More Than Anyone
I’m gonna love you more than anyone…
Chapter 2-What I Want“It is difficult to know at what moment love begins;
it is less difficult to know that it has begun.”
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Days passed, and Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy were on the road to being completely healed. They could now walk, and they had taken to circling the grounds of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place when they could.
Most of the patients that had stayed weeks before had gone by now, and they left no physical traces in the house, only smiles and “thank you”s for the Healers and the Healer’s helpers to remember them by. The house–elves working at Grimmauld Place had diminished somewhat in number, for they, of course, had gone with their masters when they were healed, some of whom with money had given contributions to the Order in gratitude for sheltering them and giving them protection from the evil that still lurked outside the walls of the large manor. The funds had gone into cleaning and repairing the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black and now, after being newly-repaired, it looked tastefully old. Ginny had been tipped handsomely for her work.
Ginny had become very engrossed in her work, firmly believing that the harder she worked, the more she helped, and the faster Grimmauld Place would be cleared out and they could all have their lives back. It was odd that she was eager to return to normal, when she didn’t even know what she wanted to pursue as a career. She was torn in between wanting to leave and wanting to stay.
When she wasn’t busy attending to her patients, she visited Harry and Draco until they were well again. Harry was the first to be taken out of the Hospital Wing, but his right hand was still bandaged and he was strongly discouraged to use wand magic, so the most he could do was snap his fingers to light the candles in the hall, help in cleaning Grimmauld Place (He should stop kidding himself, Ginny thought wryly, the most he did was tell a house-elf that it missed a spot, which led to a serious banging of its head and a scolding from Hermione) and entertain some of the children and, of course, Ginny.
Whenever Harry was incredibly bored, he would knock on Draco’s door and visit him. Ginny smiled to herself at the thought of the two getting along when they had spent almost seven years of their life being a severe pain in the neck to each other. Harry would even take Draco for walks. Of course, Draco would look incredibly bored and would seldom talk. The only times she saw Draco have an expression on his face were the times when Ron and Hermione would accompany them, and he’d smirk as he teased the trio. His jokes weren’t as offending as before and sometimes, Ron would even laugh while Hermione would roll her eyes, but with a smile on her lips.
Hence, Ginny found all of this rather wonderful for them they should savour the time they had left inside the manor before they were hurled outside. But at the same time, she worried about them regularly. In fact, she would just be dazed in front of Harry and Draco, sometimes looking at one of them till they tapped her on the shoulder to wake her up. Ginny could understand that feeling of loneliness as she looked at them, for she too did not know what she could do to survive. She even entertained thoughts of being in the clutches of the Dark Lord better than facing the ‘real world’ as she would refer to it for at least she had survived through that, although barely. She always worried about Harry… and guiltily, of Draco too.
She shouldn’t be guilty, she berated herself. She was looking out for a friend! Imagine being the son of a Death Eater who had died at the hands of his sister-in-law because of his Lord’s orders. It was hard to face the world, when the world was against you.
Harry, she told herself. She should return her thoughts to Harry! Harry had only one goal in life that was his utmost priority: to kill Voldemort. And now that he had accomplished his mission by perishing Voldemort, what would Harry want to be? He was against the government, although before, he had really wanted to be an Auror. But would people leave him be if he chose to be an Auror? He could also play international Quidditch; he was very good at his game. But would being a professional Quidditch player simply draw more unwanted attention from the public. Also, would the Quidditch Leagues welcome him with open arms?
Deep inside, she knew that she should think about herself first; the two boys could handle things on their own. But still, she just couldn’t. She had formed a friendship with Draco, and things were going steadily with Harry. Everything was in its proper place, everything was predictable, and she was in control. Harry made her laugh sometimes, showed her as much affection as he was capable of and it was enough, she convinced herself. It justified her love for him, she thought.
But she couldn’t stop thinking about Draco. It was as though he had implanted some sort of ticking bomb inside of her; and when a ticking bomb explodes, you have to choose one of two options: to laugh until you can’t breathe or to become so angry you can’t form a word right. Draco’s smirks that he flashed her way were always so teasing; he looked like a naughty little boy always planning something to annoy the babysitter without really having the intention of making her mad. It always made her uncomfortable because she couldn’t look him straight in the eye without blushing. And when he laughed, there was always the feeling that her heart had suddenly lightened and she was happy. It’s just that, she thought to herself desperately, it’s just that he has been through enough and I just want him to be happy!
Ginny turned a corridor and knocked on a door. There was no answer. She knocked again, louder this time. There was still no answer. She pressed her ear to the door to try and hear any sounds, but there were none. She frowned. Where could he be? Harry was eating breakfast downstairs with Hermione and Ron. There would be no one to walk with him so early.
Maybe he was still asleep. She checked the knob, and sure enough, it wasn’t locked. Draco didn’t care to lock it; he knew that only two people would enter his room: Ginny and Harry. And they both always knocked and waited for him to let them in before they walked in. He felt perfectly secure in not locking the door.
But he did lock the door when he wasn’t inside.
