it set me on fire and watched as I floundered
unable to speak
except to cry out and wait for your answer
- Sarah McLachlan
Accusations
Ginny was breathless from the force of Harry’s attack against her. She sat on the hard wood floor of the boys’ dormitory, as the stone wall she leaned on dug into her back. She massaged her sore neck, certain that Harry’s firm grip had left bruises on her pale flesh. Her attacker was pacing back and forth across the floor in front of her. Ron, Dean, Seamus, and Neville hovered nearby, in case Harry lost his head and decided to try and hurt her again.
When Harry initially attacked Ginny as she tried to escape, he managed to awaken Ron. Ron was able to prevent Ginny’s imminent death by tackling Harry away from her. Their struggle roused the rest of their dorm mates, but a few well-placed locking and silencing charms prevented any other unwelcome intrusions. It took the boys a few minutes, but they were finally successful in calming Harry down. Ron, of course, wondered just what in bloody hell Ginny was doing in his room. With some quick thinking, Ginny claimed that she had heard Harry groaning in his sleep and entered the room out of concern and fright. This resulted in a raised eyebrow from Ron, but before he could pry further, Harry lunged at Ginny again, effectively ending all conversation for some time.
Once he had composed himself, Harry hadn’t bothered to explain or apologize for his actions. Instead, he resorted to pacing about the room like a caged animal that was desperate for release. Ginny noticed that Neville, Dean and Seamus periodically gave each other confused looks, but she and Ron concentrated solely on Harry. They watched warily as he ruffled his hair so that it was more unkempt than ever before. They noted his resigned sighs and furious huffs of indignation. They gazed at his scar, which he clutched at in obvious pain. They saw all of this, yet said nothing.
Everyone in the room jumped in surprise when Harry suddenly stopped in front of Ginny and yelled, “How could you, you bitch!” Ron immediately placed a restraining hand on Harry’s shoulder, while the other boys looking on, alert and curious.
Since Harry did not move from his stance, Ginny merely stared back at him and indignantly cried, “What in bloody fucking HELL are you talking about?”
Harry began to splutter in outrage, but Ron’s tightening hold stopped him from attacking Ginny again. Instead, Harry turned to Ron, “Well, Ron, I really had no idea that your family was so dense,” he stated sardonically.
Ron’s eyes flashed dangerously as he growled, “Explain yourself, Potter, before I hurt you.”
“Fine then,” Harry shrugged apathetically, “Your sister has been fraternizing with the enemy this entire bloody time.” With a theatrical sigh of despair and boredom, he continued, “She’s probably been spying on us for her little Slytherin boyfriends.”
Dropping his hand from Harry’s shoulder, Ron stepped away and stared at Ginny horrified. “No. It can’t be,” he whispered disbelievingly.
With a malicious grin, Harry turned to face Ginny. “Oh yes, it’s true. I just saw those bloody wankers with Voldemort through my scar.” His eyes glinted dangerously as he stooped down to brush a strand of hair away from Ginny’s face. “Tell me, Ginny,” he whispered softly, “what is it that girls find so appealing about evil?”
Ginny flinched visibly at Harry’s touch, and pushed him away so forcefully that he lost his balance and landed on his ass. “I’m not a fucking spy,” she hissed angrily, “and you’re a fucking asshole for thinking that I would stoop so low-”
“Ahh,” Harry interrupted, “but you weren’t stooping so low when you fucked Malfoy and Zabini, were you?” His brows were furrowed in rage as he glared at her.
Ginny got to her feet quickly, but not before she slapped Harry soundly. “And maybe you could help me, Harry,” she began in a sweet voice. Then, her face hardened, “What the fuck is it with people and who I sleep with? It’s none of your bloody business!” She spat out. She turned her angry eyes to Ron’s, but almost snickered when she saw his red face.
Ron stared at her for a moment, and then he found his voice and roared, “I knew it! I bloody knew it!” His fierce blue eyes bored into Ginny’s. “I told you, didn’t I? I knew those bloody wankers were up to no good! But you never listened to me, did you? No, you just had to go and-” he choked a bit, and ground out, “lose… lose your honour-”
That sent Ginny into gales of laughter. Who still used that antiquated word? As she shook with mirth, Ron just stared at her helplessly, still simmering from his emotions. Meanwhile, Harry had scrambled to his feet and grabbed Ginny’s arm again. She was helpless from shaking with laughter, so she posed little trouble as Harry dragged her to the door.
