-Torturing Weasley at the Weekend Get-Together With the “Innocent” Twins
“Okay, here’s the plan. First we’re going to distract Ron by using his wife as bait, then…” Fred Weasley’s voice diminished as noise from the loud crowd swelled. Every redheaded person in the place was currently bustling around to make this gathering a special event. Molly Weasley mixed the salad while watching her daughters-in-law set up the main dishes under her watchful eye.
As my eyes went back and forward between my beautiful wife and her evil twin brothers, I noticed that I couldn’t help but feel more comfortable every time I went to these gatherings. I wouldn’t exactly admit my feelings to Ginny or, God forbid, her estranged brother, Ron, but I could be less cunning to Ron especially since he had saved Ginny’s life once. As a matter a fact, I would start after this one last prank. I walked over to Ginny’s evil twin brothers with a smirk on my face.
“So I heard a new prank is going to take place.”
“Whatever do you mean, Malfoy?”
“I happened to overheard your conversation and was intrigued by your cunning plan.”
“Plan? What plan?” they smiled innocently.
“You know, I overheard that the ‘Big Grant Company’ is adding new people to their business....”
“So?”
“Well, I happened to be friends with their director, and he might have thought that the ‘Weasley shop’ was one of those shops they want to add, but then again, I might have to tell them you’re not interested.”
“Malfoy, what has our sister been teaching you?” That question put a huge smirk onto my face. As I was about to open my mouth to reply, George interrupted me.
“On second thought, don’t answer that question.”
“All right, Malfoy. Drink this and go distract Ron. Make sure he gets angry enough to want to kill you.” George handed me a small bottle containing a blue liquid.
“That should be easy.” I sniffed the stuff and drank it quickly.
I walked over to Ron, who was telling his nephews a story about how he captured a Death Eater in the last minutes of the war.
“So then I caught his wrist as I ran after him. But he took me by surprise when....” Ron narrated the story with emotions that made his nephews listen intently.
“He kissed me on the mouth and surprised me with his soft and irresistible lips.” I finished his sentence with the same intense emotions that Ron had used. My nephews laughed, unlike their scowling uncle who looked as if he was about to kill me.
“Uncle Draco, did he ask Uncle Ron on a date?” asked the oldest of the group, Tyler, who was ten. The older boys laughed again, but the young ones were confused.
“Of course. He even used his witty charms to get your uncle to agree, but in the end your Uncle Ron couldn’t leave his fiancée because he was terrified of his fiancée’s temper.” I sat down with my nephews, who in turn sat on my knees.
“Malfoy, get out of here! That’s not what happened, kids, he’s lying,” Ron yelled at me. Then he noticed his brothers in the doorway making fun of him.
“Oh, Ronnikins, you’re the light of my day and the soul of my life. Be with me, leave your girlfriend, she’s mental,” Fred said in his manly voice, pretending to be in swoon over his twin brother.
“Oh, Death Eater, you’re so much better than my annoying and obsessed freak girlfriend,” George replied. They both made kissy noises and pretended to hug and kiss each other.
The crowd laughed at the twins’ display. Meanwhile, Ron scowled and stared back and forth between me and the twins, as if he couldn’t decide which person he would kill first.
“Fred, George, that is enough! Help me with the food now,” Molly ordered her misbehaving sons. The twins walked to the kitchen, sniggering openly at Ron .
“Uncle Ron,” said a tiny voice which belonged to Charlie’s second child, Dave.
“What?” Ron growled. His surly tone made Charlie rise from his seat. “Sorry there, mate,” Ron amended hastily. “What’s wrong?”
“A letter came for you from Azkaban prison,” Dave said, pronouncing the world Azkaban with difficulty as he read the front of the envelope.
“Aww, did Ronnikins get a letter from his ex-lover?” Bill asked, his other brothers sniggering.
Ron was about to yell at him, but he saw young Dave looking up at him with big eyes.
“No.,” he muttered as he began to open the envelope. But Eve, my cousin and Potter’s fiancée, grabbed it out of his hand and began to read the message aloud.
“Roses are red, violets are blue, you are cuter than Fred, when you give me a screw.” The audience laughed as they interpreted the message.
“That’s not even from McNair,” Ron argued, his ears red as tomatoes, as he took the letter from Eve.
“Oh my God, it’s McNair,” cried George, who had just come in with Fred.
“No, it’s not.”
“Tsk tsk tsk, denial is step four of a relationship, Weasley,” I said, “helping” him out.
“Malfoy, shut up.”
“What’s going on in here?” Molly yelled. The family went quiet and looked at each other, trying to hold their laughter in.
