Stigmatized by Rhina
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Title: Stigmatized
Author: Rhina
Rating (G - R): PG-13
Lyrics: Stigmatized by The Calling in italics
Word Count: 3959
// Thoughts //
Your ficlet:
If I give up on you I give up on me
If we fight what's true, will we ever be
Even God himself and the faith I knew
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you
The brown eyes were scared and the hands that clenched the school bag trembled with the force of holding back her fear. But it wasn't completely fear if you looked carefully in those deep orbs – there was a hint of interest, speculation – curiosity that the bravery of Gryffindor spawned in her. "Why are you showing me that?" she spat out, her red hair swishing over her shoulders in a mix of anger and agitation. "Is it some kind of perverted test?"
"You need to know," he snarled back, pushing the sleeve down once more. "You need to understand that this isn't a game, little Weasel. It's not about another good time."
"So should I build you a monument or crown you with a medal for having enough Gryffindor bravery to display that horrid symbol to me," Ginny retorted, fear sliding back in the force of her anger. "Or is it some kind of trick for saving your own skin? Well, it doesn't matter, you know I don't care – no matter what the circumstances or reasons behind it. And you should know by now I'm not going to run off crying to Dumbledore." Ginny turned away then, moving to leave him behind.
Roughly, his hand grabbed her upper arm and jerked her back so that she was forced to stare up into those stormy grey eyes. "You'd better not," Draco snarled. "You belong to me." His face and voice softened on the edges slightly as he added to that. "I trust you. These weeks… things have changed."
"Do Malfoys even know the meaning of the word trust?" Ginny snarked, part of her irrationally wanting to trust him, the rest of her intellectually rebelling against this action. The man was a Death Eater. He'd shown her the black mark on the pale skin of his forearm. It was one thing to accept needed potions tutoring and even casual, albeit in a sarcastically friendly manner, conversation and another entirely to stay within the company of someone who followed the dreaded Lord Voldemort. "I do see that things have changed. You're a Death Eater."
Those cool grey eyes slid closed as he thought. This was definitely not going according to his plan, but little about his tutoring of the Weaslette was going to plan. He was never supposed to find enjoyment in simple conversation, or find a mind with just as many twists and turns as his own and an innate fondness for sarcasm. It tested his wit and he found that he enjoyed that for a change in comparison to the dullness of servitude that he received from most of his Slytherin compatriots. For some reason, now that she had rejected him, he was going to have to work to regain that… compatibility. It was something he had never encountered before since Malfoys were always given what they wanted.
As his eyes opened, he was relieved to see that she was still standing there, staring at him, though he was careful to make sure none of that emotion or his confusion showed on his face.
"Well?" she demanded when she had his attention. "Do you plan on explaining further or praying for death? Because if you are, that could certainly be arranged."
His lips curled up in his trademark smirk. Weaslette couldn't kill him if she tried with all her might. And he knew that thought registered plainly on his face by the impatient stamp of her foot. Holding up a long-fingered hand, he wordlessly asked for her patience for a few minutes more. He needed to find the right words for this situation.
Her foot tapped impatiently, she couldn't help it – she wanted answers right now. That and she was torn between the desire to stay and listen – to hear out what he had to say – and the thought that if she didn't flee right now, she would never be able to walk away from him again. That thought registered and she was sure there was shock showing on her face for a moment before she quelled it. She wasn't… growing attached to Malfoy now, was she? Dear Merlin… The whole idea left her heart pounding and her breath stilled within her as the consequences of those thoughts ran through her mind.
The thoughts were magnified to be even brighter than the light of the sun with the words that next spilled from Draco's lips. "Don't give up on me."
Chorus:
Tease me, by holding out your hand
Then leave me, or take me as I am
And live our lives, stigmatized
Ginny was absolutely certain that her mouth was open wide enough for a hippogriff to fly through. She was completely and utterly stunned. She wouldn't have thought that Draco could put those words together in a casual thought, much less as some kind of dramatic pronouncement meant to change her mind. The fact that they reached out and wound around her own thoughts that ran along the same lines was nearly too much for Ginny. It took a long moment, but she managed to stuff aside those emotions in an attempt to be cold and clinical. "Give up on you? Excuse me? I didn't realise that my opinion, and might I remind you that I am a muggle loving Weasley of all things, meant that much to you." Her arms folded over her chest in a flimsy effort to protect herself and to quell the emotions that threatened to boil over.
