Chapter 10: Ginny's Evil?
She was on her way to the library after staying late in Transfiguration chatting with Professor McGonagall about the sewing machine when she heard footsteps behind her. They were the only other noise in the hallway, and when she stopped, they stopped. She walked a bit faster and they sped up to match her pace. Her heart started beating a bit faster and she slowed, prepared to turn and brandish her wand, but her follower also slowed down. She turned sharply down a random corridor, then whispered a silencing charm on her feet as she ran forward and turned again. What she saw when she peeked around the corner confused her until she remembered that Ron and Malfoy had been drinking together. Her natural cleverness, enhanced by several years of exposure to the Weasley mind, slotted two and two neatly into place in front of an equal sign and a four.
Ten minutes later, Ron Weasley found himself caught by the collar and dragged into a secluded spot. He barely managed to identify his assailant and stammer out her name before she said, "Ronald Weasley, you explain to me right now why Vincent Crabbe is following me around, and it better be good."
Plausible explanations and excuses flashed through his mind in a torrent and were rejected as probably ending in grievous bodily harm performed on his person. Finally he decided he might as well be hanged for the truth as an excuse, and it might just move the judge/executioner to have mercy on his pathetic soul. "It seemed like a good idea at the time?"
"I do not even want to contemplate the stupidity of that statement." Hermione let go of her grip on his collar and he sagged, reveling in the feeling of being able to intake oxygen once more and praying the situation would continue. "Honestly, lately it seems all the Weasleys are running mad. You, off getting drunk with Malfoy and having me followed, of all things, and Ginny reading a cookbook and cackling in a distinctly evil way. Is it the..."
She stopped talking when she noticed he had gone chalk white and was gripping her arm rather tightly. "Did... Did you say she was cackling over a cookbook?"
Hermione looked nonplussed. Her mental train of righteous fury was being derailed by the unmistakable signs of his sheer terror. "Yes, what of it? I thought it was a bit strange, but she just said it was some old family--"
"Bloody hell." Ron wobbled and looked like he was going to faint. Hermione reached out to him and he clasped her arm as if she were the only branch overhanging a patch of quicksand. "Bloody buggering hell."
"Ron? Ron, we've got to get you to Madame Pomfrey." She would yell at him later. Right now he looked distinctly green and on the verge of complete collapse.
She had managed to wedge her shoulder under his arms and pull them both upright when his eyes went wide and he stood on his own. "Holy... Forget Pomfrey, we've got to warn Malfoy!"
"Since when are you such chums with Draco Malfoy?" Hermione was panting as she ran to keep up with Ron's long strides.
"This isn't about friendship, this is bloody well humanitarian aid! Why the twins didn't burn that damn book..." Ron picked up speed, tugging her along as he charged through groups of students as if they were ninepins.
"All this fuss over a cookbook?" Hermione had given up on apologizing for running people over and was now concentrating on oxygen and keeping up, and not necessarily in that order.
Ron shuddered. "That's not just a cookbook. That's great-aunt Anise's cookbook. Out of print now because nine tenths of the recipes were deemed to be too cruel to allow the general public to see."
They rounded a corner and Hermione slammed into Ron's back as he stopped. From under his arm, she could see that they were in some sort of storage room, and Malfoy was talking to Greg Goyle. Tuning out Ron's gasping for breath, she heard Malfoy say, "What d'you mean, you're scared?"
"She... That Tarvit... She's evil." The hulking young man was sputtering and out of breath as he looked pleadingly at Draco. "Don't make me go after her again. I daren't."
Malfoy looked up to see Ron in the doorway, but whether he saw Hermione or not, she couldn't tell. With a dismissive nod for the red haired boy, Malfoy turned his attention back to his lackey. "That Tarvit prat is precisely why you are supposed to be watching her. He's completely untrustworthy."
Goyle swallowed hard. "I don't think he's going to be causing her any problems. Ever again."
Ron managed to croak out, "She didn't feed him anything, did she?"
"What's that got to do--" Malfoy looked supremely irritated, but Goyle was shuddering like blancmange during an earthquake.
"It's, it's, it's inhuman what she did." Hermione was dying of curiosity by this point, but resisted the urge to order him to spill the beans. No one seemed to notice she was there, and she didn't want to draw attention to herself and make them stop talking. Goyle continued, "All week she's been all flirty and laughing at his stupid jokes and all, leaning over him and--"
"Get on with it." Malfoy sounded distinctly irritated, and Hermione had to bite her tongue quite hard to suppress the urge to snicker.
Goyle swallowed hard, but pressed on. "Well, today she corners him in the library, and she says..." Words seemed to fail him for a moment, and when he continued, it was in a whisper. "She says, 'Careful, you're already looking at a month of abstaining before your sight comes back, and two months for your palms to be normal. Keep going and it'll fall off.'"
