Post HBP warfic. Can two people find comfort in one of the darkest times and places?Category: Completed Short Stories
Wow...I'm quite speechless. I'm usually not a fan of abused!Draco, but I suppose he wasn't all the way broken, and that's what made this so great. I loved the imagery that you used; you're a very powerful writer. I found myself holding my breath as I read, and sighing with relief when I discovered that Draco was saved too. Thank you for this. :)
Ginny Weasley and Draco Malfoy are two individuals that do much better just like that: individually. When looking out for themselves involves keeping the other away, it begins to dawn on them that maybe they've got it all wrong. What happens when their hearts decide that perhaps two is always better than one?Category: Works in Progress
I love this beginning. Your writing is excellent, and you really do have awesome descriptions. Not to mention I'm loving the premise!
Author's Response: Thank you for all of the praise, Leigh! It's doing wonders to my ego, haha. =]
Oooh, I love the banter. I think you've nailed the characterizations here, too. Ginny's fiery and strong and Draco is snarky and sexy. You really need to update this!
Author's Response: I'm really glad you liked that. It's what I was aiming for in this chapter, to set the base for their character interactions, so it's nice to see that it was obvious to the reader's eyes! And I truly am working on the next chapter, it's just taking a lot longer than I expected!
They fight, break-up, then make-up....and give out points?Category: Completed Short Stories
I never reviewed over at FF so I'm going to sing my praises over here! Your beta is an angel--this does flow nicely and showcases your brilliant writing all the better.
I love it when Draco and Ginny try to get revenge--and that Ginny played so dirty! I positively laughed out loud when she got Draco's complaining letter. Bad witch.
And the "making up" was simply fantastic. I LOVE that they gave each other points, too! That seems so apropos. Nothing like a healthy dose of competition to make things, er, interesting...
Anyway, yays overall!
Every teenager has a moment that is so horrible and embarrassing that they wish it had never happened. Usually, they simply have to learn to live with the consequences. But, she is no ordinary teenager. She's a witch with access to a Time-TurnerCategory: Completed Short Stories
[Second place winner in persephone33's Great D/G Time-Turner Contest 2009]
Gah! I loved it!
This was amazingly cute, Gidge! You captured young Ginny so well--the sweet impulsivity, and the way she didn't think her actions through quite all the way. Very lovely. And Draco was sublime. I loved the way he kept an eye on her the whole time.
I loved your descriptions of the physicality, too. You always excel in that area--it helped capture the awkwardness of the situations well, particularly when she tried to confront Draco in the hall.
I enjoyed the simplicity of this story, too. The straightforward plot let your characters really shine, even down to Goyle and Seamus. You're absolutely brilliant. :)
Author's Response: You are too kind, my dear. But thank you. I had a great time writing it. It was nice to work on something more simple for a change. As soon as I read Time-Turner, I seemed to remember being embarrassed in school over some insignificant thing and how I wished I could erase that moment, and how as a teen we blow it all out of proportion. The story came to life from there.
Thanks again for your lovely feedback.
Sometimes, Ginny just wanted to break mirrors so she'd be certain to live for another seven years. She wondered if seeing her face splinter like Draco's mind already had would be worth it.Category: Works in Progress
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Okay, I'm doing this...I don't know how long I'll have, but I'll try to get through both. I've read this chapter before, but I haven't read the third yet.
(btdubs, I love the Windows 7 feature of putting two windows side-by-side. It makes reviewing as I go so much easier.)
I love Draco's insanity here. You've wound a delicate filament of pure wack-job through his actions and dialog in these first few paragraphs, and as a result he's dangerous, unpredictable, and frightening -- and I want to know more.
The quick flip from "How have you been?" to the pressure on the wand made me catch my breath, I'll readily admit. Remarkable job expressing the emotional aftermath of her stalwart, foolhardy-but-battle-wizened decisions.
If this were a film and I was casting Draco, Depp would be a first choice by far (in manner, not in look). ;)
//during her brief stint in Azkaban//
^ I must know more about this. Don't forget.
//"I was looking for you," Ginny said, ignoring the initial statement that came to mind: I already told you that I needed to talk to you.//
He just said that. Did you intend to have her repeat what he said? It seems a little odd, because she seems to think he's bonkers for asking again, but he didn't ask again...if that makes a lick of sense.