I just want to check on him, Ginny told herself reasonably, so she turned the knob and walked in. She peered from right to left, but no one was inside.
“How peculiar,” she whispered to herself, letting herself in to look around. She closed the door gently so that it didn’t make a sound. She had her wand out just in case.
“What are you doing here?” someone hissed close to her ear, making her jump and turn around, her wand drawn and ready to shoot curses, making the person back away a long stride. “Bloody hell!” the voice swore.
Ginny blinked and realised it wasn’t an intruder. It was Draco. He had probably just emerged from the bathroom. He only had his pants on, since he was applying Healing Potions to his wounds. She knew this because he was holding the round container which had the two potions inside.
“Uhm, sorry, Draco,” she stammered. He raised an eyebrow. “I was here to check up on you.” He shrugged, raising his arms as he did so. He looked so brooding suddenly that she wondered if there was something wrong. “You need some help with that?”
With a grieved sigh, he sat down on the edge of his bed and handed the container to Ginny. The container had a separator in the middle so that the two potions wouldn’t mix. Ginny sat down behind him and started to apply the first potion on his wounds.
“These will scar; you won’t be able to make them vanish,” she informed him. She knew that he already knew that, but she wanted to remind him. He didn’t reply and she found nothing else to say. “There, all done,” Ginny said when she had finished.
Draco muttered ‘thank you’ while Ginny was trying to find the cover of the container. She twisted it closed and headed for the door, not bothering to look at Draco at all. “Come on, Draco, breakfast is ready.”
“As much as you want me to strut outside half-naked, it’s freezing there and I would like to cover up,” Draco said in his usual sarcastic tone. Ginny turned to him and blushed.
“S-sorry, I’ll turn around so you can have some privacy,” she said, turning her head back. He made a huffing sound that made her turn her head to look at him.
“Don’t bother, there’s nothing left to show you of my chest that you haven’t seen. Unless there’s another part of me you want to see.”
He winked. He WINKED.
“Draco Malfoy! Do you really find it so amusing to annoy me?” she demanded, her hands on her hips once again. He was quickly putting on a top as she continued to nag at him. When she finished (twirling her hands and waving them around and not really paying attention to him at all), he was already dressed and was looking at her in a…
He was wearing corduroy pants and a black long-sleeved turtle-neck. Whatever she was going to add to her statement died on her lips and her lower jaw wouldn’t connect with her upper jaw.
Draco smiled softly and walked closer to Ginny. He stretched his hand and gently tapped up Ginny’s lower jaw so that her mouth would close. “I’m that handsome, huh?”
“You are so insufferable,” she said through gritted teeth and moved to go, but Draco held her upper arms, chuckling as he pulled her towards him. However, because of her insistent twitching, he let go of her... She crashed into his chest with an ‘oof’ from him and just when she thought they’d fall, he held on to her forearms. It turned out he was sturdier than she’d thought.
“Weasley! Honestly! I was just kidding.” Draco sounded a bit irritated, but didn’t make a move to remove her from his chest. She moved away on her own and crossed her arms below her chest.
“Well, if you’d stop annoying me, I wouldn’t be angry, now, would I?” she said, irritated. It infuriated her more that the only gesture he made was to smirk; he didn’t even bother to reply.
Draco looked at the door and put a hand to his stomach as if trying to remember something. “I’m hungry,” he said, grabbed his brown camel-hair jacket (That probably cost a fortune, what a show-off, Ginny thought) and put it on, then started to open the door, completely ignoring Ginny.
“Hey!” Ginny called. Draco turned to her, as if just suddenly realising that Ginny was there, and left the door open, letting Ginny come out first. She grumbled a bit, but walked silently down the stairs.
“What’s for breakfast?” he asked.
She shrugged, pushing away her locks of hair and brushing imaginary flecks of dirt off the scarlet velvet jacket she had thrown over her white shirt. “Let’s just see if there’s some left. Honestly, if we didn’t bicker we’d have caught Harry and the others.”
“A chap’s got to dress,” he said, folding his elbows and raising his hands as he shrugged. “I know that you’d rather have me naked out there, but Gin—” Ginny slapped his arm playfully and they quickly walked down the steps and into the kitchen.
“Oi!” Ron called out to them, waving his arm. Hermione and Harry also waved at them, smiling. They were walking towards the corner leading to the doors of Grimmauld Place. “We’re checking the grounds outside!”
Harry jogged up to Ginny. “We’ll be back this evening.” He smiled fondly at her as she righted his glasses, which had gone askew.
Ginny saw, from the corner of her eyes, Draco blow his cheeks as though it would burst with vomit at their show of affection. “See you, then.” Harry pecked her cheek and jogged towards Ron and Hermione, who had already opened the large doors, and the doors automatically shut tight when they went through it.
“Bye, honey bunny,” Draco drawled in a bored tone.
“I don’t call Harry that,” she told him.
Draco raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. “You didn’t know?” he asked her innocently. She didn’t buy it for a second. Instead, she started to walk towards one of the longer tables that still had some recognisable food left, Draco on her heels. “That’s what Harry and I call each other.” He smirked as she laughed.
