Name: MercyAller1977 reviewed
Draco Malfoy on Dec 29, 2005 09:19 am
Nice. Draco's reaction was typical Malfoy, bratty and arrogant and entirely too self-absorbed. I wonder what task he'll choose though. Too bad WWW doesn't have a branch in Hogmeade, it would have been awesome if he'd been forced to work under the Weasley twins!
Author's Response: lol
Name: Embellished reviewed
Draco Malfoy on May 29, 2005 01:24 pm
You do a nice job of portraying Draco as a nasty little rich boy in this chapter. One thing you might want to think about in the future is how to use repetition most effectively. You repeated the letters that Ginny had gotten in the first chapter, which seemed like a bit much. Maybe in future chapters when Draco and Ginny experience something similar, focus on their reactions to the experience rather than talking about the experience again. You definitely did a good job of showing us Draco's reaction here. Just try to write the chapter in such a way that you can have the reaction without actually reading the letter. I do like the contrast between Draco and Ginny's reactions to the new program. It helps set up their characters for the rest of the story.
Author's Response: Hey,
Thanks a lot. I'll do that. Hope you update your story soon.
Name: skully reviewed
Draco Malfoy on May 29, 2005 09:57 am
Okay, this is definately an original idea. I like it. One thing I noticed in the first chapter is Ginny fell asleep looking at a magazine on the couch, but woke up in a pink chair. In the second chapter I wondered why Draco dismisses the house elf when Narcissa is throwing a tea party. I think that your story is good, and I can't wait for an update. Feel free to read and tear apart my story.
Author's Response: Hey,
Thanks for the tip about the couch and chair thing. Alley is only Draco's house elf. She only works for him. I'll mention that in the next chapter. In my mind I see that there are a lot of house elfs at the Malfoy Manor.
Name: INDYCICURN reviewed
Draco Malfoy on May 28, 2005 05:22 pm
It is a love/hate kind of thing for me when authors leave you hanging at the end of a chapter...makes you crave more but also frustrates you...though I suppose it is the sign of a great author to leave thier readers wanting more. Very good use of imagery.
looking forward to the next chapter..
Kristine
Author's Response: Hey,
Thanks. lol. I won't leave you hanging for long. I sent you an email, hope you get it soon.
Name: firepower reviewed
Draco Malfoy on May 28, 2005 08:40 am
OMG!!!! great story. it's aly...or alissa. i forgot what i called myself before. aly is a nickname so w/e. anyway, that was soooo great. chap 2 is funny. but now i really wanna know what the shriek was. by the way, is there a venus flytrap in the malfoy garden? it just seems like a death-eater type of thing. sorry. that was really random. lol.
Author's Response: Hey,
Glad you liked my story. You'll find out what the shriek was. Have you written any stories? It wasn't random...well it was. lol. But I might use that idea. Thanks for the review.