It was the brief moment of pure stunned amazement that gave Draco a chance to breathe easily once more. He had her attention for a few minutes more. It had been a gamble, and a dangerous one at that, to show her the mark on his forearm, but he had been running out of options at this point in the proceedings. What he needed the options for, he couldn't explain properly, but he knew that his own survival would have been made or broken by them. Pushing a hand through his hair in exasperation and a bit of tremulous uncertainty, so uncommon in a Malfoy, Draco continued his uncertain explanation for his rash words. "You're the only one who… who understands," Draco said, knowing those words sounded incredibly lame and stupid. "The only one who is willing to give me a chance." Her second words registered then and he snarled out, "And none of this is about you being a Weasley brat and its difference to my distinctive heritage as a Malfoy." Ginny snorted at his words, but he rushed on before she could speak. "This is about us."
Dark brown eyes widened to show impossible depths, emotions of various shapes and sizes running through them. Her heart beat increased and it showed on the flush on her face. However, his words sparked something warm and gooey inside of her, something that she had never dared acknowledge despite the dreams that had left her sweating and needy. It took all her mental strength to overcome the softening emotions, but she managed to snap out, "There is no us. This is just you attempting to manipulate me." // It's not true. It's not true. Remember that, Ginevra – the man has no heart and no soul. He couldn't care for you if he tried for a month. //
If he had more time, Draco would have smiled, and for once with genuine feeling behind it. She was so… entertaining with all those emotions. It made him far colder when he dealt with her just to push those buttons and make her explode in a fiery burst which was rather extremely satisfying in a perverse sort of way. There wasn't time for that now. If he didn't get through to her now, there was no way he would accomplish it in the future. "Don't you see it?" he asked, soft and subtle as he moved toward her in slow steps. "Don't you feel it?"
Ginny inhaled slightly and rocked back on her heels as he closed the gap between them.
"You do feel it," he concluded based on the evidence of her gasp and the pulse he saw pounding her in throat. "The mental challenge. The draw to be together. The desire…" He trailed off as his grey eyes slid over the pale curves of her cheeks and down to her lips, which she unconsciously licked. Oh yes, they were still as pink and luscious as they appeared in the dreams that he denied himself in the morning.
Yes, she felt it as well; the hint of a deep need that pulled her to him. It wasn't just the mental tug of a good intellectual friendship that seemed to make everything entertaining no matter the subject of conversation. Sure, he had political ties and darkness inside of him, but who didn't? And in the depths of night, when she managed to be brutally honest with herself, she knew she was attracted to him and that edge of darkness that brushed his character combined with the sarcasm that tinged everything he did. He was brilliant and sexy and… She stopped that train of thought right there with a visible jerk. "I don't desire anything more from you than help with my potions grade." But Ginny knew by the look on Draco's face that the lie was extremely weak and had been seen through with ease.
Smirking ever so slightly with the pleasure of swooping in for the catch, Draco held out his hand. "Please. Take me as I am."
I can feel the blood rushing though my veins
When I hear your voice, driving me insane
Hour after hour day after day
Every lonely night that I sit and pray
Her eyes focused carefully on that outstretched hand. The fingers were long and graceful, the nails smoothly manicured into perfection, capable of talking for him to capturing the delicately fluttering snitch to chopping potion ingredients to add in precise order. They were a symbol of the fineness of his life and all the separated him from her. Her own hand with its cropped nails, well nibbled cuticles and rough calluses, was large enough to hold the quaffle and toss it with determination, degnome the garden and help her mum cook for twenty with short fingers. A life of wealth and a life of labour.
Opposites.
And as everyone would say, opposites attract.
A shudder slid down her spine as she thought of that attraction. She did want him as much as any sixteen year old with hormones could want someone else. She wondered if his smirking lips would be hard or soft over hers. If those elegant hands would hold her tight or delicately. Her mind wandered to the nights that she laid awake and thought of those hands and those lips and she shuddered again.
"Work with me on this one," he whispered, moving forward, his hand still out stretched toward her, until there was only the length of his hand between them. "Listen to me. I'm being honest. These weeks… these conversations have changed things." He took a deep breath, for these kinds of confessions came hard to him. "I'm not going to be an idiotic Hufflepuff and say that talking with you made me good and light and fluffy. I am what I am …"
Ginny beat him to the description of himself. "A nasty, sarcastic son-of-a-bitch with a superiority complex and ego the size of Europe."
Draco laughed. "As the lady wishes, but I'll admit, this once, that it is a rather accurate description although I feel you did forget the most important description of devastatingly handsome."
"Horrors," Ginny drawled out, amusement dancing in those brown eyes. "Shall you ever recover?"
It was his moment to claim and pounce. "Kiss me and make it better?" he whispered, voice dropping to low levels with desire.
Inhaling, Ginny felt herself drawn toward him – a magnetic pull she couldn't quite fight. Her trembling body moved toward him. His voice was making her insane with desire and the blood pounded in her ears. The mark on his arm no longer mattered. It was all about two people and the attraction between them – on all levels that it traversed.
