A/N: Disclaimer- Nothing is mine. And the “muggle thing,” the film Ginny is referring to is A WALK TO REMEMBER, one of my favorites!
REVISED and reposted Dec 10, 2005, thanks to Amber at Checkmated for a great beta!
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Chapter 6 : Becoming
Malfoy joined Ginny in the garden and they began their walk.
“So, I’m not limping as badly this morning,” Malfoy stated, after a few moments of awkward silence.
“Yeah, I noticed. You’re still in a bit of pain, though?” Ginny asked.
“Well, I wouldn’t call it pain. I’d call it…discomfort. I think the more I do, the sooner I will recover.”
Ginny had no idea what else to say. Usually, she had no trouble talking to anybody. But today, every sentence that came to mind seemed trite, stupid, or insensitive. Ginny was so deep in thought and was staring at her feet, and she didn’t see the large tree directly in her path.
Without warning, Draco grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him, away from the tree. She snapped out of it immediately and bravely raised her flushed face from his chest and laughed. “I am such a klutz!” she grinned.
He quickly set her right and let go. “I’ve never known you to be so quiet. It must be the company,” he said, head held high and regal while he walked a few steps in front of her.
She was still a little dazed, but felt herself straighten up. “What? Oh no. I mean, the past few days have been…” Ginny paused to look at him, puzzled. “Why would you think I’m not quiet?”
“I could always hear you and your friends laughing and talking in the Great Hall, in the corridors between classes. You were kind of loud, you know,” Malfoy laughed, shooting her a sideways look.
Ginny blushed and bit her lip. She guessed she had been quite interesting to watch.
“I think it’s good, though. One could always tell you were happy and having a good time--well your second year and after, that is. At the time I found it totally annoying but I suppose that could be because I’ve never really been happy myself,” he stopped, a sad smile crossing his lips. “I don’t reckon I ever will be.”
Ginny’s smile faded. Draco seemed so sincere, and so sad. She felt sorry for him and was overcome with a need to make sure he cheered up.
“Oh, come on. Surely you will be! I know things seem bad right now, but you have a…” she caught herself just before telling Draco that she would be his friend.
But, he caught her slip as well. “I have a what?” he asked curiously.
“Um, a lot to be happy about!” Ginny blurted without thinking.
Malfoy stopped walking and gave her look that made her want to wither away.
“Like what? I’ve practically lost everyone I ever thought was a friend, and I don’t know what is going on with my family. I can’t be certain they’re safe! I don’t have anything!”
Ginny looked at the ground. She closed her eyes briefly then, as she opened them and lifted her head, she reached for Malfoy’s hand.
“I’ll be your friend, Malfoy,” she smiled.
* * *
He was stunned. This feeling… seeing her hand reach across the space between them and gently take his. He had these memories of watching her at school. She acted tough and was always loud and boisterous, but she was also soft and kind.
He felt a true smile start to spread across his lips and got an airy feeling throughout his chest. It was the feeling he got whenever he thought about almost having killed Dumbledore and how Dumbledore had offered him safety and forgiveness if he could not go through with it. It was this grateful, heart-warming, longing yet angering ache. He wanted to hug Ginny to him. But at the same time he wanted to smack her hard across the face.
He wasn’t used to caring about people and had no idea how to go about doing so. He shook her hand from his. “I-I don’t need pity, not from the likes of you!” he said as scathingly as he could muster, and started back on his walk. Ginny sighed and followed after him.
“I don’t pity you! You’re a different person than I would have ever thought. I’m having fun with you, playing cards and whatever. You’re--”
“Cut it, Weasel!” he snapped. “Just leave. I can walk by myself. I’d enjoy it more without your incessant gabbering!” He turned without another word. He heard her briefly call out about borders, but he knew what to look for. And, though he heard her footsteps following him, he didn’t turn around. He’d always been just fine on his own.
*******
That evening after dinner Ginny, wanting to be alone, had decided to go through some old things in the attic. Malfoy had been silent since they returned from the walk and had taken his dinner in his room.
Harry, Ron and Hermione had asked her to join them doing something--she wasn’t paying attention--but Ginny made her excuse as though she needed to find something. She shouldn’t be long, she’d said, and she’d join them later.
