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She had been so lonely. Hogwarts was an eerie place now, with so few students wandering its corridors.
She had been so lonely. Harry had left her behind to chase Voldemort. Ron and Hermione, of course, had gone with him. Her family was spread across the globe fighting the Dark Lord and his cronies.
She had managed to forget who Harry was in their few moments together. She had imagined that he could be there for her – stay with her. Reality kept reminding her, though, that they could not be. Not the way they were. Not the way the world was.
She had been so lonely, until she met Draco Malfoy. She smiled at the memory.
Ginny was walking along the edge of the forest. This was her first year at Hogwarts without Harry, Ron and Hermione. She missed Harry; she had no idea where he was. Suddenly, she felt an arm grasp her shoulder.
She spun around with her wand out, and gaped in surprise. Draco Malfoy, in tattered rags, was standing before her. “What do you want?” she asked.
“I need help,” Draco said, not meeting her eyes.
Ginny eyed his arm. “You have the Dark Mark. You’re a Death Eater.”
Draco grimaced. “Not anymore. I didn’t follow the Dark Lord’s orders. I didn’t kill Dumbledore. My father is furious, and the Dark Lord has named me a traitor.”
“Why should I care?”
Draco sighed. “You shouldn’t. Forget it.” He turned back to the forest.
Ginny couldn’t help feeling a twisting in her gut. He didn’t kill Dumbledore.
“Who’s going to help you, Draco?”
He laughed. “Why do you think I asked you of all people?
There’s no one else. I thought – maybe you would understand the feeling of being trapped. I guess not.”
Ginny shuddered to herself. “What are you talking about?”
Draco turned to her. “Are you kidding? Any blind fool would know how you feel about Potter; now, he’s gone. You know what I’m talking about, even if you won’t help me.”
Ginny shut her eyes tightly for a moment, fighting for control. “All right, I’ll help.”
Draco smiled.
After finishing her breakfast in the Great Hall, Ginny headed toward the edge of the Forbidden Forest for Care of Magical Creatures with Professor Grubblyplank. Hagrid and Grawp were another two noticeable missing figures from Hogwarts. They were on a mission to purify the dark Abraclavian Forests.
A person moved to the edge of the forest, shadows darkening the curves of his face. Silver eyes locked into chocolate, and she involuntarily gasped. They seemed to look inside her, to cut through the protection around her soul.
Footsteps rang behind her and he disappeared into the darkness of the forest, melding into the wilderness. She knew what to do. People stared at her as she walked up to Hagrid’s now empty hut. She wondered why.
She didn’t realize that the radiant smile that had been absent since the Trio left Hogwarts had returned. That she was wearing it while thinking of a certain boy she shouldn’t be thinking of.
After dinner that night, she made her way down to the lake and sat, arms wrapped tightly around herself as she waited. He would come, as he always did.
Sure enough, a cloak was thrown around her shoulders. Tan, strong hands tied it in place from behind. She shivered, feeling his breath on her neck.
She turned to look at the man kneeling gracefully behind her. The forest had roughened Draco Malfoy…a year of dodging attacks from both Death Eaters and the Order had matured him. He was altogether a different person from the Hogwarts student of yore.
Pale skin had tanned. The sun had darkened white blonde hair to pale blond. Shoulder-length hair had been cut short for convenience’s sake. Muscles rippled across his once-scrawny frame. He was a pampered prince no longer. But Ginny thought rough edges suited Draco Malfoy.
He pulled her away from her thoughts with his husky voice.
“Holding up alright, Ginevra?” No matter how soft his voice was, his eyes never lost their burning intensity.
She smiled weakly and said in barely a whisper, “Sure, Draco. Sit down.” She patted the ground beside her. “Have you decided yet?”
He sighed. “Gin, I can’t live like this much longer. I barely dodged an attack from my aunt Bellatrix. And yesterday, your lot came after me. Having no allegiance is proving doubly dangerous." Is it time to pick a side? If I don't pick a side can I survive?
Ginny bit back words. Part of the compromise they had made when they began speaking to one another was that they wouldn’t judge each other. But this war was the fight of their lives… and picking a side was less about ideals for Draco than about surviving until tomorrow.
“What would make you pick a side?” Ginny asked.
“If I was sure they would win, I would take their side. I would be more likely to survive the War if I fought for its winner rather than its loser.” Draco said, painfully blunt…and very Slytherin-ish.
“So which side is the winner?” asked Ginny.
Draco’s eyes flashed, “Do you think I know? I don’t like living in hiding, you know. I don’t like both sides thinking I’m on the other and trying to kill me. Being neutral is hard in this War, but I can’t decide.”
He glanced at her, and she waited for him to speak.
So he went on. “The Dark…well, I’m higher up in power and know more about it. They are also energized by fanaticism, which can make them more dangerous.”
Ginny interjected, “You’ve deflected all their attacks so far.”
Draco retorted, “Barely. And if that’s how they treat undeclared entities, I’d hate to see what they’d try on openly defiant traitors. Plus, they’re family.”
Ginny broke in again, “Family? Merlin, Draco…your father gave you the scars on your back. Don’t even try to tell me they’re little…I saw them that first night when you were practically in rags and begging me for help. They turned you out because you didn’t kill Dumbledore. Draco, you were only seventeen! Your aunt tried to kill you yesterday and your mother isn’t speaking to you. That isn’t worth anything! They don’t love you if they’d hurt you to help themselves.”