Somehow he lost the thread of his argument as the distance between them was reduced to millimeters. Her breath, warm and smelling of the sugar quill she must've eaten in History of Magic, washed over his face and enticed him further. Up close her skin was peaches and cream, flecked with teasing brown freckles that he wanted to taste to see if they were the chocolate that they looked like. Her brown eyes mixed delicate golden lights of humor with deep dark spots that he knew reflected the tinges of darkness that wound through her own soul – mirroring his own depth and breadth of goodness and light. Those golden lashes were incredibly long as he closed what was left of the distance between them, watching the desire flare up in her eyes just before they slid close and his lips touched hers.
It was somehow better than she had ever imagined, both tender and desperate at the same time. Her hand slipped down his body and found his. Somehow, as the kiss deepened and devoured them both, her hand twined with his.
Chorus:
We live our lives on different sides,
But we keep together you and I
Just live our lives, stigmatized
We'll live our lives, We'll take the punches everyday
We'll live our lives I know we're gonna find our way
With a gasp of needed air, they pulled away from each other and blinked with the intensity of emotions left behind them. His hand squeezed hers and she returned the gesture. Words were not needed at the moment. It was too intense a time to spoil with words.
Standing there, gasping ever so slightly, Ginny knew that she had crossed a line from which she could not return. It wasn't so much that the kiss was deeply passionate, but that the emotions it left were highly charged and combined with her desire for it from before: it left her mind swirling. She had kissed, kissed Draco Malfoy. Not only that, but she had liked it. And damn it all, him especially, to hell and back, she wanted more. Her tongue swiped over her lips as she thought about the urge to have another taste of him.
The only good thing about the riotous emotions and tangled thoughts that spiraled out of control was that she could see them playing across Draco's features as well. As she realised that, she squeezed his hand almost involuntarily, more to show support than anything. The line was crossed. They weren't going back. Somehow they had managed to get in this together. Whatever 'this' happened to be, for Ginny was completely uncertain of what kind of definition to use for it.
Those grey eyes were dark. He knew without even looking in a mirror that there would be need reflecting from them. While it had taken a long time for him to admit to himself that he actually liked Ginny Weasley on an intellectual level – that a Weasley of all things could manage intelligent thought – it took less than an instant for him to know that he wanted Ginevra Weasley. Wanted her in the most fundamental, primitive way that a man could want a woman. It was simple and basic and perhaps the most animalistic thing that Draco had ever felt. And perhaps what made it even more powerful was that he actually liked her as a person compared to the girls he had been with.
The fact that he had just had that mental conversation was enough for him to figure he that had finally lost his mind and gone completely round the twist. He was off mentally drooling over a blood traitor Weasley and had shown her the secret that he had sworn never to tell anyone as far too many people knew already. Yes, definitely mad as a hatter he was. A grin turned up the corners of his lips. But, he actually kind of liked it. It felt good – warm and almost comfortable.
The inanity of his thoughts and the fact that he felt himself slipping into some kind of goofy Hufflepuff-esqe grin stopped him. He sobered and reached back into himself. The emotion could be enjoyed later. Right now, there were other more important things to discuss. "Ginny," he said in a quiet voice, "I think that action probably speaks more than my eloquent words and I do assure you that I'm not going to change to be a goody goody who thinks Dumbledore walks on water, but neither do I feel that this," he tapped his forearm, "is the way either. Let me assure you that I shall do whatever I need to save myself and what I hold dear." There was a pointedness to his look that showed she was included.
"But saving myself has no appeal without a reason," he continued on, meeting her brown eyes and dragging that gaze down with his to their locked hands, showing her the reason if she couldn't figure it out. She did before her eyes even got to the clasped hands. Her fingers squeezed his. Nodding to her in order to show that he accepted her understanding. "It… won't be easy. But, I'd do it. Believe me."
I believe in you
Even if no one understands
I Believe in you, and I don't really give a damn
If we're stigmatized
We live our lives on different sides
But we keep together you and I
We live our lives on different sides
Yeah, that really was Draco Malfoy standing in front of her, holding her hand, asking her to believe in him. The one person who represented both everything she wanted and everything she hated at the same time. Did she dare to even answer that question? They, no matter what lay between them, were still on the opposite sides of this war based on their family histories and that was the way it was. Ginny didn't think it was possible to change the world to think as they did. This would not be a simple choice or an easy road to walk down.
Did she want to do that to herself? Did she want to align herself with that which she wanted, but at the same time possibly alienate her friends and family? But if they rejected her merely because of whom she loved, were they really people who loved her and cared about her totally anyway? It would require some deeper introspection, but now was obviously not the time. Right now, Draco was looking at her, asking for an answer.
