I looked into his cold gray eyes, and from behind his back, he pulled a note. The parchment looked expensive and new, and I wondered why he couldn’t give it to me by owl. “I thought it would be better if I delivered it personally. I don’t think you would have appreciated getting this by owl.” he said in an explanation. I was so incredibly lost at what it could have said. I sat down and opened it, and as I read it, my eyes grew steadily darker. I knew that I would have never thought twice about Malfoy had I read the note before. I was hurt as I read it, but that hurt quickly turned to anger.
“Why would you write something like this? Do you sincerely mean this, that you don’t like me, that I was never anything to you?” I was angry and upset, to say the least.
“No, that’s not what I meant. I meant that there’s just no way that we can be together. Who would understand and accept us being friends? I doubt that they would even accept us as acquaintances, for lack of reasons other than that our families hate each other and are from completely different backgrounds. I just don’t want to live with that pain from my family and friends, for one good friend, since I know that is what we would be. I get so fed up with dealing with them, and it would be suicide to befriend you, even though I wish it could be so badly. I’m sure that you’ll find a friend that you are more comfortable with.” He said, a pleading look in his eyes asking for forgiveness.
I wouldn’t accept his plea. I stormed back to the common room, grateful that it was almost empty, except for a few first years who were studying for a potions exam that they had the next day. I was angry, to say the least. I just knew that he would never love me the way that I wanted to be loved, he would never like me as a friend.
~*~*~*~*~
The next several days we were very distant. I would look his way, and he would look away from me. I wished that I had known what was truly going on inside his head. He was always with his friends, it seemed. He liked to be surrounded by people and the center of attention. It was odd seeing him and knowing that it would never work out. We were from two completely different worlds. It hit me hard, because I had been so sure that I had liked him. Now that I have seen more of who he is around his friends, I’m not so sure that I want to be even friends with him.
He is a complete arse, I’ve decided. He acts as though he’s king of the world, when there are few who like him and few who fear him. He doesn’t realize that he has so little power, and one day he will, and I’ve figured that it will come back to haunt him.
I also realized that depression bites. It would explain my need to end my life, and it would explain why I never know how to handle my problems. I just don’t know. I know that I do need to talk to someone about it. I don’t know who I can turn to though. I have no friends of my own, and my brother’s friends aren’t exactly people I want to turn to, along with Ron himself. I have what seems like nobody, and it is really killing me.
I am slowly getting better, but this incident with Draco is making life so much worse, and I’m about to resort to a knife. I’ve only cut myself once, and scared myself when I did so, so I never did it again, but now I think that it’s the only way to relieve my pain. I have to find a knife that will not hurt very badly. I won’t slit my wrists, just somewhere on my arms, or my legs, or some place. Just to have a moment without the emotional pain.
I walked to the kitchens, deciding that I wanted a snack. I tickled the pear, having been shown by Fred and George in a previous year how to get in. As I entered, the smell of cookies filled my nose. I looked up to see a boy a couple of years older than me, but not much taller, sitting at a table. I was so glad that I had been there at that moment, because he looked up and smiled. He introduced himself as Lucifer, and I introduced myself as Virginia. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t place his features.
I sat down beside him, and we started talking. I told him about me in general, my classes and house and the like. He told me about his house, Slytherin, and I found out that he was a seventh year and he took divination for a year.
We sat and ate and drank for a couple of hours. I had a blast talking to him, and I wondered why he was in Slytherin. He seemed so nice, and he didn’t fit the Slytherin personality. He knew that I was a Gryffindor, and he still talked to me as if I was a real person. I liked that. As we talked, I found out that he had written some stories. I told him that I had written a couple of songs, so he asked me to sing one. I didn’t want to, because I was on the shy side, but he talked me into it. So I sang for him a song that I had written.
~*~*~*~*~*~
“So, what do you think?”
“I’m impressed. The lyrics and the tune are really good. How long did it take you to write?”
“It only took me about half an hour.”
“Wow. I’m amazed, I didn’t think anyone could write lyrics that fast.”
