Chapter Eleven: Snogging Sessions and Sneers

Days had passed and still Scorpius had not had the opportunity to talk to Lily. He hadn’t even seen her over the last few days of the Easter holidays, which were thankfully behind them. Seeing her in school, however, was not the same as really talking to her, and what he had to say required a little more tact than a simple snog passing between classes could properly convey, though he was sure she’d get the picture that way, too.

Truth be told, Scorpius didn’t really know if he was ready to initiate anything with Lily. Yes, he had admitted to himself that he liked her, more than liked her, really, but there was the whole issue with Rose and her still not speaking to him. Not to mention the negative way Lily had responded the last time he’d kissed her.

Scorpius rolled his jaw at the thought, remembering the stinging handprint she had left on his cheek. Tentatively, he reached up to touch his cheek, the mark having disappeared only an hour or so after the accident in Muggle London, and that had been days ago. Failing to pay attention to the last few minutes of Professor Binns’ lecture, Scorpius conjured up possible scenarios between himself and Lily instead. He’d thought of her for days now and still been unable to decide between ignoring his possible feelings for the Gryffindor girl or kissing her soundly and gauging her reaction. Both seemed painful to think about.

The longer Scorpius thought about Lily, and a nagging voice in the back of his head mentioned something about Rose, the darker his mood became. How had something this insane even happened to him? Everything had been very simple a few months ago, black and white. He had liked Rose, Rose had liked him. Rose didn’t want to say anything or let anyone else know, but it had been a clear-cut issue that way. There hadn’t been any confusion or decisions to make. All Scorpius had done was wait around with his hands in his pockets, hoping Rose would eventually be ready to tell people and they could act on their feelings. There hadn’t been anyone else he’d been interested in, even though neither of them had ever admitted to their interest in each other. It had just been hanging there between them, seen but unmentioned by either one. He had liked Rose and had been waiting for her, end of story. The moments they spent together in the library or on the rare prefect duty had been enough for him, but in retrospect, Scorpius realized he had been miserable. The only girl he had cared about had been ashamed of him, not wanting even her closest friends to know how they felt about each other.

Now, though, now Scorpius had someone else, someone who didn’t care if people knew about him, if her own family knew, if the society pages printed articles on their dancing together at his parents’ dinner party for the whole world to read about. Lily didn’t care because they were friends and that was all that mattered to her. She was up-front and honest, it seemed, at least about her feelings and her values. She had a manipulative streak, certainly, but what kind of Slytherin would he be if he couldn’t appreciate that?

Scorpius’ mood momentarily lifted as he thought about Lily, once again going through the ups and downs that he’d been coursing through day after day. He liked her; he could admit that. He wanted to kiss her again, that he was sure of. He most definitely did not want her to slap him again. Anytime that he came close to reaching a decision and talking with her about what he felt for her, Scorpius came up blank, always hitting an invisible barrier within himself. Rose would have called it cowardice, but the thought of being like her made him want to be sick. He was through with Rose. He wasn’t going to let her ruin the chance he had with Lily, with someone who really, truly made him happy, who wasn’t ashamed of him or what her family might think.

Finally the bell signaling the end of classes rang and Scorpius snapped out of his thoughts long enough to pack up his school bag and sweep out of the room, no closer to making a decision regarding Lily than he had been at the beginning of the class hour.

Stalking down the halls of Hogwarts, Scorpius hardly watched where he was going as the other students milled about him, all on their way back from their last class of the day. Scorpius merely stared at the cobblestone floor, lost in thought when suddenly he was painfully jerked out of his musings as a small fist made contact with his arm.

“Oy, watch it!” he growled, spinning around to glare daggers at the offender, his glare lessening immediately as he caught sight of Lily, twirling her red hair around her finger and grinning at him cheekily. “That was quite unnecessary,” he drawled, one eyebrow lifting in amusement.

“Wasn’t it though?” she laughed, biting down on her lower lip and smirking at him nefariously. “Just thought I’d say hello, is all.”

“Oh? And how the hell do you bid a bloke goodbye?” Scorpius chuckled, still rubbing his arm where she’d socked him.

