Disclaimer: Sadly enough, I do not own Harry Potter… the characters and the storyline etc. belong to J.K. Shame, she could’ve at least let me borrow Draco, lol.
Summary: At first it was simple Draco+Ginny AKA Malfoy+Weasley = enemies. During a fight, a baby comes between them. Literally. They are told to watch the baby (as punishment). Do things change? You bet.
Baby, Oh Baby
II: I Introduce to the World…
Draco’s P.O.V.
Dear Gods, the Weaselette fainted! Perfect timing. I’m carrying her AND a crying rugrat. Professor McGonagall had the easy job: carrying the babies in the pink and the green. They don’t make any noise, no less.
I rolled my eyes heavenward. “Which one of you guys hates me?” I grumbled. “Carrying her AND a kid is no easy task – it’s like she put on 10 pounds in the past half hour!”
Weaselette groaned. “I heard that,” came the barely audible voice.
“Can you walk?” She nodded. “Good.” With a ::thump:: I dropped her on her rump on the floor. As she opened her mouth to curse at me, I pointed to the cause of my pain from both Deputy Headmistress AKA Professor and one of my peers. “Would you have preferred me drop you on your head?” I paused. “Besides, I didn’t want to drop the baby and get another beating… a person could sue for abuse, you know!” I glared at her accusingly; she merely laughed it off.
“Uh, hey, Draco? Where’s the Professor?” My Weaselette had this cute puppy – Woah! WTF?! ‘My Weaselette?’ ‘Cute puppy look?!’ And she used my first name, no less.
“Mister Malfoy, Miss Weasley, I do NOT have all day. Unless you’d like to see the Headmaster some OTHER time?” I swear that damn woman’s been taking lessons from Snape or something; that eyebrow raising of hers looks too much like a Slytherin.
“Well?” I realized that I hadn’t been paying attention to a thing that had happened, and that the blasted child in my arms was *still* wailing his head off.
Looking at Weasel, I tried to sneer without looking too much like a deer caught in headlights.
…
What the hell ARE headlights, anyway? All I know is that they’re part of an expression. Bah, who cares. Malfoys do not ponder over things, especially Muggle shit. It’s no where near dignified.
“Neither is cursing,” a voice interrupted my train of thought.
I managed to hold back a blush. Seems that I’d been talking out loud. Hold it.
“Is someone going a little soft on me, my lovely redhead?” I snickered almost inaudibly.
“Oh, not at all, honey-muffin poopey-dragon.” Why is that sickeningly sweet smile making my stomach churn? Ugh, and that name!
::whap:: Spoke too soon.
“Holy fu-“ I stopped. Those slaps hurt like a BITCH. I don’t want another one gracing my gorgeous face – not like I’d give her the pleasure of knowing that, though. She is a Weasley, and I and the rich Slytherin Sex God Malfoy. That does NOT add up.
“Is there a problem, Mister Malfoy?” Where does this woman keep on coming from, and WHY?
“Not at all.” I stalked off towards the Headmaster’s office (‘yet again,’ I noted dryly).
“Hey, Malfoy…” There was a rustle of robes, and the weasel child appeared at my side.
“What now?!” I snarled. Momentarily she seemed unaffected by this. Momentarily.
“If they start crying, then I will have your head for dinner, Draco Malfoy,” she hissed.
“Lord only knows what you’d use it for.” I wiggled my eyebrows, mentally cheering as she squirmed uncomfortably in fury.
“Anyway,” she spoke as soon as she regained her composure. “What shall we call these little…” Her attention was drawn towards my chest as she trailed off.
…
…
Hey, this staring’s kind of starting to creep me out.
“Oh, Draco.”
Oh, man. I wish she hadn’t done that. Even exasperated she sounded kinda hot. Thank Merlin robes are loose.
“No wonder he’s been crying. You’re holding him incorrectly.”
“What?” I always thought that a brat’s head was supposed to be level with his feet. “It’s the way my father used to hold me.”
“No wonder you’re so messed up in the head,” she grumbled.