“If I had been drinking pumpkin juice, I would have accidentally spat it on your expensive clothes,” she said sweetly.
Draco looked disgusted as they sat down opposite each other. “Why on my clothes?”
“Accidentally being the keyword.”
“That’s rather hard to believe,” he muttered to himself.
“What was that?” she asked sweetly, her forked hoisted up in a very suggestive manner of pain. He wasn’t intimidated at all. His lips twitched into a smirk.
OxOxOxOxO
“What are we going to buy again?” Ron asked Harry curiously. There was a smiling playing on Harry’s lips and both of his best friends looked at him in content because he was finally at peace with himself. He looked so… free. He had his shoulders back and his hands were in his pockets in a carefree way.He was in love and it was joy to him that he was free to love without the responsibility that it would be his fault if the person he chose to love got hurt.
“Just a small token,” he said mysteriously.
“For whom?”
“I’m guessing Ginny,” Hermione laughed. “You two look perfect together,” she complimented.
“Yeah, mate,” Ron said, putting his arm over his friend’s shoulders. “Then we’d be really brothers! You’ll be part of the family!” They both grinned lopsidedly.
“And what about me?” Hermione asked, her eyebrow arched. Her bushy hair was getting frizzled in the November cold.
Ron put his other arm over her shoulders and kissed her cheek, making her blush. “Well, when we get married, you’ll also be part of the family!” The way Ron had said it, it sounded so natural, like the birds flying up in the air.
“And we’ll still be together,” Harry added.
Their friendship was going to last forever. This bond with friends was stronger than most had and not something most would find in their lives. Harry was very lucky to have them. Even though he had lost people he loved, like Sirius and Dumbledore, and people who had been taken away from him even before he got to know them and love them better, like his parents, there would always be two people he could depend on. And a girl he’d always love. With that, he was content.
OxOxOxOxO
“Stop throwing snow balls!” Ginny giggled, throwing one of her own towards a tall pine tree which Draco was hiding behind.“Ha! Sore loser!” Draco called out, throwing another one that hit the tree Ginny was using as a shield with a ‘thump’.
They had been at it a few minutes after eating lunch. Draco wanted to walk and Ginny wanted some fresh air, so they both thought it would be nice to be out of the stuffy manor that housed many sick people and smelled like melting wax from candles.
Draco had shaped a snow ball while Ginny had looked on curiously. Draco had looked at her slyly and she had instantly started running. He had thrown the ball and almost got her, but she had run inside the forest. He had gone after her and narrowly dodged a snow ball. They had been throwing snow balls ever since.
Draco quickly moved to another tree. Ginny shot a snow ball and it hit his shoulder. He swore and she laughed. “Sore loser!” she taunted.
So this is how she wants to play, he thought to himself, smiling mischievously. He didn’t grin in that evil sort of way anymore, unless of course, if it were to manipulate someone he didn’t like. He sneaked from tree to tree, quickly moving with cat-like stealth until he was a tree away from Ginny.
Ginny grew suspicious and peeked out, not knowing that her lapse of judgement would result in her getting caught. She was pulled by her knees to the snowy ground, making her emit a squeal of surprise.
Before she knew it, she was pinned to the ground, her hands on either side of her head where Draco held them with his hands and his knees at the sides of her stomach. She giggled at her predicament and Draco shared her mirth.
“Looks like I win,” he informed her, his face barely inches away from hers. His skin was so fair and his lips so rosy pink, she didn’t know how he pulled it off so nicely. He had no blemishes to speak of on his face, and his eyes seemed to dance with amusement directed at her.
For a moment, they just stayed in that position, then Ginny’s face turned red and she turned her face to the side to avoid eye contact with Draco. “All right, you win. Now let me up.”
He shook his head and made a tutting sound. “Not so fast. I have to claim my prize first.”
Ginny looked at him questioningly, her eyes so expressive, framed by thick dark-red lashes that looked brown. From this point of view, he could see every freckle splashed on her face. There were freckles on her nose and cheeks that looked almost invisible when cast in his head’s shadow. He thought they were adorable.
He was nose-to-nose with her. She closed her eyes, her lips parting slightly. He knew it was subconscious. He breathed out through his mouth, warming her face with his breath and lowered his face slightly, closing his eyes and brushing on her lips, closing briefly on her lower lip so quickly it was like a mere wisp of the wind.
She opened her eyes automatically. She was breathing hard and when what he had just done sunk in, Draco quickly pushed himself away, staggering slightly, looking at the ground and panting slightly. Bloody hell. They had made a big mistake.
“I’m sorry,” he blurted out without thinking. He didn’t mean it, but he hoped he sounded sincere enough. He wasn’t sorry he had brushed lips with Ginny. Her lips were so soft; it was small, plump flesh he didn’t mind nibbling on. He mentally slapped himself for even thinking of that at a crucial time like this! When Ginny might Avada Kedavra him and send him straight to his maker—whether his maker lived above or below.
Ginny pressed her fingers to her lips, drawing Draco’s eyes to them. She nodded her head, dazed. “I-it’s all right.”