But what should she tell him? How much could she lose if he played her like a well-made violin that was then left out in the rain? And did she want to believe him? All right, that was really the wrong question. She did want to believe him, but did she even dare? Placing her body and soul, and more importantly her heart, in his care could well be disastrous.
Aw hell, she hadn't been sorted into Gryffindor for nothing. Bravery and rashness without a single dash of common sense – that pretty much summed up any Gryffindor. They definitely weren't known for their brains, other than Hermione of course, but she was definitely the exception and not the rule. Ginny felt she was strong enough to handle whatever Draco threw her way. Why shouldn't she have what she wanted for once. She'd spent nine-tenths of her life denying herself or having her mother deny her the things that she wanted. And right now it was as plain as day. She wanted Draco Malfoy and he was offering himself to her on a silver platter. Why the hell wouldn't she take him?
"I believe you," she answered, letting her trust and faith in him show in her deep brown eyes. "It won't be easy, but I agree to believe in you and whatever that entails."
Draco nearly collapsed in an un-Malfoy-like faint at the relief that shocked his system. And then he committed another Malfoy first. "Thank you," he said in a quiet faith. "I'd say that I appreciate it.."
"But the thanks is enough to leave me in shock for months," Ginny drawled out with a twinkle in her eyes.
"Hey there now, woman," Draco said holding up his hand, "I thought we were supposed to be on the same side!"
"We are," Ginny said, though not really attempting to soothe the Malfoy ego. She knew that she would get much further with him if she didn't let him walk all over her. "But at no time did I agree to disarm myself of my sarcasm. I have to have one weapon after all."
Those grey eyes raked over her and Ginny could feel them stripping away her clothing. "You have more weapons than you know."
Oh yes, her cheeks were definitely flaming now. With her face the color of her hair, Ginny lost her ability to present Draco with a snappy comeback for a moment. "You're daft if you think I would use my body that way!"
"And why not?" Draco purred, eyes still busy examining her. "You would be surprised at what it gets you." He was definitely enjoying this, his lips curving upward to show that amusement.
"I am not that kind of girl and you should well know it," Ginny huffed, folding her arms across her chest and accidentally displaying her cleavage more prominently.
This conversation could go on for simply hours – to the point where it dissolved in snarky comments between heady kisses and as much as that appealed to Draco as his achingly hard arousal gave testimony to, Draco knew that this was neither the time nor the place. Really, they did have things to discuss. Holding up his hand, he called a truce for the moment. "As amusing as this conversation is, Ginevra, we need to present a united front." His grey eyes were dark with sincerity.
Ginny, on the other hand, had to have a moment to mentally swoon over the way he said her name like that. Throughout most of their study sessions, she had been Weasley or Weaslette, so Ginevra, as much as she disliked it, was a very pleasant change. Sighing softly, she acknowledged the truth in his words. "You're right. I mean, it's not like we can waltz down into the Great Hall holding hands and announcing we're in love."
Tipping his head back, Draco laughed. "No, thank you, I tend to value my life more than that. Since if we did, I would have to fight off not only your idiotic brother, but also word would then too quickly filter back to my mother and father." He grimaced at the thought. "And I don't think we need that at this juncture."
Nodding with agreement, Ginny moved slowly forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. Draco stiffened slightly for gestures of comfort were completely alien to him. He stood quietly though and after a moment tentatively hugged her in return. It took more from him than Ginny realised to offer her that simple gesture in return – even more than admitting his secret to her.
Sensing that he was uncomfortable, Ginny stepped back from him, brown eyes assessing carefully. "No, we aren't ready for that. So what are we ready for?" she inquired, curious as to what he would say.
His shoulders lifted up and down in an eloquent and speaking shrug. "Continue as we have. Talking, laughing, snogging," his eyes twinkled devilishly at this word, "Just being until we can find a way to face the world outside of us without being…"
"Cruelly judged for falling in love with the wrong person," Ginny finished and gave a weak grin. "So we remain on opposite sides – Gryffindor and Slytherin – never quite together."
"And never quite apart," Draco returned taking her hand and winding it through the fingers of his own hand. "Always together in our own way."
Ginny smiled, agreeing to this sentiment, a rare treasured moment of softness and emotion from Draco, something she knew she would treasure in the long dark hours of night or across a crowded Great Hall. For many months to come they would be together yet apart as they shaped the future together. Leaning forward, they shared a soft kiss, sealing the deal – together on different sides.