Little Weasley – since I feel goofy saying ‘she’ all the time, and there must be about 1,000 of them in this school – stepped towards me. The Crying Pain in the Arse was grasped gently.
“You do this – “ she moved one of my elbows so the baby’s head rested near my elbow, “-and this, and… Yuck. Looks like someone needs a diapey change!”
“Diapey? … Oh, that’s disgusting, Weasley! There’s no way in hell I’m doing that,” I cried as she looked at me expectantly. “You must be out of your damn mind!”
“Hello, Mr. Malfoy, Miss Weasley. Good evening to you both. Now what is this that Minerva – Professor McGonagall to you lot – has been telling me about babysitting?” That twinkle in his eyes as we told out story was unmistakable; the old man was plotting something.
“And now here we are,” finished Gin – I mean, the youngest Weasley child. Yeah, I mean her.
“Seems to me,” McGonagall began, “that what we have here is –“
“Cooperation,” Dumbledore said.
“Eh?” I always knew the old geezer was off his rocker.
“Young Mister Malfoy, I am most certainly off of my rocker.” Big pause. “I’m on my cushioned chair.”
Nutcase.
“I was actually going to say that we had a failure to cooperate,” McGonagall mumbled.
“Well, I have a proposal for the two of you.” Generally, whenever Dumbledore makes proposals, it causes on my – the Head Boy’s – part. “You will take care of these three bundles of joy until their parents retrieve them.”
“No way!” … Why am I the only one opposed to this? As I turned around, I realized why: Weaselette was cuddling the blue blanket one.
“Mister Malfoy, I do not believe that you have a say in this.” Whoa! Where the hell did Snape come from? He just kinda… popped up. ‘Gee, a lot of people seem to be doing that lately,’ I thought. ‘Oh, the irony of it all; I thought we couldn’t apparate in the building.’ What is it with teachers and lurking in dark corners anyway; Filch and that cat, Mrs. Norris, are bad enough.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. Presented to the world for the first time are Mr. and Mrs. Draco and Virginia Malfoy.” My eyes bulged out of their sockets. “And you share custody,” he continued, this stupid smile practically glued to his face.
“Whaaa?!!”
“Did you not hear hat part of the agreement… punishment, Mal – Draco, dear? We have to pretend to be together for the kids, and the punishment,” said – well, I guess I’ll have to use her name now – Ginny. Though I couldn’t help gloating at the fact that she looked worse with this news than I did; Professor Snape was paler than usual, and Professor McGonagall could’ve easily friend an egg on her face.
“I, umm, guess I missed it.” Professor Snape was giving me this glare… you know the one – ‘THE’ Glare. Figures. He’s probably thinking the same thing that I am. The sooner I start, the sooner it ends.
“I will not tolerate these imbeciles,” Snape curled his lip while Ginny gasped, “in my classroom.”
“Don’t call them that!”
“Ah, the place of a mother,” Dumbledore sighed wistfully. ‘What is he smoking?!’
“Come along, ::gag:: Virginia. We must get going.” Excuse me while I hurl for being polite to a Weasley.
She smirked at me. “Oh, that IS right!” ‘WTF?’ “Someone needs his diapey changed! And someone else needs to learn how to change it.” I was given this sinister grin.
‘Oh, Gods no,’ I pleaded, as she dragged me out of the door kicking and screaming with three brats in tow.
Vaguely, I heard Professor Snape saying, “That boy could probably be heard in the Great Hall”
Guess who happened to pop up on the way downstairs? The Dream Trio. Weasel, Pothead, and Mudblood. Yippee. Oh, and that Lavender chick.
I grimaced. Bad flashback. I caught Weasel and Lovegood snogging in an empty classroom. Not a pretty picture. I was scarred for life.
“Ferret Asswipe! What the hell are you doing near my sister?” I almost feel sorry for the beating that he’s about to get. Almost. “And whose kids are these?!”
“I would like to introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Draco and Virginia Malfoy… And kids,” Snape called smoothly over his shoulder as he passed.
…
So now he joins McGonagall on my hit list.
“Bloody fucking hell!” Ooh, now he’s gonna die. I closed my eyes and braced myself as a fist went flying.