“This won’t happen again,” he swore.
Ginny shook her head slowly, her breath still ragged. “You shouldn’t say that. Because whenever someone says that,” she raised her eyes to look at him, her brown eyes full of conflicting emotions, “it always happens again.”
OxOxOxOxO
“I’m going to that store.” Harry pointed to the store boasting of beautiful trinkets and jewellery.“You’re not proposing to my sister are you?” Ron demanded. He was best friends with Harry, but he’d be damned if he let his sister be tied down at the age of seventeen. Hell, she’d be doing it before everyone in the family except for Bill!
Harry laughed at the wild notion of Ron’s. He shook his head. “That’s absurd, Ron. I’m not ready to be married yet! I don’t even have a job!”
Ron huffed. “I’m letting you off the hook easy, Harry, because you’re my best mate. Anyway, if you hurt my sister or marry her before I get married then I shall be very cross with you. In fact, I just might hit your nose!”
“You’ll hit a chap with glasses?” Harry raised an eyebrow, his green eyes twinkling in amusement.
“Of course not, mate! I’ll let you remove them first!”
“How sensible of both of you,” Hermione chipping in to the conversation, tired of being left out.
“Yes, you taught us well,” Ron said, grinning madly, making Harry laugh and clutch at his stomach.
Hermione shook her head, but she was grinning. She told the boys that she would do a bit of shopping on her own and that she would leave them on their own devices, promising to meet them at the Leaky Cauldron when she is done.
“I’m going to buy myself a supply of Butterbeer. I’m still quite addicted to the stuff,” Ron told Harry.
“Okay then. I guess I’ll meet you in the Leaky Cauldron too. And Ron…” Ron, who was already walking away, turned to listen to whatever Harry was going to say. Harry smiled tentatively. “I promise I’ll do my best not to hurt Ginny in any way.”
Ron grinned cheerily and waved goodbye. Harry did the same and went off to the shop to buy Ginny a gift.
OxOxOxOxO
“It won’t,” he swore, “happen again.”Ginny looked away. “Of course, I won’t let it happen once more.”
Draco eyes narrowed. “I’m sorry that I caused you such an experience,” he said, so coldly that Ginny felt as if she had been put into a pentacle and frozen with a command. “I hope it will not cause nightmares when you sleep.”
She closed her eyes. Nightmares would be the least of her problems. In fact, she’d welcome them more than seeing his face every time she closed her eyes, and wanting to brush lips with him again. Or even more.
“It’s getting colder,” she said abruptly. “I’m leaving.”
“Are you sure it’s the temperature?” he asked snidely. “And are you sure it’s not the other way around?”
“Would you please just drop it?” she hissed. Couldn’t he see that it was hard for her too? But looking at his face, Ginny saw that he was too riled up suddenly to care.
“Why? Afraid that Potter might hear it?” he taunted.
She whipped herself around to face him, hoping her gaze had burnt him when he took a backward step. “Yes. Because unlike you, I don’t make it a point to hurt the people I care for.”
“What makes you think I hurt the people I care for?” Draco whispered coldly as she turned her back. If it had been cold moments before, well, it was certainly freezing now. “You don’t even know me. Don’t be so quick in passing judgement, Weasley.”
The way he had said it, it seemed to Ginny as if the past few weeks they had shared were fake memories. They felt non-existent, and the snowball fight and kiss felt as if they had been light years ago… A tear trickled down her cheek and she turned her face to the side where there were no tears, unwilling for him to see a sign of weakness. She didn’t want him to see that he had hurt her.
With that, she left, hoping that he felt as rotten as he was acting towards her. She heard him kick the snowy ground and swear ‘bloody hell’ for some reason.
OxOxOxOxO
When Draco kicked the ground, some of the snow flew to his warm face, making him swear.He glared at Ginny’s retreating back. In the back of his mind, a part of him nagged at him to go after her and apologise, but he felt so enraged that he just couldn’t muster up the humility to do so.
He had never declared himself a gentleman and felt no responsibility whatsoever to her. No matter how kind and caring she was to him, he chalked it up as being ‘her job’ to help heal him.
He put his numb hands inside his pockets, hoping in vain that they would warm up a bit inside there. Draco started to walk in the opposite direction to another path that led inside Grimmauld Place, far from Ginny.
His face was stoic, making it impossible for anyone who passed him by to guess what was wrong with him, so they concluded it was just natural for him to be all brooding.
But in his mind, he was thinking angrily.
Oh, it surely wouldn’t happen again. He didn’t want anything to do with Potter’s girl. She was just another speck of dirt on his shoe.
And he made it a point to throw away his dirty shoes.
OxOxOxOxO
It was around dinner time when Harry, Ron and Hermione got back from where they had gone off to. They waved at Ginny and Draco, who were beside each other, but very far apart, to save them a seat. Ginny nodded distractedly and Draco didn’t do anything at all.“What’s up with the ferret?” Ron asked Hermione, elbowing her hard, irritating her.
“How should I know? I was with you all the time!” she snapped.
“What’s up with you?” he demanded, irked.