Draco shook his head adamantly. “They’re still family. Anyway, regarding the Light, things could go either way in this War. The Light has more loyalty toward one another – I don’t think anyone would betray me there. But they would never trust me, not fully.”
He turned his head to look at Ginny. Distant rumbles of thunder brought down sheets of rain. Drops clung to his eyelashes and the water soaked them both to the skin. Ginny threw off the cloak - it was no use now - and let the humid air warm her. Her clothes rippled across her skin.
“I’m so lost, Ginny,” he said quietly, his eyes boring into hers. The sheer desperation in his voice made her think thoughts she never had before.
Maybe he needed her refuge more than she did. Maybe an escape from reality would give him the guidance he needed.
She took his wet hand in hers, and silently led him into the grounds. The squeak of her shoes against the damp ground and the crackle of branches beneath their feet were the only sound as they walked.
He asked no questions. What Ginny didn’t realize was that he couldn’t…he was busy holding back damning tears.
She stopped in front of a thicket and whispered, “Realidad Insignifica.”
A hole opened in the brush and she pulled Draco through it into the meadow hidden inside. The shocked look on his face forced her to explain this secret.
She began hesitantly, unsure of her words, “This is my escape. I’ve never shown it to anyone before. Basically, it’s Rowena Ravenclaw’s secret sanctuary…you see Ravenclaw and Slytherin were alike. Slytherin created the Chamber of Secrets and Rowena created the Garden. There were secrets Rowena held that no one knew about. This was where she came to think about them and escape from reality. I don’t know why I showed this to you; maybe it could help you think.”
He looked at her and said carefully, “How do you know about all of this?”
She blurted, “I opened the Chamber five years ago.”
His eyes hazed over in confusion. “But the Chamber was Slytherin’s room…how did that tell you about Ravenclaw?”
Suddenly, he looked up at the magically spelled silver sky and his eyes began to burn again. “Slytherin and Ravenclaw were lovers, weren’t they?”
Ginny mutely nodded.
Draco asked, “Was that her secret?”
Ginny nodded again. “When Slytherin began to fight with the other Founders, Rowena created this as a haven for herself away from the arguments. When he left the school, she began spending most of her time here. It’s magical – surrounded by wards and everything. The weather is controlled, and no one can come in without the password."
Draco looked around at his surroundings. “A garden, you said…it looks like a field.”
Ginny silently took his hand again and led him through a copse of trees. In the center was a huge maze of flowers and shrubs. Dew hung thick on the plants and the air was heavy with syrupy sweet fragrance. The air was warm and moist. Their clothes clung to their skin.
Draco gracefully sat where he stood. The ground was covered with a layer of vivid petals thick as a carpet. She sat down next to him.
“This is the garden,” she said with a smile. He barely seemed to hear her.
“Merlin, Ginny, it’s beautiful,” Draco breathed. “What can I say? It’s…there aren’t words. I can’t find them, at least.”
Ginny smiled. “Thank you would probably work.” She chuckled, rich tones rolling through the air merrily.
“Thank you,” said Draco fervently. The feeling in his voice made her blush. His intense gaze and suddenly warm stormy eyes made her acutely conscious of the clothes clinging to her…of a trickle of water running down her chest to her navel…of his hand still clasping hers. She pushed those thoughts away quickly as they came.
Gently extricating her hand, she replied, “You’re welcome, Draco. You needed it as much as, if not more than I did.”
Draco barely seemed to hear her. “When do we have to leave?” he asked wistfully.
Ginny smiled. “You can stay as long as you want. I, on the other hand, need to get back to my dormitory before curfew…it’s nearly nine o’ clock already. Time for bed in Gryffindor! Night, Draco. Sweet dreams.”
Draco grew alert. “No, Ginny! Please don’t leave…I…I would like you to stay.”
Ginny looked at him perplexedly. “Why?”
Draco avoided her eyes. “Because…I – I don’t know…” He looked uncomfortable, then rebellious, as he said, “Damn it, Gin – I just want you to!”
She stood in front of him, arms crossed, the very picture of feminine irritation. “Draco, I am not going to do something just because you want me to do it. I’m not an aristocratic Slytherin girl. I actually require explanations. You aren’t a god.” Her voice burned with anger.
Draco flinched. “I’m not saying that. I don’t treat women as less. I am NOT like my father. I just…don’t want to feel alone.” He sounded ashamed.
Ginny’s eyes softened. “You’re not.” She sat back down.
Draco, however, stood up and walked away, his back to her. He laughed, terribly. “You were right. Both the Dark and the Light treat me as an outsider. Who really cares?”
Ginny walked up behind him and grabbed his shoulder, spinning him around to stare him in the eyes. For once, the fire in her eyes overwhelmed his. “I care!” she said fiercely.
Draco recoiled from her. “You can’t. You – we – you just can’t.”
Ginny looked at him scathingly. “Why not? So you can throw yourself off a cliff without second thoughts? So you can pretend that your death will be a solution to the problems? So you can stop feeling trying to believe that no one cares? Why the hell can’t I care?”
Draco’s eyes were sad. Softly, he said, “Because of who we are. The world would never let us be.”
She sighed. “Didn’t you catch the password to this place? It means Reality is Insignificant. I wouldn’t admit that I cared out in the real world…not now. But here, here I can say whatever I want. This is our sanctuary. Doesn’t your guard ever come down?”
Draco flinched again, but didn’t answer. Ginny’s anger suddenly disappeared. “I’m sorry, Draco. I – I’ve hurt you.”