Summary: At first it was simple Draco+Ginny AKA Malfoy+Weasley = enemies. During a fight, a baby comes between them. Literally. They are told to watch the baby (as punishment). Do things change? You bet.
Baby, Oh Baby
II: I Introduce to the World…
Draco’s P.O.V.
Dear Gods, the Weaselette fainted! Perfect timing. I’m carrying her AND a crying rugrat. Professor McGonagall had the easy job: carrying the babies in the pink and the green. They don’t make any noise, no less.
I rolled my eyes heavenward. “Which one of you guys hates me?” I grumbled. “Carrying her AND a kid is no easy task – it’s like she put on 10 pounds in the past half hour!”
Weaselette groaned. “I heard that,” came the barely audible voice.
“Can you walk?” She nodded. “Good.” With a ::thump:: I dropped her on her rump on the floor. As she opened her mouth to curse at me, I pointed to the cause of my pain from both Deputy Headmistress AKA Professor and one of my peers. “Would you have preferred me drop you on your head?” I paused. “Besides, I didn’t want to drop the baby and get another beating… a person could sue for abuse, you know!” I glared at her accusingly; she merely laughed it off.
“Uh, hey, Draco? Where’s the Professor?” My Weaselette had this cute puppy – Woah! WTF?! ‘My Weaselette?’ ‘Cute puppy look?!’ And she used my first name, no less.
“Mister Malfoy, Miss Weasley, I do NOT have all day. Unless you’d like to see the Headmaster some OTHER time?” I swear that damn woman’s been taking lessons from Snape or something; that eyebrow raising of hers looks too much like a Slytherin.
“Well?” I realized that I hadn’t been paying attention to a thing that had happened, and that the blasted child in my arms was *still* wailing his head off.
Looking at Weasel, I tried to sneer without looking too much like a deer caught in headlights.
…
What the hell ARE headlights, anyway? All I know is that they’re part of an expression. Bah, who cares. Malfoys do not ponder over things, especially Muggle shit. It’s no where near dignified.
“Neither is cursing,” a voice interrupted my train of thought.
I managed to hold back a blush. Seems that I’d been talking out loud. Hold it.
“Is someone going a little soft on me, my lovely redhead?” I snickered almost inaudibly.
“Oh, not at all, honey-muffin poopey-dragon.” Why is that sickeningly sweet smile making my stomach churn? Ugh, and that name!
::whap:: Spoke too soon.
“Holy fu-“ I stopped. Those slaps hurt like a BITCH. I don’t want another one gracing my gorgeous face – not like I’d give her the pleasure of knowing that, though. She is a Weasley, and I and the rich Slytherin Sex God Malfoy. That does NOT add up.
“Is there a problem, Mister Malfoy?” Where does this woman keep on coming from, and WHY?
“Not at all.” I stalked off towards the Headmaster’s office (‘yet again,’ I noted dryly).
“Hey, Malfoy…” There was a rustle of robes, and the weasel child appeared at my side.
“What now?!” I snarled. Momentarily she seemed unaffected by this. Momentarily.
“If they start crying, then I will have your head for dinner, Draco Malfoy,” she hissed.
“Lord only knows what you’d use it for.” I wiggled my eyebrows, mentally cheering as she squirmed uncomfortably in fury.
“Anyway,” she spoke as soon as she regained her composure. “What shall we call these little…” Her attention was drawn towards my chest as she trailed off.
…
…
Hey, this staring’s kind of starting to creep me out.
“Oh, Draco.”
Oh, man. I wish she hadn’t done that. Even exasperated she sounded kinda hot. Thank Merlin robes are loose.
“No wonder he’s been crying. You’re holding him incorrectly.”
“What?” I always thought that a brat’s head was supposed to be level with his feet. “It’s the way my father used to hold me.”
“No wonder you’re so messed up in the head,” she grumbled.
Little Weasley – since I feel goofy saying ‘she’ all the time, and there must be about 1,000 of them in this school – stepped towards me. The Crying Pain in the Arse was grasped gently.
