Note: So you guys know, this chapter is 12 pagaes long to commemorate reaching the 100th-review mark at FF.net. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!
I'm empty, lonely, and accused
accused without a word
my fingernails are chipping down
from clawing in the dirt
I'm so lost, lost and confused
I threw it all away
- Skillet
Tears
Although Harry was dragging her away, Ginny remained standing, torn over whether she should explain herself to Blaise. Finally, the haze in her mind cleared and an angry voice within her head refused to listen to Blaise’s excuses. So, she turned her back on Blaise and allowed herself to be hauled off by Harry.
When she reached an empty seat, her curiosity got the best of her; she lifted her eyes and searched for Blaise. She found him with his back towards her, standing right next to Draco. Blaise’s shoulders were tense, and his hands hung limply by his sides. Draco, who was also standing, was facing her with his head tilted towards Blaise’s. Apparently, Blaise was muttering something in his ear. She could see Draco’s grey eyes growing wide with shock and disgust as he listened to his best friend. At that moment, his gaze rested on her, and he gave her the foulest look he had ever given anyone, including Harry or Ron. Ginny blushed guiltily and immediately dropped her eyes.
She sat down at the table stiffly, intensely uncomfortable with the results of her plan. She was saved from wallowing in her misery by a loud clinking of metal against glass. She turned her eyes to the staff table, and found that Dumbledore was standing up with a solemn expression, waiting to speak.
The chatter at the other tables instantly ceased as he began, “My dear students, I would like to apologize for neglecting your dinners last night.” There were a couple of grunts of disapproval from some of the boys at the tables, but the room remained mostly quiet. “As you may already know,” he continued, “Hogsmeade was attacked last night. It is now in the hands of Death Eaters.” Ginny rolled her eyes when a girl squealed of fright; she couldn’t understand why the other students were surprised by the news, for they had already heard it. Dumbledore cleared his throat loudly, and everyone turned their attentions to him once more. “Needless to say, it is now extremely dangerous to leave the castle at any time of day. The Quidditch season has been temporarily postponed, and all Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures classes have been cancelled indefinitely.”
A louder murmur began in the room, but Dumbledore immediately raised his hand, and the students quieted again. “However, all other classes will continue again tomorrow. As the heads of your houses have informed you, more safety precautions must be made, even while inside the castle. Students must travel in groups of no less than three during the day. At night, no one will be allowed outside of their house for any reason.” He looked pointedly at Harry, and continued, “I must insist that all of you respect and follow these rules during these difficult times. As a reward,” he paused with an impish smile. Ginny could have sworn that she saw his eyes twinkling behind his half-moon spectacles. “We will have a feast on Friday evening, to celebrate Halloween. As there will not be a Hogsmeade weekend before it, there will be an informal dance. Students are welcome to dress formally or casually, whichever they prefer. I must insist that everyone attends the feast and the dance, whether it is with a partner or with friends.” A louder, excited murmur broke out amongst the students. Ginny snorted to herself; she had no friends now, and she doubted that she would have a date either. Not bothering to capture the students’ attentions, Dumbledore concluded, “Now, without further ado,” he waved his hands, “let us eat!”
Ginny had barely listened to him, and was quite startled when food suddenly appeared on the table before her. She began to serve herself mechanically, reaching for food that she would normally eat, but she was not conscious of what she was doing. While her hands moved, Ginny’s thoughts turned to Blaise and Draco. Yes, she had achieved her goal; both boys had been coldly rebuffed, and they knew that she was aware of their meeting with Voldemort. But everything else had gone to hell. Blaise now thought that she had run straight into Harry’s arms, while Draco was sneering at her like she was something smelly on the sole of his shoe. If she hadn’t bothered to say anything, at least Draco and Blaise would keep her company during the feast, instead of Harry. Maybe she would have been able to dance with Draco, and finally feel him hold her…
She flushed with embarrassment, quickly looking around to ensure that no one was watching her. But, once again, no one was paying any attention to her. She noticed that her fellow Gryffindors seemed to tolerate her presence, following the lead of their hero and best friends. However, they still talked around her, never offering to include her in their conversations. Ginny was quite offended by their fluctuating loyalty to her; as she thought it over, she grew frustrated. Didn’t these fools know how to think for themselves rather than following Harry’s actions blindly? True, Harry would be their savior and leader once Voldemort was defeated, but that status didn’t mean that he was a god!
Ginny turned her attention back to her food in an effort to curb her anger. As she ate, she looked around the hall with a bored expression. She was startled to find that most of the students at the other tables were watching her surreptitiously and whispering to themselves. Ginny rolled her eyes inwardly, and turned her attention back to her plate. She knew that they were probably gossiping about her sudden change in companions, and what a slut she was for jumping from Blaise to Harry. Just a month ago, the knowledge that she was the subject of gossip would have riled her anger; now, she simply shrugged it off and continued eating.
Once dinner was done, Ron, Hermione, and Harry escorted her out of the hall. Before they reached the Gryffindor Tower, Harry gave Ron and Hermione a silent look and steered Ginny off to a deserted classroom. Ginny followed unresistingly, for she had an idea of what was about to come. Once they were both inside the classroom, Ginny took a seat at a desk while Harry locked the door with his wand and cast a spell to prevent anyone from listening to them. Ginny watched him doing this, and when he turned to face her, she saw that his green eyes seemed brighter than ever. She dropped her eyes from his quickly and began to fidget. Just how was she going to tell Harry that she still wasn’t interested in him?
Harry smiled at her, and sat in the seat right in front of her. He twisted around to face her, and captured her nervously cold hands in his. “Ginny,” he began, trying to get her attention. Ginny lifted her eyes to his once more, almost afraid of what she would see. Her heart sank when she saw that he was smiling softly at her. “I… I wanted to ask you-”
Determined to stop him, Ginny put on her best teary-eyed expression and interrupted, “Harry, I- I don’t think I can go to the dance with you.”
His green eyes widened with shock, and he dropped her hands with disappointment. “Why not?” he asked harshly, as he stood up and turned away from her.
She sighed inwardly; she should have known that Harry would take this badly. “I’ve been so hurt by Blaise and Draco, Harry,” she said gently. “I just don’t know if I could handle a relationship or dating right now.” With a whisper, she continued, “Couldn’t… couldn’t we wait just a bit?”
He turned back to her and asked vehemently, “I don’t see why. Those wankers never cared about you, and you know it.” Harry dropped back into his seat, and said soothingly, “Why do you still care about them, Ginny? You know that I care for you more than they ever pretended to. Why go on hurting, when you can be happy with me?”
Ginny gaped at him, shocked at his eloquence. She searched her mind for a suitable reply, but was distracted by a nagging thought in the back of her mind. She had experienced a strange sense of déjà vu when he spoke those words. After some thought, she finally realized why that impassioned speech had seemed so familiar. She remembered Blaise’s words in the Astronomy Tower, the night that Ginny had agreed to be his girlfriend. “You can tell me everything and trust me completely. I’ll never hurt you…” Ginny sighed with nostalgia; everything had seemed so perfect that night – before he lied to her about his meeting with Voldemort.
Ginny refocused her eyes on Harry’s, and found him watching her speculatively. There was something distinctly shifty and Slytherin in that gaze. She shivered involuntarily, and suddenly felt like a pawn. Blaise and Draco had used her, and now she knew that Harry was somehow twisting this situation in his favor. Without wondering why Harry would bother to do such a thing, Ginny immediately felt her eyes harden resentfully. She refused to be used anymore. And how dare he try to do so, when he almost killed her last night! Before she could stop herself, Ginny blurted out her thoughts to him.
She felt like time slowed as she watched his face twist into a nasty sneer. “So? I made a mistake by accusing you of being a spy,” he spat out. Ginny was furious at his lack of remorse, and stood up angrily. Before she could retort back, he jumped to his feet and glared at her. “So, you’re still in love with your precious Slytherins?” he asked intensely. “Well, you can have them! You were never worth the effort, anyway.” He turned, unlocked the door, removed the silencing charms, and stormed out.
