My Soul Belongs To You
Chapter Eight
The Woe of Ginny Potter
As the days turned into weeks after Harry's death, instead of getting better, Ginny slid deeper into depression. Her whole family worried about her, and Lily was now staying at the Burrow. Ginny didn't even react to her going.
That was when Ron knew enough was enough. He went to visit her and wasn't surprised to find her in her nightgown and still in bed at four in the afternoon. She looked like she hadn't bathed or even brushed her hair in days. “Ginny, we need to talk. I know you loved Harry, but you're really scaring us.”
She looked at him with tear-filled eyes. “You don't understand.”
“You're right, I don't. I still have Hermione, but Ginny, even if I lost her I would still go on because of my kids. I would have to move forward for them.”
“What if you knew you were not the husband to Hermione that she should have had?”
Ron was surprised by this comment. “Ginny, Harry loved you. You made him so happy.”
“No! I was a horrible wife!” she sobbed.
“No, Ginny! Do you know how many times I had to tell him to put a sock in it when he talked about how lucky he was to have you?” Ginny sobbed even harder. “Or that you were still my sister and I didn't want to know that many things your relationship? Gin, he told me he loved you more than he ever dreamed possible.”
“That's why I'm a horrible wife. I loved somebody else more than him!”
Ron sat down in shock and disbelief. “What? You cheated on Harry?”
She seemed to calm down a bit. “No, I never broke my wedding vows,” she swore.
Ron was pleased she seemed calmer. “I don't understand.”
“Well, it started when you three were off looking for the Horcruxes. Hogwarts was so different that year; you would never understand how different unless you had been there too. It was the night of Halloween and I had just finished writing pro-Muggle-born slogans when I ran into him, this guy. We fought, then out of nowhere he grabs me and starts kissing me.
It was the best kiss I had ever had, to that point, and he knew what he was doing! It was strong and confident, and before I knew it we were having sex. Afterwards we tried to pretend it didn't happen, but it was such a wonderful distraction from the world we were both in. We both needed the escape. A week later, we met again and it was still a great escape. For weeks it was only sex; then we started talking, but never about the war. When Luna didn't return after Christmas, I told him how worried I was about her. He assured me she would be fine, however the war was still the only thing we didn't talk about. He was my whole world until the final battle came.
Harry returned, and shortly after, Harry asked Dad if Dad would give his blessing to marry me. I knew the whole family wanted us to marry. I also knew the family would never accept this guy. I did love Harry, but not as much as him. I told him I would marry Harry. He understood why and even told me it was okay to love Harry. The last time we were intimate was the night he gave me this, weeks before my wedding.” She held out the cross on her necklace; the only jewelry she currently had on. “I promised myself that I would never break my wedding vows to Harry, and I never did, but Harry figured it out. He spent years with me knowing I loved someone else more. That's why I'm a horrible wife; for Harry to have had to live knowing his wife loved Draco Malfoy more than him!”
There was a look of total shock on Ron's face and he lost all ability to speak! He stared at her for ten minutes before he could form words. “Ginny, I never knew. How do you know Harry knew?”
“He told me right before he died.”
“What?” Ron said, sounding like a girl.
“He said, 'Promise me you'll do what I ask, Ginny. I need you to tell Dr--'”
“Don't say his name!” Ron pleaded.
“'Tell him he finally beat me. He won your heart.'” Ginny started crying again.
Ron wrapped an arm around her. “Why did he tell you this?”
She just sobbed into his shoulder.
Over the next couple of weeks, the family, armed with this new knowledge, tried to bring Ginny back. However, all attempts failed.
In Malfoy Manor, Lucius had come to Draco. “I found this on your mother's desk and I thought you might find it interesting.” Lucius handed Draco a letter from his grandson to his wife. After handing Draco the letter, Lucius turned and walked out of the room.
Draco picked up the letter and began reading it:
Grandmother,
I need to ask for your advice. It's about my friend, Al Potter. He hasn't been the same since his father passed away. However, I can see he is getting worse. You see, he and his dad were very close, but since his father's passing, he hasn't received one letter from home! I mean, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles, and his sister send owls, but he gets NOTHING from his mother! I think he is really hurting and I don't know how to help him!
Scorpius
Deep down Draco knew what was going on. Lucius couldn't have cared less about Albus Potter; this was about Ginny. It took a bit for the facts to occur to Draco, but he realized his father's reasons for being okay with his feelings about Ginny. First, she was a Pure blood; second, Lucius did care about Draco`s feelings; and third, to have the Malfoy family seen as being accepted by the Weasley family would serve to prove that the Malfoys were reformed. This would lessen the attention of the Aurors on him and his family, which was something Lucius deeply wanted.