We're gonna live our lives
Gotta live our lives
We're gonna live our lives
We're gonna live our lives, Gonna live our lives, Stigmatized
Author: Rhina
Rating (G - R): PG-13
Lyrics: Stigmatized by The Calling in italics
Word Count: 3959
// Thoughts //
Your ficlet:
If I give up on you I give up on me
If we fight what's true, will we ever be
Even God himself and the faith I knew
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you
The brown eyes were scared and the hands that clenched the school bag trembled with the force of holding back her fear. But it wasn't completely fear if you looked carefully in those deep orbs – there was a hint of interest, speculation – curiosity that the bravery of Gryffindor spawned in her. "Why are you showing me that?" she spat out, her red hair swishing over her shoulders in a mix of anger and agitation. "Is it some kind of perverted test?"
"You need to know," he snarled back, pushing the sleeve down once more. "You need to understand that this isn't a game, little Weasel. It's not about another good time."
"So should I build you a monument or crown you with a medal for having enough Gryffindor bravery to display that horrid symbol to me," Ginny retorted, fear sliding back in the force of her anger. "Or is it some kind of trick for saving your own skin? Well, it doesn't matter, you know I don't care – no matter what the circumstances or reasons behind it. And you should know by now I'm not going to run off crying to Dumbledore." Ginny turned away then, moving to leave him behind.
Roughly, his hand grabbed her upper arm and jerked her back so that she was forced to stare up into those stormy grey eyes. "You'd better not," Draco snarled. "You belong to me." His face and voice softened on the edges slightly as he added to that. "I trust you. These weeks… things have changed."
"Do Malfoys even know the meaning of the word trust?" Ginny snarked, part of her irrationally wanting to trust him, the rest of her intellectually rebelling against this action. The man was a Death Eater. He'd shown her the black mark on the pale skin of his forearm. It was one thing to accept needed potions tutoring and even casual, albeit in a sarcastically friendly manner, conversation and another entirely to stay within the company of someone who followed the dreaded Lord Voldemort. "I do see that things have changed. You're a Death Eater."
Those cool grey eyes slid closed as he thought. This was definitely not going according to his plan, but little about his tutoring of the Weaslette was going to plan. He was never supposed to find enjoyment in simple conversation, or find a mind with just as many twists and turns as his own and an innate fondness for sarcasm. It tested his wit and he found that he enjoyed that for a change in comparison to the dullness of servitude that he received from most of his Slytherin compatriots. For some reason, now that she had rejected him, he was going to have to work to regain that… compatibility. It was something he had never encountered before since Malfoys were always given what they wanted.
As his eyes opened, he was relieved to see that she was still standing there, staring at him, though he was careful to make sure none of that emotion or his confusion showed on his face.
"Well?" she demanded when she had his attention. "Do you plan on explaining further or praying for death? Because if you are, that could certainly be arranged."
His lips curled up in his trademark smirk. Weaslette couldn't kill him if she tried with all her might. And he knew that thought registered plainly on his face by the impatient stamp of her foot. Holding up a long-fingered hand, he wordlessly asked for her patience for a few minutes more. He needed to find the right words for this situation.
Her foot tapped impatiently, she couldn't help it – she wanted answers right now. That and she was torn between the desire to stay and listen – to hear out what he had to say – and the thought that if she didn't flee right now, she would never be able to walk away from him again. That thought registered and she was sure there was shock showing on her face for a moment before she quelled it. She wasn't… growing attached to Malfoy now, was she? Dear Merlin… The whole idea left her heart pounding and her breath stilled within her as the consequences of those thoughts ran through her mind.
The thoughts were magnified to be even brighter than the light of the sun with the words that next spilled from Draco's lips. "Don't give up on me."
Chorus:
Tease me, by holding out your hand
Then leave me, or take me as I am
And live our lives, stigmatized
Ginny was absolutely certain that her mouth was open wide enough for a hippogriff to fly through. She was completely and utterly stunned. She wouldn't have thought that Draco could put those words together in a casual thought, much less as some kind of dramatic pronouncement meant to change her mind. The fact that they reached out and wound around her own thoughts that ran along the same lines was nearly too much for Ginny. It took a long moment, but she managed to stuff aside those emotions in an attempt to be cold and clinical. "Give up on you? Excuse me? I didn't realise that my opinion, and might I remind you that I am a muggle loving Weasley of all things, meant that much to you." Her arms folded over her chest in a flimsy effort to protect herself and to quell the emotions that threatened to boil over.
It was the brief moment of pure stunned amazement that gave Draco a chance to breathe easily once more. He had her attention for a few minutes more. It had been a gamble, and a dangerous one at that, to show her the mark on his forearm, but he had been running out of options at this point in the proceedings. What he needed the options for, he couldn't explain properly, but he knew that his own survival would have been made or broken by them. Pushing a hand through his hair in exasperation and a bit of tremulous uncertainty, so uncommon in a Malfoy, Draco continued his uncertain explanation for his rash words. "You're the only one who… who understands," Draco said, knowing those words sounded incredibly lame and stupid. "The only one who is willing to give me a chance." Her second words registered then and he snarled out, "And none of this is about you being a Weasley brat and its difference to my distinctive heritage as a Malfoy." Ginny snorted at his words, but he rushed on before she could speak. "This is about us."