No amount of pain could have prevented the bark of laughter that escaped Hermione at the white faces of the three males in front of her. Goyle jumped and seemed like he would widdle himself in terror if it happened again, Ron shuddered, and Malfoy went very still. This made Hermione start laughing again, and she choked out, "No wonder she was asking me about muggle superstitions about... About... Wanking!" She went off in fresh peals of laughter, tears coming to her eyes as she doubled over and held her arms over her stomach.
"Weasley, your girlfriend seems to be demented." Malfoy turned back to Goyle, who had been trying to edge away from Hermione but towards the door, which essentially translated to rocking from side to side in one place. "Did she say anything else?"
"Just that if he told anyone, the effects would be permanent." He shuddered and then said, "And that it was for Longbottom that she did it."
"Holy mother of muggles." Ron sounded awed, and Hermione was trying to get oxygen into her starved lungs. "Blimey, the twins are going to build her a shrine for this one. The revenge prank to end all revenge pranks."
Draco's lips twitched. "So it was Tarvit who put that clothes vanishing potion in her drink."
"You should see him! His palms are all covered in hair and he was walking into walls and apologizing to them all yesterday." Goyle managed to get a clear shot at the door, since Hermione's laughing fit had made her collapse onto the ground.
He shrieked like a girl at the sight that awaited him. "Hermione, are you all right? I just came by to get Goyle before I headed down to see Snape for tonight's detention. I hadn't meant to lose him when I stopped by the kitchens." Ginny smiled brightly at the assemblage and directed herself to the quivering mass that had once been an impressive lackey. "I thought it'd be easier to follow me if I stopped pretending not to see you, and that way you can be my taste tester. Tonight we're having sauerkraut and bratwurst."
Goyle's eyes rolled back in terror and he scurried backwards to stand behind Malfoy. Ginny just continued to smile in the sunniest way imaginable. "No? Well, maybe next time. How about you, Hermione?" The other girl nodded and pushed herself to a standing position, still sighing with the aftereffects of laughter. The two girls had started to walk away when Ginny stopped and said, "Oh, Ronniekins? Do remind me that we need to discuss the matter of detention before I need to look up too many more recipes, will you?"
Draco had his arms crossed in front of him forbiddingly as they watched the two girls saunter off. Ron was looking bilious as he moaned, "She really is evil."
"I may have to marry that woman." Malfoy shook his head, the admiration on his face unmistakable.
"I wouldn't wish her on my worst enemy." Ron paused, seeming to think over what he'd said. "On second thought, you're welcome to her."
She was on her way to the library after staying late in Transfiguration chatting with Professor McGonagall about the sewing machine when she heard footsteps behind her. They were the only other noise in the hallway, and when she stopped, they stopped. She walked a bit faster and they sped up to match her pace. Her heart started beating a bit faster and she slowed, prepared to turn and brandish her wand, but her follower also slowed down. She turned sharply down a random corridor, then whispered a silencing charm on her feet as she ran forward and turned again. What she saw when she peeked around the corner confused her until she remembered that Ron and Malfoy had been drinking together. Her natural cleverness, enhanced by several years of exposure to the Weasley mind, slotted two and two neatly into place in front of an equal sign and a four.
Ten minutes later, Ron Weasley found himself caught by the collar and dragged into a secluded spot. He barely managed to identify his assailant and stammer out her name before she said, "Ronald Weasley, you explain to me right now why Vincent Crabbe is following me around, and it better be good."
Plausible explanations and excuses flashed through his mind in a torrent and were rejected as probably ending in grievous bodily harm performed on his person. Finally he decided he might as well be hanged for the truth as an excuse, and it might just move the judge/executioner to have mercy on his pathetic soul. "It seemed like a good idea at the time?"
"I do not even want to contemplate the stupidity of that statement." Hermione let go of her grip on his collar and he sagged, reveling in the feeling of being able to intake oxygen once more and praying the situation would continue. "Honestly, lately it seems all the Weasleys are running mad. You, off getting drunk with Malfoy and having me followed, of all things, and Ginny reading a cookbook and cackling in a distinctly evil way. Is it the..."
She stopped talking when she noticed he had gone chalk white and was gripping her arm rather tightly. "Did... Did you say she was cackling over a cookbook?"
Hermione looked nonplussed. Her mental train of righteous fury was being derailed by the unmistakable signs of his sheer terror. "Yes, what of it? I thought it was a bit strange, but she just said it was some old family--"
"Bloody hell." Ron wobbled and looked like he was going to faint. Hermione reached out to him and he clasped her arm as if she were the only branch overhanging a patch of quicksand. "Bloody buggering hell."
"Ron? Ron, we've got to get you to Madame Pomfrey." She would yell at him later. Right now he looked distinctly green and on the verge of complete collapse.
She had managed to wedge her shoulder under his arms and pull them both upright when his eyes went wide and he stood on his own. "Holy... Forget Pomfrey, we've got to warn Malfoy!"