Three days later, Draco was in his office when Ron Weasley knocked, then immediately entered. “Weasley, what are you doing here?”
“Like I want to be here.” Ron paused. “Look, I don't really have any other option. I'm here about Ginny; she told me about you and her.”
Draco never expected this. “She did?” He didn't have to sound surprised.
“Look, Malfoy, since Harry's death she has been a complete mess. I saw you at the service, and that was the best day she has had. The whole family has tried to help snap her out of this with no luck. I'm scared if this goes on much longer, there will be no turning back.”
“Why do you think I can help?” Draco asked.
Ron didn't want to reveal the reason, but he had come this far, so... “Because you're part of the problem. Look, I have lost a brother, and more recently, a man I was closer to than a brother. I don't want to lose Ginny too.”
“She's that bad?”
“The worst, she is. Please, will you come and try to talk to her?”
Angry as Draco was at her for loving Harry, he didn't want to be in a world where Ginny no longer existed. Ron took him to the same house that Draco had come to years before to apologize for asking Ginny to sleep with him. The house looked the same, yet different. The paint color on the walls had changed and there were many more photos. The place had a very homey feeling. Ron led Draco up the stairs. “Sorry, she never comes out of her room. Hermione and I will be down in the kitchen if she needs anything.”
Draco nodded; he didn't have a clue what he was going to do. After Ron headed back downstairs, he knocked on the bedroom door. “Go away!” came Ginny's voice.
Draco placed his hand on the doorknob and slowly turned it, pushing the door open. What he saw scared him; Ginny had definitely lost weight, her hair was missing its lustre, she was wearing what would best be called a granny gown, and when she made eye contact with him, there was no sparkle in her eyes. Tears welled up in them instead. “Go away,” she repeated.
“I can't, Ginny. Your family is very worried about you; worried enough that they came to me for help. I promised myself years back I would never let anything bad happen to you.”
“You're the problem,” she accused.
“Ginny, please tell me about the problem.” Draco closed the door behind himself and stepped closer to the bed where Ginny was balled up.
“Harry made a dying request of me. He asked me to tell you that you finally beat him and that you won my heart.”
Draco was shocked to hear this. “You told him about us?”
She shook her head. “No, he figured it out. I promised myself he would never know about my feelings for you.” She paused. “Harry never had a happy life. He spent his whole life... feeling as if he was … not good enough for those who should have loved him. He should have never felt that from me. I was wrong to marry him if I couldn't have given him the love he deserved.”
“Ginny, stop this pity party! Don't you dare tell me you didn't give him what he deserved, because you gave him everything I could only dream of! Even when I told you all those years ago that it was okay to love him, I hated him. He and you shared something, horrible as it may have been, that linked the two of you to each other forever; your connections with Voldemort. Even though you two didn't deserve that, it still existed. Ginny, there was another reason why I let you go so easily; I knew that if we had somehow beat the deck that was stacked against us, if he was around I could never compete with the connection you two had.”
She shook her head. “You're wrong.”
“No, you want me to be wrong.”
“No, I do love you more than him.”
Draco wanted to say something cold, but knew it was the wrong time for that. “I know, I never said differently. I just mean that yours and Harry's link would have still pulled you two together. Look at what you did give him; nineteen years of yourself, you gave him three children, you made his meals, and you were the perfect wife, always there for him. The perfect date, too. You were never even tempted to be with me.”
“I wanted you,” she protested.
“But Ginny, you never did it! You loved him enough to never want to hurt him, enough to stop living out of poorly felt guilt. What else did he tell you before he died?”
“To be happy.”
“Do you really think he would want your children to have to go through this without you? They need you, your family can see that. Hell Ginny, even Scorpius can see that! He wrote my mother, asking for advice on how to help Al because Al is hurting over the fact that his mother hasn't been there for him.
Scorpius may be a better person than me, but he is still only an eleven-year-old boy!”
“Albus...”
“Yes Ginny, and what about your other children, James and Lily? They too have lost their father, and they need to know you're there for them.”
An hour later, Draco came into the kitchen to find Hermione and Ron having a cup of tea. “She's in the shower, and she said she would be down in half an hour.”
“You got her to take a shower?” Hermione asked, a smile crossing her face.
“Yes. I think things will get better now,” Draco replied. “I told her I would stick around for awhile. I was hoping to see her eat something She has lost a bit of weight.”
“Yes, she has. She hardly eats, no matter what we made for her,” Hermione agreed.
“Potter sent her on quite a head trip.” The Weasleys could hear the anger in Draco's voice.
“I don't think that was his plan,” Hermione conceded.