“Thank you. I have a couple of others, but I don’t feel like sharing them right now. A couple have a lot of anger in them.”
“You write songs when you’re angry?”
“Yeah, I found out that it’s better to channel my angry energy into something productive instead of something destructive.”
“It’s a good way to channel that energy, I agree.”
“Wow, it’s getting late, I really should get back to Gryffindor tower before anyone knows that I’m gone. Besides, I’m still fuming over something that someone wrote to me.”
“Yeah, who is it?”
“Draco Malfoy. You probably know him.”
“Damn right I know him. He’s my brother.” My jaw dropped completely when he said this. “What exactly did he write to you?”
“Well, here’s the note. Keep it if you want, because I don’t want it.”
Dear Weasley,
I know that you really like me. I am truly sorry to tell you this, but I just don’t feel the same way. I don’t like you as a friend, even, so I think it would be best if we didn’t acknowledge the presence of each other in the halls and such, because that will make it harder for you to accept if you acknowledge me.
Sincerely, D.M.
“Wow, that’s harsh. I knew that he didn’t like someone, but I didn’t think it would be a sweet girl like you. I hope that you don’t feel too hurt by this.”
“No, not hurt, just incredibly mad. I was so happy that I may have found someone who liked me for me, and then I found out that he didn’t like me that way, or at all, for that matter.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll see what I can do to set him straight.”
Lucifer and I left the kitchens since it was already breakfast time, and we had not realized how long we had been there together. We went to the Great Hall so we wouldn’t miss breakfast with others, as to not seem overly suspicious. I started heading for Gryffindor table when we entered the hall, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me. I turned around to look into the piercing blue eyes of Lucifer. I drowned into those eyes for a moment, until he spoke and I was snapped back into reality.
“Come sit with me, Ginny. Dumbledore won’t mind terribly if you sit with us. I believe he would be thrilled, as a matter of fact.” He said, stating what I never thought I would hear. I was being invited to sit with my brother’s worst enemies, although their rivalry was insignificant when compared with that of the Dark Lord and the people of the light side.
“I don’t know if I should…” I said, still apprehensive.
“Don’t worry. If I don’t have a problem with you, then the rest of them won’t. Come sit with me and my brother and everyone else.”
“If you can name one good reason as to why I would sit with someone who does not like me, then I’ll just give in and agree.” I said, feeling quite brave at the moment.
“Because you would be sitting with someone who really does like you.” he said with a mischievous twinkle in his eye and a flirtatious wink.
“Fine, you win, but I’m only doing this because you asked.” I said, happy despite what I said. I finally felt wanted somewhere. I had no idea that he would be so charming when I met him, it was a discovery I made as we continually talked with each other.
We walked over there, and he motioned for me to take a seat. I did so, and he sat beside me. I had not noticed that he had me placed directly across from Draco, or else I would have objected to the seating arrangements. I did not know what to make of the fact that he was staring at me, but I ate very little, having still been full from the snacks that I had eaten in the kitchens that morning.
As we ate, some of the Slytherins made conversation with me, though I really didn’t know any of them. “So, you have divination? Personally I think Trelawny is a nut case.”
“Yes, I would have to agree, but it’s an easy course if you just make everything on your homework up and pretend to see things that you don’t really see in class.” I said, knowing that it was completely true.
“Wow, a Gryffindor cheating. I never would have guessed in my life that any of you would do such a thing in… anything, really,” another said, making me feel defensive for a moment before I realized that it was meant as a compliment. I began to notice Draco staring at me intensely, what was his problem?
“Why is Draco staring at me so intently, Lucifer?” I asked quietly so only he would hear.
“I believe he is agitated that I brought you here to our table. He most likely has no clue that I know he doesn’t like you, which is probably why he hasn’t said anything about it yet.” He said, looking for all the world as though he were a kid about to get into the cookie jar when he wasn’t supposed to.
Breakfast went by without any real conflicts, other than a short argument over who had the butter knife. The food cleared, and everyone got up to head to other classes. As I got up, so did Lucifer, and he put his hand on my shoulder as we walked out the door. I was beginning to feel appreciated.