As for your description of Draco, there are no words. You've done this so beautifully that it's nearly heartbreaking; you've managed to remind me why I like poetry...and this is prose.
//"Merlin's left nut, Weaselette!"//
That line will always make me laugh, since I can't help but recall the discussion about it. That and Rowan's "Helga Hufflepuffs tits!" And why his left one, hm? I dare you to write something to explain that away.
I don't like that she defines herself by her broken state. I can understand defining others that way, or the world that way, but it doesn't sit well that she's decided that she's broken. And that hits on something I hope you'll delve into as this story continues -- why is she fighting? What keeps her engaged in this battle -- causes her to take so many risks daily? Obviously there's the honor of the thing, and her fiery canon Gryffindor traits, and you've hinted at vengeance/justice with the line about her dead parents, but I expect more from Ginny. No -- I expect more from you. I have a feeling you'll deliver. ;)
Halcyon Days. Whether it refers to Plato, the bird, or days of yore, I like it. And I think you like Greek mythology more than a normal person...not that I'm one to talk, apparently. And why do I know the name Margaretha Zelle? Am I imagining familiarity?
I love that she flies at him instead of throwing a counter-curse. Effective and very Ginny-like, though I seem to remember a startlingly good ability with counter-curses from the first chapter. I also love the way you've described the action; you've kept the energy without sacrificing the poetry.
//"She tried her best to angle her forehead so that it was the one that slammed into his nose"//
That sentence is awkwardly worded. In your defense, that's not an easy idea to convey, but since I did wrinkle my nose in puzzlement as I read, I'm mentioning it (also, the rest of this sentence is in need of love, too).
//Actually, in retrospect, this entire plan to hunt down Draco Malfoy was a terrible idea.//
Thank you! I'm so glad that SHE still has something of a grip on sane. This entire thing is velvety dark, but at the same time, a small part of me finds immense comedy in the sheer extremity of her predicament. I wonder if she's able to see that too. I suppose that's another reason I think she needs to stop being defined by her broken state -- I feel she should (sometimes) manage to see how funny this all is. And I think she does, given the next paragraph.
//activities that involve you, me, and your viscera//
Gross, Roma! What a line...at least YOU have a dedicated sense of humor.
I'm not sure how I feel about the amount of inner dialog you've sprinkled liberally throughout the latter half of this chapter. I think the beginning, with its intense description and heavy character interaction, is a great deal stronger than repeatedly cutting back to Ginny's mind as they talk. I understand why you're doing it -- there's a lot of exposition going on -- but it's SO much better when it's coming just as much from action and inference as it is from internal thoughts.
Why is she letting him do evil dark spells that she doesn't understand? I have a hard time believing that she'd let him slice her skin and whisper sinister incantations inches from her rather vulnerable womb without understanding a lick of what he's doing. If that doesn't come back to haunt her, I'll throw something. Okay, I see she realized this. But "primitive war paint"? That CAN'T be good. What kind of paternity test leaves a bloody mark?
But excellent job, nonetheless, with the dark magic. One thing that shines in this entire piece is your boundless creativity. I love the way you play with worlds.
Again, his sudden jump to baby names is a well-executed stroke of insanity -- and once more, I rather like him, though I shouldn't like to meet him in the dark. And the Aries "appreciate the poetry" bit? Trust someone named Draco to be so...clever.
//She remembered the gin and tonic. She'd thought she was being clever.//
What? What is this? I don't remember this from chapter one. Are you hinting at a past inside joke? If so, you MUST EXPLAIN!
Lovely end. I've such a ridiculous love affair with cliff hangers.
I'll have to do the third chapter later. I just spent AN HOUR AND HALF writing this, and though I was interrupted frequently, it's still impressive.
(And Mata Hari? Very nice.)
All Ginny wants is to get the upper hand just once with drool-worthy hunk of man candy and callous playboy Draco Malfoy before he moves on to his next careless conquest. So how did this simple plan lead to time travel, nefarious plots involving the most infamous whorehouse in the wizarding world, and the teenaged Draco’s achingly sweet, chocolate-flavored kisses? Even Draco Malfoy was innocent once, as Ginny learns all too well…Category: Long and Completed
Chapter ONE HUNDRED EIGHTEEN Quote of the Day:
THE LAST CHAPTER
The minutes ticked by, long enough for Ginny to know that against all reason, all common sense, she still wanted impossible things from him. But she would leave. Even after today, even when her body ached from him and for him, when she could feel that he had begun to shape her to him, she would turn around and leave him. I will, I will, she thought.