“Uncle Ron, what does screw mean?” As tiny Dave asked the question, the whole crowd let loose their laughter. Ron covered his face with his hands.
*************************************************************
-Lyndsey’s attachment to the new babysitter
I did not remember what day it was, but that was the day I wished I hadn’t introduce Lyndsey to the new babysitter. Apparently he’s as hot as a summer day in Hawaii, as my cousin and Potter’s wife Eve would say. I should have listened to Potter’s warning, but the need to shag my wife was stronger than the instinct to keep my daughter safe from evil boys, especially the ones whose hormones are raging every minute. I regret now and will every day that my innocent daughter became obsessed with the new babysitter.
At first he seemed to be a nice guy, one who would treat my children fairly and equally. I thought that little girls didn’t have crushes at a young age. Apparently I was wrong, and the days of reading “How to Keep Your Daughter Safe From Evil Boys” had become the days of reading “Eight Simple Rules for Dating My Young Daughter”. And the plan of locking her in a tower and making sure no boys would enter was out, as it would take a full ten years to build the tower.
Even my plan to get all of Ginny’s older brothers to come here and scare the hell out of the boy was ruined when she found out. Damn her intuition for knowing my evil plans. She’s too cunning to be in Gryffindor; her brothers even agreed with me on this.
So when the day came for Ricky, the babysitter, to come and watch Mark and Lyndsey, I was ready to keep my daughter away from him, but her tiny little feet were quicker than mine.
“Kitty!” she squealed in delight, raising her arms up high. Ricky picked her up and propped her on his hip. At the age of two, Lyndsey was having trouble saying his name, so she substituted Kitty instead.
“Hey there.”
“Rick, can we play Quidditch now?” said Mark, zooming up behind me. He was a growing boy at the age of four who always loved to play Quidditch.
“Sure, after we play tea-time, because I promised your sister.”
“But—”
“—I’ll be nice to my sister and will be patient the whole time,” Rick finished for him with a warning on his face.
“Fine,” Mark growled, and sat on the large sofa.
“Rick, thank you so much for watching them. I’m so sorry it’s the last minute,” Ginny said as she came to greet him with a smile. She was beautiful as always in her knee-length black dress and with her hair up.
“No problem, Mrs. Malfoy.”
“Mark, are you going to be a good boy?” Ginny asked, giving him a kiss on the head which he quickly wiped off.
“Yes.” He sighed in defeat over having to play tea-time.
“Good. Now, what about you, my little angel?” Ginny tickled Lyndsey’s side and kissed her cheek. Lyndsey laughed and struggled in Ricky’s arms, but he made sure she wouldn’t fall.
“Draco, you ready to go?” Ginny asked. I was looking at Lyndsey the whole time Ginny was talking to the kids and felt jealousy rise inside of me every time she laughed at “Kitty’s” words. I used to feel glad that Lyndsey wasn’t shy with strangers, but now I wished she was hiding behind my legs and only peeking at Ricky once in a while. Heck, I’d even be happy if she cried when Ginny and I left.
“What? Yeah, ready.” Ginny pulled me into the Floo and we went to her favourite restaurant.
I pouted the whole time, and Ginny tried to take my mind off it, even going so far as to let me touch her in public. However, I couldn’t help but think this was what boys would do with Lyndsey someday. What if they were worse than this? But such thoughts faded when Ginny’s hand traveled south of my stomach.
When we went back home, I couldn’t help going in to see my darling princess before she went to sleep. I watched as Ricky tried to make her sleep, but she wouldn’t. I saw how she was making a fuss and I wanted to hug her or even tell her that she could stay up all night. But I knew she wanted him, not me.
I remembered a week ago when she chose Ricky to open her birthday presents with. She even let him help her try on the new dress that I’d bought. I was thanked with a hug, but he got a kiss.
“Dada, bobo.” As Lyndsey stretched out her arms to show me her favourite book, Cinderella, her eyes went big and she pouted at me, which made my heart melt. Bobo was her way of saying book and I had been the first person to hear it, I reminisced.
“Ricky, you can go home now. Draco will tuck her in.” Ginny’s voice came through the doorway as I walked to my princess.
“Here you go, and thank you again for tonight.” I heard Ginny’s voice and the sound of her giving him several Galleons.
I sat down on Lyndsey’s bed. She scooted over to make room as we both laid down and I started to tell the story. When she fell asleep, I realised that even though she had a huge crush on Ricky, I would always be the one to read her favourite story to her. So Ginny was right after all, but I would never tell her.