My first class was potions, and Lucifer had been kind enough to walk me there. On the way we made polite conversation since we had only met in the wee hours of that morning. When we got there, he excused himself to go talk with Snape for a few moments. When he came back, he stood near my table. Snape walked up to the front of the room and I began to take out my ingredients that I would need for the potion we were making. He cleared his throat, and the entire class looked up at him.
“Students, we have a treat for you all. One of my seventh year students has kindly offered to help you all with the class. He will be here for a few weeks, as he is training to be an alchemist, so he wishes to help those who may not be as proficient with potions as he is.” I gaped at him, and then looked at Lucifer. He had that same mischievous glint in his eye that he always seemed to carry, and I started to wonder what was in his mind, as he didn’t seem to say very much about himself.
I started in on my potion, and felt someone sit beside me. I looked up from my work to see Lucifer sitting there, looking over what I had done so far. “You need to chop these up and put them in. I’ll get started on the next step, you will probably need help with it, since it’s rather difficult.” He said, and we worked together for a few minutes. Then he left me to offer his services to the rest of the class. I was surprised when he came back and said that nobody really wanted help, so he stayed and worked with me the rest of the time. I quite enjoyed working with him, and Snape even gave me top marks, seeing as it was perfect and reviewed by one of his favorite students.
I finally had a partner in the class, as nobody else would pair with me. The incident in my first year still unnerved everyone around me, even though I’m now a fifth year. He had taken me under his wing, so to speak, and was helping me to become a more outgoing person.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Class ended, and Lucifer and I parted ways. It was somewhat disappointing to see him go, but I had herbology next, and he had transfiguration. It had to be done. I would see him again at dinner anyhow.
I went back up to my dorm quickly to get my things for class, and as I was gathering them, an owl dropped an envelope on my bed. I picked it up and opened it. The note inside was on the same stationary that Draco had sent me with his note saying that he no longer wanted to be friends with me. I read it, and my face lit up instantaneously. Draco had written an apology, and had asked me to meet him in the astronomy tower that night.
I was running late for herbology, so I ran straight to class. It passed by slowly, because I wanted to meet Draco that night. I had decided to go, of course, and I wanted to be there early. I hoped that he would be truly sorry, but I refused to let my expectations get too high. You never know what will come your way.
“Why would you write something like this? Do you sincerely mean this, that you don’t like me, that I was never anything to you?” I was angry and upset, to say the least.
“No, that’s not what I meant. I meant that there’s just no way that we can be together. Who would understand and accept us being friends? I doubt that they would even accept us as acquaintances, for lack of reasons other than that our families hate each other and are from completely different backgrounds. I just don’t want to live with that pain from my family and friends, for one good friend, since I know that is what we would be. I get so fed up with dealing with them, and it would be suicide to befriend you, even though I wish it could be so badly. I’m sure that you’ll find a friend that you are more comfortable with.” He said, a pleading look in his eyes asking for forgiveness.
I wouldn’t accept his plea. I stormed back to the common room, grateful that it was almost empty, except for a few first years who were studying for a potions exam that they had the next day. I was angry, to say the least. I just knew that he would never love me the way that I wanted to be loved, he would never like me as a friend.
~*~*~*~*~
The next several days we were very distant. I would look his way, and he would look away from me. I wished that I had known what was truly going on inside his head. He was always with his friends, it seemed. He liked to be surrounded by people and the center of attention. It was odd seeing him and knowing that it would never work out. We were from two completely different worlds. It hit me hard, because I had been so sure that I had liked him. Now that I have seen more of who he is around his friends, I’m not so sure that I want to be even friends with him.
He is a complete arse, I’ve decided. He acts as though he’s king of the world, when there are few who like him and few who fear him. He doesn’t realize that he has so little power, and one day he will, and I’ve figured that it will come back to haunt him.
I also realized that depression bites. It would explain my need to end my life, and it would explain why I never know how to handle my problems. I just don’t know. I know that I do need to talk to someone about it. I don’t know who I can turn to though. I have no friends of my own, and my brother’s friends aren’t exactly people I want to turn to, along with Ron himself. I have what seems like nobody, and it is really killing me.