“Poor baby, did ickle Lily give you a boo-boo?” she pouted.

Scorpius shook his head, fixating her with a warning glance but Lily only burst into laughter. Deciding retribution was absolutely necessary, Scorpius seized her in his arms, eliciting a squeal from her so that she dropped her stack of books as he furiously began running his fist over the top of her head, mussing up her hair. “No, don’t! Stop!” Lily squealed, trying in vain to push his hand away. “It’s already tangled, Scorpius, stop! IT’S ALREADY TANGLED!” she shrieked in laughter.

Scorpius only laughed, ruffling her hair one final time before he finally released her. “Maybe you ought to buy a brush there, Lils,” He commented lightly, trying not to smirk as Lily stumbling away, clutching the top of her head, her red hair sticking in every direction as if she’d been hit by a hex or maybe even a lighting bolt.

The students passing by paid their scuffle little attention except for the cursory glance, not one of them having offered to assist Lily, a few shaking their heads in amusement. “Nice hair, Potter,” one of her housemates commented as he passed, earning a smirk from her in response.

“Oh, I like yours, too, Finnegan! Real nice how it all sticks up on one side of your head. I’m sure all the girls just love that,” she enthused sarcastically.

The fifth year boy’s face turned brick red and he hastily disappeared down the corridor, self-consciously patting down his ever messy hair, Lily chuckling after him. She turned back to face Scorpius, trying in vain to suppress her amusement and muster up a disapproving expression instead. “That wasn’t very nice,” she reprimanded him with mock seriousness, hands on her hips.

“Not really, but it’s not as if I hexed you, either,” he smirked.

Lily only rolled her eyes, reaching down to snatch up her books when Scorpius beat her to it, gathering up the small stack and handing it to her, the two of them standing quite close together as they both rose to their feet at the same time. Lily flushed and quietly thanked him, glancing up to meet his silver eyes staring at her. “Erm, I’ll just see you later, then. I’ve got to get back to the common room and all.”

“Right,” Scorpius nodded, sticking his hands in his pockets and hating how everything was suddenly so tense and formal all of a sudden, though he still couldn’t bring himself to tear his eyes from hers.

“Right,” Lily repeated, flushing once more as she turned on her heel and started down the hallway, leaving him still staring after her and her tangled mass of hair.

Once she’d left, Scorpius closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh. It had been like this ever since that day in Diagon Alley when he’d kissed her and somehow shattered the boundary lines of what had been their casual friendship. Lily had certainly forgiven him, even if Rose hadn’t, but now everything between the two of them was awkward, and he never knew what to do with himself afterwards. They still hung out, but it wasn’t the same. He wondered if it ever could be the same when every time that he saw her, Scorpius felt his chest seize up, the constant desire to kiss her driving him mad.

He shook his head at the thought, groaning inwardly and burying his face in the palm of his hand. What was wrong with him? It had been one kiss and an insincere one at that, meant only to upset Rose. Why, then, couldn’t he get that memory out of his head? The problem was, as short as that kiss had been, it was still just that, a kiss.

Scorpius quietly cursed under his breath; who was he kidding? There was only one reason everything was suddenly so awkward and uncomfortable between them and he knew exactly what it was. The truth was, he had enjoyed it. He’d overanalyzed that kiss again and again, realizing that he had liked the feel of her lips on his and more so than that, he wanted to kiss her again. It was like something had slid into place between them when he’d kissed her and though she’d been furious afterwards, Scorpius couldn’t help but think that kissing Lily had been like forcing a final puzzle piece into place in their relationship. If only everything hadn’t gone straight to hell immediately afterwards.

Sighing wistfully, Scorpius scuffed his shoe against the stone floor, glancing up just in time to see Lily’s red hair whipping behind her as she disappeared around a corner and down another corridor. Groaning to himself, Scorpius paced back and forth, struggling against the insane desire to follow her and push her up against the wall before kissing the living daylights out of her. Seeing one of her schoolbooks lying forgotten on the floor, Scorpius mentally kicked himself, now having no choice but to follow after her and return the damn thing.