For the second time that night, Ginny had been utterly floored by Harry’s actions. What in bloody hell was wrong with him? She shook her head in amazement and left the room, slowly and stealthily making her way to the Gryffindor common room. The Fat Lady looked at her very disapprovingly as she gave the password, but nevertheless allowed her to enter. Once she had crawled her way through and stood up, she noticed Ron and Hermione seated on a nearby sofa, watching her with stony expressions.
Apprehensively, Ginny slowly walked to them. “What’s wrong?” she asked, with a puzzled look on her face.
Ron’s eyes seemed to blaze as he jumped up and glared at her. “How could you just use Harry like that?” he demanded.
Ginny frowned and replied, “I never used him for anything. He just assumed-”
“Well, you never said anything to stop him from assuming, did you?” Ron returned, his arms folded across his chest. Hermione quickly rose from her seat and placed a placating hand on Ron’s shoulder.
“Now, Ron-” his girlfriend began.
Ron just shook her hand off impatiently, wagging his finger in front of Ginny’s face as he said, “I can’t believe the bloody idiot still loves you. You certainly don’t deserve it!”
Ginny blinked, stunned by the forcefulness of his words. Ron continued to stare her in the eyes, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. Hermione was watching them fearfully, her hand hovering near the wand in her pocket. After a few moments of intense staring, Ron snorted with disgust and left for his dormitory, pushing past Ginny forcefully.
She stumbled a bit, but gained her bearings as she watched her once-beloved brother storming up the stairs to his room. What was wrong with him? Did he actually expect her to be in love with Harry, especially after last night? She turned to Hermione, her eyes pleading for an explanation.
But Hermione turned disappointed eyes to Ginny’s and said, “He is right, in a way. I thought you were in love with Harry for so many years, Ginny.” She whispered, “Why did you have to go to Zabini and pretend to love him? Were you actually trying to make Harry jealous?” She paused and peered at Ginny speculatively. “Well, it worked, because he was completely heartbroken.” She sighed, and shook her head. “I can’t believe you would do that to someone like Harry. You know, I never thought I’d say this,” she turned her sorrowful eyes back to Ginny’s, “but he deserves someone better than you.” With that quiet bomb, Hermione made her way to her own room.
Shocked and utterly confused, Ginny sank down on the sofa and buried her head in her hands. She didn’t cry, however, because she really wasn’t sorry to see Ron and Hermione leave her. But what in Merlin’s name had just happened? Why did everyone think that she was leading Harry on? She could have sworn that her refusal to his invitation to Hogsmeade was clear. She fumed silently, thinking about how she was more entitled to a pity party than Harry was. Her first year, she was possessed by Voldemort because of Lucius Malfoy. Until her third year, she had been in love with Harry Potter, but he had barely spared her a glance. This year, she had become friends with Blaise and Draco, but had been used by them and tossed away like rubbish. Then, Harry had tried to strangle her, and accused her of being a slut. Hell, even her own brother accused her of being one! Now, everyone in this bloody school considered her a slut. With a defeated sigh, Ginny trudged up the stairs to her dormitory room, and fell into an exhausted slumber.
She was running through the common room and out of the portrait hole so quickly that it seemed a Dementor was chasing her. She managed to slow down a bit when she almost collided into a person standing right in front of the portrait, obviously waiting for her. Before she could catch her breath, this unknown person grabbed her arm and ran towards the Astronomy Tower, forcing her to follow. As they raced up the winding stairs, Ginny’s head reeled with dizziness. But she was not allowed any respite from the maniacally frantic person in front of her.
They finally reached the top of the tower, and stopped. Ginny bent down and grabbed her knees as she stood, panting from the exertion. Once she had gained her bearings, she looked up and found herself gazing at Draco Malfoy. He was just as winded as she was, but he was staring up at the night sky.
They remained like that for a while, not speaking to each other. Ginny’s breaths finally slowed down, and she shivered involuntarily from the cold. Her movement caught Draco’s attention, and he turned to face her. His sharp gray eyes pierced hers for a moment. Then, with a sad smile, he climbed up onto the short stonewall that separated them from the night air. Before Ginny comprehended what was happening, she saw him disappear in a flurry of flapping black robes.
“No!” she cried out, rushing to the edge of the parapet, looking down into the inky blackness below. Although she searched for him, she could not find his telltale blonde hair and pale skin in the murkiness. Sobs racked her body as she finally realized that she had lost Draco.
After a minute, she heard loud footsteps behind her. She swiveled around, and found herself face-to-face with Blaise. Her wavering smile of greeting gradually turned into a frown of worry as she watched his furious expression. “You- you-” he spluttered, “you… just let him fall!”
Ginny began to protest, but she was stopped when he grasped her shoulders and squeezed them hard. “How could you, Ginevra?” he whispered furiously. She couldn’t think up an answer, for her mind was blank with shock. She didn’t know he was going to jump! She would have stopped him, if-
“How could you, Ginevra?” Blaise growled, angry that she didn’t answer him. But before she could begin to answer in her own defense, his hands moved up to encircle her neck. “How could you!” he screamed maniacally as his grip tightened. Ginny gasped in surprise, and she felt a familiar dizziness from lack of oxygen. She slowly lost sense of her surroundings, and could barely feel Blaise picking her up by her neck, and lifting her over the parapet. All of a sudden, she looked around her and found that she was dangling by her neck. Her hands reached up to claw at Blaise’s wrists, but his hold was firm. “How could you?” his voice echoed in the swirling darkness that surrounded her. Her vision grew blurry, and she knew that she was losing consciousness. The last thing that she saw before she went blind was his light blue eyes, blazing at her in fury.
But she didn’t lose consciousness. Her vision actually cleared slightly, as the blue eyes that bored into hers turned a darker shade. Blaise’s aristocratic nose slowly grew longer, and his hair began to redden. Before long, Ginny realized that she was staring at Ron. Ron was yelling at her, “… you slut! You’re a disgrace to the Weasley name! How could you do that to Harry?” His grip on her throat tightened as she tried to scream, struggling to break free from his grasp. “How could you?” echoed around her, as everything slowly faded away, except for his dark blue eyes.
Her vision cleared again, and those familiar blue eyes became a brilliant emerald. Ron’s gangly frame shortened and his bright hair darkened, until Harry stood before her. He was shouting at her, “I loved you, you spy! And you consider yourself a Gryffindor? How could you betray us like that? How could you betray me?” Ginny saw her world darken again, as she heard “How could you?” reverberating in her head.
Once again, her vision sharpened a bit. This time, Harry’s eyes turned a dark, chocolate brown, and his unruly hair became longer, frizzier, and... bushier. She let out a strangled gasp of surprise when she saw Hermione standing in front of her. Both of them stared at each other for a moment. Then, Hermione smirked, and released her hold on Ginny’s neck. Ginny screamed hoarsely as she hurtled down into the blackness beneath her…
Ginny sat up in bed, sweating and panting. As her rapidly beating heart slowed, she realized that she was just dreaming. But that dream had been so frighteningly real. She closed her eyes, causing her feet to remember the terrifying sensation of dangling in thin air. She opened her eyes again, and checked her clock. She had only been asleep for a mere two hours. With a defeated sigh, she lay down again, and attempted to fall asleep.
Three days passed with an agonizing slowness. Because the students were not allowed out of the castle, Hogwarts was essentially under siege. There had been no attack on the castle, but students caught glimpses of people in black cloaks in the shadows of the Forbidden Forest when they peered out of the windows. Parents worried about their children, owled constantly and berated Fudge for not protecting Hogwarts and Hogsmeade better. The telltale pops of apparating Aurors and ministry officials had become commonplace. Between the students, teachers, officials, Aurors, and fugitives from Hogsmeade, the castle was a hubbub of activity.