I am slowly getting better, but this incident with Draco is making life so much worse, and I’m about to resort to a knife. I’ve only cut myself once, and scared myself when I did so, so I never did it again, but now I think that it’s the only way to relieve my pain. I have to find a knife that will not hurt very badly. I won’t slit my wrists, just somewhere on my arms, or my legs, or some place. Just to have a moment without the emotional pain.
I walked to the kitchens, deciding that I wanted a snack. I tickled the pear, having been shown by Fred and George in a previous year how to get in. As I entered, the smell of cookies filled my nose. I looked up to see a boy a couple of years older than me, but not much taller, sitting at a table. I was so glad that I had been there at that moment, because he looked up and smiled. He introduced himself as Lucifer, and I introduced myself as Virginia. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t place his features.
I sat down beside him, and we started talking. I told him about me in general, my classes and house and the like. He told me about his house, Slytherin, and I found out that he was a seventh year and he took divination for a year.
We sat and ate and drank for a couple of hours. I had a blast talking to him, and I wondered why he was in Slytherin. He seemed so nice, and he didn’t fit the Slytherin personality. He knew that I was a Gryffindor, and he still talked to me as if I was a real person. I liked that. As we talked, I found out that he had written some stories. I told him that I had written a couple of songs, so he asked me to sing one. I didn’t want to, because I was on the shy side, but he talked me into it. So I sang for him a song that I had written.
~*~*~*~*~*~
“So, what do you think?”
“I’m impressed. The lyrics and the tune are really good. How long did it take you to write?”
“It only took me about half an hour.”
“Wow. I’m amazed, I didn’t think anyone could write lyrics that fast.”
“Thank you. I have a couple of others, but I don’t feel like sharing them right now. A couple have a lot of anger in them.”
“You write songs when you’re angry?”
“Yeah, I found out that it’s better to channel my angry energy into something productive instead of something destructive.”
“It’s a good way to channel that energy, I agree.”
“Wow, it’s getting late, I really should get back to Gryffindor tower before anyone knows that I’m gone. Besides, I’m still fuming over something that someone wrote to me.”
“Yeah, who is it?”
“Draco Malfoy. You probably know him.”
“Damn right I know him. He’s my brother.” My jaw dropped completely when he said this. “What exactly did he write to you?”
“Well, here’s the note. Keep it if you want, because I don’t want it.”
Dear Weasley,
I know that you really like me. I am truly sorry to tell you this, but I just don’t feel the same way. I don’t like you as a friend, even, so I think it would be best if we didn’t acknowledge the presence of each other in the halls and such, because that will make it harder for you to accept if you acknowledge me.
Sincerely, D.M.
“Wow, that’s harsh. I knew that he didn’t like someone, but I didn’t think it would be a sweet girl like you. I hope that you don’t feel too hurt by this.”
“No, not hurt, just incredibly mad. I was so happy that I may have found someone who liked me for me, and then I found out that he didn’t like me that way, or at all, for that matter.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll see what I can do to set him straight.”
Lucifer and I left the kitchens since it was already breakfast time, and we had not realized how long we had been there together. We went to the Great Hall so we wouldn’t miss breakfast with others, as to not seem overly suspicious. I started heading for Gryffindor table when we entered the hall, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me. I turned around to look into the piercing blue eyes of Lucifer. I drowned into those eyes for a moment, until he spoke and I was snapped back into reality.
“Come sit with me, Ginny. Dumbledore won’t mind terribly if you sit with us. I believe he would be thrilled, as a matter of fact.” He said, stating what I never thought I would hear. I was being invited to sit with my brother’s worst enemies, although their rivalry was insignificant when compared with that of the Dark Lord and the people of the light side.
“I don’t know if I should…” I said, still apprehensive.
“Don’t worry. If I don’t have a problem with you, then the rest of them won’t. Come sit with me and my brother and everyone else.”
“If you can name one good reason as to why I would sit with someone who does not like me, then I’ll just give in and agree.” I said, feeling quite brave at the moment.