Hermione just rolled her eyes, thinking nothing of it anymore, leaving Ron and Harry to themselves. Ron turned to Harry, who shook his head and shrugged, confused.
“Don’t ask me,” Harry said.
Harry and Ron shared a room and quickly showered and changed. When they were done, they knocked on Hermione’s door, but there was no answer. The door was locked, which meant that if Hermione had been there, she wasn’t there now.
Harry sat beside Ginny, who was quietly playing with her food with her fork. She looked deep in thought, and Draco was very quiet. Hermione was already seated when they got there, opposite Draco. Ron sat beside her, but there was a big space between them.
They ate in awkward silence, but Draco and Ginny seemed not to notice anything wrong with their surroundings as they both looked at their food. “Is something wrong?” Harry asked, confused and concerned. Ginny stiffened slightly but relaxed quickly as she told him with a forced small smile that there wasn’t. Ginny had been used to acting to get what she wanted, since she had six brothers to teach her. But Harry could still easily identify when Ginny was outright lying.
“Can we talk after dinner?” Harry whispered in her ear.
“What for, Harry?” she asked him, a gentle questioning look readable in her eyes.
“I’ll tell you after dinner,” he said firmly and Ginny didn’t prod like she usually did, which really did worry Harry.
OxOxOxOxO
Hermione’s eyes darted from Ginny to Draco and then to Harry. There was something up with Draco and Ginny, her gut feeling told her so, and Harry was clueless. She looked at Ron, who seemed oblivious to everything around him and just kept on stuffing his face with food like a starved boy.From Draco’s gestures, it was easy to observe that he was agitated. His long, tapered fingers constantly tapped the table as he speared his carrot over and over again, never once bringing it to his lips. She was familiar with the hand-tapping gesture. She always observed it from her parents’ patients.
Her parents were dentists and sometimes, she would visit them in the clinic and just watch them work. People of all ages would sit there in the dentist chair, their gazes darting anxiously from one corner to another and their fingers tapping the arms of the chair until her mum or her dad would step on the lever and lift the patient up and they’d clutch on the chair’s arm as if for dear life.
Why Draco was acting this way, she didn’t know. After spending some weeks with him, she realised he wasn’t much of a bad person at all. It was just that… his humour put her out because she wasn’t used to his jokes. They lived in different circles of society and one’s polite jokes could be rude for another.
It wasn’t long before Draco was able to give them snippets of information about himself. Something odd here and there: for instance, he was very touchy about what kind of utensils to use for what. He frowned at Ginny whenever she used the soup spoon for eating anything other than soup and sneered at Ron when he used his fingers to eat a slice of pizza.
But it was Ginny who really made him open up. Hermione didn’t know what they shared and talked about when they had their conversations, but she knew it got to Draco and put him in better moods than he was known for back in Hogwarts.
Maybe I should get a conversation going, she thought to herself and propped her hands on the table to brace herself. No one seemed to have noticed that she had moved at all, for no one raised their head. She raised her chin, ignoring it.
“You’re name’s Latin; do you know how to speak in Latin, Malfoy?” Stupid question, she readily admitted, but it was the first one she dared try.
Because she was never one to be the first to speak to Draco Malfoy (it almost always began with him teasing her), Draco looked at her with an eyebrow raised as though her hair had suddenly got larger and transformed into a gigantic sponge on her head – the expression wasn’t necessarily indicating that he was surprised by her question; more of taken-aback at the sudden start of a conversation.
Ron momentarily looked up from his food and chewed, looking at her funnily and asked with concern, “Are you all right, ‘Mione?” He waited for her to nod before going back to his food. Even Ginny, who looked so out of it, shot her a questioning glance.
It was a long time before Draco replied, making Hermione think he had decided to ignore her and probably, he almost did. “Sort of. I know some words I can string into sentences.”
She inwardly breathed a sigh of relief, hoping after this insane topic, she could ask what was bothering him. “Can you give an example?”
He seemed to be thinking before he spoke, “Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est.”
“Which means?”
“Yes, that is a very large amount of corn,” Draco translated with a straight face.
Harry, who was drinking at the time, almost spat out his drink. Ron looked up again, this time looking straight at Malfoy. He gave the impression of a person about to shed light on the matter, which was why it disappointed them all when all he said was, “We don’t need a lot of corn.”
“Nice deduction, Weasley, perhaps next time you can tell me that Snape tie-dyes his underwear in shades of green,” Draco drawled in a bored tone.
Hermione looked impatiently at Ron, who was about to retort, then back again to Draco. “Anything else?” she asked quickly to cut Ron off. Ron looked indignant but after a quickly flash of pleading from Hermione, grudgingly returned to his food.
Draco finally brought his fork to his mouth and chewed slowly. He was like every other aristocrat, taught how to chew so discreetly, you wouldn’t notice his mouth moving if you didn’t observe him for a while. “De inimico non loquaris sed cogites.”
“And what—”
“Don’t wish ill for your enemy; plan it.” He cut Hermione off, translating it.
“That one’s good,” Harry commented, using his fork and his spoon to cut the meat in half.
