love ginny's personality!! she won't earned brownie points with this team!!

Snerk. If I planned to be mean, I would tell you that all of the writing discussions need to wait until the OFIC forums open... ;)

(waits)

Okay, I'm not that mean. Because it won't be open to anybody except potential mods at first.

I do think that the questions surrounding Ginny's characterization are the ones that apply to ANY character we write, whether this character is 100% original, very canonesque, not too canonesque but still in the realm of fanfic, and so on. In my F2F writers' group, one of the biggest issues that keep cropping up is that authors have trouble defining what their characters want. The other part of this is that they don't make their characters' desires strong enough and specific enough so that readers believe those desires will drive them to the actions in the fic.

I think that this is a really, really complex issue, and it does need an entire topic of its own (someplace just like the OFIC forum, yay!) But I also think that there's a specific issue when it comes to Ginny. The following is all IMHO, of course... ;) She's a character who had incredible potential up until a certain point in Book 6. Then, that potential was largely trashed. I really think that she was blanded out, flattened, and the complexity of her character was squashed. I could go on about THAT for, oh, about eight hundred pages or so... :P But the point is that it can be hard to completely free ourselves, as writers, from that Ginny. She's the one who ended up being canon. I've fallen into that hauntedbycanon!Ginny trap sometimes, for sure. A lot of what makes D/G so appealing, I think, is that it allows us to write a complete, complex Ginny... but it's still so tricky to do. I could go on and on about all of this, but that's enough for now! ;)

Hooray for the beginning of a D/G friendship! And they're finally calling each other by their first names!! After they saved each others' lives, it's only proper, right? ;)

The way you developed their relationship is really believable and well paced. It's not rushed nor forced, and Draco's respect and concern for her didn't just pop out of nowhere. It's so good to see him start to care for her! That final scene was so good!! They'll end up in Malfoy Manor, won't they? I hope they do! Ginny will be very safe there. Of course Draco won't let any harm befall her; not on his watch! ...and under his own roof to boot! Plus, if they're in the same house, D/G moments will be more possible! Squeeee!! Can't wait to read the next chapter!

P.S. I was almost terrified you won't update your story this week! I've been checking since two days ago. Haha. Thank you so much for the update! x

Author's Response: YAY believability! Hopefully that continues on through the next chapter, which you may or may not have called ;) Totally not telling. Also, I am SO SORRY for freaking you out. I just didn't submit my chapter early enough to become validated by Thursday. If I die, it's already in my will that the chapters will keep updating, so have no fear! XD

"That's not what bothers me," Kingsley replied slowly. "Your squad should have been able to handle that. What bothers me is that three of your number Disapparated from battle, and one of them fought for the wrong side."

This does interest me, because I still can't figure out exactly what's going through Kingsley's head. Why exactly DID he approve the Slytherin Squad? How did he really think they were going to behave? Is this anything that he expected?

Ginny really knows how to strategize...

Great cliffhanger!

Okay, just so there's SOME constructive criticism here... just a little bit, okay...

I do feel like I want a better grasp sometimes on what Ginny has at stake. With Draco, we know.

“I bet the way they told it was far from flattering.” Malfoy sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets. He owed her honesty--that much was inescapable. “Too many Slytherins supported Voldemort. Most that I know just did it because it was...assumed. The prejudice against us now is well-earned; you won’t see me denying that.” He looked off to the side as his voice turned raw. “I’m just not willing to settle for it. When the next Dark Lord comes around, I want people to be surprised when a Slytherin gives up their own ambitions to follow him.”

We feel what he has to lose, and to gain. I do think that your Draco is a slightly "thicker" character than your Ginny, at least some of the time.

Understand... this means that I think your story is so good that it's *worth* leaving the CC (aka "constructive criticism." ;) For fics that aren't this good... well, it might not even be worth making the effort. I haven't done it very often at all. It's a compliment, in a way! ;) You really have something great here, and I want to keep reading and find out where it goes.