Ginny started to calm down when she noticed that she was on the other side of the door. As Harry moved to slam the door in her face, she elbowed it back open and pushed up close to him. “I can’t believe you, Harry. You know I would never join Voldemort or try to spy on you. I may have been infatuated with you for some time, but I never tried to hassle you, did I? So why would I start now?” Harry just sighed resignedly and raked his fingers through his mussed hair. Ginny plunged on, “And for that matter, I know for sure that Draco and Blaise wouldn’t be caught dead in Voldemort’s service – they hate him with as much passion as you and I do.”
Harry turned his tired emerald eyes to Ginny’s, “I don’t know what to believe about you, Gin.” After a momentary pause, he continued, “Just go, and leave us be,” he whispered, shutting the door in her face.
Standing stock-still, Ginny stared at the closed door in front of her. How had this happened? And was Harry right, had Draco and Blaise really been using her? Had she really been inadvertently spying on Harry this whole time? Before her emotions threatened to overwhelm her, Ginny stumbled up and down the various stairs that led to her dormitory. She succeeded in holding her thoughts at bay as she continued on, but could not hold out against them when she finally plopped into bed. After tucking her sheets under her chin and snuggling deep into the warmth of her bed, Ginny finally let her confusion sweep over her.
Was Harry right about Blaise and Draco? She could still remember Blaise’s contempt as he said, “My parents and the rest of Slytherin can kiss You-Know-Who’s ass anytime they want. That doesn’t mean that I have to.” That had occurred only a month ago, on the train ride to Hogwarts. Ginny was shocked at the proximity of that event, for with everything that had happened since then, it had felt like ages had passed. She remembered how Draco had denied any affiliation with the Death Eaters as well, although he was never as explicit as Blaise was on the subject. She had no reason to believe that they were lying, right?
Now that she thought about it, Blaise had been very vocal about his opinions, almost suspiciously so. Ginny was surprised that the Slytherins hadn’t noticed by now how he felt about Voldemort. And although Draco had never seemed enthusiastic when he was with Slytherins, he never displayed any of his emotions normally. She recalled the day when Harry asked her to Hogsmeade. Both boys had told her that, according to the other Slytherins and their families, they were pretending to befriend Ginny. And yet, all of their actions since then had seemed real. After all, no one could act that well, could they?
Ginny lay stiffly in her bed another thought popped into her head. What if they were pretending? It would be any Slytherin’s triumph – the ultimate deception. For the best lie that they could ever tell her wouldn’t be a lie at all, but the truth.
This prompted Ginny to sift through the mental catalogue of her memories with Draco and Blaise, re-evaluating each one with new eyes. Every happy moment she had spent with them could easily be construed as a lie. All of those nights holed up in empty classrooms – were they merely friendly discussions, or subtle interrogations? The times she had spent with Blaise walking the grounds at Hogwarts or roaming the halls at night… The elation she had felt when she realized she was in love with Draco…
Draco. Just hours ago, she had managed to convince herself that Draco really did care about her. Ginny almost snorted out loud at her own stupidity. How could she have thought that a Slytherin, a Death Eater’s son, and soon-to-be-Voldemort-minion himself would love her? What momentary insanity had possessed her into considering Draco to be a decent guy and a mere victim of his circumstances?
Ginny tossed and turned in her bed, her thoughts waging a war within her head. The most prominent voice was screaming obscenities at Blaise and Draco, indignant at the way they had both obviously betrayed her. But another voice in her head calmly insisted that she had no absolute proof of what Draco and Blaise were doing with Voldemort. It reverberated in the back of her mind, telling her that they were probably simply playing their roles as usual. But those characters were so flawlessly portrayed that Ginny was seriously confused as to which was real and which was fake.
For a minute, the latter voice took precedence in her mind. Hadn’t Blaise told her about the meeting in his note? Ginny sat up in her bed and quietly rummaged about her bedside table until she found the folded piece of parchment. Closing the drapes around her bed, she grabbed her wand, whispered Lumos, and reread the note. She was immediately struck by the vague wording. They had been “summoned” by their parents? She new how independent and arrogant Blaise and Draco were; their parents would have, at most, insisted or demanded. The only one with enough power to “summon” them was Voldemort. After all, evading their parents would be quite easy, but there was no way to do so with Voldemort.