Dark brown eyes widened to show impossible depths, emotions of various shapes and sizes running through them. Her heart beat increased and it showed on the flush on her face. However, his words sparked something warm and gooey inside of her, something that she had never dared acknowledge despite the dreams that had left her sweating and needy. It took all her mental strength to overcome the softening emotions, but she managed to snap out, "There is no us. This is just you attempting to manipulate me." // It's not true. It's not true. Remember that, Ginevra – the man has no heart and no soul. He couldn't care for you if he tried for a month. //
If he had more time, Draco would have smiled, and for once with genuine feeling behind it. She was so… entertaining with all those emotions. It made him far colder when he dealt with her just to push those buttons and make her explode in a fiery burst which was rather extremely satisfying in a perverse sort of way. There wasn't time for that now. If he didn't get through to her now, there was no way he would accomplish it in the future. "Don't you see it?" he asked, soft and subtle as he moved toward her in slow steps. "Don't you feel it?"
Ginny inhaled slightly and rocked back on her heels as he closed the gap between them.
"You do feel it," he concluded based on the evidence of her gasp and the pulse he saw pounding her in throat. "The mental challenge. The draw to be together. The desire…" He trailed off as his grey eyes slid over the pale curves of her cheeks and down to her lips, which she unconsciously licked. Oh yes, they were still as pink and luscious as they appeared in the dreams that he denied himself in the morning.
Yes, she felt it as well; the hint of a deep need that pulled her to him. It wasn't just the mental tug of a good intellectual friendship that seemed to make everything entertaining no matter the subject of conversation. Sure, he had political ties and darkness inside of him, but who didn't? And in the depths of night, when she managed to be brutally honest with herself, she knew she was attracted to him and that edge of darkness that brushed his character combined with the sarcasm that tinged everything he did. He was brilliant and sexy and… She stopped that train of thought right there with a visible jerk. "I don't desire anything more from you than help with my potions grade." But Ginny knew by the look on Draco's face that the lie was extremely weak and had been seen through with ease.
Smirking ever so slightly with the pleasure of swooping in for the catch, Draco held out his hand. "Please. Take me as I am."
I can feel the blood rushing though my veins
When I hear your voice, driving me insane
Hour after hour day after day
Every lonely night that I sit and pray
Her eyes focused carefully on that outstretched hand. The fingers were long and graceful, the nails smoothly manicured into perfection, capable of talking for him to capturing the delicately fluttering snitch to chopping potion ingredients to add in precise order. They were a symbol of the fineness of his life and all the separated him from her. Her own hand with its cropped nails, well nibbled cuticles and rough calluses, was large enough to hold the quaffle and toss it with determination, degnome the garden and help her mum cook for twenty with short fingers. A life of wealth and a life of labour.
Opposites.
And as everyone would say, opposites attract.
A shudder slid down her spine as she thought of that attraction. She did want him as much as any sixteen year old with hormones could want someone else. She wondered if his smirking lips would be hard or soft over hers. If those elegant hands would hold her tight or delicately. Her mind wandered to the nights that she laid awake and thought of those hands and those lips and she shuddered again.
"Work with me on this one," he whispered, moving forward, his hand still out stretched toward her, until there was only the length of his hand between them. "Listen to me. I'm being honest. These weeks… these conversations have changed things." He took a deep breath, for these kinds of confessions came hard to him. "I'm not going to be an idiotic Hufflepuff and say that talking with you made me good and light and fluffy. I am what I am …"
Ginny beat him to the description of himself. "A nasty, sarcastic son-of-a-bitch with a superiority complex and ego the size of Europe."
Draco laughed. "As the lady wishes, but I'll admit, this once, that it is a rather accurate description although I feel you did forget the most important description of devastatingly handsome."
"Horrors," Ginny drawled out, amusement dancing in those brown eyes. "Shall you ever recover?"
It was his moment to claim and pounce. "Kiss me and make it better?" he whispered, voice dropping to low levels with desire.
Inhaling, Ginny felt herself drawn toward him – a magnetic pull she couldn't quite fight. Her trembling body moved toward him. His voice was making her insane with desire and the blood pounded in her ears. The mark on his arm no longer mattered. It was all about two people and the attraction between them – on all levels that it traversed.