Ginny’s classes went by smoothly, or as smoothly as could be expected. The students’ class work suffered from their worries and frights. So many charms, transfigurations, and potions had gone haywire in those few days that the hospital wing was filled to maximum capacity, and classes had been cancelled yet again. At any given moment, Madame Pomfrey could be spotted bustling about like a chicken without its head. Snape was often with her, sneering at students as he ladled out potions and ridicule with equanimity.
Surprisingly, Harry called a secret meeting of the DA on Tuesday night. Ginny attended along with the other members that had been there during her fourth year. When Ginny had entered the room, she noticed that everyone was staring at her with hostile eyes. Conscious of the attention she was getting, Ginny demurely took a seat close to the wall. Once everyone had settled in, Harry looked over them with serious eyes and began, “I’m glad to see that you guys are still willing to continue the DA. I’ve called this meeting-“
“Why is she here?” Ernie Macmillan rudely interrupted, with a pointed stare at Ginny.
Ginny’s face blanched when she heard agreeing murmurs from the rest of the room. Hermione stood up and said, “Well, she’s still a member, even though she’s made some unfortunate choices…” she trailed off miserably.
Angrily, Ginny stood up and said, “I’m still loyal to Harry, you know. Just because I became friends with Slytherins doesn’t mean-“
“But Ginny,” a quiet voice interrupted. Ginny looked at Luna Lovegood with shock as the other girl gently continued, “there’s a reason why Slytherins aren’t allowed in the DA. They’re untrustworthy, and since you were associated with them, we’re not sure if we can trust you either.”
“That’s ridiculous!” Ginny retorted. She paused, trying to think of a way to prove her loyalty to the group. Then, she realized that the entire room was silently watching her with mistrustful eyes. Warily, she asked, “Does everyone feel this way?”
Everyone dropped their eyes shamefully. Ginny sighed dejectedly, for it was obvious that no one trusted her. She was about to drop back into her seat when Hermione piped up, “Why don’t we put it to a vote?” Everyone looked at her incredulously, so she hastily added, “We’ll use a silent vote.” With a flick of her wand, a piece of parchment and a quill sat in everyone’s lap. “Do you think Ginevra Weasley should remain in the DA? Write down ‘yes’ or ‘no’.”
For a moment, the only sound in the room was the scratching of quills against stiff parchment. “Time,” Hermione called after a minute. All of the parchments vanished from their laps and appeared on Hermione’s. The bushy-haired girl read them all quietly, and then turned pitying eyes to Ginny’s.
With a heavy heart, Ginny had watched Hermione get up and magically erase her name from their list. Ginny tried to keep her motions steady and calm as she got up and left the room. Once the door closed behind her, she ran back to her room. She dropped into bed, closed the drapes around her bed and cast a Silencing charm on them before the tears erupted; she sobbed so heart wrenchingly loud that she sounded like a mournful wolf. That night, Ginny knew that she had reached the lowest pit of despair. She could not help but wonder if things would ever look up again.
Ginny mused about these recent events as she lay in her bed, quite awake. It was Thursday night, and she had been unable to get a decent night’s sleep since that horrific dream on Sunday. She had wasted away the days alone, and utterly bored. She had glimpsed Draco and Blaise in the halls between classes, but they both ignored her and pretended as though she didn’t exist. Harry, Ron, and Hermione had decidedly given her the cold shoulder, and plotted in secrecy. Even the other Gryffindors did not bother to talk to her or acknowledge her presence.
Angrily, Ginny tossed back her covers and got out of bed. There was no point in staying in bed, for her attempts at sleep were futile. She quietly shut the door to her dorm room, silently making her way down the stairs to the common room. Ginny was at her wit’s end, but at least the common room would be a welcome relief from the monotony of her day. She snuggled into her favorite chair comfortably, and stared at the fire; her thoughts immediately turning to Blaise and Draco.
“Oh, drat it,” she huffed indignantly as she hoisted herself out of her chair and searched for something to read. At this point, even a Playwizard would be a welcome relief from her misery and loneliness. But all she found was a dog-eared copy of Witch Weekly that was five months out-of-date. She flipped through it with a bored expression. “How to Snag A Date” screamed an article title. Ginny groaned as she remembered the dance that would take place tomorrow evening. Not only was she dateless, but she also no longer had any friends to go with! Irritably, she tossed the magazine aside.
What she needed was a really good distraction, something that would keep her mind occupied. She snorted derisively to herself. Who was she kidding? There was nothing interesting going on in this school since the siege began. Hell, students couldn’t even roam around the halls after curfew, which had been bumped up to 8:00 pm, instead of the customary 10:00 pm. She stared about her with disgust, and could almost feel herself sneering at the situation.
Her eyes momentarily rested on the wide bay window in the common room. She had felt so cooped up in the castle the past three days. She missed watching the lake as the wind whipped her hair and robes around in great swirls that surrounded her. She wanted to see the water’s silvery ripples in the moonlight, and imagine that Draco was holding her… She shook her head sadly. Harry was right; she had to give up on Draco and Blaise at some point. She couldn’t keep mooning on about them, when they didn’t even acknowledge her presence.
She moved to the window seat and stared at the dark and mysterious world that was outside, just beyond her reach. Ginny rested her forehead against the cold glass and watched as her warm breath condensed on the window, fogging it. They weren’t even allowed to open the windows in the castle, for fear of unwelcome entrances by Death Eaters. As Ginny sat in thought, she felt her frustration and boredom build up inside her. In a split second, she decided that she had had quite enough with these new safety precautions. Without another thought, she reached over and released the window latch. As she slowly opened the window, she reveled at the touch of the cold, harsh wind as it coursed around her. For the first time that week, she felt happy and carefree. The only times she had ever really felt that way was when she was flying. Ginny started, and closed the window quickly. What would happen if she flew out of the window? She would be able to leave the castle and maybe make her way down to the lake.
Her fit of impulsiveness continued as she scampered up the stairs to her dormitory, and slowly crept to her bed. Once she had slipped on her cloak and a pair of shoes, she grabbed her broom and headed back down to the common room. She propped open the window with her elbow while she managed to mount her broom. With a quick movement, she jumped off the ledge and let the window shut behind her.
Ginny flew around for a bit, enjoying the cold bitter scent of the air as she moved. She did all of the daring moves that she had learned from watching her brothers and Harry playing Quidditch. After she had had her fill, she flew to the edge of the lake and landed. She walked around carefully, searching for the exact spot where she and Draco had stood that night. She sat down and drew her knees to her chin as she gazed out to the water.
It was a clear night, unlike that time that she had been there with Draco. The moon was full and outlined beautifully in the black sky. It seemed so close that Ginny could see the dark shadows that dotted it. The water was just as calm as it had been that evening, and the moon and the hills were reflected just as perfectly.
Ginny sighed with contentment; this sight was worth every risk that she had taken. She was surrounded by quiet, for even the trees didn’t rustle loudly in the slight breeze. When Ginny had seen her fill of the lake, she rested her forehead on her knees and closed her eyes. She didn’t know how to describe it, but she almost felt a sense of closure. Even though she had reached the bottom earlier that day, she finally felt confident enough to deal with everything that had happened. She could accept the fact that Gryffindor scorned her. She could deal with being talked about by nearly every wagging tongue in school. She could finally get over Blaise and Draco-
No. She stopped that thought from continuing. She could not let Blaise and Draco go just yet. She needed to ask them why. Why had they used her? She couldn’t believe that they became friends with her to spy on Harry. They knew that Harry had basically rejected her the moment she had become friends with Blaise and Draco. They also didn’t try to take advantage of her sexually. All she had with Blaise were some heated snogs. Draco barely even touched her, and when he did, he simply gave her one-armed hugs or tucked her arm under his. Suddenly, Ginny remembered standing in the shadows near the Great Hall as Draco touched his lips to her neck. She could feel the blood rushing to her face as she blushed hotly. The git hadn’t even kissed her neck; he had only breathed against her skin, but that simple gesture had filled her intensely with desire.