He ignored her words. Looking at her hard, his eyes were a clear window into his mind when before they had been hazy. She had never seen him like this, but now he took her breath away.
Waves of emotion flowed through his face. She could barely hear him as he began to speak.
Eyes facing the floor, he whispered, “I’m so tired of being alone.”
She smiled in relief. “Well, you aren’t in here. I’m here.”
The words flowed from his mouth as if he was afraid he would stop if he thought for even a moment. “There’s one thing I don’t regret in this whole damn War, and that’s you. I would have gone crazy months ago if it wasn’t for you. When I wasn’t sure that I was worth fighting for…when it was easier to just give up and pick a side, you told me I was. You told me I should make sure I was doing what I believed in. But I was so scared of trusting you because that could kill both of us. So I still thought I was alone. But I’m not, am I? You really do care.”
Ginny whispered, “Of course I do.”
Suddenly Draco’s eyes were aflame (not the embers that they constantly were). She couldn’t pull her eyes away.
Heat rushed through her body and he slowly reached out a hand, running it over the wet cotton down the curves of her side. She let out a shaky breath, the silver consuming her.
He took a step closer and slipped his hand around her waist. She melted into him, blood rushing to the places where their bodies met and heat rushing through her veins. His other hand ran through her hair and tilted her head up to look into her eyes.
She responded to his lips descending upon hers with all the emotions she had held tight for so long. So long that she had forgotten they were even there. She did this because this is what they both needed. They couldn’t be alone any longer and survive this war. She did this because she was tired of fighting it, because she couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone else.
She barely noticed when her back touched the soft ground.
The sunlight trickled through the branches in the garden. Ginny slowly opened her eyes and felt the petals beneath her, the arms around her, and the body pressed against her back. She twisted within his hold to look up at the man she loved…the man who loved her. She looked back through her memories of that night.
They lay entangled thoroughly spent. His hands ran through her hair, stroking smoothly. She kept her eyes shut, feigning sleep as her head lay on his chest. She didn’t want to ruin the moment.
She heard his heart thudding in his chest and the gentle rise and fall of his breath. She lost herself in the silence to the rhythmic sounds as they slowly lulled her to sleep.
Just as her eyes were closing, he breathed into her hair, “I love you, Ginevra Weasley.”
Her eyes opened with a snap. Could it be just empty dreams…or had he…
“What did you say?” she asked him softly.
Draco looked startled. “I thought you were asleep,” he said quickly, avoiding her question.
She smiled. His hesitance was answer enough. “I love you too, Draco Malfoy. Don’t you ever forget it,” she whispered at him.
Relief flooded his face and the first smile (not smirk) that she had ever seen on him brightened his eyes to a radiant blue-grey. She had always thought the tight curving of his lips was his smile…but this – grin – was his smile. His eyes, right now, lit up her world.
His hand smoothed her hair back from her face as she looked up at him and ran lightly down her back. He smirked, “Well, there are ways to show love, Angel.”
She smiled mischievously, scrunching her nose at him. She pecked him on the lips, “Love you.”
He smirked at her and said, his voice husky and his eyes raging with emotion, “I was thinking on a…deeper…level.”
Any thought of teasing Draco disappeared as he showed her exactly what he was thinking of.
Ginny smiled contently, slipped out of her lover’s arms and look at his peaceful face. She walked around the garden, feeling the dew beneath her feet…seeing the sunlight play across the foliage. For a while, she was lost in this escape.
When she saw the bustle of students through the branches, however, reality came storming back and worry filled her. What had she done? She – what if Draco decided the Dark Arts held his best interests? She would be in love with a Death Eater!
She knew she couldn’t stay. This was fighting against reality…they could only win for so long before circumstances beat them. They had fought reality last night…but now it was morning and reality would win again. Escaping from reality would only work sometimes. Escape wasn’t always possible.
This had been what they both needed. She didn’t regret it. They were not alone any longer. She had her memories.
She hoped, oh so desperately, that Draco would find his way back to her…to the Order. She would wait for him, always.
The note she left was the last chance she would somehow change their reality.
Dear Draco,
Love doesn’t exist for the Dark Lord and his followers. We can only fight reality for a while…eventually we have to face it. Dark or Light, you decide our reality. But I will be waiting for you…I love you.
Ginny
Tears slipping down her face, her heart broke as she left their sanctuary. She wouldn’t be able to move on. He was the one for her. She knew that deeper than anything else.
She could only hope that he would find his way back to her. She could only pray that he felt the same way she did…that the words were not empty…that he meant them with all his heart.
Draco awoke to find a note in his hand and a hollowed out spot next to him in the petals. Slowly he read Ginny’s letter. And he realized that Ginny was the only one who cared…the only one who mattered. That he believed with all his heart in their love. If the Dark Side didn’t accept love, he couldn’t fight for them.
He ran out into the grounds, searching for her. He had to tell her that he had found what he wanted. He had found her, and that was all he needed—someone who cared.
For once, all of his guards were down. And with the Dark Lord…even one mistake was fatal. As he passed by a shadowy thicket without checking whether someone hid there, a hooded robed figure stepped out from behind him and raised its wand.
He never felt anything as his world was absorbed into a green light.
Pansy Parkinson took off her mask and stood before her love’s crumpled body, tears streaming down her face. If only he had listened to her when she pleaded with him to do what was expected of him.
She hadn’t wanted to kill him. But the Dark Lord’s will must be done. And besides, he had become loyal to another cause…the Dark Lord had broken through his mind-shields this morning and found that much out. Traitors were killed.