Somehow he lost the thread of his argument as the distance between them was reduced to millimeters. Her breath, warm and smelling of the sugar quill she must've eaten in History of Magic, washed over his face and enticed him further. Up close her skin was peaches and cream, flecked with teasing brown freckles that he wanted to taste to see if they were the chocolate that they looked like. Her brown eyes mixed delicate golden lights of humor with deep dark spots that he knew reflected the tinges of darkness that wound through her own soul – mirroring his own depth and breadth of goodness and light. Those golden lashes were incredibly long as he closed what was left of the distance between them, watching the desire flare up in her eyes just before they slid close and his lips touched hers.
It was somehow better than she had ever imagined, both tender and desperate at the same time. Her hand slipped down his body and found his. Somehow, as the kiss deepened and devoured them both, her hand twined with his.
Chorus:
We live our lives on different sides,
But we keep together you and I
Just live our lives, stigmatized
We'll live our lives, We'll take the punches everyday
We'll live our lives I know we're gonna find our way
With a gasp of needed air, they pulled away from each other and blinked with the intensity of emotions left behind them. His hand squeezed hers and she returned the gesture. Words were not needed at the moment. It was too intense a time to spoil with words.
Standing there, gasping ever so slightly, Ginny knew that she had crossed a line from which she could not return. It wasn't so much that the kiss was deeply passionate, but that the emotions it left were highly charged and combined with her desire for it from before: it left her mind swirling. She had kissed, kissed Draco Malfoy. Not only that, but she had liked it. And damn it all, him especially, to hell and back, she wanted more. Her tongue swiped over her lips as she thought about the urge to have another taste of him.
The only good thing about the riotous emotions and tangled thoughts that spiraled out of control was that she could see them playing across Draco's features as well. As she realised that, she squeezed his hand almost involuntarily, more to show support than anything. The line was crossed. They weren't going back. Somehow they had managed to get in this together. Whatever 'this' happened to be, for Ginny was completely uncertain of what kind of definition to use for it.
Those grey eyes were dark. He knew without even looking in a mirror that there would be need reflecting from them. While it had taken a long time for him to admit to himself that he actually liked Ginny Weasley on an intellectual level – that a Weasley of all things could manage intelligent thought – it took less than an instant for him to know that he wanted Ginevra Weasley. Wanted her in the most fundamental, primitive way that a man could want a woman. It was simple and basic and perhaps the most animalistic thing that Draco had ever felt. And perhaps what made it even more powerful was that he actually liked her as a person compared to the girls he had been with.
The fact that he had just had that mental conversation was enough for him to figure he that had finally lost his mind and gone completely round the twist. He was off mentally drooling over a blood traitor Weasley and had shown her the secret that he had sworn never to tell anyone as far too many people knew already. Yes, definitely mad as a hatter he was. A grin turned up the corners of his lips. But, he actually kind of liked it. It felt good – warm and almost comfortable.
The inanity of his thoughts and the fact that he felt himself slipping into some kind of goofy Hufflepuff-esqe grin stopped him. He sobered and reached back into himself. The emotion could be enjoyed later. Right now, there were other more important things to discuss. "Ginny," he said in a quiet voice, "I think that action probably speaks more than my eloquent words and I do assure you that I'm not going to change to be a goody goody who thinks Dumbledore walks on water, but neither do I feel that this," he tapped his forearm, "is the way either. Let me assure you that I shall do whatever I need to save myself and what I hold dear." There was a pointedness to his look that showed she was included.
"But saving myself has no appeal without a reason," he continued on, meeting her brown eyes and dragging that gaze down with his to their locked hands, showing her the reason if she couldn't figure it out. She did before her eyes even got to the clasped hands. Her fingers squeezed his. Nodding to her in order to show that he accepted her understanding. "It… won't be easy. But, I'd do it. Believe me."
I believe in you
Even if no one understands
I Believe in you, and I don't really give a damn
If we're stigmatized
We live our lives on different sides
But we keep together you and I
We live our lives on different sides
Yeah, that really was Draco Malfoy standing in front of her, holding her hand, asking her to believe in him. The one person who represented both everything she wanted and everything she hated at the same time. Did she dare to even answer that question? They, no matter what lay between them, were still on the opposite sides of this war based on their family histories and that was the way it was. Ginny didn't think it was possible to change the world to think as they did. This would not be a simple choice or an easy road to walk down.
Did she want to do that to herself? Did she want to align herself with that which she wanted, but at the same time possibly alienate her friends and family? But if they rejected her merely because of whom she loved, were they really people who loved her and cared about her totally anyway? It would require some deeper introspection, but now was obviously not the time. Right now, Draco was looking at her, asking for an answer.