“Those bloody gits still have a hold on me,” Ginny murmured against her knees. Why had they even tried to influence her? Were they just wasting time, playing around with an innocent Gryffindor? Had she been a challenge because she used to be unattainable? Ginny tried to rationalize it all in her mind, but she kept getting more and more confused. The only way she could ever understand it would be if they explained it to her themselves.
Ginny resolutely pushed all of her thoughts aside and cleared her mind. She knew that it would be quite some time until she could sit by the lake again in the still of the night. So, she was determined to enjoy her time out as much as possible.
The hours flew by, for Ginny was not keeping track of time as she relaxed. She checked her watch and discovered that it was nearly three in the morning. She slowly got to her feet and began to mount her broom when she was stopped by a startled, “Ginevra?” Ginny looked around quickly, and saw Draco rushing up to her. As he neared her, she saw that his face was contorted in rage, but his eyes seemed very worried. When he finally caught up to her, he whispered fiercely, “What in bloody hell are you doing out here?”
“I couldn’t sleep,” Ginny shrugged nonchalantly as she resumed mounting her broom. Before she could kick off the ground, Draco reached out and grabbed her broom handle firmly.
“This place is crawling with Aurors!” he hissed at her. “If they see anyone riding around, they won’t hesitate to curse you first and ask questions later. Come on,” he urged, grabbing her arm, “let’s go back in.”
Ginny struggled against him for a minute. “Let go of me, you… you… Death Eater!” she screamed in a sudden rage. Draco gave her an evil glare, clapped his hand over her mouth, twisted her hands behind her back, and forced her to walk back to the castle with him. She was so stunned by his actions that she nearly dropped her broom, but he grabbed that as well and tucked it under his arm.
“Let’s go,” he hissed murderously. Ginny slumped her shoulders in defeat and allowed him to drag her back to the castle. When they were finally inside the castle, Draco checked to make sure that they hadn’t been detected, before leading her to an isolated alcove. Draco stared at her for a moment, his hand still covering her mouth, and whispered, “I just have one question for you, Ginevra. Why the hell did you run back to Potter?”
He released his hold on her, and Ginny took a deep breath, thankful that she was unharmed. Then, she turned her furious eyes to Draco’s and scornfully said, “You have a question for me? I’m the one who deserves the explanation, you git! Why in bloody hell didn’t you tell me about your rendezvous with Voldemort?”
Draco had the good sense to look a bit sheepish at her accusation. “Blaise didn’t want to scare you,” he mumbled.
“He didn’t want to scare me?” she asked with a sarcastic laugh. “Need I remind you two that I had to deal with Tom Riddle when I was a first-year? I think I’ve learned since then how to handle bad situations.”
Draco merely glared at her and said harshly, “I answered your question, Ginevra. Now it’s your turn to answer mine.”
Ginny lifted her chin haughtily, “What does it matter to you, Malfoy, if I’m friends with Harry? It’s not like you’ve ever cared about my feelings before.”
She immediately regretted saying those words. Draco’s face twisted momentarily into a grimace of pain, and then it was replaced with a sneer. “You’re right, Weasley,” he emphasized. “I never did anything to help you, did I? I was just the typical Slytherin git that I’ve always been. I never knew how to calm you down,” he began to count on his fingers. “I’ve never cared about your safety. I’ve never-”
Ginny interrupted him by lightly pressing her fingers to his mouth. “Enough,” she whispered and dropped her eyes shyly. “I’m sorry. I… I just overreacted by going to Harry.” She turned her eyes back to his, silently pleading for him to understand. But Draco didn’t seem to have heard her words, for his eyes were raking over her body hungrily. Ginny gasped in surprise and began to draw her hand away from his mouth, but Draco grasped her wrist in his hands and twined his fingers with hers.
“I still can’t believe you did it, Gin,” he whispered, his eyes showing betrayal.
She released his grasp and crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. “Then maybe you wouldn’t mind telling me exactly why you were meeting with Voldemort, Malfoy,” she asked imperiously.
Draco looked back at her resignedly and said, “I… I can’t, Ginevra.”
“Oh?” Ginny asked archly. Inside, her heart sank with dread. Was Draco really a Death Eater, or in line to become one? “And why can’t you tell me?”
As though he was reading her mind, Draco replied harshly, “How dare you-” He broke off with a gasp, as though someone was choking him. With a cough, he replied, “I can’t tell you why.”
Her eyes bugged out of her head. “What?” she cried incredulously. “You… you can’t be a Death Eater, Draco!”
He just looked back at her helplessly, remaining silent.
“I can’t bloody believe this,” Ginny mumbled to herself. She took a step back from him, still staring at him. With an accusing tone, she whispered, “So that’s why Blaise didn’t want to tell me that you two were going to Voldemort. And I’ll bet my bloody broom that he’s become one, too.” She looked at Draco questioningly; he just stared back stoically, not uttering a single sound. In fact, she couldn’t even read his real emotions in his gray, murky eyes.
Ginny sighed in defeat, turning to grab her broom and make her way back to the Gryffindor Tower. Before she moved two steps, a firm hand grasped her arm. “Don’t-” Draco began in a weak voice.
She turned back to face him, her eyes blazing in righteous anger. “Get your filthy hands off of me, you traitor!” she hissed as she yanked her arm away. Draco looked at her with sad eyes, but Ginny just huffed indignantly and left.
As Ginny moved through the halls silently, her mind was in a haze. Those bloody… wankers had lied to her. How could she have been so stupid to think that Slytherins could be good in any sense of the word? To top it off, she was in love with one of them, and had snogged the other one regularly! Why the hell did she always fall for the worst guys-
Ginny’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of voices. She looked around frantically, trying to find a safe place to hide. With a sigh of relief, she spotted a tapestry a meter away from her. She hurried towards it, and quickly hid behind the heavy hanging. As the voices drew nearer, Ginny propped her broom against the wall and stiffened, hoping that she would not make a visible movement. But curiosity got the best of her, so she peered around the side of the tapestry cautiously as the voices became clearer.
“-but is it really safe, Albus?” asked a female, who was unmistakably Professor McGonagall. As the teacher drew nearer, Ginny saw that Dumbledore and Snape had accompanied her. McGonagall’s back was to Ginny, while Dumbledore and Professor Snape stood closely to her left. Ginny almost gasped audibly when Dumbledore’s twinkling blue eyes rested on hers.
She quickly withdrew her head, but Dumbledore began, “Yes, but we must still be prepared, Minerva. He may try tomorrow; he may not. But, as an esteemed friend of ours always says, ‘constant vigilance is key.’” A light chuckle emanated from all three professors present. Ginny paled slightly when she heard the gruff sound of Professor Snape. Did the man actually know how to laugh?
The subject of Ginny’s thoughts interjected, “Come, let us continue setting up the wards.” She heard the three professors’ whispered banter trail off as they turned a corner and walked away from her hiding place. Ginny sighed with relief when she realized that she would not be punished, even though Dumbledore had seen her.
Ginny nearly flew through the halls in her haste to reach the Gryffindor Tower. She was not going to tempt fate by loitering when Filch and other Aurors were still about. As she hastily whispered the password and climbed through the portrait hole, she suddenly recalled the professors’ conversation. As she climbed into bed, her last conscious thought was, whom had they been talking about?
Note: Major thanks to my beta dracosslytheringal. I know, I know, I keep forgetting that extra "s."
So, what did you guys think? Like the little cliffie?
All right, I have two things to say:
1) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! I really want to hear what you guys think about the story, even if you're ambivalent about it. I do listen to my reviewers, you know. In the last chapter, one of my reviewers at ff.net asked me to cut down on the cursing, so I tried to do that in this chapter. You guys asked for D/G, and I tried to deliver. So PLEASE tell me what you think!