Draco turned to him with a cold look on his passive face, eyebrow raised again. “You think so? My father taught me that one.”
Ron coughed. Ginny quickly glanced with concern at Draco then stared back at her plate. Harry, who was about to pop the meat dipped in mashed potatoes in his mouth, looked so guilty and mumbled an apology. All through this, Hermione was a spectator, feeling helpless that she couldn’t do anything to make whatever was damaged better.
The conversation had never really started when it already stopped.
OxOxOxOxO
They were on the balcony. Ginny hugged herself to keep warm. Harry saw how uncomfortable she was in the cold and put his cloak over her shoulders.“Thanks,” Ginny said gratefully. “So what did you want to talk about?”
Harry looked over the balcony to the field of green grass and tall trees with rosebushes and several other flowers decoratively placed in different places. “First, I want to know if you’re all right.”
Ginny nodded, a faraway look on her face. “I am,” she whispered softly.
Harry couldn’t accept this, but hoped fervently that what he was going to give Ginny would make her feel better. He searched his pocket for the gift and when he produced it, he showed it to Ginny. “I got you a gift,” he smiled shyly.
Ginny looked at it, startled. Her cheeks became red suddenly and there was a smile she tried hard to conceal. “Oh, Harry! What for?”
He shrugged. “A token.” He opened the small velvet box and she drew her breath when she saw it. The necklace was real silver that shone in the moonlight and the pendant was also silver, but encrusted with Swarovski crystals in form of a heart. She didn’t know what to say. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She shook her head in disbelief. She had never been given anything so beautiful in her life! Her family were not well-to-do, and her idea of gifts was chocolate frogs and prank toys and hand-knitted sweaters. She never dreamed of receiving something so grand like a necklace like this! Well, not before her engagement or wedding ring, of course.
Something flashed through her brain: a flashback of what had transpired in the woods just hours ago, and she guiltily looked away from the precious gift.
Harry frowned, misinterpreting her suddenly uneasiness for disdain of his gift. “Don’t you like it?” he asked worriedly. When he had seen it on the glass shelf, shimmering and beautiful, he had known he had to buy it for Ginny. He wouldn’t forgive himself if he didn’t. He had spent a lot of money for it, but it was well worth it if it could make Ginny happy.
“I love it,” she gasped. But a depressed expression came upon her face and etched itself onto it. “But I can’t take it.”
“Why not?” Harry wanted to know.
“Because,” she sighed, “it costs too much, Harry. I’ve never imagined being given a gift so grand in my life!” she exclaimed. She ran her fingers over the balcony railing gently. She couldn’t say that after what had happened in the forest, the last thing she wanted to get from Harry was wonderful gift.
“I bought it for you! Take it.” He was handing it to her, growing exasperated when Ginny continually refused. What was her problem? “The money, I know it’s for my future and all, but I have told myself a long time ago that I will not depend on the money my parents had! I will make something of myself by myself!”
“Harry, I’m really sorry,” Ginny started. “You spent so much for it. You might not have money to spend for yourself!” She looked away. “I’m here for you, Harry, but you know I’m not well-to-do. I can’t support you. You have to rely on your resources to survive. You shouldn’t use your money for the future on gifts for me.”
There was a long silence. Ginny didn’t know what to do. Harry’s face suddenly closed and there wasn’t any emotion readable in his face. All of a sudden, he was stony and unreachable, just as he had been years before. It made Ginny’s heart ache.
“Before I discovered Hogwarts,” he gulped, turning to face the railing and resting his palms there, putting his weight on his arms. The necklace was between his hands and he paid it no heed. He was in a faraway place, somewhere Ginny couldn’t quite reach him. “I never had any money of my own. My only relatives—the Dursleys are not the most charitable kind of people. My clothes were all old, those which couldn’t fit my cousin Dudley anymore. I was lucky if I got something useful when I celebrated birthdays.” At this, he smiled bitterly, daring to take a peek at Ginny, who stood still, frozen, her eyes so sympathetic and glistening, Harry thought it was because of the night, that it was playing tricks on her eyes. “Who am I kidding? The most I got was a pair of very large socks I could probably fit my whole body inside.
“I slept inside a cupboard for ten years of my life,” he sighed. “I envied those people who would tell me how wonderful their relatives were. I used to think that maybe my parents had done something… something so bad to the Dursleys that made them hate me… it destroyed me to know a few years after that the only reason they hated me was because of what my parents were: magic-capable people. They were different, which meant that I was different. They resented me for it. And every year, I would think to myself, when I grew up, I wouldn’t depend on anybody’s money. I wouldn’t have to wait for ‘works of charity’ from Dudley to have clothes. I would make my own money and they’d see… they’d see I’m not worthless after all.”
She then knew that she had it way easier than he had, because even though they were poor, she was loved and what Harry had been through was worse than anything she ever had. In retrospect, he was poorer than she was.