“You do this – “ she moved one of my elbows so the baby’s head rested near my elbow, “-and this, and… Yuck. Looks like someone needs a diapey change!”
“Diapey? … Oh, that’s disgusting, Weasley! There’s no way in hell I’m doing that,” I cried as she looked at me expectantly. “You must be out of your damn mind!”
“Hello, Mr. Malfoy, Miss Weasley. Good evening to you both. Now what is this that Minerva – Professor McGonagall to you lot – has been telling me about babysitting?” That twinkle in his eyes as we told out story was unmistakable; the old man was plotting something.
“And now here we are,” finished Gin – I mean, the youngest Weasley child. Yeah, I mean her.
“Seems to me,” McGonagall began, “that what we have here is –“
“Cooperation,” Dumbledore said.
“Eh?” I always knew the old geezer was off his rocker.
“Young Mister Malfoy, I am most certainly off of my rocker.” Big pause. “I’m on my cushioned chair.”
Nutcase.
“I was actually going to say that we had a failure to cooperate,” McGonagall mumbled.
“Well, I have a proposal for the two of you.” Generally, whenever Dumbledore makes proposals, it causes on my – the Head Boy’s – part. “You will take care of these three bundles of joy until their parents retrieve them.”
“No way!” … Why am I the only one opposed to this? As I turned around, I realized why: Weaselette was cuddling the blue blanket one.
“Mister Malfoy, I do not believe that you have a say in this.” Whoa! Where the hell did Snape come from? He just kinda… popped up. ‘Gee, a lot of people seem to be doing that lately,’ I thought. ‘Oh, the irony of it all; I thought we couldn’t apparate in the building.’ What is it with teachers and lurking in dark corners anyway; Filch and that cat, Mrs. Norris, are bad enough.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. Presented to the world for the first time are Mr. and Mrs. Draco and Virginia Malfoy.” My eyes bulged out of their sockets. “And you share custody,” he continued, this stupid smile practically glued to his face.
“Whaaa?!!”
“Did you not hear hat part of the agreement… punishment, Mal – Draco, dear? We have to pretend to be together for the kids, and the punishment,” said – well, I guess I’ll have to use her name now – Ginny. Though I couldn’t help gloating at the fact that she looked worse with this news than I did; Professor Snape was paler than usual, and Professor McGonagall could’ve easily friend an egg on her face.
“I, umm, guess I missed it.” Professor Snape was giving me this glare… you know the one – ‘THE’ Glare. Figures. He’s probably thinking the same thing that I am. The sooner I start, the sooner it ends.
“I will not tolerate these imbeciles,” Snape curled his lip while Ginny gasped, “in my classroom.”
“Don’t call them that!”
“Ah, the place of a mother,” Dumbledore sighed wistfully. ‘What is he smoking?!’
“Come along, ::gag:: Virginia. We must get going.” Excuse me while I hurl for being polite to a Weasley.
She smirked at me. “Oh, that IS right!” ‘WTF?’ “Someone needs his diapey changed! And someone else needs to learn how to change it.” I was given this sinister grin.
‘Oh, Gods no,’ I pleaded, as she dragged me out of the door kicking and screaming with three brats in tow.
Vaguely, I heard Professor Snape saying, “That boy could probably be heard in the Great Hall”
Guess who happened to pop up on the way downstairs? The Dream Trio. Weasel, Pothead, and Mudblood. Yippee. Oh, and that Lavender chick.
I grimaced. Bad flashback. I caught Weasel and Lovegood snogging in an empty classroom. Not a pretty picture. I was scarred for life.
“Ferret Asswipe! What the hell are you doing near my sister?” I almost feel sorry for the beating that he’s about to get. Almost. “And whose kids are these?!”
“I would like to introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Draco and Virginia Malfoy… And kids,” Snape called smoothly over his shoulder as he passed.
…
So now he joins McGonagall on my hit list.
“Bloody fucking hell!” Ooh, now he’s gonna die. I closed my eyes and braced myself as a fist went flying.
To Be Continued.
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This story is a favorite of 6 members. Members who liked Baby, Oh Baby also liked 287 other stories.
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