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Till next time (it might be awhile - I feel a bit drained),
Jawy
09.25.04
accused without a word
my fingernails are chipping down
from clawing in the dirt
I'm so lost, lost and confused
I threw it all away
- Skillet
Tears
Although Harry was dragging her away, Ginny remained standing, torn over whether she should explain herself to Blaise. Finally, the haze in her mind cleared and an angry voice within her head refused to listen to Blaise’s excuses. So, she turned her back on Blaise and allowed herself to be hauled off by Harry.
When she reached an empty seat, her curiosity got the best of her; she lifted her eyes and searched for Blaise. She found him with his back towards her, standing right next to Draco. Blaise’s shoulders were tense, and his hands hung limply by his sides. Draco, who was also standing, was facing her with his head tilted towards Blaise’s. Apparently, Blaise was muttering something in his ear. She could see Draco’s grey eyes growing wide with shock and disgust as he listened to his best friend. At that moment, his gaze rested on her, and he gave her the foulest look he had ever given anyone, including Harry or Ron. Ginny blushed guiltily and immediately dropped her eyes.
She sat down at the table stiffly, intensely uncomfortable with the results of her plan. She was saved from wallowing in her misery by a loud clinking of metal against glass. She turned her eyes to the staff table, and found that Dumbledore was standing up with a solemn expression, waiting to speak.
The chatter at the other tables instantly ceased as he began, “My dear students, I would like to apologize for neglecting your dinners last night.” There were a couple of grunts of disapproval from some of the boys at the tables, but the room remained mostly quiet. “As you may already know,” he continued, “Hogsmeade was attacked last night. It is now in the hands of Death Eaters.” Ginny rolled her eyes when a girl squealed of fright; she couldn’t understand why the other students were surprised by the news, for they had already heard it. Dumbledore cleared his throat loudly, and everyone turned their attentions to him once more. “Needless to say, it is now extremely dangerous to leave the castle at any time of day. The Quidditch season has been temporarily postponed, and all Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures classes have been cancelled indefinitely.”
A louder murmur began in the room, but Dumbledore immediately raised his hand, and the students quieted again. “However, all other classes will continue again tomorrow. As the heads of your houses have informed you, more safety precautions must be made, even while inside the castle. Students must travel in groups of no less than three during the day. At night, no one will be allowed outside of their house for any reason.” He looked pointedly at Harry, and continued, “I must insist that all of you respect and follow these rules during these difficult times. As a reward,” he paused with an impish smile. Ginny could have sworn that she saw his eyes twinkling behind his half-moon spectacles. “We will have a feast on Friday evening, to celebrate Halloween. As there will not be a Hogsmeade weekend before it, there will be an informal dance. Students are welcome to dress formally or casually, whichever they prefer. I must insist that everyone attends the feast and the dance, whether it is with a partner or with friends.” A louder, excited murmur broke out amongst the students. Ginny snorted to herself; she had no friends now, and she doubted that she would have a date either. Not bothering to capture the students’ attentions, Dumbledore concluded, “Now, without further ado,” he waved his hands, “let us eat!”
Ginny had barely listened to him, and was quite startled when food suddenly appeared on the table before her. She began to serve herself mechanically, reaching for food that she would normally eat, but she was not conscious of what she was doing. While her hands moved, Ginny’s thoughts turned to Blaise and Draco. Yes, she had achieved her goal; both boys had been coldly rebuffed, and they knew that she was aware of their meeting with Voldemort. But everything else had gone to hell. Blaise now thought that she had run straight into Harry’s arms, while Draco was sneering at her like she was something smelly on the sole of his shoe. If she hadn’t bothered to say anything, at least Draco and Blaise would keep her company during the feast, instead of Harry. Maybe she would have been able to dance with Draco, and finally feel him hold her…
She flushed with embarrassment, quickly looking around to ensure that no one was watching her. But, once again, no one was paying any attention to her. She noticed that her fellow Gryffindors seemed to tolerate her presence, following the lead of their hero and best friends. However, they still talked around her, never offering to include her in their conversations. Ginny was quite offended by their fluctuating loyalty to her; as she thought it over, she grew frustrated. Didn’t these fools know how to think for themselves rather than following Harry’s actions blindly? True, Harry would be their savior and leader once Voldemort was defeated, but that status didn’t mean that he was a god!
Ginny turned her attention back to her food in an effort to curb her anger. As she ate, she looked around the hall with a bored expression. She was startled to find that most of the students at the other tables were watching her surreptitiously and whispering to themselves. Ginny rolled her eyes inwardly, and turned her attention back to her plate. She knew that they were probably gossiping about her sudden change in companions, and what a slut she was for jumping from Blaise to Harry. Just a month ago, the knowledge that she was the subject of gossip would have riled her anger; now, she simply shrugged it off and continued eating.
Once dinner was done, Ron, Hermione, and Harry escorted her out of the hall. Before they reached the Gryffindor Tower, Harry gave Ron and Hermione a silent look and steered Ginny off to a deserted classroom. Ginny followed unresistingly, for she had an idea of what was about to come. Once they were both inside the classroom, Ginny took a seat at a desk while Harry locked the door with his wand and cast a spell to prevent anyone from listening to them. Ginny watched him doing this, and when he turned to face her, she saw that his green eyes seemed brighter than ever. She dropped her eyes from his quickly and began to fidget. Just how was she going to tell Harry that she still wasn’t interested in him?
Harry smiled at her, and sat in the seat right in front of her. He twisted around to face her, and captured her nervously cold hands in his. “Ginny,” he began, trying to get her attention. Ginny lifted her eyes to his once more, almost afraid of what she would see. Her heart sank when she saw that he was smiling softly at her. “I… I wanted to ask you-”
Determined to stop him, Ginny put on her best teary-eyed expression and interrupted, “Harry, I- I don’t think I can go to the dance with you.”
His green eyes widened with shock, and he dropped her hands with disappointment. “Why not?” he asked harshly, as he stood up and turned away from her.
She sighed inwardly; she should have known that Harry would take this badly. “I’ve been so hurt by Blaise and Draco, Harry,” she said gently. “I just don’t know if I could handle a relationship or dating right now.” With a whisper, she continued, “Couldn’t… couldn’t we wait just a bit?”
He turned back to her and asked vehemently, “I don’t see why. Those wankers never cared about you, and you know it.” Harry dropped back into his seat, and said soothingly, “Why do you still care about them, Ginny? You know that I care for you more than they ever pretended to. Why go on hurting, when you can be happy with me?”
Ginny gaped at him, shocked at his eloquence. She searched her mind for a suitable reply, but was distracted by a nagging thought in the back of her mind. She had experienced a strange sense of déjà vu when he spoke those words. After some thought, she finally realized why that impassioned speech had seemed so familiar. She remembered Blaise’s words in the Astronomy Tower, the night that Ginny had agreed to be his girlfriend. “You can tell me everything and trust me completely. I’ll never hurt you…” Ginny sighed with nostalgia; everything had seemed so perfect that night – before he lied to her about his meeting with Voldemort.
Ginny refocused her eyes on Harry’s, and found him watching her speculatively. There was something distinctly shifty and Slytherin in that gaze. She shivered involuntarily, and suddenly felt like a pawn. Blaise and Draco had used her, and now she knew that Harry was somehow twisting this situation in his favor. Without wondering why Harry would bother to do such a thing, Ginny immediately felt her eyes harden resentfully. She refused to be used anymore. And how dare he try to do so, when he almost killed her last night! Before she could stop herself, Ginny blurted out her thoughts to him.
She felt like time slowed as she watched his face twist into a nasty sneer. “So? I made a mistake by accusing you of being a spy,” he spat out. Ginny was furious at his lack of remorse, and stood up angrily. Before she could retort back, he jumped to his feet and glared at her. “So, you’re still in love with your precious Slytherins?” he asked intensely. “Well, you can have them! You were never worth the effort, anyway.” He turned, unlocked the door, removed the silencing charms, and stormed out.