Pushing away thoughts of the boy she loved…the man she killed…she disappeared. Killing Draco Malfoy would put her high in the Dark Lord’s favor. She pushed away memories (again) from before the War, images of Draco’s torn eyes when he told her that he had to leave to figure out who he was before he could pledge loyalty to the Dark Lord. If only he had listened to her.
Ginny slowly walked back to the Garden - the one place where she could escape reality. Here, she could forget that Draco had not returned to her…that their love hadn’t been enough.
Nearly blinded by tears, she tripped over a crumpled figure on the forest floor. She turned the boy onto his back to see his face, feeling the chill of his skin. She froze.
Draco’s eyes were glazed in Oblivion…he had escaped Reality by leaving it altogether.
Fury raged within her. They were supposed to have time…so much more time. Systematically, she searched for the reasons why Reality had taken such an awful turn.
She saw a scrap of cloth on the ground—a handkerchief with the embroidery PP on it. Pansy Parkinson had been here. Draco had not chosen this path for himself…it had been forced upon him. She found her letter crumpled in his hand.
She smiled. Their love had been enough. She buried him in the Garden next to another grave. She had never told Draco that this was the final resting place of Rowena Ravenclaw.
She pulled aside sprigs of lavender to reveal two graves: one old and mossy, the letters faded: another crisp and new, the epitaph magically chiseled into the slate.
The latter read,
Draco Malfoy
In Love and Light Always
1980 – 2000
Slowly, Ginny kissed the slate tombstone and turned to give a silent farewell to Rowena. After all, without her, Draco and Ginny would have never admitted their love to one another. She had given them the precious gift of time – for a short while, they had been together and in love. That was the most beautiful gift in the world.
Walking out of the Garden, Ginny sealed the Garden with the final binding words.
“Realidad Gana.” No one would ever go inside the sanctuary again.
No one would ever know what happened to Draco Malfoy…he would have liked it that way. She was sure that he would be waiting for her, just as she had promised to wait for him. In Life or Death, in reality or in its escape, they would somehow be together someday.
Ginny never married. Draco was waiting for her. When McGonagall stepped down from her position as Headmistress of Hogwarts, Ginny was asked to take the position. She had held it, now, for fifteen years. Such a long time to live without him…but it was soon to be ended.
She stopped the Sorting…it took away so many chances for children, limited their horizons and narrowed their minds. Made them restrict their young unbiased minds to the injustices of the ages.
She looked at the only picture she had of Draco Malfoy. It was a drawing she had done the Tuesday morning while she was waiting for him to find his way back to her. The look of innocent serenity on his sleeping face as sunrise warmed it was burned into her head; the drawing was the best she had ever done, in her opinion.
She looked out at the Hogwarts Grounds stretched before the Headmistress’s window, at the Garden she had created. It was the place she had created where reality was, once again, insignificant. She made her way outside the stone walls and into the Utopia. She sat on a bench surrounded by lavender, breathing in deeply and closing her eyes. The syrupy fragrance brought her back beyond reality, to that night that she would remember forever.
As she sat there, she was surrounded by him. The morning breeze was his whisper in her ear, the sunrise slipping over the horizon his beautiful silver eyes on her, and the sprigs of lavender brushing her skin his fingers stroking her hair, her cheeks, and her back.
Reality was insignificant…and he was with her. She wasn’t alone for a few minutes of her long day. She smiled radiantly and realized with a hint of nostalgia, that this was a Tuesday morning. He was waiting for her, she was sure. And she would come to him as soon as Life let her go.
While she was here, though, she could change Reality a little for the better. She had fought to give Death Eater youth a chance to redeem themselves instead of being given an automatic death penalty. After all, if Draco hadn’t found her, he would have given up and gone to the Dark Lord. Not because he believed in the Cause but because he would have had no other option. No one else had cared.
She returned to Reality as she walked up the stairs to her office. She looked at the pictures on her desk…Marcus Flint, Blaise Zabini, and countless others that, when given the chance, proved they were good people.
These faces, these lives were the legacy of their love. The purpose that kept her living.
She turned her gaze to the Order of Merlin, Third Class, sitting on a bookshelf and grimaced. In a fit of rage on the one-year anniversary of Draco’s death, she had hunted down Pansy Parkinson and killed her.
She supposed she hadn’t done anything wrong. After all, Death Eaters who had killed someone during the war were killed upon capture anyway. Draco would probably be proud that she “avenged” his death…but it still bothered her.
She had been angry enough to kill Pansy without any reason. The rationalizing had come later. The thought that she had that much anger within her was scary. But it didn’t matter any longer. Soon, she would be gone and her past here on Earth would be a distant memory.
She knew that the disease within her would kill her. Thirty years as the Hogwarts Healer and fifteen years as the Headmistress had taught her to know when she was sick. But she wouldn’t fight it even though if she did now, she could probably eradicate it altogether and live for many more years.
Draco was showing her it was time…time for over forty years of waiting to end, time to find her way back to him. She wasn’t doing anything wrong by not fighting Death.
She supposed some would think her crazy to welcome it as she did…but they hadn’t lived with their love on the other side of Life and Death.
So she waited…waited for Death to take her. Waiting for him, just like she promised so long ago.
Epilogue
She asked to be cremated and the ashes of her remains were spread in the beds of lavender of the Utopia, a garden that she had created on Hogwarts Grounds fifteen years ago.