Now, sitting on the dusty attic floor, she lazily sorted through the boxes marked ‘GINNY’S STUFF.’ She had no idea what she was looking for. She figured she’d know it when she saw it. She heard the trap door to the attic creak open and the ladder drop. ‘Darn it, Harry,” she thought.
“I said I’d be down after a while!” she said, not masking the irritation in her voice. When she got no reply, she looked over the edge to see Malfoy standing at the base of the ladder below.
“Hi,” she said in barely a whisper.
“I came to apologize, again. I seem to be doing that a lot lately,” he smiled slightly. “I’d really like to have a… a friend.” He gulped out the word as if it were nearly painful. “I doubt Potter and Weasley will want to be my best buds anytime soon. I doubt that I’ll actually ever want them to be,” he said, shaking his head. “But you--you’re ok baby weasel.”
“Okay then. We can be friends on two conditions,” she stated, crossing her arms petulantly.
“And what would they be?” he asked, his smile growing wider.
“Number one: No more calling me ‘baby weasel.’” Malfoy nodded. “Second: you have to promise… not to fall in love with me.” She laughed nervously.
Malfoy returned her laugh just as nervously. “You have nothing to worry about,” he smirked.
* * *
Draco noticed again how pretty Ginny was in the dimly lit attic, her hair up in a sloppy ponytail with loose golden auburn bits falling down and framing her face. She was just kidding about the ‘falling in love’ thing right? Or was she being coy? He shook his head again to clear his betraying thoughts.
Ginny blushed and tried to explain what she had said. “It’s a line from this Muggle thing Hermione showed me. You know how they watch films--moving pictures?”
“Yes, I know,” Draco responded.
“Well this girl and this guy who are an unlikely pair of friends, kind of like us, that’s what she says to him when they have to start working on some school work together. I guess it’s like an inside joke to… myself,” she finished, grinning lamely.
“So, what exactly are you doing up here anyway?” Draco asked, carefully taking the steps of the rickety ladder one at a time.
“I don’t know. I just didn’t feel like being around ‘the gang’ tonight. The wedding’s in two days and I just want everyone to go away, you know?” she said, obviously flustered.
“OK. Hint taken.” Draco started back down the ladder.
“No! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean you have to go. It’s like you said earlier, I’ve had some fun times with you and you’re far from being like anyone in my family so,” she considered her next words carefully. “Come on up here if you like. Want to look at some dumb, old kid stuff?”
Draco nodded and slowly ascended the creaking ladder once more. He made it with only a little trouble. They spent the next few hours laughing at old things of Ginny’s and trading childhood stories, most of which for him had not been pleasant.
Letting out a huge yawn, Ginny cleaned up and put away the last box. “Well, I reckon we’d better get down. It’s getting late,” Ginny said as she stood.
“Yeah. Lots to do in the next few days, right?” Draco asked. Ginny nodded. “Why exactly is the wedding here?”
“Fleur wants it outdoors, and the flower garden is so lovely this time of year.” Ginny rolled her eyes. “And our grounds are well-protected and there is a designated Portkey not far from here--just over on Stoatshead Hill. It all just worked out.”
“That’ll be a fun day for me. I’ll get to stay inside, I suppose--the uninvited guest. Don’t reckon anyone’d want me there anyway.”
Ginny stopped partway down the ladder and looked back up at him. “Do you want to come to the wedding?”
“No, of course not!” he voice said, but his eyes said something else. “I was just saying that it would be funny if I did. I mean, people would be shocked--a Malfoy at a Weasley family event? Not likely!”
“There will be some excellent food, you know, and dancing. Aside from the actual sappy wedding ceremony, it should be quite fun!” Ginny grinned.
“Oh, going to dance close with Potter, are you?” he asked, following her down the ladder.
Ginny rolled her eyes at him as he jumped the final few rungs and looked back at her. “If I must. I don’t plan on it.”
“Something amiss in the land of Ginny and Harry?”
“There is no ‘Ginny and Harry’-land, as you call it. And, I don’t know why I am telling you this, but I’m glad. I like to do my own thing. Guys get so needy sometimes, and there is too much else going on without all the drama of relationships,” she shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly and turned to go down the main stairs.