For the second time that night, Ginny had been utterly floored by Harry’s actions. What in bloody hell was wrong with him? She shook her head in amazement and left the room, slowly and stealthily making her way to the Gryffindor common room. The Fat Lady looked at her very disapprovingly as she gave the password, but nevertheless allowed her to enter. Once she had crawled her way through and stood up, she noticed Ron and Hermione seated on a nearby sofa, watching her with stony expressions.
Apprehensively, Ginny slowly walked to them. “What’s wrong?” she asked, with a puzzled look on her face.
Ron’s eyes seemed to blaze as he jumped up and glared at her. “How could you just use Harry like that?” he demanded.
Ginny frowned and replied, “I never used him for anything. He just assumed-”
“Well, you never said anything to stop him from assuming, did you?” Ron returned, his arms folded across his chest. Hermione quickly rose from her seat and placed a placating hand on Ron’s shoulder.
“Now, Ron-” his girlfriend began.
Ron just shook her hand off impatiently, wagging his finger in front of Ginny’s face as he said, “I can’t believe the bloody idiot still loves you. You certainly don’t deserve it!”
Ginny blinked, stunned by the forcefulness of his words. Ron continued to stare her in the eyes, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. Hermione was watching them fearfully, her hand hovering near the wand in her pocket. After a few moments of intense staring, Ron snorted with disgust and left for his dormitory, pushing past Ginny forcefully.
She stumbled a bit, but gained her bearings as she watched her once-beloved brother storming up the stairs to his room. What was wrong with him? Did he actually expect her to be in love with Harry, especially after last night? She turned to Hermione, her eyes pleading for an explanation.
But Hermione turned disappointed eyes to Ginny’s and said, “He is right, in a way. I thought you were in love with Harry for so many years, Ginny.” She whispered, “Why did you have to go to Zabini and pretend to love him? Were you actually trying to make Harry jealous?” She paused and peered at Ginny speculatively. “Well, it worked, because he was completely heartbroken.” She sighed, and shook her head. “I can’t believe you would do that to someone like Harry. You know, I never thought I’d say this,” she turned her sorrowful eyes back to Ginny’s, “but he deserves someone better than you.” With that quiet bomb, Hermione made her way to her own room.
Shocked and utterly confused, Ginny sank down on the sofa and buried her head in her hands. She didn’t cry, however, because she really wasn’t sorry to see Ron and Hermione leave her. But what in Merlin’s name had just happened? Why did everyone think that she was leading Harry on? She could have sworn that her refusal to his invitation to Hogsmeade was clear. She fumed silently, thinking about how she was more entitled to a pity party than Harry was. Her first year, she was possessed by Voldemort because of Lucius Malfoy. Until her third year, she had been in love with Harry Potter, but he had barely spared her a glance. This year, she had become friends with Blaise and Draco, but had been used by them and tossed away like rubbish. Then, Harry had tried to strangle her, and accused her of being a slut. Hell, even her own brother accused her of being one! Now, everyone in this bloody school considered her a slut. With a defeated sigh, Ginny trudged up the stairs to her dormitory room, and fell into an exhausted slumber.
She was running through the common room and out of the portrait hole so quickly that it seemed a Dementor was chasing her. She managed to slow down a bit when she almost collided into a person standing right in front of the portrait, obviously waiting for her. Before she could catch her breath, this unknown person grabbed her arm and ran towards the Astronomy Tower, forcing her to follow. As they raced up the winding stairs, Ginny’s head reeled with dizziness. But she was not allowed any respite from the maniacally frantic person in front of her.
They finally reached the top of the tower, and stopped. Ginny bent down and grabbed her knees as she stood, panting from the exertion. Once she had gained her bearings, she looked up and found herself gazing at Draco Malfoy. He was just as winded as she was, but he was staring up at the night sky.
They remained like that for a while, not speaking to each other. Ginny’s breaths finally slowed down, and she shivered involuntarily from the cold. Her movement caught Draco’s attention, and he turned to face her. His sharp gray eyes pierced hers for a moment. Then, with a sad smile, he climbed up onto the short stonewall that separated them from the night air. Before Ginny comprehended what was happening, she saw him disappear in a flurry of flapping black robes.
“No!” she cried out, rushing to the edge of the parapet, looking down into the inky blackness below. Although she searched for him, she could not find his telltale blonde hair and pale skin in the murkiness. Sobs racked her body as she finally realized that she had lost Draco.
After a minute, she heard loud footsteps behind her. She swiveled around, and found herself face-to-face with Blaise. Her wavering smile of greeting gradually turned into a frown of worry as she watched his furious expression. “You- you-” he spluttered, “you… just let him fall!”
Ginny began to protest, but she was stopped when he grasped her shoulders and squeezed them hard. “How could you, Ginevra?” he whispered furiously. She couldn’t think up an answer, for her mind was blank with shock. She didn’t know he was going to jump! She would have stopped him, if-
“How could you, Ginevra?” Blaise growled, angry that she didn’t answer him. But before she could begin to answer in her own defense, his hands moved up to encircle her neck. “How could you!” he screamed maniacally as his grip tightened. Ginny gasped in surprise, and she felt a familiar dizziness from lack of oxygen. She slowly lost sense of her surroundings, and could barely feel Blaise picking her up by her neck, and lifting her over the parapet. All of a sudden, she looked around her and found that she was dangling by her neck. Her hands reached up to claw at Blaise’s wrists, but his hold was firm. “How could you?” his voice echoed in the swirling darkness that surrounded her. Her vision grew blurry, and she knew that she was losing consciousness. The last thing that she saw before she went blind was his light blue eyes, blazing at her in fury.
But she didn’t lose consciousness. Her vision actually cleared slightly, as the blue eyes that bored into hers turned a darker shade. Blaise’s aristocratic nose slowly grew longer, and his hair began to redden. Before long, Ginny realized that she was staring at Ron. Ron was yelling at her, “… you slut! You’re a disgrace to the Weasley name! How could you do that to Harry?” His grip on her throat tightened as she tried to scream, struggling to break free from his grasp. “How could you?” echoed around her, as everything slowly faded away, except for his dark blue eyes.
Her vision cleared again, and those familiar blue eyes became a brilliant emerald. Ron’s gangly frame shortened and his bright hair darkened, until Harry stood before her. He was shouting at her, “I loved you, you spy! And you consider yourself a Gryffindor? How could you betray us like that? How could you betray me?” Ginny saw her world darken again, as she heard “How could you?” reverberating in her head.
Once again, her vision sharpened a bit. This time, Harry’s eyes turned a dark, chocolate brown, and his unruly hair became longer, frizzier, and... bushier. She let out a strangled gasp of surprise when she saw Hermione standing in front of her. Both of them stared at each other for a moment. Then, Hermione smirked, and released her hold on Ginny’s neck. Ginny screamed hoarsely as she hurtled down into the blackness beneath her…
Ginny sat up in bed, sweating and panting. As her rapidly beating heart slowed, she realized that she was just dreaming. But that dream had been so frighteningly real. She closed her eyes, causing her feet to remember the terrifying sensation of dangling in thin air. She opened her eyes again, and checked her clock. She had only been asleep for a mere two hours. With a defeated sigh, she lay down again, and attempted to fall asleep.
Three days passed with an agonizing slowness. Because the students were not allowed out of the castle, Hogwarts was essentially under siege. There had been no attack on the castle, but students caught glimpses of people in black cloaks in the shadows of the Forbidden Forest when they peered out of the windows. Parents worried about their children, owled constantly and berated Fudge for not protecting Hogwarts and Hogsmeade better. The telltale pops of apparating Aurors and ministry officials had become commonplace. Between the students, teachers, officials, Aurors, and fugitives from Hogsmeade, the castle was a hubbub of activity.
Ginny’s classes went by smoothly, or as smoothly as could be expected. The students’ class work suffered from their worries and frights. So many charms, transfigurations, and potions had gone haywire in those few days that the hospital wing was filled to maximum capacity, and classes had been cancelled yet again. At any given moment, Madame Pomfrey could be spotted bustling about like a chicken without its head. Snape was often with her, sneering at students as he ladled out potions and ridicule with equanimity.
