts to make sense. I love their conversation in the office, by the way. The whole "I quit"/"I'll hire you back in an hour" thing is so cute, but you also get the sense that Ginny is getting just a little frustrated with this situation.
And so begins the failed proposal attempts. Poor Draco, I really feel for him in this story. He tries so hard yet nothing goes right. I have to admit, it's the fanged geranium that really gets me. The image is just hilarious, and then the poor guy hurts himself. I don't think I've said it yet, but needless to say, I think you did a wonderful job with how you characterised Draco. He's exactly how I imagined him when creating the prompt.
I still find their break-up argument a bit abrupt, but I think that's more the fact that this is a oneshot. If you had a bit more room to develop that frustration for Ginny, it would flow a bit more naturally, but this is really me being picky. I still believe the emotions, and as I said in my original review, I liked that you gave such a substantial reason for why she would break up. It makes a lot of sense.
Can I just say that I love, love, love the way you eventually have Draco propose. It's so unromantic and so Draco-ish that I can't help but laugh. I love that he doesn't even ask; he just slips the ring on her finger and tells her she will marry him. Definitely Draco.
The ending, of course, is brilliant. A fitting ending for a lovely fic. I really enjoyed reading this again, and thank you so much for writing it for me! It was an excellent interpretation of the prompt. ^_^
Author's Response: I never realized that I didn't respond to this. I promise I didn't do it on purpose. You know, it's funny, because Narcissa never used to be one of my favorite characters. But the more I write her as a secondary character, the more she does kind of show up all the other characters. I do love her now, very much. Ginny and Draco, for me, were difficult in this--Draco more so than Ginny. I had a clear picture of wanting Ginny to be crude and outright. But Draco was more difficult because I wanted him to be true to his nature but fumbling at the same time. Frustrated, fumbling, and still proud and conceited. It was a rough mixture, but I was pretty happy with the results. I'm glad you liked it, it being for you and all. I tried to do you justice (which I realize I haven't done you justice so far as that other babysitting fic from last year goes). I think this could have done well as a longer story or even just a longer one-shot. But with my change in prompt and all, I guess I just didn't have the time. For that, I am sorry because I know that middle part is a bit rushed. And that final bit was my favorite part because I got him to be a true Draco so to speak. He was going about the proposals in the wrong way. This was more his speed. :D I'm really happy you enjoyed the story though. I would have been sad if you didn't. Thanks for reviewing, again.
reviewed Chapter 1
on Feb 18, 2011 08:19 pm
awwwww...I love it!!!! Though Ginny and Cormac????!?!!!!!! She make fun of him in book 6666!!! Anyhow still love the DG actions!!!!!
Author's Response: She didn't date him. He just sort of showed up. You know how annoying he can be. :P Thanks for the review!
reviewed Chapter 1
on Feb 18, 2011 05:12 pm
I loved this fic so hard. The conversation between Draco and Narcissa at the beginning had me snorting. You have to love that women, and you do her justice.
And what humour. Reading this a second time and I'm still snorting. This part, especially:
"I think he's dead."
"No, his hand twitched."
"Bodies twitch after they're dead."
My cheeks hurt from grinning.
Your characterisation of Draco is fantastic. His responses/actions throughout? Priceless! I absolutely love how he reacts to each hurdle thrust his way. The poor guy just can't seem to get a break, which makes his actions at the end - barging into the Burrow on Ginny's date and demanding that he marry her - was not only understandable but justifiable! It was so perfectly in character and hilarious and it filled my romantic quota. *sighs*
In all, honesty, Ann, I loved everything about this fic. It is the perfect one-shot, with the right amount of banter, passion, romance, humour, and the most perfect "you're going to marry me!" proposal.
Like I'm sure I said before: I could quote everything that I loved about this fic, but I might as well copy and paste the entire fic!
Fantastic job, Ann. This shall be favourited. Thank you so much for posting it. ^_^
Author's Response: I do love Narcissa. She has a nice, special place in my heart--her and Lucius. And I'm glad this was funny to people because while I was writing it, I was freaking out that I would never get it done so I didn't think it would be humorous. Now you're just making me blush. Draco and I have a hit and miss relationship. I guess we hit head on in this then? I do believe this could have probably made a fantastic chaptered fic. But I'm happy you liked it. Thanks for the wonderful, ego boosting review. :)