Chapter Eight
The Woe of Ginny Potter
As the days turned into weeks after Harry's death, instead of getting better, Ginny slid deeper into depression. Her whole family worried about her, and Lily was now staying at the Burrow. Ginny didn't even react to her going.
That was when Ron knew enough was enough. He went to visit her and wasn't surprised to find her in her nightgown and still in bed at four in the afternoon. She looked like she hadn't bathed or even brushed her hair in days. “Ginny, we need to talk. I know you loved Harry, but you're really scaring us.”
She looked at him with tear-filled eyes. “You don't understand.”
“You're right, I don't. I still have Hermione, but Ginny, even if I lost her I would still go on because of my kids. I would have to move forward for them.”
“What if you knew you were not the husband to Hermione that she should have had?”
Ron was surprised by this comment. “Ginny, Harry loved you. You made him so happy.”
“No! I was a horrible wife!” she sobbed.
“No, Ginny! Do you know how many times I had to tell him to put a sock in it when he talked about how lucky he was to have you?” Ginny sobbed even harder. “Or that you were still my sister and I didn't want to know that many things your relationship? Gin, he told me he loved you more than he ever dreamed possible.”
“That's why I'm a horrible wife. I loved somebody else more than him!”
Ron sat down in shock and disbelief. “What? You cheated on Harry?”
She seemed to calm down a bit. “No, I never broke my wedding vows,” she swore.
Ron was pleased she seemed calmer. “I don't understand.”
“Well, it started when you three were off looking for the Horcruxes. Hogwarts was so different that year; you would never understand how different unless you had been there too. It was the night of Halloween and I had just finished writing pro-Muggle-born slogans when I ran into him, this guy. We fought, then out of nowhere he grabs me and starts kissing me.
It was the best kiss I had ever had, to that point, and he knew what he was doing! It was strong and confident, and before I knew it we were having sex. Afterwards we tried to pretend it didn't happen, but it was such a wonderful distraction from the world we were both in. We both needed the escape. A week later, we met again and it was still a great escape. For weeks it was only sex; then we started talking, but never about the war. When Luna didn't return after Christmas, I told him how worried I was about her. He assured me she would be fine, however the war was still the only thing we didn't talk about. He was my whole world until the final battle came.
Harry returned, and shortly after, Harry asked Dad if Dad would give his blessing to marry me. I knew the whole family wanted us to marry. I also knew the family would never accept this guy. I did love Harry, but not as much as him. I told him I would marry Harry. He understood why and even told me it was okay to love Harry. The last time we were intimate was the night he gave me this, weeks before my wedding.” She held out the cross on her necklace; the only jewelry she currently had on. “I promised myself that I would never break my wedding vows to Harry, and I never did, but Harry figured it out. He spent years with me knowing I loved someone else more. That's why I'm a horrible wife; for Harry to have had to live knowing his wife loved Draco Malfoy more than him!”
There was a look of total shock on Ron's face and he lost all ability to speak! He stared at her for ten minutes before he could form words. “Ginny, I never knew. How do you know Harry knew?”
“He told me right before he died.”
“What?” Ron said, sounding like a girl.
“He said, 'Promise me you'll do what I ask, Ginny. I need you to tell Dr--'”
“Don't say his name!” Ron pleaded.
“'Tell him he finally beat me. He won your heart.'” Ginny started crying again.
Ron wrapped an arm around her. “Why did he tell you this?”
She just sobbed into his shoulder.
Over the next couple of weeks, the family, armed with this new knowledge, tried to bring Ginny back. However, all attempts failed.
In Malfoy Manor, Lucius had come to Draco. “I found this on your mother's desk and I thought you might find it interesting.” Lucius handed Draco a letter from his grandson to his wife. After handing Draco the letter, Lucius turned and walked out of the room.
Draco picked up the letter and began reading it:
Grandmother,
I need to ask for your advice. It's about my friend, Al Potter. He hasn't been the same since his father passed away. However, I can see he is getting worse. You see, he and his dad were very close, but since his father's passing, he hasn't received one letter from home! I mean, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles, and his sister send owls, but he gets NOTHING from his mother! I think he is really hurting and I don't know how to help him!
Scorpius
Deep down Draco knew what was going on. Lucius couldn't have cared less about Albus Potter; this was about Ginny. It took a bit for the facts to occur to Draco, but he realized his father's reasons for being okay with his feelings about Ginny. First, she was a Pure blood; second, Lucius did care about Draco`s feelings; and third, to have the Malfoy family seen as being accepted by the Weasley family would serve to prove that the Malfoys were reformed. This would lessen the attention of the Aurors on him and his family, which was something Lucius deeply wanted.
Three days later, Draco was in his office when Ron Weasley knocked, then immediately entered. “Weasley, what are you doing here?”