She had been so lonely. Harry had left her behind to chase Voldemort. Ron and Hermione, of course, had gone with him. Her family was spread across the globe fighting the Dark Lord and his cronies.
She had managed to forget who Harry was in their few moments together. She had imagined that he could be there for her – stay with her. Reality kept reminding her, though, that they could not be. Not the way they were. Not the way the world was.
She had been so lonely, until she met Draco Malfoy. She smiled at the memory.
Ginny was walking along the edge of the forest. This was her first year at Hogwarts without Harry, Ron and Hermione. She missed Harry; she had no idea where he was. Suddenly, she felt an arm grasp her shoulder.
She spun around with her wand out, and gaped in surprise. Draco Malfoy, in tattered rags, was standing before her. “What do you want?” she asked.
“I need help,” Draco said, not meeting her eyes.
Ginny eyed his arm. “You have the Dark Mark. You’re a Death Eater.”
Draco grimaced. “Not anymore. I didn’t follow the Dark Lord’s orders. I didn’t kill Dumbledore. My father is furious, and the Dark Lord has named me a traitor.”
“Why should I care?”
Draco sighed. “You shouldn’t. Forget it.” He turned back to the forest.
Ginny couldn’t help feeling a twisting in her gut. He didn’t kill Dumbledore.
“Who’s going to help you, Draco?”
He laughed. “Why do you think I asked you of all people?
There’s no one else. I thought – maybe you would understand the feeling of being trapped. I guess not.”
Ginny shuddered to herself. “What are you talking about?”
Draco turned to her. “Are you kidding? Any blind fool would know how you feel about Potter; now, he’s gone. You know what I’m talking about, even if you won’t help me.”
Ginny shut her eyes tightly for a moment, fighting for control. “All right, I’ll help.”
Draco smiled.
After finishing her breakfast in the Great Hall, Ginny headed toward the edge of the Forbidden Forest for Care of Magical Creatures with Professor Grubblyplank. Hagrid and Grawp were another two noticeable missing figures from Hogwarts. They were on a mission to purify the dark Abraclavian Forests.
A person moved to the edge of the forest, shadows darkening the curves of his face. Silver eyes locked into chocolate, and she involuntarily gasped. They seemed to look inside her, to cut through the protection around her soul.
Footsteps rang behind her and he disappeared into the darkness of the forest, melding into the wilderness. She knew what to do. People stared at her as she walked up to Hagrid’s now empty hut. She wondered why.
She didn’t realize that the radiant smile that had been absent since the Trio left Hogwarts had returned. That she was wearing it while thinking of a certain boy she shouldn’t be thinking of.
After dinner that night, she made her way down to the lake and sat, arms wrapped tightly around herself as she waited. He would come, as he always did.
Sure enough, a cloak was thrown around her shoulders. Tan, strong hands tied it in place from behind. She shivered, feeling his breath on her neck.
She turned to look at the man kneeling gracefully behind her. The forest had roughened Draco Malfoy…a year of dodging attacks from both Death Eaters and the Order had matured him. He was altogether a different person from the Hogwarts student of yore.
Pale skin had tanned. The sun had darkened white blonde hair to pale blond. Shoulder-length hair had been cut short for convenience’s sake. Muscles rippled across his once-scrawny frame. He was a pampered prince no longer. But Ginny thought rough edges suited Draco Malfoy.
He pulled her away from her thoughts with his husky voice.
“Holding up alright, Ginevra?” No matter how soft his voice was, his eyes never lost their burning intensity.
She smiled weakly and said in barely a whisper, “Sure, Draco. Sit down.” She patted the ground beside her. “Have you decided yet?”
He sighed. “Gin, I can’t live like this much longer. I barely dodged an attack from my aunt Bellatrix. And yesterday, your lot came after me. Having no allegiance is proving doubly dangerous." Is it time to pick a side? If I don't pick a side can I survive?
Ginny bit back words. Part of the compromise they had made when they began speaking to one another was that they wouldn’t judge each other. But this war was the fight of their lives… and picking a side was less about ideals for Draco than about surviving until tomorrow.
“What would make you pick a side?” Ginny asked.
“If I was sure they would win, I would take their side. I would be more likely to survive the War if I fought for its winner rather than its loser.” Draco said, painfully blunt…and very Slytherin-ish.
“So which side is the winner?” asked Ginny.
Draco’s eyes flashed, “Do you think I know? I don’t like living in hiding, you know. I don’t like both sides thinking I’m on the other and trying to kill me. Being neutral is hard in this War, but I can’t decide.”
He glanced at her, and she waited for him to speak.
So he went on. “The Dark…well, I’m higher up in power and know more about it. They are also energized by fanaticism, which can make them more dangerous.”
Ginny interjected, “You’ve deflected all their attacks so far.”
Draco retorted, “Barely. And if that’s how they treat undeclared entities, I’d hate to see what they’d try on openly defiant traitors. Plus, they’re family.”
Ginny broke in again, “Family? Merlin, Draco…your father gave you the scars on your back. Don’t even try to tell me they’re little…I saw them that first night when you were practically in rags and begging me for help. They turned you out because you didn’t kill Dumbledore. Draco, you were only seventeen! Your aunt tried to kill you yesterday and your mother isn’t speaking to you. That isn’t worth anything! They don’t love you if they’d hurt you to help themselves.”
Draco shook his head adamantly. “They’re still family. Anyway, regarding the Light, things could go either way in this War. The Light has more loyalty toward one another – I don’t think anyone would betray me there. But they would never trust me, not fully.”