“Okay, here’s the plan. First we’re going to distract Ron by using his wife as bait, then…” Fred Weasley’s voice diminished as noise from the loud crowd swelled. Every redheaded person in the place was currently bustling around to make this gathering a special event. Molly Weasley mixed the salad while watching her daughters-in-law set up the main dishes under her watchful eye.
As my eyes went back and forward between my beautiful wife and her evil twin brothers, I noticed that I couldn’t help but feel more comfortable every time I went to these gatherings. I wouldn’t exactly admit my feelings to Ginny or, God forbid, her estranged brother, Ron, but I could be less cunning to Ron especially since he had saved Ginny’s life once. As a matter a fact, I would start after this one last prank. I walked over to Ginny’s evil twin brothers with a smirk on my face.
“So I heard a new prank is going to take place.”
“Whatever do you mean, Malfoy?”
“I happened to overheard your conversation and was intrigued by your cunning plan.”
“Plan? What plan?” they smiled innocently.
“You know, I overheard that the ‘Big Grant Company’ is adding new people to their business....”
“So?”
“Well, I happened to be friends with their director, and he might have thought that the ‘Weasley shop’ was one of those shops they want to add, but then again, I might have to tell them you’re not interested.”
“Malfoy, what has our sister been teaching you?” That question put a huge smirk onto my face. As I was about to open my mouth to reply, George interrupted me.
“On second thought, don’t answer that question.”
“All right, Malfoy. Drink this and go distract Ron. Make sure he gets angry enough to want to kill you.” George handed me a small bottle containing a blue liquid.
“That should be easy.” I sniffed the stuff and drank it quickly.
I walked over to Ron, who was telling his nephews a story about how he captured a Death Eater in the last minutes of the war.
“So then I caught his wrist as I ran after him. But he took me by surprise when....” Ron narrated the story with emotions that made his nephews listen intently.
“He kissed me on the mouth and surprised me with his soft and irresistible lips.” I finished his sentence with the same intense emotions that Ron had used. My nephews laughed, unlike their scowling uncle who looked as if he was about to kill me.
“Uncle Draco, did he ask Uncle Ron on a date?” asked the oldest of the group, Tyler, who was ten. The older boys laughed again, but the young ones were confused.
“Of course. He even used his witty charms to get your uncle to agree, but in the end your Uncle Ron couldn’t leave his fiancée because he was terrified of his fiancée’s temper.” I sat down with my nephews, who in turn sat on my knees.
“Malfoy, get out of here! That’s not what happened, kids, he’s lying,” Ron yelled at me. Then he noticed his brothers in the doorway making fun of him.
“Oh, Ronnikins, you’re the light of my day and the soul of my life. Be with me, leave your girlfriend, she’s mental,” Fred said in his manly voice, pretending to be in swoon over his twin brother.
“Oh, Death Eater, you’re so much better than my annoying and obsessed freak girlfriend,” George replied. They both made kissy noises and pretended to hug and kiss each other.
The crowd laughed at the twins’ display. Meanwhile, Ron scowled and stared back and forth between me and the twins, as if he couldn’t decide which person he would kill first.
“Fred, George, that is enough! Help me with the food now,” Molly ordered her misbehaving sons. The twins walked to the kitchen, sniggering openly at Ron .
“Uncle Ron,” said a tiny voice which belonged to Charlie’s second child, Dave.
“What?” Ron growled. His surly tone made Charlie rise from his seat. “Sorry there, mate,” Ron amended hastily. “What’s wrong?”
“A letter came for you from Azkaban prison,” Dave said, pronouncing the world Azkaban with difficulty as he read the front of the envelope.
“Aww, did Ronnikins get a letter from his ex-lover?” Bill asked, his other brothers sniggering.
Ron was about to yell at him, but he saw young Dave looking up at him with big eyes.
“No.,” he muttered as he began to open the envelope. But Eve, my cousin and Potter’s fiancée, grabbed it out of his hand and began to read the message aloud.
“Roses are red, violets are blue, you are cuter than Fred, when you give me a screw.” The audience laughed as they interpreted the message.
“That’s not even from McNair,” Ron argued, his ears red as tomatoes, as he took the letter from Eve.
“Oh my God, it’s McNair,” cried George, who had just come in with Fred.
“No, it’s not.”
“Tsk tsk tsk, denial is step four of a relationship, Weasley,” I said, “helping” him out.
“Malfoy, shut up.”
“What’s going on in here?” Molly yelled. The family went quiet and looked at each other, trying to hold their laughter in.