“Because you would be sitting with someone who really does like you.” he said with a mischievous twinkle in his eye and a flirtatious wink.
“Fine, you win, but I’m only doing this because you asked.” I said, happy despite what I said. I finally felt wanted somewhere. I had no idea that he would be so charming when I met him, it was a discovery I made as we continually talked with each other.
We walked over there, and he motioned for me to take a seat. I did so, and he sat beside me. I had not noticed that he had me placed directly across from Draco, or else I would have objected to the seating arrangements. I did not know what to make of the fact that he was staring at me, but I ate very little, having still been full from the snacks that I had eaten in the kitchens that morning.
As we ate, some of the Slytherins made conversation with me, though I really didn’t know any of them. “So, you have divination? Personally I think Trelawny is a nut case.”
“Yes, I would have to agree, but it’s an easy course if you just make everything on your homework up and pretend to see things that you don’t really see in class.” I said, knowing that it was completely true.
“Wow, a Gryffindor cheating. I never would have guessed in my life that any of you would do such a thing in… anything, really,” another said, making me feel defensive for a moment before I realized that it was meant as a compliment. I began to notice Draco staring at me intensely, what was his problem?
“Why is Draco staring at me so intently, Lucifer?” I asked quietly so only he would hear.
“I believe he is agitated that I brought you here to our table. He most likely has no clue that I know he doesn’t like you, which is probably why he hasn’t said anything about it yet.” He said, looking for all the world as though he were a kid about to get into the cookie jar when he wasn’t supposed to.
Breakfast went by without any real conflicts, other than a short argument over who had the butter knife. The food cleared, and everyone got up to head to other classes. As I got up, so did Lucifer, and he put his hand on my shoulder as we walked out the door. I was beginning to feel appreciated.
My first class was potions, and Lucifer had been kind enough to walk me there. On the way we made polite conversation since we had only met in the wee hours of that morning. When we got there, he excused himself to go talk with Snape for a few moments. When he came back, he stood near my table. Snape walked up to the front of the room and I began to take out my ingredients that I would need for the potion we were making. He cleared his throat, and the entire class looked up at him.
“Students, we have a treat for you all. One of my seventh year students has kindly offered to help you all with the class. He will be here for a few weeks, as he is training to be an alchemist, so he wishes to help those who may not be as proficient with potions as he is.” I gaped at him, and then looked at Lucifer. He had that same mischievous glint in his eye that he always seemed to carry, and I started to wonder what was in his mind, as he didn’t seem to say very much about himself.
I started in on my potion, and felt someone sit beside me. I looked up from my work to see Lucifer sitting there, looking over what I had done so far. “You need to chop these up and put them in. I’ll get started on the next step, you will probably need help with it, since it’s rather difficult.” He said, and we worked together for a few minutes. Then he left me to offer his services to the rest of the class. I was surprised when he came back and said that nobody really wanted help, so he stayed and worked with me the rest of the time. I quite enjoyed working with him, and Snape even gave me top marks, seeing as it was perfect and reviewed by one of his favorite students.
I finally had a partner in the class, as nobody else would pair with me. The incident in my first year still unnerved everyone around me, even though I’m now a fifth year. He had taken me under his wing, so to speak, and was helping me to become a more outgoing person.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Class ended, and Lucifer and I parted ways. It was somewhat disappointing to see him go, but I had herbology next, and he had transfiguration. It had to be done. I would see him again at dinner anyhow.
I went back up to my dorm quickly to get my things for class, and as I was gathering them, an owl dropped an envelope on my bed. I picked it up and opened it. The note inside was on the same stationary that Draco had sent me with his note saying that he no longer wanted to be friends with me. I read it, and my face lit up instantaneously. Draco had written an apology, and had asked me to meet him in the astronomy tower that night.
I was running late for herbology, so I ran straight to class. It passed by slowly, because I wanted to meet Draco that night. I had decided to go, of course, and I wanted to be there early. I hoped that he would be truly sorry, but I refused to let my expectations get too high. You never know what will come your way.
Leave a Review