Seizing the small textbook, Scorpius jogged down the corridor she’d disappeared from, the crowd of students having all but disappeared. Turning around the same corner she had, Scorpius finally caught sight of Lily walking down the nearly deserted corridor, not once having seen him. About to call out to her, Scorpius paused mid-step, his mouth suddenly dry as he realized what kind of opportunity he’d been presented with and his stomach dropped unexpectedly. She’d be furious, he knew that, but his thoughts were already running away with him, already imagining the feel of her petal-soft lips pressed against his.

Quickly making a decision, Scorpius easily caught up to Lily, her head whipping around at the sound of his footsteps, her eyes flying wide in surprise. “Scorpius, what are you-?” Suddenly he seized her waist and his lips crashed down on hers, cutting her off mid-sentence.

Gasping in surprise, her lips parted of their own accord, just as they had that day in Diagon Alley. Her books slid out of her suddenly slack hands, falling to the floor beneath them. Scorpius pressed his lips more firmly against her own and felt her smaller body arch, her fingers instinctively curling around the fabric of his robes as he kissed her.

Suddenly realizing what she was doing, Lily’s eyes flew wide, quickly reclaiming her senses as she furiously slapped him away, a resounding crack as her palm made contact with his skin and disjointed their lips, an abrupt silence now hanging suspended between them. Scorpius rolled his jaw, turning his face back to see her scandalized expression, her breathing just as shallow and uneven as his.

“Are you a complete idiot?” she hissed at him, slapping at his shoulder, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. “God, what the hell is wrong with you? I thought we fixed this!” she cried, hitting him a second time.

Scorpius easily caught her wrist to keep her from hitting him again, his voice suddenly low and earnest. “Stop slapping me. I wasn’t exactly performing for an audience, Lils,” he murmured, smirking faintly as he watched her expression change, her eyes suddenly wide, glancing past him to see that it was true.

“What? Then why?” she broke off, suddenly wordless.

Scorpius stepped closer towards her, his hand still curled around her wrist. He bent his head towards hers, his words sure even as his insides were a ball of nerves. “Maybe I liked kissing you,” he whispered.

Lily sucked in a slight breath as he bent closer, almost hesitatingly so. “But…” Her protests died on her lips as he lightly brushed his lips against hers once more, though only for a second.

Pulling back, he suddenly looked worried, his grey eyes locked on hers. His head was still bent so close to her own face, though he was no longer advancing anymore, swallowing dryly instead.

“Is this not okay?” he asked hoarsely. “Lils, tell me and I’ll kick myself, I swear…” He broke off, suddenly feeling like an idiot but before he could apologize, she had pressed her lips firmly against his, silencing him with a single kiss. Her hands reached up to tentatively touch his face, the feather-light touch of her fingers sending a shock through him. Scorpius lightly kissed her back, but all too soon, she shrank back, worriedly biting down on her now slightly swollen lower lip.

Scorpius leaned his forehead against hers, his breathing shallow and his eyes closing briefly. “Please, Lils, just give this a chance.” He opened his eyes, staring into hers to see that she was pale, her expression one of trepidation. “You kissed me back,” he continued, nuzzling the top of her scarlet hair. “That’s got to mean something,” he whispered.

“Does it?” she asked in a small voice, her body trembling slightly.

“Mmhmm.”

Lily closed her eyes, her breathing shaky and uneven as she inhaled the scent of him, standing so close to her. She swallowed tightly, glancing up at him, looking afraid, “What if this isn’t okay? Scorpius, you’re my best friend…”

“I know…” he murmured.

This time when he kissed her, Lily’s eyelids fluttered closed, her hands immediately reaching up and around his neck, pulling him closer as she responded to his kiss. Something had broken between them and at the same time knitted itself back together, and Scorpius again felt as if that final puzzle piece had been forced into place, everything between them suddenly right until Lily’s hands forced him back and he heard a name he’d rather she had forgotten.

“What about Rose?” she gasped, pulling back from him, “We can’t do this…”

“I don’t care,” he growled, shaking his head fiercely and moving forward in an attempt to reclaim her lips once more, but Lily only pulled back further.