“I agree,” Malfoy said, following her.
“But you should come down for the big event, you know? I know you have some nice robes to wear.”
Malfoy shrugged. “Not really my thing, weddings.”
“Me neither, but it could be fun. A few harmless hexes under the table aimed at the bride,” she paused. “Oops! Did I say that aloud? I don’t know what got into me!” she laughed.
Turning the corner into the living room, Ginny stopped dead and Harry loudly cleared his throat. He, Ron, and Hermione were still up, talking quietly. All eyes turned to her.
“Oh, hey guys,” Ginny looked sheepishly at them. “I er… well… ”
Ron jumped up to his feet, his eyes not leaving Malfoy’s and his hands already clenched in fists. “Ginny, a word?” he barked.
“Good night, Ginny, everyone,” Malfoy nodded, deciding his room looked like a good place to be.
*******
Not waiting for a response, Ron took Ginny’s elbow and led her outside.
“What do you mean being upstairs with Malfoy? What exactly is going on? Harry looks like his head is about to explode!”
Ginny shook Ron’s grip on her elbow and turned on him. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe Malfoy is lonely? I’ve been the one here taking care of him while mum is getting ready for the wedding and you three are off gallivanting around and dad is at work! This hasn’t been easy for any of us but Malfoy’s been pretty fair to me, and I think he needs to know that at least someone cares for him!”
Ron gasped and contorted his face in disgust. “You? Care for him? He’s just trying to get you on his side so--”
Ginny scoffed and started back towards the house, but then decided against it. She turned back to Ron. “It is possible for people to change, you know. Perhaps not you, but others are capable of it. Malfoy’s been through a lot, and not just with all this now. All throughout his life he’s had a struggle!”
“Yeah, having loads of money is really--” Ron began but Ginny grabbed his arm harshly.
“Ron, do you realize how lucky we are? We may not have loads of money and nice things but we’ve had a family full of people who love us! Some people don’t have that and believe me-- IT’S MUCH WORSE!” Ginny threw his arm away and stormed inside, ran up to her room and shut the door.
REVISED and reposted Dec 10, 2005, thanks to Amber at Checkmated for a great beta!
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Chapter 6 : Becoming
Malfoy joined Ginny in the garden and they began their walk.
“So, I’m not limping as badly this morning,” Malfoy stated, after a few moments of awkward silence.
“Yeah, I noticed. You’re still in a bit of pain, though?” Ginny asked.
“Well, I wouldn’t call it pain. I’d call it…discomfort. I think the more I do, the sooner I will recover.”
Ginny had no idea what else to say. Usually, she had no trouble talking to anybody. But today, every sentence that came to mind seemed trite, stupid, or insensitive. Ginny was so deep in thought and was staring at her feet, and she didn’t see the large tree directly in her path.
Without warning, Draco grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him, away from the tree. She snapped out of it immediately and bravely raised her flushed face from his chest and laughed. “I am such a klutz!” she grinned.
He quickly set her right and let go. “I’ve never known you to be so quiet. It must be the company,” he said, head held high and regal while he walked a few steps in front of her.
She was still a little dazed, but felt herself straighten up. “What? Oh no. I mean, the past few days have been…” Ginny paused to look at him, puzzled. “Why would you think I’m not quiet?”
“I could always hear you and your friends laughing and talking in the Great Hall, in the corridors between classes. You were kind of loud, you know,” Malfoy laughed, shooting her a sideways look.
Ginny blushed and bit her lip. She guessed she had been quite interesting to watch.
“I think it’s good, though. One could always tell you were happy and having a good time--well your second year and after, that is. At the time I found it totally annoying but I suppose that could be because I’ve never really been happy myself,” he stopped, a sad smile crossing his lips. “I don’t reckon I ever will be.”
Ginny’s smile faded. Draco seemed so sincere, and so sad. She felt sorry for him and was overcome with a need to make sure he cheered up.
“Oh, come on. Surely you will be! I know things seem bad right now, but you have a…” she caught herself just before telling Draco that she would be his friend.