He turned his head to look at Ginny. Distant rumbles of thunder brought down sheets of rain. Drops clung to his eyelashes and the water soaked them both to the skin. Ginny threw off the cloak - it was no use now - and let the humid air warm her. Her clothes rippled across her skin.
“I’m so lost, Ginny,” he said quietly, his eyes boring into hers. The sheer desperation in his voice made her think thoughts she never had before.
Maybe he needed her refuge more than she did. Maybe an escape from reality would give him the guidance he needed.
She took his wet hand in hers, and silently led him into the grounds. The squeak of her shoes against the damp ground and the crackle of branches beneath their feet were the only sound as they walked.
He asked no questions. What Ginny didn’t realize was that he couldn’t…he was busy holding back damning tears.
She stopped in front of a thicket and whispered, “Realidad Insignifica.”
A hole opened in the brush and she pulled Draco through it into the meadow hidden inside. The shocked look on his face forced her to explain this secret.
She began hesitantly, unsure of her words, “This is my escape. I’ve never shown it to anyone before. Basically, it’s Rowena Ravenclaw’s secret sanctuary…you see Ravenclaw and Slytherin were alike. Slytherin created the Chamber of Secrets and Rowena created the Garden. There were secrets Rowena held that no one knew about. This was where she came to think about them and escape from reality. I don’t know why I showed this to you; maybe it could help you think.”
He looked at her and said carefully, “How do you know about all of this?”
She blurted, “I opened the Chamber five years ago.”
His eyes hazed over in confusion. “But the Chamber was Slytherin’s room…how did that tell you about Ravenclaw?”
Suddenly, he looked up at the magically spelled silver sky and his eyes began to burn again. “Slytherin and Ravenclaw were lovers, weren’t they?”
Ginny mutely nodded.
Draco asked, “Was that her secret?”
Ginny nodded again. “When Slytherin began to fight with the other Founders, Rowena created this as a haven for herself away from the arguments. When he left the school, she began spending most of her time here. It’s magical – surrounded by wards and everything. The weather is controlled, and no one can come in without the password."
Draco looked around at his surroundings. “A garden, you said…it looks like a field.”
Ginny silently took his hand again and led him through a copse of trees. In the center was a huge maze of flowers and shrubs. Dew hung thick on the plants and the air was heavy with syrupy sweet fragrance. The air was warm and moist. Their clothes clung to their skin.
Draco gracefully sat where he stood. The ground was covered with a layer of vivid petals thick as a carpet. She sat down next to him.
“This is the garden,” she said with a smile. He barely seemed to hear her.
“Merlin, Ginny, it’s beautiful,” Draco breathed. “What can I say? It’s…there aren’t words. I can’t find them, at least.”
Ginny smiled. “Thank you would probably work.” She chuckled, rich tones rolling through the air merrily.
“Thank you,” said Draco fervently. The feeling in his voice made her blush. His intense gaze and suddenly warm stormy eyes made her acutely conscious of the clothes clinging to her…of a trickle of water running down her chest to her navel…of his hand still clasping hers. She pushed those thoughts away quickly as they came.
Gently extricating her hand, she replied, “You’re welcome, Draco. You needed it as much as, if not more than I did.”
Draco barely seemed to hear her. “When do we have to leave?” he asked wistfully.
Ginny smiled. “You can stay as long as you want. I, on the other hand, need to get back to my dormitory before curfew…it’s nearly nine o’ clock already. Time for bed in Gryffindor! Night, Draco. Sweet dreams.”
Draco grew alert. “No, Ginny! Please don’t leave…I…I would like you to stay.”
Ginny looked at him perplexedly. “Why?”
Draco avoided her eyes. “Because…I – I don’t know…” He looked uncomfortable, then rebellious, as he said, “Damn it, Gin – I just want you to!”
She stood in front of him, arms crossed, the very picture of feminine irritation. “Draco, I am not going to do something just because you want me to do it. I’m not an aristocratic Slytherin girl. I actually require explanations. You aren’t a god.” Her voice burned with anger.
Draco flinched. “I’m not saying that. I don’t treat women as less. I am NOT like my father. I just…don’t want to feel alone.” He sounded ashamed.
Ginny’s eyes softened. “You’re not.” She sat back down.
Draco, however, stood up and walked away, his back to her. He laughed, terribly. “You were right. Both the Dark and the Light treat me as an outsider. Who really cares?”
Ginny walked up behind him and grabbed his shoulder, spinning him around to stare him in the eyes. For once, the fire in her eyes overwhelmed his. “I care!” she said fiercely.
Draco recoiled from her. “You can’t. You – we – you just can’t.”
Ginny looked at him scathingly. “Why not? So you can throw yourself off a cliff without second thoughts? So you can pretend that your death will be a solution to the problems? So you can stop feeling trying to believe that no one cares? Why the hell can’t I care?”
Draco’s eyes were sad. Softly, he said, “Because of who we are. The world would never let us be.”
She sighed. “Didn’t you catch the password to this place? It means Reality is Insignificant. I wouldn’t admit that I cared out in the real world…not now. But here, here I can say whatever I want. This is our sanctuary. Doesn’t your guard ever come down?”
Draco flinched again, but didn’t answer. Ginny’s anger suddenly disappeared. “I’m sorry, Draco. I – I’ve hurt you.”
He ignored her words. Looking at her hard, his eyes were a clear window into his mind when before they had been hazy. She had never seen him like this, but now he took her breath away.