Surprisingly, Harry called a secret meeting of the DA on Tuesday night. Ginny attended along with the other members that had been there during her fourth year. When Ginny had entered the room, she noticed that everyone was staring at her with hostile eyes. Conscious of the attention she was getting, Ginny demurely took a seat close to the wall. Once everyone had settled in, Harry looked over them with serious eyes and began, “I’m glad to see that you guys are still willing to continue the DA. I’ve called this meeting-“
“Why is she here?” Ernie Macmillan rudely interrupted, with a pointed stare at Ginny.
Ginny’s face blanched when she heard agreeing murmurs from the rest of the room. Hermione stood up and said, “Well, she’s still a member, even though she’s made some unfortunate choices…” she trailed off miserably.
Angrily, Ginny stood up and said, “I’m still loyal to Harry, you know. Just because I became friends with Slytherins doesn’t mean-“
“But Ginny,” a quiet voice interrupted. Ginny looked at Luna Lovegood with shock as the other girl gently continued, “there’s a reason why Slytherins aren’t allowed in the DA. They’re untrustworthy, and since you were associated with them, we’re not sure if we can trust you either.”
“That’s ridiculous!” Ginny retorted. She paused, trying to think of a way to prove her loyalty to the group. Then, she realized that the entire room was silently watching her with mistrustful eyes. Warily, she asked, “Does everyone feel this way?”
Everyone dropped their eyes shamefully. Ginny sighed dejectedly, for it was obvious that no one trusted her. She was about to drop back into her seat when Hermione piped up, “Why don’t we put it to a vote?” Everyone looked at her incredulously, so she hastily added, “We’ll use a silent vote.” With a flick of her wand, a piece of parchment and a quill sat in everyone’s lap. “Do you think Ginevra Weasley should remain in the DA? Write down ‘yes’ or ‘no’.”
For a moment, the only sound in the room was the scratching of quills against stiff parchment. “Time,” Hermione called after a minute. All of the parchments vanished from their laps and appeared on Hermione’s. The bushy-haired girl read them all quietly, and then turned pitying eyes to Ginny’s.
With a heavy heart, Ginny had watched Hermione get up and magically erase her name from their list. Ginny tried to keep her motions steady and calm as she got up and left the room. Once the door closed behind her, she ran back to her room. She dropped into bed, closed the drapes around her bed and cast a Silencing charm on them before the tears erupted; she sobbed so heart wrenchingly loud that she sounded like a mournful wolf. That night, Ginny knew that she had reached the lowest pit of despair. She could not help but wonder if things would ever look up again.
Ginny mused about these recent events as she lay in her bed, quite awake. It was Thursday night, and she had been unable to get a decent night’s sleep since that horrific dream on Sunday. She had wasted away the days alone, and utterly bored. She had glimpsed Draco and Blaise in the halls between classes, but they both ignored her and pretended as though she didn’t exist. Harry, Ron, and Hermione had decidedly given her the cold shoulder, and plotted in secrecy. Even the other Gryffindors did not bother to talk to her or acknowledge her presence.
Angrily, Ginny tossed back her covers and got out of bed. There was no point in staying in bed, for her attempts at sleep were futile. She quietly shut the door to her dorm room, silently making her way down the stairs to the common room. Ginny was at her wit’s end, but at least the common room would be a welcome relief from the monotony of her day. She snuggled into her favorite chair comfortably, and stared at the fire; her thoughts immediately turning to Blaise and Draco.
“Oh, drat it,” she huffed indignantly as she hoisted herself out of her chair and searched for something to read. At this point, even a Playwizard would be a welcome relief from her misery and loneliness. But all she found was a dog-eared copy of Witch Weekly that was five months out-of-date. She flipped through it with a bored expression. “How to Snag A Date” screamed an article title. Ginny groaned as she remembered the dance that would take place tomorrow evening. Not only was she dateless, but she also no longer had any friends to go with! Irritably, she tossed the magazine aside.
What she needed was a really good distraction, something that would keep her mind occupied. She snorted derisively to herself. Who was she kidding? There was nothing interesting going on in this school since the siege began. Hell, students couldn’t even roam around the halls after curfew, which had been bumped up to 8:00 pm, instead of the customary 10:00 pm. She stared about her with disgust, and could almost feel herself sneering at the situation.
Her eyes momentarily rested on the wide bay window in the common room. She had felt so cooped up in the castle the past three days. She missed watching the lake as the wind whipped her hair and robes around in great swirls that surrounded her. She wanted to see the water’s silvery ripples in the moonlight, and imagine that Draco was holding her… She shook her head sadly. Harry was right; she had to give up on Draco and Blaise at some point. She couldn’t keep mooning on about them, when they didn’t even acknowledge her presence.
She moved to the window seat and stared at the dark and mysterious world that was outside, just beyond her reach. Ginny rested her forehead against the cold glass and watched as her warm breath condensed on the window, fogging it. They weren’t even allowed to open the windows in the castle, for fear of unwelcome entrances by Death Eaters. As Ginny sat in thought, she felt her frustration and boredom build up inside her. In a split second, she decided that she had had quite enough with these new safety precautions. Without another thought, she reached over and released the window latch. As she slowly opened the window, she reveled at the touch of the cold, harsh wind as it coursed around her. For the first time that week, she felt happy and carefree. The only times she had ever really felt that way was when she was flying. Ginny started, and closed the window quickly. What would happen if she flew out of the window? She would be able to leave the castle and maybe make her way down to the lake.
Her fit of impulsiveness continued as she scampered up the stairs to her dormitory, and slowly crept to her bed. Once she had slipped on her cloak and a pair of shoes, she grabbed her broom and headed back down to the common room. She propped open the window with her elbow while she managed to mount her broom. With a quick movement, she jumped off the ledge and let the window shut behind her.
Ginny flew around for a bit, enjoying the cold bitter scent of the air as she moved. She did all of the daring moves that she had learned from watching her brothers and Harry playing Quidditch. After she had had her fill, she flew to the edge of the lake and landed. She walked around carefully, searching for the exact spot where she and Draco had stood that night. She sat down and drew her knees to her chin as she gazed out to the water.
It was a clear night, unlike that time that she had been there with Draco. The moon was full and outlined beautifully in the black sky. It seemed so close that Ginny could see the dark shadows that dotted it. The water was just as calm as it had been that evening, and the moon and the hills were reflected just as perfectly.
Ginny sighed with contentment; this sight was worth every risk that she had taken. She was surrounded by quiet, for even the trees didn’t rustle loudly in the slight breeze. When Ginny had seen her fill of the lake, she rested her forehead on her knees and closed her eyes. She didn’t know how to describe it, but she almost felt a sense of closure. Even though she had reached the bottom earlier that day, she finally felt confident enough to deal with everything that had happened. She could accept the fact that Gryffindor scorned her. She could deal with being talked about by nearly every wagging tongue in school. She could finally get over Blaise and Draco-
No. She stopped that thought from continuing. She could not let Blaise and Draco go just yet. She needed to ask them why. Why had they used her? She couldn’t believe that they became friends with her to spy on Harry. They knew that Harry had basically rejected her the moment she had become friends with Blaise and Draco. They also didn’t try to take advantage of her sexually. All she had with Blaise were some heated snogs. Draco barely even touched her, and when he did, he simply gave her one-armed hugs or tucked her arm under his. Suddenly, Ginny remembered standing in the shadows near the Great Hall as Draco touched his lips to her neck. She could feel the blood rushing to her face as she blushed hotly. The git hadn’t even kissed her neck; he had only breathed against her skin, but that simple gesture had filled her intensely with desire.
“Those bloody gits still have a hold on me,” Ginny murmured against her knees. Why had they even tried to influence her? Were they just wasting time, playing around with an innocent Gryffindor? Had she been a challenge because she used to be unattainable? Ginny tried to rationalize it all in her mind, but she kept getting more and more confused. The only way she could ever understand it would be if they explained it to her themselves.