“You don’t understand,” said Draco.
“Oh?” Ginny said stiffly. “At least he hadn’t touched her, she thought. She would not be able to find the strength to pull herself away from him, and she knew it.
I like this chapter as an introduction to a larger story, though I'm not sure how I feel about Ginny yet. But I'll come back to that.
I like the way you've juxtaposed the rightness of "things as they should be" through the beginning part, and then slipped in those references to things that are not how they should be, from Draco's long look as a boy through Ginny's argument with Hermione over the Department of Mysteries. I'm curious as to whether that will be a theme throughout the story (and if so, managing to carry such a theme all the way through such a lengthy story will be an impressive venture).
I found that final argument interesting, because you spent most of the chapter on quick little vignettes through Ginny's years at Hogwarts and just beyond, but then you gave us that whole scene, complete with dialog. I'll hazard another guess, then, that the Department of Mysteries has a part to play in this story. Of course, I could be entirely wrong. I do read too much into these things.
Finally...Ginny. I'm not sure why I don't like her much here; perhaps it's my own feelings about life and fate and "things as they should be" that I'm projecting on her. I guess she seems to be something of a fatalist here, and I have never been quite comfortable with the idea of fate. But beyond just that, she seems a little distant. I suppose that's intentional, and I look forward to reading how you'll develop her character.
Finally--the title. We've had just a few glimpses into Draco, and yet this is his dilemma? I must admit that I'm quite curious...but there is only one way to satiate that. I'll have to continue reading.
Author's Response: Oo! What a great review. :) (claps hands) (hands out Review Prize. This can be a review crown if you like.) I love, love that you picked up on some of the foreshadowing I've included. Contrary to standard Aniseficprocedure, I wrote a lot of this fic in advance, and particularly planned out the plot and themes (glares at normally disobedient plot bunny, which is now peacefully nibbling on the grass. For now, anyway. You've got to keep a careful eye on these bunnies.) The DoM and its activities will be very important throughout the entire fic. One thing I love about the way the story is unfolding as Ginny tells it to me... um... (why are the men in the white coats chasing me with the butterfly nets again?) Never mind. I mean, as I write it completely from my own imagination... of course that's what I mean, yes, that's it... is the different ways that both Ginny and Draco's characters change and grow over time. In the beginning, I don't know if Ginny actually *is* a sympathetic character. Draco's dilemma is, and will be, an interesting one. I don't think anyone will guess exactly what it is yet, because there just hasn't been enough information, but Chapter 6 actually provided the very first specific clues.
A lovely chapter! I was right; I just needed to get to know Ginny's character a little better to fall properly in love.
She does have a mighty temper here. I'm very glad, and I like her better already. A true fatalist probably wouldn't rip hair from another's head. And anyone addicted to espresso is a friend of mine, so I think we're square in that department.
Draco intrigues me as well. I think this mysterious change from rather scarily melancholy teen to confident adult is a good one, though how he became that way remains a mystery.
I loved the bits of humor here and there, too, especially in Rita's article -- and the fact that Ginny doesn't realize that Colin doesn't need a girlfriend makes me laugh.
I suppose I'll have to go on, though I'm wary of your promise at the beginning of the story, and I fear how long I'll have to wait for my questions to be answered! Ah, well. Such is the life of a serial fanfic reader.
Author's Response: Ginny's gaydar can leave something to be desired, as we shall see in future chapters. ;)
I feel I should disclaim and say that I have the potentially awful habit of reviewing chapters as I read them. I like recording my first impressions, but it can all too frequently lead to a rather disjointed review. I suppose I'll apologize in advance and that will have to do.
I've always liked the idea of Ginny having something of an artistic temperament, and pottery suits her. Getting one's hands dirty, and the very tactile nature of molding the wet, slippery clay as it spins--it's all very real, I suppose, and Ginny is very real. If you had her philosophizing and reading Kant, I might take issue...but throwing pottery? Yes.
I'm afraid that Mr. Crumblygotts and Yoda of Jedi Knight fame are now irrevocably one and the same in my mind. Thank you ever so much for that.
I find myself feeling a bit cheated by the lack of information regarding her relationship with Harry. It seems quite formative to her character, and yet I'm limited to the knowledge that he is a cheating bastard and is a bit impoverished when it comes to the family jewels. I'm not the greatest fan of Harry in any situation, so it's really Ginny that I want more from. What used to fill the space that is now numb?