“H-how do I know you’re not doing this to upset her again?” Lily demanded somewhat hysterically, suddenly appearing to be on the verge of tears.

Wanting to groan in frustration, Scorpius again cursed himself for his actions in Diagon Alley, hating the fact that he had broken her trust. Shaking his head, he cupped the sides of her face in each of his hands, gently forcing her to look up at him, wanting to reassure her and make her understand. “I used you before, Lils, I know that, and I’m sorry. It was stupid and I haven’t stopped wanting to kick myself for it, but I swear to you, Lily, I’m through with Rose.”

“How is that supposed to make me feel better?” Lily asked, shaking her head slightly and looking even more upset than before.

Scorpius leaned in towards her, saying anything to reassure her. “I liked her, past tense. I’m sure you’ve figured out that much, at least.”

Lily nodded, not saying anything and not looking at him either.

“Lils, look at me.”

Lily glanced up, her heart waging war with itself between how much she truly cared about Scorpius and the loyalty she owed her cousin. She didn’t know when he’d come to mean more to her than just a friend and she hated herself for letting it happen. Staring up in his silver eyes, she hoped he would say something to push her in the right direction, because she honestly didn’t know which way that was anymore.

“Lily, Rose and I, we’re never going to happen. I feel like utter trash for what I did to both of you in Diagon Alley, but I’m not going to just forget all she said either. I-I never thought, before this year, this last semester, that I could like anyone but her… and then you came along, and you’re funny and smart, and positively wicked.” He shook his head in amusement towards the end with a quiet chuckle.

Lily smiled faintly, her lips twitching though her eyes were still sad. She swallowed thickly and turned her face up towards him. “Please don’t tell me I’m a replacement for her.”

“No,” Scorpius fiercely shook his head. “No, Lily, not at all.”

Lily felt her throat close up with tears, distraught. “It sure feels that way.”

Scorpius ran his finger down the side of her cheek, her green eyes fluttering closed, a stray tear falling. All these days he’d been debating whether to tell her, whether to act on what he felt, and now it seemed that everything was crashing down around his feet. His chest tightened as he considered the possibility of losing Lily, of pushing her away. He couldn’t let that happen. She was his only friend now, more than a simple housemate. She was even more than a friend, and he didn’t want to lose her over an unresolved conflict with Rose. He had to make her see that this was all right, this was what they owed themselves.

Swallowing, Scorpius opened his mouth, prepared to tell her anything that would ensure she’d stay at his side, stay with him. “Lils, I haven’t given Rose a single bloody thought since kissing you last week,” he promised.

He hadn’t lied to her, he wouldn’t dare, but he knew what he told her wasn’t entirely honest either. It didn’t matter. Rose didn’t matter. He’d sort out everything with her later. What mattered now was Lily and making sure he did everything he could to stop her from crying.

Watching as Lily’s lips twitched faintly in spite of herself, he was assured that it had worked.

The Gryffindor girl grinned up at him, her heart swelling within her chest at the feelings his words prompted in her. She couldn’t help but tease him for it, if only to play down the blush creeping over her cheeks.

“Haven’t you?” she teased, green eyes shining, her arms looping themselves around his neck, “And you waited a whole week since then?” she asked.

“Well, your dad is pretty damn scary,” Scorpius laughed, his shoulders relaxing somewhat.

Her face broke into a happy grin, glancing down as her cheeks flushed prettily. Scorpius hesitatingly leaned his forehead against hers until she finally looked up at him, suddenly serious.

“Am I awful?” she asked.

Caught off guard, his brow furrowed, “What? No! Of course not!” he insisted.

“I feel awful…” she whispered quietly. “Rose… she… I-I don’t even understand what went on between you and her…”

“Nothing,” he assured her, though they both knew it was a lie.

“She doesn’t act like that…” Lily continued, now speaking in a much smaller voice. “I really didn’t know, not at all… She hasn’t spoken to me in days, not since… How can I do this to her?” Lily started to pull away but Scorpius’ hands tightened over her own, holding her in place against his chest. He bent his face closer to hers, eyes bright and pleading.