The resentful voice in her head resumed its stream of curses as Ginny let the note slip from her limp fingers. So, she had been used; Blaise and Draco had been forced to meet Voldemort. Why had Blaise lied to her about this? It wasn’t an insignificant fact, but she would have understood why they could not refuse. True, she would have been very worried about them, but she wouldn’t have done anything stupid about it. She did have red hair and she was a Weasley, but that didn’t make her a brainless fool as well. The other voice momentarily poked into her thoughts. What if they had been ordered to meet their parents, and then later had been forced to meet Voldemort? Ginny shook her head dismissively; that seemed too improbable.
And if Blaise had lied to her about something like this, what other untruths had he told her? Were they little white lies, or were they large enough to encompass, say, his true feelings about Voldemort?
Ginny bent down to retrieve the note and replace it to its original location on her bedside table. She returned to her warm cocoon of sheets, still confused and angry over being used and deceived. The exertion of her thoughts finally exhausted her, as she fell into a disturbed sleep.
When Ginny awoke the next morning, she heard a steady murmur of voices from the other side of her dormitory’s closed door. The beds around her were empty, so she walked over to the door and poked her head out into the hallway; the voices seemed to be coming from the common room. She closed the door quickly and busied herself with getting dressed. As she made her way down the stairs from the girls’ dormitory, she passed other students who had also risen late. Apparently, very few people had slept well last night.
Ginny entered the common room, and saw that about half of her fellow Gryffindors were already there, standing about and talking quietly amongst themselves. She saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione in a corner, their heads bent together as usual. Ginny moved towards a couch nearby, prepared to wait quietly with everyone else.
She reclined a bit, for she was still exhausted from worry, anger, and a small amount of fear. Suddenly, she sat up stiffly. Those two bastards, whom she had once considered friends, had also made it impossible for her to have Gryffindor friends! She could still remember Blaise insisting that she sit with the Slytherins at the Quidditch game. “I can’t believe that you keep running to them when they don’t even respect you or like you or… care about you!” The only reason why the Gryffindors didn’t like her was because of him and Draco. The nerve of them! Trying to convince her that she was at fault for being lonely and ignored, while they just barged in and complicated the situation even more.
She sat for a moment, still seething with anger and resentment. Suddenly, her thoughts turned towards revenge. What would be the best way to prove to Blaise and Draco that she didn’t need them, that she was not one to be lied to? She spied Hermione shooting her a worried glance. It clicked in Ginny’s mind in an instant. What better way to annoy those two bastards than by becoming friends with their enemies?
Momentarily, that calm voice in her head wondered why she wanted to turn the tables on them in this way. After all, why would she do the same exact thing back to them? Before Ginny could ponder this, her indignant voice took over and reminded her that they had wounded her heart as well as her pride. And, she assured herself, NO ONE had the right to hurt her pride, for it was the one thing that was uniquely and truly hers. Without another question in her mind, she prepped herself for the role she was about play.
Ginny hid a feral grin as she got up and slowly walked towards Ron, Harry, and Hermione. She knew that she had to play her cards just right if she wanted to be accepted by them again. When she was within earshot, Ron and Harry stopped talking and just stared at her. Ron seemed pitying and disapproving at the same time, while Harry was just malevolent. She stood next to Hermione, paused, and then began, “I- I just wanted to apologize for what I did.” Ginny took a deep breath and steeled her mind; she had to get her expressions and voice just right to make this work. “I was stupid for thinking that Slytherins,” she spat the word out like she had Bubotuber pus in her mouth, “could be human. Or even nice.” She turned wet, doe-like eyes to Harry, and saw him soften imperceptibly as she whispered, “I was so wrong. Please… please believe me when I say that I didn’t spy on you, Harry.” A forced tear slid down Ginny’s cheek, as Hermione wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Ginny shook her head, indicating that she wanted to continue, so Hermione loosened her hold. “Please forgive me, Ron… Harry… Hermione.” As she uttered their names, she looked each of them in the eye with her best pitiful expression.