Ginny resolutely pushed all of her thoughts aside and cleared her mind. She knew that it would be quite some time until she could sit by the lake again in the still of the night. So, she was determined to enjoy her time out as much as possible.
The hours flew by, for Ginny was not keeping track of time as she relaxed. She checked her watch and discovered that it was nearly three in the morning. She slowly got to her feet and began to mount her broom when she was stopped by a startled, “Ginevra?” Ginny looked around quickly, and saw Draco rushing up to her. As he neared her, she saw that his face was contorted in rage, but his eyes seemed very worried. When he finally caught up to her, he whispered fiercely, “What in bloody hell are you doing out here?”
“I couldn’t sleep,” Ginny shrugged nonchalantly as she resumed mounting her broom. Before she could kick off the ground, Draco reached out and grabbed her broom handle firmly.
“This place is crawling with Aurors!” he hissed at her. “If they see anyone riding around, they won’t hesitate to curse you first and ask questions later. Come on,” he urged, grabbing her arm, “let’s go back in.”
Ginny struggled against him for a minute. “Let go of me, you… you… Death Eater!” she screamed in a sudden rage. Draco gave her an evil glare, clapped his hand over her mouth, twisted her hands behind her back, and forced her to walk back to the castle with him. She was so stunned by his actions that she nearly dropped her broom, but he grabbed that as well and tucked it under his arm.
“Let’s go,” he hissed murderously. Ginny slumped her shoulders in defeat and allowed him to drag her back to the castle. When they were finally inside the castle, Draco checked to make sure that they hadn’t been detected, before leading her to an isolated alcove. Draco stared at her for a moment, his hand still covering her mouth, and whispered, “I just have one question for you, Ginevra. Why the hell did you run back to Potter?”
He released his hold on her, and Ginny took a deep breath, thankful that she was unharmed. Then, she turned her furious eyes to Draco’s and scornfully said, “You have a question for me? I’m the one who deserves the explanation, you git! Why in bloody hell didn’t you tell me about your rendezvous with Voldemort?”
Draco had the good sense to look a bit sheepish at her accusation. “Blaise didn’t want to scare you,” he mumbled.
“He didn’t want to scare me?” she asked with a sarcastic laugh. “Need I remind you two that I had to deal with Tom Riddle when I was a first-year? I think I’ve learned since then how to handle bad situations.”
Draco merely glared at her and said harshly, “I answered your question, Ginevra. Now it’s your turn to answer mine.”
Ginny lifted her chin haughtily, “What does it matter to you, Malfoy, if I’m friends with Harry? It’s not like you’ve ever cared about my feelings before.”
She immediately regretted saying those words. Draco’s face twisted momentarily into a grimace of pain, and then it was replaced with a sneer. “You’re right, Weasley,” he emphasized. “I never did anything to help you, did I? I was just the typical Slytherin git that I’ve always been. I never knew how to calm you down,” he began to count on his fingers. “I’ve never cared about your safety. I’ve never-”
Ginny interrupted him by lightly pressing her fingers to his mouth. “Enough,” she whispered and dropped her eyes shyly. “I’m sorry. I… I just overreacted by going to Harry.” She turned her eyes back to his, silently pleading for him to understand. But Draco didn’t seem to have heard her words, for his eyes were raking over her body hungrily. Ginny gasped in surprise and began to draw her hand away from his mouth, but Draco grasped her wrist in his hands and twined his fingers with hers.
“I still can’t believe you did it, Gin,” he whispered, his eyes showing betrayal.
She released his grasp and crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. “Then maybe you wouldn’t mind telling me exactly why you were meeting with Voldemort, Malfoy,” she asked imperiously.
Draco looked back at her resignedly and said, “I… I can’t, Ginevra.”
“Oh?” Ginny asked archly. Inside, her heart sank with dread. Was Draco really a Death Eater, or in line to become one? “And why can’t you tell me?”
As though he was reading her mind, Draco replied harshly, “How dare you-” He broke off with a gasp, as though someone was choking him. With a cough, he replied, “I can’t tell you why.”
Her eyes bugged out of her head. “What?” she cried incredulously. “You… you can’t be a Death Eater, Draco!”
He just looked back at her helplessly, remaining silent.
“I can’t bloody believe this,” Ginny mumbled to herself. She took a step back from him, still staring at him. With an accusing tone, she whispered, “So that’s why Blaise didn’t want to tell me that you two were going to Voldemort. And I’ll bet my bloody broom that he’s become one, too.” She looked at Draco questioningly; he just stared back stoically, not uttering a single sound. In fact, she couldn’t even read his real emotions in his gray, murky eyes.
Ginny sighed in defeat, turning to grab her broom and make her way back to the Gryffindor Tower. Before she moved two steps, a firm hand grasped her arm. “Don’t-” Draco began in a weak voice.
She turned back to face him, her eyes blazing in righteous anger. “Get your filthy hands off of me, you traitor!” she hissed as she yanked her arm away. Draco looked at her with sad eyes, but Ginny just huffed indignantly and left.
As Ginny moved through the halls silently, her mind was in a haze. Those bloody… wankers had lied to her. How could she have been so stupid to think that Slytherins could be good in any sense of the word? To top it off, she was in love with one of them, and had snogged the other one regularly! Why the hell did she always fall for the worst guys-
Ginny’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of voices. She looked around frantically, trying to find a safe place to hide. With a sigh of relief, she spotted a tapestry a meter away from her. She hurried towards it, and quickly hid behind the heavy hanging. As the voices drew nearer, Ginny propped her broom against the wall and stiffened, hoping that she would not make a visible movement. But curiosity got the best of her, so she peered around the side of the tapestry cautiously as the voices became clearer.
“-but is it really safe, Albus?” asked a female, who was unmistakably Professor McGonagall. As the teacher drew nearer, Ginny saw that Dumbledore and Snape had accompanied her. McGonagall’s back was to Ginny, while Dumbledore and Professor Snape stood closely to her left. Ginny almost gasped audibly when Dumbledore’s twinkling blue eyes rested on hers.
She quickly withdrew her head, but Dumbledore began, “Yes, but we must still be prepared, Minerva. He may try tomorrow; he may not. But, as an esteemed friend of ours always says, ‘constant vigilance is key.’” A light chuckle emanated from all three professors present. Ginny paled slightly when she heard the gruff sound of Professor Snape. Did the man actually know how to laugh?
The subject of Ginny’s thoughts interjected, “Come, let us continue setting up the wards.” She heard the three professors’ whispered banter trail off as they turned a corner and walked away from her hiding place. Ginny sighed with relief when she realized that she would not be punished, even though Dumbledore had seen her.
Ginny nearly flew through the halls in her haste to reach the Gryffindor Tower. She was not going to tempt fate by loitering when Filch and other Aurors were still about. As she hastily whispered the password and climbed through the portrait hole, she suddenly recalled the professors’ conversation. As she climbed into bed, her last conscious thought was, whom had they been talking about?
Note: Major thanks to my beta dracosslytheringal. I know, I know, I keep forgetting that extra "s."
So, what did you guys think? Like the little cliffie?
All right, I have two things to say:
1) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! I really want to hear what you guys think about the story, even if you're ambivalent about it. I do listen to my reviewers, you know. In the last chapter, one of my reviewers at ff.net asked me to cut down on the cursing, so I tried to do that in this chapter. You guys asked for D/G, and I tried to deliver. So PLEASE tell me what you think!
2) I LOVE FANART (and so do my readers, I'm sure) If you guys are artistic in any way and want to share some of your fanart with me, please do so! I don't even care if it's for other stories - I'd still love to check it out.
3) For responses to reviews/hints about what's coming up, check out my livejournal
Till next time (it might be awhile - I feel a bit drained),
Jawy
09.25.04
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