“Look, Lils, let’s not bring this up now…”

“But…”

He cut her off with a quick kiss, grateful that that at least seemed to distract her. Their kiss slowly lengthened as she responded to him, her lips so soft against his own, though salty with her few tears. Her lips were suddenly gone again and Scorpius wanted to curse in frustration.

“You’ve got to apologize to her,” Lily whispered pleadingly.

Groaning in exasperation, he didn’t answer, moving to pull her back instead, but she shot him a pointed warning look and Scorpius knew she wouldn’t let it go. “Alright, fine! Can we just get back to the snogging for now?” he demanded, trying quite hard to keep any thoughts of Rose or apologizing to her far from his mind. It didn’t help that Lily was standing only inches away from him, her kisses making his head spin.

Lily chuckled lightly, flushing as she realized what her constant backing away must be doing to him, hardly noticing his defensiveness.“Sorry,” she murmured, her cheeks still pink with a hint of embarrassment.

“So long as we get back to the snogging, you’re forgiven,” he whispered with a smirk, brushing his lips over hers and determinedly pushing Rose far from his mind. He hadn’t been lying when he said they were through. All he wanted now was Lily, who was trying not to laugh at his brusque attitude.

She rolled her eyes as he pushed her backwards and up against the wall, the stones now digging at her back. “Aren’t you just the hopeless romantic?” she chuckled with a distinct drawl in an uncanny impersonation of him.

Scorpius cocked one eyebrow at her with thinly veiled amusement. “I taught you that damned drawl,” he remarked, “Don’t go using it against me. Now stop teasing already.” And with that, his lips descended upon hers once more, this time without Lily interrupting their snogging even once and neither of their consciences voicing their fears.

*

Rose sat eating dinner at the Ravenclaw table, or rather, she sat stabbing at the bits of food on her plate, her lower lip trembling in fury as she stabbed her cutlery at her plate with a grating sound. She had just been walking back from the last of her classes when she’d stumbled across Scorpius and Lily beneath one of the stairwells, snogging each other senseless and looking as though it weren’t their first attempt either. Thankfully they hadn’t seen her as she had quickly disappeared, her stomach tying itself in knots even as her heart constricted in her chest. Hours later, she sat viciously stabbing at her food, having completely lost her appetite.

It hadn’t even been a full week since classes resumed, nine days since the Malfoy’s dinner party and whatever the hell had happened between those two there. Rose wanted to kick herself; she never should have left Scorpius and Lily alone. Rose felt angry tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill, feeling both heartbroken and betrayed.

Albus leaned across the table from her, apprehensively glancing at the torn up bits of food on her plate and her knife’s steady progress. “Rose, you okay?” he asked concernedly.

Rose glared at her cousin and quickly glanced back down, growling in a low voice. “I didn’t ask you to sit with me,” she bit out.

Albus swallowed, looking down at his own plate. “No, but you haven’t exactly sat with Lily and me in days; you always sit at Gryffindor table for lunch. Did you two have a row?”

Rose stabbed at her plate once more. “Not exactly observant, are you?” she sneered.

Ablus sighed wearily, trying to keep his temper in check so as not to lash out at his cousin. “Look, if you want to tell me, then tell me already, Rose. But I’ll just be going if you’re just going to keep biting my head off.”

“Then bugger off already,” Rose snapped.

Albus sighed and set down his fork with weary resignation, rising from his seat and returning to the Gryffindor table. Swinging his leg over the seat, he plopped down beside his other cousin who was steadily eating his way through an enormous helping of steak and kidney pie. “What’s up with your sister?”

“Hmm?” Hugo looked up from what he was eating to glance backwards at Rose, chewing thoughtfully at the permanent glare she wore. He quickly followed her line of vision and turned his head back in the other direction towards the Slytherin table and one blond boy in particular who seemed happily unobservant of Rose’s furious stare. “Well,” Hugo swallowed. “No secret there, is it? Shouldn’t those glasses of yours actually help you pay attention?” he asked nonchalantly, taking another bite of his dinner roll and glancing at Albus with curious eyes, seemingly unaware of the insult he’d just made.