Ginny was crying now; her hands came up to cover he face so that Harry wouldn’t see her crying. His glasses reflected the light so she was unable to see his eyes. She slowly made her way closer to him, and embraced him tightly from behind, letting her tears shake her whole frame. As much as she wanted to do something, she was powerless. She couldn’t do anything. She couldn’t make all this go away and it crushed her to realise that all she could do was comfort him. Make him feel that those were just nightmares and that now, now finally everything was all right.
She knew then that she couldn’t do anything to hurt this boy: this boy who had given up very much but had been given very little in return. She didn’t want him to feel more anguish than he already had. It wouldn’t be fair to him… and if she had to give up some things to make him happy, then she would. Because he deserved more than what he had been given…
“I’m so sorry, Harry,” she said in between sobs. He was slowly turning to face her, to comfort her. He felt bad because he had made her cry. He held her head to his chest, letting it rest there, his other hand stroking her soothingly. “I-I’ll accept your gift.”
“I’m sorry I’m imposing myself on you. I just thought that,” he said helplessly, “I just thought that it would make you happy.”
“It does.” She gave him a watery smile. “Thank you so much, Harry.”
“I love you, Ginny,” he said softly and kissed the crown of her head.
She closed her eyes tight, pushing away the pictures in her head of Draco. She couldn’t do this to Harry. She couldn’t bring herself to hurt him. And, she admitted to herself, she was afraid of being hurt too…
She buried her face closer to his chest, eyes closed tight as she muttered, “I love you too, Harry.”
OxOxOxOxO
The day when Harry and Draco were completely healed had finally come. Harry had a choice to stay; in fact, it was his house. Draco, of course, would be welcome to stay, but he opted not to.“I have a mother who needs me,” he told Harry.
“Well, I owe you my life, Draco,” Harry reminded him. “If ever you need the favour or want something of mine to repay it, you can ask for it and it’s yours.”
“Hardly,” Draco scoffed. “I can’t think of anything that I can get from you, Potter, which I can’t get on my own.”
Harry smiled a bit. “It’s Harry.”
“Nah, I prefer Potter to Harry,” Draco smirked. Harry knew this was so. It wasn’t because Draco had a grudge he kept for Harry until now. It was sort of a remembrance of who he had been before this war and who he had become after. He was a man of his own making, not a mould of his parents, nor of Voldemort’s. He was who he was because it was who he chose to be.
“Suit yourself, mate. You’re always welcome here at Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place,” Harry said warmly.
“And you’re always welcome to crash at Malfoy Manor if you want to get away from this stuffy place and go to an even stuffier place. At least we have more house-elves to spare.”
“Bye, mate,” Harry said, laughing, and closed the door of Draco’s room behind him as he went. Draco sighed and continued his packing.
OxOxOxOxO
When he was done, he walked around Grimmauld Place until he was sure that what it looked like and what it had served for him would always be in his memory. He came upon a hall he remembered clearly and found himself face-to-face with a door to a room.He drew his fist up to knock, but he was hesitant to do so. Was she inside? What would she say if she found him there? They hadn’t talked after the incident in the forest and he wasn’t really up to talking and explaining his actions. There wasn’t anything to explain, really. He was curious about what it felt like to brush lips with her, to know what it felt like to be in such close proximity with the flame-haired vixen he grudgingly admitted he admired.
But before he had summoned the courage to knock, a voice called out to him from behind.
“Draco,” it said, not a question but a statement. He turned around to see the freckled, nervous, smiling face of the person he had actually come to see.
“Hullo, Ginny.” He nodded in acknowledgement, clutching his baggage tighter. His mother had sent him clothes when he stayed at Grimmauld Place. She hadn’t been able to visit him, for she was busy with keeping Malfoy Manor whole while the Ministry tried its best to pry into it. Naturally, most of the people who had been sent were paid handsomely to not complete their jobs. But Narcissa saw to it that there were few reminders left of their dark past. His mother was ready to move on, as well as he. She said that nothing really mattered to her more than him.
Ginny looked tentatively at the ground before peeking up at him through her thick lashes. “So you’re leaving, then?” She knew it was so, but she just had to hear it for herself before she knew it was real.
He nodded. “Yes.”
“And you came to say goodbye?”
“Right.”
“Well then.” She smiled as best as she could and came closer to him so that they were only inches apart. “Goodbye, Draco.”
“Goodbye, Ginny.” He said it in a way that made it sound as if it was hard for him to say it.
“We’ll see each other again, won’t we?” Her eyes were hopeful, and Draco dared hope that it pleasured her to be in his company.
“It is hard to stay away from such a handsome fellow like myself,” he smirked and she rolled her eyes, but laughed nonetheless.
“Yes, I shall miss your irksome presence,” she teased.
“And I will surely miss your chatty ways,” he shot back.
“Well, someone has to talk,” she defended, unconsciously pouting.
“Face it: you can’t stand it when you can’t hear my voice. It sends chills up and down your spine whenever you hear me speak.” He had blurted it accidentally. It was a joke, of course. But she looked so taken aback that he thought otherwise.
Her blush was a tell-tale to what she was thinking, and she looked away stubbornly. “Don’t be ridiculous, Malfoy. The only reason keeping me from strangling you is because you were wounded.”