Waves of emotion flowed through his face. She could barely hear him as he began to speak.
Eyes facing the floor, he whispered, “I’m so tired of being alone.”
She smiled in relief. “Well, you aren’t in here. I’m here.”
The words flowed from his mouth as if he was afraid he would stop if he thought for even a moment. “There’s one thing I don’t regret in this whole damn War, and that’s you. I would have gone crazy months ago if it wasn’t for you. When I wasn’t sure that I was worth fighting for…when it was easier to just give up and pick a side, you told me I was. You told me I should make sure I was doing what I believed in. But I was so scared of trusting you because that could kill both of us. So I still thought I was alone. But I’m not, am I? You really do care.”
Ginny whispered, “Of course I do.”
Suddenly Draco’s eyes were aflame (not the embers that they constantly were). She couldn’t pull her eyes away.
Heat rushed through her body and he slowly reached out a hand, running it over the wet cotton down the curves of her side. She let out a shaky breath, the silver consuming her.
He took a step closer and slipped his hand around her waist. She melted into him, blood rushing to the places where their bodies met and heat rushing through her veins. His other hand ran through her hair and tilted her head up to look into her eyes.
She responded to his lips descending upon hers with all the emotions she had held tight for so long. So long that she had forgotten they were even there. She did this because this is what they both needed. They couldn’t be alone any longer and survive this war. She did this because she was tired of fighting it, because she couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone else.
She barely noticed when her back touched the soft ground.
The sunlight trickled through the branches in the garden. Ginny slowly opened her eyes and felt the petals beneath her, the arms around her, and the body pressed against her back. She twisted within his hold to look up at the man she loved…the man who loved her. She looked back through her memories of that night.
They lay entangled thoroughly spent. His hands ran through her hair, stroking smoothly. She kept her eyes shut, feigning sleep as her head lay on his chest. She didn’t want to ruin the moment.
She heard his heart thudding in his chest and the gentle rise and fall of his breath. She lost herself in the silence to the rhythmic sounds as they slowly lulled her to sleep.
Just as her eyes were closing, he breathed into her hair, “I love you, Ginevra Weasley.”
Her eyes opened with a snap. Could it be just empty dreams…or had he…
“What did you say?” she asked him softly.
Draco looked startled. “I thought you were asleep,” he said quickly, avoiding her question.
She smiled. His hesitance was answer enough. “I love you too, Draco Malfoy. Don’t you ever forget it,” she whispered at him.
Relief flooded his face and the first smile (not smirk) that she had ever seen on him brightened his eyes to a radiant blue-grey. She had always thought the tight curving of his lips was his smile…but this – grin – was his smile. His eyes, right now, lit up her world.
His hand smoothed her hair back from her face as she looked up at him and ran lightly down her back. He smirked, “Well, there are ways to show love, Angel.”
She smiled mischievously, scrunching her nose at him. She pecked him on the lips, “Love you.”
He smirked at her and said, his voice husky and his eyes raging with emotion, “I was thinking on a…deeper…level.”
Any thought of teasing Draco disappeared as he showed her exactly what he was thinking of.
Ginny smiled contently, slipped out of her lover’s arms and look at his peaceful face. She walked around the garden, feeling the dew beneath her feet…seeing the sunlight play across the foliage. For a while, she was lost in this escape.
When she saw the bustle of students through the branches, however, reality came storming back and worry filled her. What had she done? She – what if Draco decided the Dark Arts held his best interests? She would be in love with a Death Eater!
She knew she couldn’t stay. This was fighting against reality…they could only win for so long before circumstances beat them. They had fought reality last night…but now it was morning and reality would win again. Escaping from reality would only work sometimes. Escape wasn’t always possible.
This had been what they both needed. She didn’t regret it. They were not alone any longer. She had her memories.
She hoped, oh so desperately, that Draco would find his way back to her…to the Order. She would wait for him, always.
The note she left was the last chance she would somehow change their reality.
Dear Draco,
Love doesn’t exist for the Dark Lord and his followers. We can only fight reality for a while…eventually we have to face it. Dark or Light, you decide our reality. But I will be waiting for you…I love you.
Ginny
Tears slipping down her face, her heart broke as she left their sanctuary. She wouldn’t be able to move on. He was the one for her. She knew that deeper than anything else.
She could only hope that he would find his way back to her. She could only pray that he felt the same way she did…that the words were not empty…that he meant them with all his heart.
Draco awoke to find a note in his hand and a hollowed out spot next to him in the petals. Slowly he read Ginny’s letter. And he realized that Ginny was the only one who cared…the only one who mattered. That he believed with all his heart in their love. If the Dark Side didn’t accept love, he couldn’t fight for them.
He ran out into the grounds, searching for her. He had to tell her that he had found what he wanted. He had found her, and that was all he needed—someone who cared.
For once, all of his guards were down. And with the Dark Lord…even one mistake was fatal. As he passed by a shadowy thicket without checking whether someone hid there, a hooded robed figure stepped out from behind him and raised its wand.
He never felt anything as his world was absorbed into a green light.
Pansy Parkinson took off her mask and stood before her love’s crumpled body, tears streaming down her face. If only he had listened to her when she pleaded with him to do what was expected of him.
She hadn’t wanted to kill him. But the Dark Lord’s will must be done. And besides, he had become loyal to another cause…the Dark Lord had broken through his mind-shields this morning and found that much out. Traitors were killed.