“You know, it is so obvious you two are siblings,” Albus began. “Really, there is such a family resemblance between you two; maybe it’s the unholy amount of useless know-it-all-rub-it-in-your-face-rubbish you’re always spouting off. I’m going to the damn kitchens; mangy house-elves are better company than the two of you.”

Hugo simply shrugged his shoulders, his lips twitching in faint amusement. Of all his cousins, Albus was the easiest to upset, to think they’d even once had him convinced he’d end up in Slytherin. He watched as Albus rose to his feet once more and started off towards the kitchens, smirking at him slightly. “I’ll go on and save you the lecture on house-elves, shall I?” he asked innocently.

Albus groaned aloud while Hugo chuckled to himself, neither noticing the discreet glance that was shared between Lily and Scorpius Malfoy right before both stood up and left the Great Hall.

*

Lily let out a gasp as Scorpius pressed her up against the wall, smirking at her before capturing her lips with his. She giggled against him and he pulled back, raising one eyebrow in exasperation. “Is there the slightest effort you could put into actually boosting my ego rather than crushing it with incessant laughter?” he asked.

Lily laughed, even as he picked her up, her legs curling around his waist, fingers splayed over each of his shoulders as she looked down at him, red hair falling into her eyes. “But I don’t want to boost your ego.” She lightly remarked, “I despise your bloody ego… if I had a mortal enemy…”

“Yes, yes, it’d be my endless amount of well-placed and entirely deserved self-assurance. I know, Lils.”

Lily lightly touched his cheek, biting down on her lower lip to keep from grinning like an idiot. “What’s your worst enemy?” she asked, trying to sound seductive though she knew it must have come out ridiculous more than anything else.

“Other than your cheek?” Scorpius asked lightly, her eyes narrowing as she suddenly swatted at his shoulder, still holding her up. He chuckled deep in his throat and finally answered her, his grey eyes dancing. “Any member of your family seems perfectly capable of putting me in the hospital, so pick a ginger, any ginger, and chances are we’re enemies.”

“Except for me,” Lily cut in, looking proud of herself.

“Obviously, as that would make snogging you rather difficult.”

He suddenly kissed her and Lily’s tongue darted across their lips, trying to keep from grinning. “Are you afraid of Albus?” she teased, her words brushing over his lips.

“Merlin, no!” Scorpius started, ripping back from her at the thought, though his eyes narrowed as he realized she’d been baiting him. “Alright, two exceptions, though I’d certainly never kiss him.”

“I have,” she muttered darkly, her boyfriend’s eyebrows rising in surprise. “Long story,” she muttered as way of explaining.

“And mildly disconcerting,” Scorpius agreed, setting her back down on her feet again, one eyebrow lifted and trying not to smirk. “Care to share or will my ears bleed?”

Lily easily waved him off, rolling her eyes, “Family mishap with misplaced mistletoe. I was six; it’s hardly as bad as you were thinking. Rose used it on me as leverage in a game once…” She suddenly trailed off, remembering everything from the last time she and Rose had played that game up in the old Divination tower. Pulling back from him, Lily looked up at Scorpius with slightly wider eyes, realizing how short a time it had been since she’d ran barreling into him that same day though he was oblivious to the direction of her thoughts.

“What is it? Another family horror story?” he teased.

“Have you apologized to Rose?” Lily asked quietly, watching as his lips tightened.

“Not exactly.”

“Scorpius…”

“What do you want me to say, Lils?” he demanded, his hands on her waist. “It’s been two weeks; surely we can just drop it and leave it alone.”

“She’s still not spoken to me once. She’s my best friend,” Lily insisted.

“I thought I was your best friend…” Scorpius teased, trying to distract her.

“I’m not kidding around here, Scorpius.”

“I know.” He looked away and then finally back to her, swallowing with some difficulty. “I’ll find her, first thing tomorrow.”

“You’d better, or I will,” Lily warned, leaning forward and kissing him.