Hermione smiled and wiped a tear away from her own cheek. “Oh Ginny,” she gushed, “We’re just so happy that they didn’t hurt you!” She released a loud sob, and Ginny suddenly found herself weighed down from a forceful hug. Choking on some bushy brown hair, Ginny hugged back and made a small show of tearful happiness. Inside, she was grinning like a Cheshire cat. It was only a matter of time before Ron gently pried Hermione away from Ginny, and gave his little sister a big hug himself, “I’ll kill them, Gin, for what they did to you,” he whispered as he soothed her tears.
After another tearful embrace, Ginny turned to Harry. She knew she was quite the sad sight, her eyes red, cheeks blotchy, and lips quivering with emotion. She vamped up the pretences a bit, because she knew that Harry still had a soft spot for her. And was she ever right! The minute Harry looked at her shaking shoulders, he pulled her into a tight hug. Ginny just couldn’t resist grinning triumphantly over his shoulder as she hugged him back.
But Harry surprised her when he let go of her, and cradled her face gently in his hands. Ginny’s eyes widened when he began kissing her all over her face. His lips touched her cheeks, temples, nose, chin, jaw, and even the tips of her ears. After he finished, he looked at her from under hooded eyes, and then kissed her just as gently on the lips. Ginny was horrified, but she returned the kiss for the sake of her semblance.
When they finally broke apart, Ginny watched Harry carefully. His hands were still cupping her face when he asked, “Ginny? Did you really… you know, with Zabini?” Ginny almost started laughing, but she shook her head instead. Harry let out a sigh of relief and hugged her tightly again.
They let go of each other when Ron stood next to them and interrupted, “Well, Harry, Ginny, congratulations.” They looked at him with completely different expressions; Harry was happy and proud, while Ginny was startled and worried. What the hell did Ron mean by “congratulations”? Oh no. No, no, NO. She was not going to be Harry’s girlfriend- She was brought out of her thoughts when Ron continued, “Don’t worry, Gin. We’ll never hurt you the way those wankers did.”
“We love you, Ginny,” Hermione added on the other side of the couple. Harry wrapped his arms around Ginny again, as she leaned into him and smiled contentedly at Hermione. Dear Merlin, she had taken this acting a bit too far.
After a few minutes, the portrait hole opened to admit Professor McGonagall. The stern teacher was harsher than ever with her stiff robes and stylishly tilted hat. With an upturned nose, she surveyed the common room, which was now comfortably full with students. “Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley,” she began imperiously, “please search the dormitories for any late-risers.” Hermione and Ron scurried off to do her bidding while the rest of the students quieted down and waited respectfully.
Ron and Hermione soon returned with a few harried first-years. Once they had joined the ranks of the other students, McGonagall opened the portrait hole and ushered the students out of the Tower. After being confined to the tower for nearly an entire day, Ginny felt as though a whiff of fresh air met her as she crawled out of the portrait hole. The other students felt the same way, for they let out a collective sigh of happiness as they crowded the hallway.
Once all of the students had left and the portrait hole had closed, McGonagall led the Gryffindors down to the Great Hall. They passed through the deserted hallways without incident, and arrived safely at the doors to the Great Hall. Ginny let Harry tuck her arm under his as they passed though the doorway and headed towards their table.
But before Ginny moved a few millimeters, Blaise appeared in front of her, relief clearly etched on his face. “Ginevra! I’m so glad-” He broke off when he noticed her arm entwined with Harry’s.
A frown crossed his features, and he opened his mouth again. Ginny beat him to the chase by schooling her features into a scowl as she retorted, “Shove it, Zabini.” She had wanted to sigh with relief when she saw Blaise, but she couldn’t ruin all of her efforts to get back at him.
At these words, Blaise adopted the expression of a flabbergasted fish. Harry immediately cut in, “Enjoy the Crucios, Zabini. I hear they’re quite spectacular for Voldemort’s minions.” With that, he held Ginny’s arm tighter against his body and began drawing her away from Blaise. As Harry turned to face the Gryffindor table, Ginny notice an uncharacteristic, Malfoy-like smirk adorning his features.
Note: All right, before you crucify me for not including any D/G, let me just say: THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL HAVE A LITTLE D/G IN IT!
That said, what do you think of the new Harry/Ginny thing? No, I'm not going too fast with it, because Harry never really said anything to Ginny about a relationship. Ron just started assuming things, like the idiot he normally is. So, on to the rave reviews or flames! I'll take either of them.
Jawy
09.18.04
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