Violence, Voices, and Blood...Who's bringing the chips? by Little lost insomniac
Summary: OMG SOME ONE KILLED COLIN. The story of how violence and insanity can lead to true love. Or atleast something with that potency.
Categories: Works in Progress Characters: None
Compliant with: None
Era: None
Genres: Humor
Warnings: Blood, Graphic Violence, Character Death
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: No Word count: 1929 Read: 2431 Published: Aug 26, 2004 Updated: Aug 26, 2004

1. my ax and I by Little lost insomniac

my ax and I by Little lost insomniac
Colin Creevey was walking very quickly back to the Gryffindor common room after a very long night of cataloging all of Harry's pictures in his "Special Place". It was very dark in the hallway, and Colin was petrified with the thought of running into Filch or his dread assistant, Mrs. Norris. He quickened his pace, stroking his camera, "It's alright my precious," he gently whispered to his magical camera. Colin was almost to the common room when he heard the terrified shriek of a girl. The painful sound sent shivers up his back.

As scared as he was, Colin was still a Gryffindor, and without a second thought, he rushed toward the sound. What he saw when he turned the corner was worse than anything his imagination could have possibly ever produced. Before him lay a horribly disfigured body in a Slytherin uniform. He could tell it had been a girl, but that was only because of the tattered remains of a skirt. A few feet away from the body glittered a green and sliver prefects' badge. But that wasn't the worst of it. A figure in a black cloak was whistling a happy tune as they were mopping up the blood. Even though the cloak was black, Colin could still see the blood dripping from the tattered corners.

Next to the murderer lay a bloody ax that had been casually laid against the wall. Before Colin thought about anything else, he picked up his trusty camera and took a quick shot. The hooded figure reacted instantly and before Colin could do a thing, they had grabbed the ax and cut off his arm. The pain was like an electrifying shock that rippled through his body, unlike anything Colin had ever experienced, but it was nothing compared to his enormous fear.

The camera dropped to the floor as he fell to his knees right next to his severed limb. Petrified, Colin lay still as he looked into the hooded face of his killer. The thought of using his wand had never occurred to him. Another swing of the ax and Colin fell on his back. Now the pain was throbbing through him like a drum. He turned and looked up at the figure over him, he caught a glimpse of their face, "You! Why?" Those were his last words as the ax sliced of his head and everything went black.

Colin's head rolled away from the body as the figure laid down her ax. She casually bent down, picked up the camera, and removed the film. She shoved it down into her tattered cloak pocket and went back to mopping up the pure blood. Just as soon as she went back to mopping, the voice came back to her.

Now was that as hard as you thought it was going to be? And look! You got us an extra.

"It was only Creevey," the girl replied.

Too bad. We'll need a lot more than this.

"I know, but don't worry," the girl said, still a little in shock over what she had done, "I could probably do that again."

Do you have any one in mind yet?

"Not as of yet, but don't worry. There are lots of worthless purebloods in this place."


The dark Slytherin common room was alive with the voices of terrified students. Everyone in an uproar over what had happened.

"It has to be the work of the Dark Lord," Blaise Zabini commented.

"But why would he kill Pansy? She was just as pure as the rest of us," Millicent Bulstrode replied over her schoolwork, not in the least bit concerned that her schoolmate had laid dead in a broom closet for several hours.

"What do you think about this Draco?" Blaise asked. A group of students joined him in questioning. They were all sure that his father would have filled him in if this was some Dark Plan.

Draco was sitting in a large leather chair next to the fire. He had been pondering this all day. Unlike most of his peers, the fact that Pansy was dead didn't faze him at all. In fact, if you asked him point blank, he might have smiled, chuckled even. Draco had never liked Pansy; she was just so damn annoying. Not to mention she had owned a face that a horse would have been ashamed of. The fact was someone in this school had the gall to kill a pureblood. It put everything Draco had ever believed into a whole new light. For the first time in his entire life, he was in some type of peril. Frankly, Draco didn't much like it. He was used to being the one who caused the peril, or at least was in on those who were. All day, he had been reading and rereading the Prophet over and over, yet it let out nothing of importance. Figures, Draco thought, why do people even read this trash? He looked out over the paper to see his classmates, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle looking down at him, like he was the one person alive who would tell them everything would be all right. In all actuality that was probably true; Draco had always been the brains for those two and they in turn were his muscles. A good commodity when you're the sarcastic Slytherin Prince of Ice.