I suppose her car broke down in Wiltshire, hm? If I'm correct, it's between London and the southwest coast. Now, this Tom character...I think I shall have to think about that a bit more before I make a real prediction. I'm sure it is important, and I wonder if it dovetails into the DoM part of the plot (which, you can see, I am assuming is still a right thing to deign important).
Or perhaps Draco is telling the truth. But you give me reason to doubt that, and so...I doubt.
I really like the awkward tension that she has in spades, yet he seems impervious to. At the same time (unless I'm reading into things far too deeply again), I can see that you're developing some subtle flaws in him, and I appreciate that.
As for Michael, I'm a bit shocked - but I've begun to suspect that the curse Ginny mentioned sarcastically in the first chapter might not be too off from the truth. I wonder if our mysterious gnome-like friend has anything to do with it, or perhaps a differently source entirely, and he is only related tangentially?
...and I come to the end with more questions than answers, once again. I'm a bit tempted to shake a fist at that bunny of yours, however obedient it's being at the moment.
Author's Response: No, your reviewing habits are very GOOD... :) Anyway. We haven't seen the last of Harry, believe me, and neither has Ginny. He'll be back... (cue ominous background music)
I love (once again) that she's so self-conscious and that he is NOT completely the opposite. For all that I'm reading far too deeply into this, I get the idea that he's not as comfortable as he seems to be. I'm not sure if that makes sense; forgive me. I ought to not review on the amount of sleep I've had.
I love the little details that you bring in, sort of expanding the world of canon and bringing in these remarkable little insights into the characters at the same time. Well, you do this with Ginny, anyway. I suppose Draco is harder because he's more closed off, and I doubt the Death Eaters have as rousing of a fight song as the Chudley Cannons.
I adore her conversation with her brain. It made me giggle; I know that type of insanity a little too well when it comes to men. Silly things, they are. Though I must say that it says something about the author's brain to write such an inner dialog so accurately. Not that I'm accusing you of madness--I noticed that you have a story with over 120 chapters, and I think that is evidence enough. ;)
I've decided that fate, or gods, or powers-that-be want Ginny and Draco to hook up. That's the only way I can justify this scene in my mind, given Ginny's character up to this point. I think I'll be fairly shocked if I'm totally off-base this time.
Marie, hm? I wondered if it was a girl when he was "Mmm"-ing in the first chapter. But is it a girl? Oh, bother. Now I don't know what to think, and I guarantee it's because I'm so stupid with exhaustion. And I did want to read two chapters tonight, but I'm afraid the second set of thoughts would read more like Ginny's conversation with herself and less like a review of the work. Ah, well.
Draco's deepest, darkest secret is accidentally revealed to the world. A hissy fit ensues.Category: Completed Short Stories
Oh, that made me laugh! I wasn't sure how I felt about Draco being such a ridiculous drama queen, but all in all I do love it when he's out of his comfort zone, and he is such fun when he's vain. Thanks for the charming little diversion!
It looked like we were photographed at gun point so I had to laugh.Category: Works in Progress
I sensed there was a history here right away. But when he asked "How's Henry?" and I quickly realized (it took /perhaps/ two seconds) that you were unlikely to make up an OC boyfriend and that this was probably a child, my heart stopped.
Cruel, cruel Rowan, to break up Draco and Ginny. :( I hope this is a story of how they find love again and the last chapter isn't going to take me back a few years and walk me through the bloody mess. I am nervous.
Nerves aside, as always, the details shine. Your descriptions are never labored and yet I can picture it all, from the luxe ball to the lift in his eyebrows that you didn't write but happened, I swear. Gah. I can't deny that I envy your talent. ;)
Gah. Okay, so when she was flying at dawn I thought, "I hope Henry is a dog." Makes the whole thing much easier to swallow. I think I was remembering your drabble about frosting the cake and dying a little at the thought. How funny that Draco is a cat person. I was so relieved.
And you have created an OC boyfriend. Or very nearly; I don't recognize the name. ;)
So many plot-threads left dangling in this chapter. Astoria, Marcus, Hermione ... the first chapter felt very neat and tidy, contained. This one feels like a corridor with a dozen doors and I'm very curious to see how you'll navigate through all of them.
Can't wait to find out. :)