“Goes with the virtue and the general rule that you don’t hit a chap with glasses,” he nodded wisely.
Her mouth twitched upwards. “Quite right, but I also remember you punching Harry in the face when you just started out in the Order.”
“We were young, and he looked stupid. Still does, if you ask me,” he told her, ignoring her frown. But then she smiled at him in that way of hers and he instantly forgot what they were talking about. It was long before he could think of anything else to say.
“Well then,” he said finally. “It’s best I get going. Malfoy Manor is far and the journey is long.”
“Why don’t you just Apparate?” she frowned.
“You cannot Apparate out of Grimmauld Place; you can only Apparate within its grounds to another part of its holdings. You also can’t Apparate to Malfoy Manor or to our village. You can Apparate out, but not in.”
“You own a village?”
“I guess it goes with the Manor. Like a bonus deal of some sort.”
“Well, okay then.” She shrugged. “But don’t I get a hug before you leave?” she asked.
“Of course you do,” Draco said, sweeping her off her feet and safe into his arms. She felt warm and soft, her figure moulding itself with his until it felt as though they were one person, not two individuals. It felt so right to hold her in his arms. He wanted to protect her, wanted to be with her always. He could imagine waking up beside her with a warm smile on his lips and the thought that he’d never have another if she was the only person he was allowed to love.
“Take care of yourself, Weasley,” Draco murmured into her hair.
“Always play nice, Malfoy.”
“Ah, such a difficult thing to ask from the likes of me.”
“I’m quite sure you can manage.”
“Hopefully not.”
That made Ginny laugh. Draco couldn’t take his eyes off her. He was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. She was unique, and he always asked himself why he hadn’t taken more notice of her back in Hogwarts. He knew the answer to that question, but he refused to look back once again.
There would always be qualities and attitudes that would never be erased in Draco Malfoy, for these qualities and attitudes were what made him unique, and who he was. No matter how insufferable he was, or cocky most of the time, he couldn’t imagine himself being anything else, and frankly, he didn’t want to be anything other than what he had grown accustomed to being.
But now he had a loyalty to the Order. He now had a clear view of what is right and what is wrong and he knew better now than to play with fire so as not to be burned. He didn’t want to have a master any longer. He would live his life and make actions as he pleased.
“Please don’t look at me like that,” Ginny suddenly said, obviously catching him in the act.
OxOxOxOxO
“Like what?” He feigned innocence, putting his hands inside his pockets.Ginny looked at him for a while. There was something in her eyes that suggested a longing to speak, but she did not utter a word for a long time. When she did speak, she offered her hand for a handshake.
“We should part not as enemies, but as friends.”
“We were never enemies,” Draco pointed out, hands still in his pockets. He realized this was true; even in school, when their families were at odds, he had never actually thought of her as ‘the enemy’.
“True, but it seemed a nice thing to say.”
Draco’s lips quirked up at the side, but not fully into a smirk. “If you say so.” He took his hand out and shook her hand firmly.
His hands were soft and smooth, very unlike hers or Harry’s. They were not even calloused by severe Quidditch training, or if they had been, they must have been smoothed out from his palms. They were hands that truly belonged to the upper crust world. A socialite’s hand that had never had to experience manual labour, never experienced hardship to survive, for everything was given to them. He was not an abused child as some might have thought. It was the way he had been brought up that made him the way he was. His morals were pounded into his brain, and probably into his heart, since birth.
“You can let go of my hand now, Ginny.” He said it the way a teacher would persuade a petulant child to go back inside a classroom: gentle, with a hint of amusement.
She quickly pulled her arm away, but she was still clutching at his hand; his eyebrow arched at her puzzling behaviour. She let go as fast as she could, burning the colour of ripe tomato. “Ah, oh, sorry,” she mumbled, looking at the ground.
Draco patted her bowed head and started walking away, towards the stairs. She looked up and as if he saw or felt her look, he raised his hand and saluted her casually with two fingers, not looking back.
It made her smile. She hoped that he’d finally find the solace he deserved outside of this makeshift sanctuary. She prayed fervently to whatever gods she knew to protect him always and not let much harm happen to him.
When she could no longer see his lean, slender figure, she sighed and muttered an incantation to open her door. She turned the knob, but didn’t go inside. She rested her head for a while against the door, her hand pulling it to balance her, head lowered as she put a hand inches away from her face. She was surprised to feel drops of water splatter into her open palm. She was crying. How peculiar, because she didn’t know what she was crying for. It was not as if she loved Draco or anything…
And yet, seeing him walk away and hearing him say goodbye was heart-wrenching for her. She felt so hurt, she couldn’t understand it, much less explain it. But she knew that this couldn’t go on. Whatever it was that she felt for him, it couldn’t grow, it couldn’t stay long in her heart. There was no hope for it, no future. It would only hurt more and more as time grew…
Hurt her so much that in turn, it would hurt other people too…
Particularly Harry.
Author notes: I actually cut this chapter into two since it became incredibly long. The long chapters might just bore you, readers. But then, it’ll buy me enough time to write more.
Acknowledgements:
To Shiiki, my ever patient beta.
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