"Since when are you such chums with Draco Malfoy?" Hermione was panting as she ran to keep up with Ron's long strides.
"This isn't about friendship, this is bloody well humanitarian aid! Why the twins didn't burn that damn book..." Ron picked up speed, tugging her along as he charged through groups of students as if they were ninepins.
"All this fuss over a cookbook?" Hermione had given up on apologizing for running people over and was now concentrating on oxygen and keeping up, and not necessarily in that order.
Ron shuddered. "That's not just a cookbook. That's great-aunt Anise's cookbook. Out of print now because nine tenths of the recipes were deemed to be too cruel to allow the general public to see."
They rounded a corner and Hermione slammed into Ron's back as he stopped. From under his arm, she could see that they were in some sort of storage room, and Malfoy was talking to Greg Goyle. Tuning out Ron's gasping for breath, she heard Malfoy say, "What d'you mean, you're scared?"
"She... That Tarvit... She's evil." The hulking young man was sputtering and out of breath as he looked pleadingly at Draco. "Don't make me go after her again. I daren't."
Malfoy looked up to see Ron in the doorway, but whether he saw Hermione or not, she couldn't tell. With a dismissive nod for the red haired boy, Malfoy turned his attention back to his lackey. "That Tarvit prat is precisely why you are supposed to be watching her. He's completely untrustworthy."
Goyle swallowed hard. "I don't think he's going to be causing her any problems. Ever again."
Ron managed to croak out, "She didn't feed him anything, did she?"
"What's that got to do--" Malfoy looked supremely irritated, but Goyle was shuddering like blancmange during an earthquake.
"It's, it's, it's inhuman what she did." Hermione was dying of curiosity by this point, but resisted the urge to order him to spill the beans. No one seemed to notice she was there, and she didn't want to draw attention to herself and make them stop talking. Goyle continued, "All week she's been all flirty and laughing at his stupid jokes and all, leaning over him and--"
"Get on with it." Malfoy sounded distinctly irritated, and Hermione had to bite her tongue quite hard to suppress the urge to snicker.
Goyle swallowed hard, but pressed on. "Well, today she corners him in the library, and she says..." Words seemed to fail him for a moment, and when he continued, it was in a whisper. "She says, 'Careful, you're already looking at a month of abstaining before your sight comes back, and two months for your palms to be normal. Keep going and it'll fall off.'"
No amount of pain could have prevented the bark of laughter that escaped Hermione at the white faces of the three males in front of her. Goyle jumped and seemed like he would widdle himself in terror if it happened again, Ron shuddered, and Malfoy went very still. This made Hermione start laughing again, and she choked out, "No wonder she was asking me about muggle superstitions about... About... Wanking!" She went off in fresh peals of laughter, tears coming to her eyes as she doubled over and held her arms over her stomach.
"Weasley, your girlfriend seems to be demented." Malfoy turned back to Goyle, who had been trying to edge away from Hermione but towards the door, which essentially translated to rocking from side to side in one place. "Did she say anything else?"
"Just that if he told anyone, the effects would be permanent." He shuddered and then said, "And that it was for Longbottom that she did it."
"Holy mother of muggles." Ron sounded awed, and Hermione was trying to get oxygen into her starved lungs. "Blimey, the twins are going to build her a shrine for this one. The revenge prank to end all revenge pranks."
Draco's lips twitched. "So it was Tarvit who put that clothes vanishing potion in her drink."
"You should see him! His palms are all covered in hair and he was walking into walls and apologizing to them all yesterday." Goyle managed to get a clear shot at the door, since Hermione's laughing fit had made her collapse onto the ground.
He shrieked like a girl at the sight that awaited him. "Hermione, are you all right? I just came by to get Goyle before I headed down to see Snape for tonight's detention. I hadn't meant to lose him when I stopped by the kitchens." Ginny smiled brightly at the assemblage and directed herself to the quivering mass that had once been an impressive lackey. "I thought it'd be easier to follow me if I stopped pretending not to see you, and that way you can be my taste tester. Tonight we're having sauerkraut and bratwurst."
Goyle's eyes rolled back in terror and he scurried backwards to stand behind Malfoy. Ginny just continued to smile in the sunniest way imaginable. "No? Well, maybe next time. How about you, Hermione?" The other girl nodded and pushed herself to a standing position, still sighing with the aftereffects of laughter. The two girls had started to walk away when Ginny stopped and said, "Oh, Ronniekins? Do remind me that we need to discuss the matter of detention before I need to look up too many more recipes, will you?"
Draco had his arms crossed in front of him forbiddingly as they watched the two girls saunter off. Ron was looking bilious as he moaned, "She really is evil."
"I may have to marry that woman." Malfoy shook his head, the admiration on his face unmistakable.
"I wouldn't wish her on my worst enemy." Ron paused, seeming to think over what he'd said. "On second thought, you're welcome to her."
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