But, he caught her slip as well. “I have a what?” he asked curiously.
“Um, a lot to be happy about!” Ginny blurted without thinking.
Malfoy stopped walking and gave her look that made her want to wither away.
“Like what? I’ve practically lost everyone I ever thought was a friend, and I don’t know what is going on with my family. I can’t be certain they’re safe! I don’t have anything!”
Ginny looked at the ground. She closed her eyes briefly then, as she opened them and lifted her head, she reached for Malfoy’s hand.
“I’ll be your friend, Malfoy,” she smiled.
* * *
He was stunned. This feeling… seeing her hand reach across the space between them and gently take his. He had these memories of watching her at school. She acted tough and was always loud and boisterous, but she was also soft and kind.
He felt a true smile start to spread across his lips and got an airy feeling throughout his chest. It was the feeling he got whenever he thought about almost having killed Dumbledore and how Dumbledore had offered him safety and forgiveness if he could not go through with it. It was this grateful, heart-warming, longing yet angering ache. He wanted to hug Ginny to him. But at the same time he wanted to smack her hard across the face.
He wasn’t used to caring about people and had no idea how to go about doing so. He shook her hand from his. “I-I don’t need pity, not from the likes of you!” he said as scathingly as he could muster, and started back on his walk. Ginny sighed and followed after him.
“I don’t pity you! You’re a different person than I would have ever thought. I’m having fun with you, playing cards and whatever. You’re--”
“Cut it, Weasel!” he snapped. “Just leave. I can walk by myself. I’d enjoy it more without your incessant gabbering!” He turned without another word. He heard her briefly call out about borders, but he knew what to look for. And, though he heard her footsteps following him, he didn’t turn around. He’d always been just fine on his own.
*******
That evening after dinner Ginny, wanting to be alone, had decided to go through some old things in the attic. Malfoy had been silent since they returned from the walk and had taken his dinner in his room.
Harry, Ron and Hermione had asked her to join them doing something--she wasn’t paying attention--but Ginny made her excuse as though she needed to find something. She shouldn’t be long, she’d said, and she’d join them later.
Now, sitting on the dusty attic floor, she lazily sorted through the boxes marked ‘GINNY’S STUFF.’ She had no idea what she was looking for. She figured she’d know it when she saw it. She heard the trap door to the attic creak open and the ladder drop. ‘Darn it, Harry,” she thought.
“I said I’d be down after a while!” she said, not masking the irritation in her voice. When she got no reply, she looked over the edge to see Malfoy standing at the base of the ladder below.
“Hi,” she said in barely a whisper.
“I came to apologize, again. I seem to be doing that a lot lately,” he smiled slightly. “I’d really like to have a… a friend.” He gulped out the word as if it were nearly painful. “I doubt Potter and Weasley will want to be my best buds anytime soon. I doubt that I’ll actually ever want them to be,” he said, shaking his head. “But you--you’re ok baby weasel.”
“Okay then. We can be friends on two conditions,” she stated, crossing her arms petulantly.
“And what would they be?” he asked, his smile growing wider.
“Number one: No more calling me ‘baby weasel.’” Malfoy nodded. “Second: you have to promise… not to fall in love with me.” She laughed nervously.
Malfoy returned her laugh just as nervously. “You have nothing to worry about,” he smirked.
* * *
Draco noticed again how pretty Ginny was in the dimly lit attic, her hair up in a sloppy ponytail with loose golden auburn bits falling down and framing her face. She was just kidding about the ‘falling in love’ thing right? Or was she being coy? He shook his head again to clear his betraying thoughts.
Ginny blushed and tried to explain what she had said. “It’s a line from this Muggle thing Hermione showed me. You know how they watch films--moving pictures?”
“Yes, I know,” Draco responded.
“Well this girl and this guy who are an unlikely pair of friends, kind of like us, that’s what she says to him when they have to start working on some school work together. I guess it’s like an inside joke to… myself,” she finished, grinning lamely.
“So, what exactly are you doing up here anyway?” Draco asked, carefully taking the steps of the rickety ladder one at a time.
“I don’t know. I just didn’t feel like being around ‘the gang’ tonight. The wedding’s in two days and I just want everyone to go away, you know?” she said, obviously flustered.