But what should she tell him? How much could she lose if he played her like a well-made violin that was then left out in the rain? And did she want to believe him? All right, that was really the wrong question. She did want to believe him, but did she even dare? Placing her body and soul, and more importantly her heart, in his care could well be disastrous.
Aw hell, she hadn't been sorted into Gryffindor for nothing. Bravery and rashness without a single dash of common sense – that pretty much summed up any Gryffindor. They definitely weren't known for their brains, other than Hermione of course, but she was definitely the exception and not the rule. Ginny felt she was strong enough to handle whatever Draco threw her way. Why shouldn't she have what she wanted for once. She'd spent nine-tenths of her life denying herself or having her mother deny her the things that she wanted. And right now it was as plain as day. She wanted Draco Malfoy and he was offering himself to her on a silver platter. Why the hell wouldn't she take him?
"I believe you," she answered, letting her trust and faith in him show in her deep brown eyes. "It won't be easy, but I agree to believe in you and whatever that entails."
Draco nearly collapsed in an un-Malfoy-like faint at the relief that shocked his system. And then he committed another Malfoy first. "Thank you," he said in a quiet faith. "I'd say that I appreciate it.."
"But the thanks is enough to leave me in shock for months," Ginny drawled out with a twinkle in her eyes.
"Hey there now, woman," Draco said holding up his hand, "I thought we were supposed to be on the same side!"
"We are," Ginny said, though not really attempting to soothe the Malfoy ego. She knew that she would get much further with him if she didn't let him walk all over her. "But at no time did I agree to disarm myself of my sarcasm. I have to have one weapon after all."
Those grey eyes raked over her and Ginny could feel them stripping away her clothing. "You have more weapons than you know."
Oh yes, her cheeks were definitely flaming now. With her face the color of her hair, Ginny lost her ability to present Draco with a snappy comeback for a moment. "You're daft if you think I would use my body that way!"
"And why not?" Draco purred, eyes still busy examining her. "You would be surprised at what it gets you." He was definitely enjoying this, his lips curving upward to show that amusement.
"I am not that kind of girl and you should well know it," Ginny huffed, folding her arms across her chest and accidentally displaying her cleavage more prominently.
This conversation could go on for simply hours – to the point where it dissolved in snarky comments between heady kisses and as much as that appealed to Draco as his achingly hard arousal gave testimony to, Draco knew that this was neither the time nor the place. Really, they did have things to discuss. Holding up his hand, he called a truce for the moment. "As amusing as this conversation is, Ginevra, we need to present a united front." His grey eyes were dark with sincerity.
Ginny, on the other hand, had to have a moment to mentally swoon over the way he said her name like that. Throughout most of their study sessions, she had been Weasley or Weaslette, so Ginevra, as much as she disliked it, was a very pleasant change. Sighing softly, she acknowledged the truth in his words. "You're right. I mean, it's not like we can waltz down into the Great Hall holding hands and announcing we're in love."
Tipping his head back, Draco laughed. "No, thank you, I tend to value my life more than that. Since if we did, I would have to fight off not only your idiotic brother, but also word would then too quickly filter back to my mother and father." He grimaced at the thought. "And I don't think we need that at this juncture."
Nodding with agreement, Ginny moved slowly forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. Draco stiffened slightly for gestures of comfort were completely alien to him. He stood quietly though and after a moment tentatively hugged her in return. It took more from him than Ginny realised to offer her that simple gesture in return – even more than admitting his secret to her.
Sensing that he was uncomfortable, Ginny stepped back from him, brown eyes assessing carefully. "No, we aren't ready for that. So what are we ready for?" she inquired, curious as to what he would say.
His shoulders lifted up and down in an eloquent and speaking shrug. "Continue as we have. Talking, laughing, snogging," his eyes twinkled devilishly at this word, "Just being until we can find a way to face the world outside of us without being…"
"Cruelly judged for falling in love with the wrong person," Ginny finished and gave a weak grin. "So we remain on opposite sides – Gryffindor and Slytherin – never quite together."
"And never quite apart," Draco returned taking her hand and winding it through the fingers of his own hand. "Always together in our own way."
Ginny smiled, agreeing to this sentiment, a rare treasured moment of softness and emotion from Draco, something she knew she would treasure in the long dark hours of night or across a crowded Great Hall. For many months to come they would be together yet apart as they shaped the future together. Leaning forward, they shared a soft kiss, sealing the deal – together on different sides.
We're gonna live our lives
Gotta live our lives
We're gonna live our lives
We're gonna live our lives, Gonna live our lives, Stigmatized
The End.
Rhina is the author of 4 other stories.
This story is a favorite of 11 members. Members who liked Stigmatized also liked 1130 other stories.
This story is a favorite of 11 members. Members who liked Stigmatized also liked 1130 other stories.
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