“Like I want to be here.” Ron paused. “Look, I don't really have any other option. I'm here about Ginny; she told me about you and her.”
Draco never expected this. “She did?” He didn't have to sound surprised.
“Look, Malfoy, since Harry's death she has been a complete mess. I saw you at the service, and that was the best day she has had. The whole family has tried to help snap her out of this with no luck. I'm scared if this goes on much longer, there will be no turning back.”
“Why do you think I can help?” Draco asked.
Ron didn't want to reveal the reason, but he had come this far, so... “Because you're part of the problem. Look, I have lost a brother, and more recently, a man I was closer to than a brother. I don't want to lose Ginny too.”
“She's that bad?”
“The worst, she is. Please, will you come and try to talk to her?”
Angry as Draco was at her for loving Harry, he didn't want to be in a world where Ginny no longer existed. Ron took him to the same house that Draco had come to years before to apologize for asking Ginny to sleep with him. The house looked the same, yet different. The paint color on the walls had changed and there were many more photos. The place had a very homey feeling. Ron led Draco up the stairs. “Sorry, she never comes out of her room. Hermione and I will be down in the kitchen if she needs anything.”
Draco nodded; he didn't have a clue what he was going to do. After Ron headed back downstairs, he knocked on the bedroom door. “Go away!” came Ginny's voice.
Draco placed his hand on the doorknob and slowly turned it, pushing the door open. What he saw scared him; Ginny had definitely lost weight, her hair was missing its lustre, she was wearing what would best be called a granny gown, and when she made eye contact with him, there was no sparkle in her eyes. Tears welled up in them instead. “Go away,” she repeated.
“I can't, Ginny. Your family is very worried about you; worried enough that they came to me for help. I promised myself years back I would never let anything bad happen to you.”
“You're the problem,” she accused.
“Ginny, please tell me about the problem.” Draco closed the door behind himself and stepped closer to the bed where Ginny was balled up.
“Harry made a dying request of me. He asked me to tell you that you finally beat him and that you won my heart.”
Draco was shocked to hear this. “You told him about us?”
She shook her head. “No, he figured it out. I promised myself he would never know about my feelings for you.” She paused. “Harry never had a happy life. He spent his whole life... feeling as if he was … not good enough for those who should have loved him. He should have never felt that from me. I was wrong to marry him if I couldn't have given him the love he deserved.”
“Ginny, stop this pity party! Don't you dare tell me you didn't give him what he deserved, because you gave him everything I could only dream of! Even when I told you all those years ago that it was okay to love him, I hated him. He and you shared something, horrible as it may have been, that linked the two of you to each other forever; your connections with Voldemort. Even though you two didn't deserve that, it still existed. Ginny, there was another reason why I let you go so easily; I knew that if we had somehow beat the deck that was stacked against us, if he was around I could never compete with the connection you two had.”
She shook her head. “You're wrong.”
“No, you want me to be wrong.”
“No, I do love you more than him.”
Draco wanted to say something cold, but knew it was the wrong time for that. “I know, I never said differently. I just mean that yours and Harry's link would have still pulled you two together. Look at what you did give him; nineteen years of yourself, you gave him three children, you made his meals, and you were the perfect wife, always there for him. The perfect date, too. You were never even tempted to be with me.”
“I wanted you,” she protested.
“But Ginny, you never did it! You loved him enough to never want to hurt him, enough to stop living out of poorly felt guilt. What else did he tell you before he died?”
“To be happy.”
“Do you really think he would want your children to have to go through this without you? They need you, your family can see that. Hell Ginny, even Scorpius can see that! He wrote my mother, asking for advice on how to help Al because Al is hurting over the fact that his mother hasn't been there for him.
Scorpius may be a better person than me, but he is still only an eleven-year-old boy!”
“Albus...”
“Yes Ginny, and what about your other children, James and Lily? They too have lost their father, and they need to know you're there for them.”
An hour later, Draco came into the kitchen to find Hermione and Ron having a cup of tea. “She's in the shower, and she said she would be down in half an hour.”
“You got her to take a shower?” Hermione asked, a smile crossing her face.
“Yes. I think things will get better now,” Draco replied. “I told her I would stick around for awhile. I was hoping to see her eat something She has lost a bit of weight.”
“Yes, she has. She hardly eats, no matter what we made for her,” Hermione agreed.
“Potter sent her on quite a head trip.” The Weasleys could hear the anger in Draco's voice.
“I don't think that was his plan,” Hermione conceded.
Author notes: A/N Thanks go out to Francesca, who has been helping beta this story. Unfortunately, she won't be able to continue, so I'm putting out a call to you readers; if you would like to help beta this story, send me a private message. I wish you the best, Francesca!
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