“OK. Hint taken.” Draco started back down the ladder.
“No! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean you have to go. It’s like you said earlier, I’ve had some fun times with you and you’re far from being like anyone in my family so,” she considered her next words carefully. “Come on up here if you like. Want to look at some dumb, old kid stuff?”
Draco nodded and slowly ascended the creaking ladder once more. He made it with only a little trouble. They spent the next few hours laughing at old things of Ginny’s and trading childhood stories, most of which for him had not been pleasant.
Letting out a huge yawn, Ginny cleaned up and put away the last box. “Well, I reckon we’d better get down. It’s getting late,” Ginny said as she stood.
“Yeah. Lots to do in the next few days, right?” Draco asked. Ginny nodded. “Why exactly is the wedding here?”
“Fleur wants it outdoors, and the flower garden is so lovely this time of year.” Ginny rolled her eyes. “And our grounds are well-protected and there is a designated Portkey not far from here--just over on Stoatshead Hill. It all just worked out.”
“That’ll be a fun day for me. I’ll get to stay inside, I suppose--the uninvited guest. Don’t reckon anyone’d want me there anyway.”
Ginny stopped partway down the ladder and looked back up at him. “Do you want to come to the wedding?”
“No, of course not!” he voice said, but his eyes said something else. “I was just saying that it would be funny if I did. I mean, people would be shocked--a Malfoy at a Weasley family event? Not likely!”
“There will be some excellent food, you know, and dancing. Aside from the actual sappy wedding ceremony, it should be quite fun!” Ginny grinned.
“Oh, going to dance close with Potter, are you?” he asked, following her down the ladder.
Ginny rolled her eyes at him as he jumped the final few rungs and looked back at her. “If I must. I don’t plan on it.”
“Something amiss in the land of Ginny and Harry?”
“There is no ‘Ginny and Harry’-land, as you call it. And, I don’t know why I am telling you this, but I’m glad. I like to do my own thing. Guys get so needy sometimes, and there is too much else going on without all the drama of relationships,” she shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly and turned to go down the main stairs.
“I agree,” Malfoy said, following her.
“But you should come down for the big event, you know? I know you have some nice robes to wear.”
Malfoy shrugged. “Not really my thing, weddings.”
“Me neither, but it could be fun. A few harmless hexes under the table aimed at the bride,” she paused. “Oops! Did I say that aloud? I don’t know what got into me!” she laughed.
Turning the corner into the living room, Ginny stopped dead and Harry loudly cleared his throat. He, Ron, and Hermione were still up, talking quietly. All eyes turned to her.
“Oh, hey guys,” Ginny looked sheepishly at them. “I er… well… ”
Ron jumped up to his feet, his eyes not leaving Malfoy’s and his hands already clenched in fists. “Ginny, a word?” he barked.
“Good night, Ginny, everyone,” Malfoy nodded, deciding his room looked like a good place to be.
*******
Not waiting for a response, Ron took Ginny’s elbow and led her outside.
“What do you mean being upstairs with Malfoy? What exactly is going on? Harry looks like his head is about to explode!”
Ginny shook Ron’s grip on her elbow and turned on him. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe Malfoy is lonely? I’ve been the one here taking care of him while mum is getting ready for the wedding and you three are off gallivanting around and dad is at work! This hasn’t been easy for any of us but Malfoy’s been pretty fair to me, and I think he needs to know that at least someone cares for him!”
Ron gasped and contorted his face in disgust. “You? Care for him? He’s just trying to get you on his side so--”
Ginny scoffed and started back towards the house, but then decided against it. She turned back to Ron. “It is possible for people to change, you know. Perhaps not you, but others are capable of it. Malfoy’s been through a lot, and not just with all this now. All throughout his life he’s had a struggle!”
“Yeah, having loads of money is really--” Ron began but Ginny grabbed his arm harshly.
“Ron, do you realize how lucky we are? We may not have loads of money and nice things but we’ve had a family full of people who love us! Some people don’t have that and believe me-- IT’S MUCH WORSE!” Ginny threw his arm away and stormed inside, ran up to her room and shut the door.
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