Pushing away thoughts of the boy she loved…the man she killed…she disappeared. Killing Draco Malfoy would put her high in the Dark Lord’s favor. She pushed away memories (again) from before the War, images of Draco’s torn eyes when he told her that he had to leave to figure out who he was before he could pledge loyalty to the Dark Lord. If only he had listened to her.
Ginny slowly walked back to the Garden - the one place where she could escape reality. Here, she could forget that Draco had not returned to her…that their love hadn’t been enough.
Nearly blinded by tears, she tripped over a crumpled figure on the forest floor. She turned the boy onto his back to see his face, feeling the chill of his skin. She froze.
Draco’s eyes were glazed in Oblivion…he had escaped Reality by leaving it altogether.
Fury raged within her. They were supposed to have time…so much more time. Systematically, she searched for the reasons why Reality had taken such an awful turn.
She saw a scrap of cloth on the ground—a handkerchief with the embroidery PP on it. Pansy Parkinson had been here. Draco had not chosen this path for himself…it had been forced upon him. She found her letter crumpled in his hand.
She smiled. Their love had been enough. She buried him in the Garden next to another grave. She had never told Draco that this was the final resting place of Rowena Ravenclaw.
She pulled aside sprigs of lavender to reveal two graves: one old and mossy, the letters faded: another crisp and new, the epitaph magically chiseled into the slate.
The latter read,
In Love and Light Always
1980 – 2000
Slowly, Ginny kissed the slate tombstone and turned to give a silent farewell to Rowena. After all, without her, Draco and Ginny would have never admitted their love to one another. She had given them the precious gift of time – for a short while, they had been together and in love. That was the most beautiful gift in the world.
Walking out of the Garden, Ginny sealed the Garden with the final binding words.
“Realidad Gana.” No one would ever go inside the sanctuary again.
No one would ever know what happened to Draco Malfoy…he would have liked it that way. She was sure that he would be waiting for her, just as she had promised to wait for him. In Life or Death, in reality or in its escape, they would somehow be together someday.
Ginny never married. Draco was waiting for her. When McGonagall stepped down from her position as Headmistress of Hogwarts, Ginny was asked to take the position. She had held it, now, for fifteen years. Such a long time to live without him…but it was soon to be ended.
She stopped the Sorting…it took away so many chances for children, limited their horizons and narrowed their minds. Made them restrict their young unbiased minds to the injustices of the ages.
She looked at the only picture she had of Draco Malfoy. It was a drawing she had done the Tuesday morning while she was waiting for him to find his way back to her. The look of innocent serenity on his sleeping face as sunrise warmed it was burned into her head; the drawing was the best she had ever done, in her opinion.
She looked out at the Hogwarts Grounds stretched before the Headmistress’s window, at the Garden she had created. It was the place she had created where reality was, once again, insignificant. She made her way outside the stone walls and into the Utopia. She sat on a bench surrounded by lavender, breathing in deeply and closing her eyes. The syrupy fragrance brought her back beyond reality, to that night that she would remember forever.
As she sat there, she was surrounded by him. The morning breeze was his whisper in her ear, the sunrise slipping over the horizon his beautiful silver eyes on her, and the sprigs of lavender brushing her skin his fingers stroking her hair, her cheeks, and her back.
Reality was insignificant…and he was with her. She wasn’t alone for a few minutes of her long day. She smiled radiantly and realized with a hint of nostalgia, that this was a Tuesday morning. He was waiting for her, she was sure. And she would come to him as soon as Life let her go.
While she was here, though, she could change Reality a little for the better. She had fought to give Death Eater youth a chance to redeem themselves instead of being given an automatic death penalty. After all, if Draco hadn’t found her, he would have given up and gone to the Dark Lord. Not because he believed in the Cause but because he would have had no other option. No one else had cared.
She returned to Reality as she walked up the stairs to her office. She looked at the pictures on her desk…Marcus Flint, Blaise Zabini, and countless others that, when given the chance, proved they were good people.
These faces, these lives were the legacy of their love. The purpose that kept her living.
She turned her gaze to the Order of Merlin, Third Class, sitting on a bookshelf and grimaced. In a fit of rage on the one-year anniversary of Draco’s death, she had hunted down Pansy Parkinson and killed her.
She supposed she hadn’t done anything wrong. After all, Death Eaters who had killed someone during the war were killed upon capture anyway. Draco would probably be proud that she “avenged” his death…but it still bothered her.
She had been angry enough to kill Pansy without any reason. The rationalizing had come later. The thought that she had that much anger within her was scary. But it didn’t matter any longer. Soon, she would be gone and her past here on Earth would be a distant memory.
She knew that the disease within her would kill her. Thirty years as the Hogwarts Healer and fifteen years as the Headmistress had taught her to know when she was sick. But she wouldn’t fight it even though if she did now, she could probably eradicate it altogether and live for many more years.
Draco was showing her it was time…time for over forty years of waiting to end, time to find her way back to him. She wasn’t doing anything wrong by not fighting Death.
She supposed some would think her crazy to welcome it as she did…but they hadn’t lived with their love on the other side of Life and Death.
So she waited…waited for Death to take her. Waiting for him, just like she promised so long ago.
She asked to be cremated and the ashes of her remains were spread in the beds of lavender of the Utopia, a garden that she had created on Hogwarts Grounds fifteen years ago.
The End.
kumydabookworm is the author of 5 other stories.
This story is a favorite of 4 members. Members who liked Sanctuary also liked 1046 other stories.
This story is a favorite of 4 members. Members who liked Sanctuary also liked 1046 other stories.
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