"Uh. Draco?" Crabbe asked, waking Draco from his stupor. You have to tell them something Draco, anything will do. He knew what the Slytherins wanted, someone to tell them Pansy was a traitor, and that they wouldn't be harmed. Draco merrily said what he had said before, "I'll ask my father if he knows what's going on." Without a look at his fellow classmates, he turned back to the front page of the Daily Prophet.

Murder at Hogwarts

Yesterday, an awful tragedy occurred at Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The school was witness to the deaths of two students: Slytherin sixth-year, Pansy Parkinson and Gryffindor fifth-year, Colin Creevey. The students were found dead this morning shoved into a broom closet on the fourth floor. Young Creevey was found decapitated and Miss Parkinson was so terribly disfigured, that Madam Pomfrey, the school Head Nurse, didn't discover her identity until three hours after the discovery of the bodies by second-year Hufflepuff, Rose Zeller. Unfortunately, the identity of the murderer is still unknown. Lucky for investigators, there is one major clue; Miss Parkinson was found lacking almost entirely in blood, while Mister Creevey was covered completely in gore. The killer left no clues, as he magicked the area spotless before leaving. "It must have been the work of an expert, but rest assured, your children will be protected at all costs. We at the Ministry are sure to find him," was quoted today from Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, who even now has taken over as Headmaster of Hogwarts, due to another disappearance by Albus Dumbledore (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. Of Wizards).

The paper went on to list Fudge's "accomplishments", but no more was mentioned about the killer. Draco did note there was an exceptionally nasty picture of the two mangled bodies being removed from the closet, and a sappy bit of brown nosing by none other than Percy Weasley.

The death of Colin Creevey spread through the school like wild fire. However, Pansy's death wasn't mourned by many but the Slytherins.

"So.who do you think did it?" Hermione said not looking up from her Transfiguration book. Harry wasn't paying attention, he was completely absorbed in the paper looking for any word on the Order. Although he was feeling guilty about Colin, the kid had always freaked him out a little. It was almost like the guy was stalking me, taking pictures. Harry dismissed the thought as he picked up an apple.

"What was that?" Harry asked when he realized Hermoine had asked him something.

"Huh? Oh, nothing."

A few minutes later, Parvati and Lavender came and sat down at the table as quietly as possible, both looking at Harry like he would spontaneously explode and take everybody else with him.

"What now?" Harry sighed, looking at them.

They both looked quiet pale, glancing down at their plates, not saying a word. A moment later, Ginny and Ron came staggering in, covered in mud.

Harry gave them a forlorn glance, wishing he was the one just now coming in before he went back to the paper. When Fudge had been made Headmaster after Headmaster Dumbledore had disappeared again, he had brought back in many of Umbridge's Educational Decrees. So, Harry was no longer on the Quidditch team (again), and Ginny was filling in for him (again).

He noticed that Pansy and Lavender were still staring at him like he was going to take off his skin and turn out to be an alien brain sucker from the planet Saturn. Not to mention, while they were staring at him, they were nervously whispering to each other. Oh no, not again, he groaned as he remembered last year and Cerdic's death the year before that.

"Alicia has a mean streak a mild wide," Ron said, sitting down and scooping everything in reach onto his plate.

"So are the owners of House Elves; at least you volunteered," Hermione said, looking up from her book for the first time. She was watching Ron with a distasteful look as he sat scooping everything on his plate into his gaping maw. Ginny dodged the debris, rolling her eyes at Hermione as she helped herself to an orange.

"Oh get off it Herm, this is getting ridiculous," Ron said through a bit of food.

Hermione shut the book, slammed it down, took out her knitting kit, and started making some more elf-sized hats. She looked back up at Ron with a superior look, then went back to her work.

Meanwhile, Harry had been having a bitter stare down between Parvati and Lavender and had lost bitterly. "This is just my life," Harry said sarcastically as he grabbed his books and left. As soon as he was gone, Parvati and Lavender began to start whispering to each other again.

"Can someone please pass the toast?" Ginny asked quietly.

Okay, okay, it's a little to short for the first chapter, but I do have ideas on where this is headed. Again, I blame it all on a severe lack of chocolate and the fact that Slim Fast has the texture of chalk. Don't believe me, try it. Oh by the way, the killer is probably obvious, so I'll try not to give too many things away too quickly. Oh, and I love reviews and I would appreciate some help, so go ahead and see if you can figure out the murderer. If you guess right I'll find a way to let you know.

Chocolate Muse note: I demand that you all bow down and worship me, because without me, you wouldn't be able to understand a damn thing that D had said. So, can I have a little applause? Pretty please? With sugar on top? I'll be your best friend, especially if you review her too ^points above head^ . Thank you, and good night!

This story archived at