Author's Response: I get what you're saying about Kingsley. I don't want to Word-of-God tell you, but don't know how to work Kingsley's motivations into the story better. Hrrmmmph. Yes, I absolutely get what you're saying about Ginny. I love and welcome CC, so I really do appreciate hearing how I can do better. My problem is, and I'm just going to be blunt, I STARTED writing Ginny with a less persuasive motivation than Draco, and now I've finished the story. Whenever I reread it, I'm struck with how much less engaging Ginny is, how she's absolutely the secondary character...and I don't know how to fix it without basically starting over. I would LOVE help on fixing Ginny. Also, in chapter 2's review you mentioned that Ginny was insufferable. Has that lessened at all or is she still annoying to read? Thank you SO MUCH for the feedback, good and critical. I adore it :D

Another great chapter! You know, I always had a soft spot for Greg Goyle. ;) What's fascinating here is that the Slytherin Squad probably really *can't* be trusted... it's not just a simple misunderstanding that will be all be cleared up soon, and then they'll hold hands and sing... I can't remember, whatever song that is the Unitarians sing... you know what I mean. ;)

"Draco Malfoy was a miserable wretch. Most people assumed this had begun after the Battle of Hogwarts, when his father was shipped off to Azkaban, Draco was hauled in front of the Wizengamot, and his feeble, traitorous actions were barely enough to save his own neck from the chopping block."

What a wonderful first sentence! You really know how to grab our attention from the very beginning. :)

What a wonderful characterization you build of your Draco. He is certainly not idealized; we kind of see what he could become either way, I think. But he has the power of choice, and he does choose to take a step that has the potential to take his life somewhere constructive. He doesn't know how it will work out, and he suspects (pretty reasonably, I think), that it might be a disaster. In his own way, he makes a leap to faith.

(Okay, when's the last time you saw Søren Kierkegaard quoted in a D/G review? ;)

But he's deliciously imperfect. "If there was anything he liked more than not being held responsible, it was favoritism." WONDERFUL example.

And then Draco's shaky new world is thrown into peril when his mentor dies...
On to the next chapter!

Nice background on Malfoy’s reasoning to join and his relationship with deceased captain.

Of course!! Of course Ginny makes one hell of a cup of tea!! I wouldn't expect anything less. And I expect Draco to ask for more of it! Lol.

And hooray, Daphne is not so bad, after all! She has personality and I appreciate that. What, oh what will happen to Yaxley's trial? And who will help him escape? Eeep! The suspense! Good thing there's still one chapter after this. Onwards I gooooo!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you like the Slytherins. Daphne was hard (and so much fun) because I didn't want her to be nice, but still wanted her to be likable. So I'm really happy that shows through :)

Hi! Just found your fic!

I like how you added sprinkles of humor all over this chapter but it still remained firm to its plot and its explanations to what the story is about. Oh, and how you ended this chapter was very clever. Overall a very good start to jumpstart your story!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! That was exactly what I was trying to do, so I'm really pleased that you like it. I'd love to hear what you think about the later chapters, and if they were deserving of the jumpstart. :)

Poor Ginny, I hope she doesn't loose all her support systems. Is Luna still her friend?

Author's Response: Luna is absolutely still her friend, although this story has so many characters that Luna doesn't show up for quite a few chapters yet. Unfortunately it's little more than a cameo when she does. I love Luna, so I was sad I couldn't find a bigger role for her.

Very good! I am loving that Ginny is in her stride while Draco is almost stumbling along. Can't wait to read more of this exciting tale!

Author's Response: "exciting tale"! You make me squee with happiness. I was ridiculously worried the action was unfollowably confusing, so this is great to hear :)

(pops head in)

I'll review this very soon!!! I'm working on a 20,000 word submission for my F2F writers' group. Because I am insane. :) But I have a list of fics that I'll be getting to right after that. Yours is #1! :)

Author's Response: I'm honored! Can't wait to hear what you think! :)