“Uncle Ron, what does screw mean?” As tiny Dave asked the question, the whole crowd let loose their laughter. Ron covered his face with his hands.
*************************************************************
-Lyndsey’s attachment to the new babysitter
I did not remember what day it was, but that was the day I wished I hadn’t introduce Lyndsey to the new babysitter. Apparently he’s as hot as a summer day in Hawaii, as my cousin and Potter’s wife Eve would say. I should have listened to Potter’s warning, but the need to shag my wife was stronger than the instinct to keep my daughter safe from evil boys, especially the ones whose hormones are raging every minute. I regret now and will every day that my innocent daughter became obsessed with the new babysitter.
At first he seemed to be a nice guy, one who would treat my children fairly and equally. I thought that little girls didn’t have crushes at a young age. Apparently I was wrong, and the days of reading “How to Keep Your Daughter Safe From Evil Boys” had become the days of reading “Eight Simple Rules for Dating My Young Daughter”. And the plan of locking her in a tower and making sure no boys would enter was out, as it would take a full ten years to build the tower.
Even my plan to get all of Ginny’s older brothers to come here and scare the hell out of the boy was ruined when she found out. Damn her intuition for knowing my evil plans. She’s too cunning to be in Gryffindor; her brothers even agreed with me on this.
So when the day came for Ricky, the babysitter, to come and watch Mark and Lyndsey, I was ready to keep my daughter away from him, but her tiny little feet were quicker than mine.
“Kitty!” she squealed in delight, raising her arms up high. Ricky picked her up and propped her on his hip. At the age of two, Lyndsey was having trouble saying his name, so she substituted Kitty instead.
“Hey there.”
“Rick, can we play Quidditch now?” said Mark, zooming up behind me. He was a growing boy at the age of four who always loved to play Quidditch.
“Sure, after we play tea-time, because I promised your sister.”
“But—”
“—I’ll be nice to my sister and will be patient the whole time,” Rick finished for him with a warning on his face.
“Fine,” Mark growled, and sat on the large sofa.
“Rick, thank you so much for watching them. I’m so sorry it’s the last minute,” Ginny said as she came to greet him with a smile. She was beautiful as always in her knee-length black dress and with her hair up.
“No problem, Mrs. Malfoy.”
“Mark, are you going to be a good boy?” Ginny asked, giving him a kiss on the head which he quickly wiped off.
“Yes.” He sighed in defeat over having to play tea-time.
“Good. Now, what about you, my little angel?” Ginny tickled Lyndsey’s side and kissed her cheek. Lyndsey laughed and struggled in Ricky’s arms, but he made sure she wouldn’t fall.
“Draco, you ready to go?” Ginny asked. I was looking at Lyndsey the whole time Ginny was talking to the kids and felt jealousy rise inside of me every time she laughed at “Kitty’s” words. I used to feel glad that Lyndsey wasn’t shy with strangers, but now I wished she was hiding behind my legs and only peeking at Ricky once in a while. Heck, I’d even be happy if she cried when Ginny and I left.
“What? Yeah, ready.” Ginny pulled me into the Floo and we went to her favourite restaurant.
I pouted the whole time, and Ginny tried to take my mind off it, even going so far as to let me touch her in public. However, I couldn’t help but think this was what boys would do with Lyndsey someday. What if they were worse than this? But such thoughts faded when Ginny’s hand traveled south of my stomach.
When we went back home, I couldn’t help going in to see my darling princess before she went to sleep. I watched as Ricky tried to make her sleep, but she wouldn’t. I saw how she was making a fuss and I wanted to hug her or even tell her that she could stay up all night. But I knew she wanted him, not me.
I remembered a week ago when she chose Ricky to open her birthday presents with. She even let him help her try on the new dress that I’d bought. I was thanked with a hug, but he got a kiss.
“Dada, bobo.” As Lyndsey stretched out her arms to show me her favourite book, Cinderella, her eyes went big and she pouted at me, which made my heart melt. Bobo was her way of saying book and I had been the first person to hear it, I reminisced.
“Ricky, you can go home now. Draco will tuck her in.” Ginny’s voice came through the doorway as I walked to my princess.
“Here you go, and thank you again for tonight.” I heard Ginny’s voice and the sound of her giving him several Galleons.
I sat down on Lyndsey’s bed. She scooted over to make room as we both laid down and I started to tell the story. When she fell asleep, I realised that even though she had a huge crush on Ricky, I would always be the one to read her favourite story to her. So Ginny was right after all, but I would never tell her.
To Be Continued.
club24 is the author of 2 other stories.
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