have they ever seen your heart?
have they ever seen your pain?
life is waiting for you
it’s all messed up, but we're alive
- Our Lady Peace
Warnings
Madame Pomfrey awoke with a start when she heard a loud pounding on the infirmary door. She leapt from her bed, grabbed her dressing robe and rushed to answer the insistent knocking while fastening the robe around her. When she finally opened the door, she almost lost her balance in shock. Three pale teenagers were grouped around a fourth one who was moaning brokenly. Two had the traditional red hair labeling them as Weasleys. The other girl had dark brown hair that was bushier than ever, while the fourth was levitated horizontally. Her brain registered his familiar, unkempt black hair automatically, but she gasped in shock when she saw the blood that dripped from his face and fell to the floor with a periodic splat.
She was startled from her reverie when Professor McGonagall gripped her shoulders and whispered urgently, “Poppy!” Madame Pomfrey finally moved away from the doorway and beckoned McGonagall to enter. She levitated Harry to a nearby bed, as Pomfrey began her inspection of him immediately.
The shock and worry drained the blood from Ginny’s face, making her look paler than ever. She stood closely to Harry as she watched him, gripping the steel beam at the end of his bed so tightly that her knuckles were white. Ron stood next to her, his comforting arm around Hermione. Hermione, on the other hand, sniffled as she began crying again. Ginny understood Hermione’s tears; there was just so much blood on Harry. It was hard to believe that that much blood could ooze from such a minuscule scar. Ginny wondered if he would suffer from severe blood loss when, and if, he recovered.
At this point, Pomfrey and McGonagall had managed to clear the blood from Harry’s face and momentarily staunch the flow from his scar. Without that angry red masking his features, Harry’s face looked drawn and upset. Although he was unconscious, his deathly pale forehead was creased and he was frowning as though he was intensely worried.
Pomfrey chose this moment to shoo the Weasleys and Hermione from the room. “We will alert you when he wakes up. Until then, you three should get some rest.” Ron began to protest, but Pomfrey physically turned him around and pushed him towards the door. Hermione and Ginny followed him silently, both lost in their own thoughts. When the three of them stepped out into the hallway, Pomfrey shut the door firmly in their faces.
Ron sighed exasperatedly while Hermione burst into fresh tears and Ginny stood by numbly. Ron wrapped his arms around Hermione and wiped her tears away gently while murmuring softly. When Hermione finally stopped crying, Ginny turned her attention to Ron and said, “Ron” to call his attention. When he turned his head to face her, Ginny whispered, “What the bloody hell happened?”
Ron sighed dejectedly and turned back to Hermione to check that she was all right. When he was satisfied that she was, he turned back to Ginny and croaked, “We had been sleeping for about an hour. I- I heard muttering from Harry’s bed, so I went over to see if he was all right. He was mumbling in his sleep about something. It was a dream of some sort and he seemed fine, so I w-went back to bed.” Ron paused, taking a shaky breath as he wrapped an arm around Hermione’s shoulders and continued, “He… he started screaming. I’ve never heard anyone scream like that. It was… awful.” The horror in his face was apparent, and he tightened his hold on Hermione. “When you went off for McGonagall…” He stopped, too lost in the memory to continue.
“What happened then, Ron?” Ginny pleaded.
He looked at her absentmindedly and whispered, “Harry started laughing.” Ron’s eyes glazed over as she continued, “It wasn’t a laugh – it was more of a…” he paused, at a loss for words.
Hermione finally piped up with a teary voice, “It was like an evil hag had eaten her fill. It was a…cackle.”
“Yes,” Ron murmured absentmindedly, still lost in thought. “A cackle. He was so loud that he woke up the entire house. He- he pushed past me, like he didn’t care about me. I was so worried; I was asking him over and over again if he was all right. But he just didn’t seem to care.”
Hermione wrapped an arm around Ron’s waist and squeezed him tightly. Ginny was rooted in place, amazed and confused by what she had heard. Harry not caring about Ron? The chance of that happening was just as strong as… well, as Draco Malfoy falling in love with her. It was just impossible to imagine. Ginny shook her head to clear it and asked, “What happened then?” Ron just stood there silently, gazing absentmindedly into space. Ginny sighed impatiently and prompted, “Well, how did you bring him downstairs?”
Hermione swiftly turned her gaze from Ron to Ginny. “We didn’t carry him down. He walked down himself.” Ginny’s mouth hung open; she was too surprised for words. Hermione whispered, “I mean it. He really walked down himself. And the whole time, he kept…cackling. He was acting like he owned the place or something. We followed him down. We were so surprised…we just didn’t know what to do with him.”
“When he got down the stairs, he started walking to that chair you were sitting in before,” Ron interrupted, still gazing off into nothingness. “We thought he was going to sit down, but he walked straight to…” Ron gulped audibly, his face taking on a look of absolute terror. Hermione’s face mirrored his emotion. “He was going to throw himself in the fire.”
Ginny squeaked in a completely undignified manner. Neither Hermione nor Ron seemed to notice this, as they were still lost in their thoughts.
“We pulled him back,” Hermione continued, “and he started…howling again. That’s when the bleeding started. It just kept pouring out, and-“
“We had no fucking clue what to do,” Ron concluded, finally focusing on Ginny again. “That’s when you and McGonagall showed up.”
Ginny had never felt this speechless in her entire life. Her mind was such a void that she had to force herself to breathe regularly. Before she could even begin to formulate thoughts, Professor McGonagall opened the door of the infirmary. The teacher looked at the three of them sternly and said, “You were dismissed. I demand that you return to your dormitories at once.”
Ron and Hermione looked at her sheepishly and began walking towards the Gryffindor Tower. Ginny numbly followed, completely unaware of what she was doing. She blindly walked up the dormitory steps and dropped into bed. Without bothering to change her clothes, she quickly fell into an exhausted sleep.
Ginny had slept for barely three hours when she was gently shaken awake. Ginny blinked owlishly around her and sat up with a yawn. She came face-to-face with Hermione, who whispered, “He’s awake.”
With a flash, Ginny jumped out of bed and hurried down the stairs behind Hermione. They met Ron at the portrait hole, his foot tapping impatiently. When he saw the two girls, he whipped out Harry’s invisibility cloak and covered all three of them before they left. They tried their best to hurry through the halls in a coordinated fashion. On the whole, they succeeded; however, there were a few accidental trippings and spectacular stumbles.
When they finally reached the infirmary door, Hermione reached outside the folds of the cloak and slowly turned the knob. The door swung open quietly, and the three of them quickly tiptoed inside before shutting the door silently. Ron removed the cloak from the girls and wrapped it around himself. His floating head whispered, “I’m going to check on Pomfrey;” with that, he disappeared from view. Hermione and Ginny quickly hurried over to Harry’s bed.
Harry was lying still, but his green eyes were opened and staring at the ceiling. He was so silent that Ginny almost thought he was dead; then, he blinked.
“Harry!” Hermione whispered joyfully as she reached his side. Harry sat up slowly and hugged her.
“Hey, Hermione,” he began sheepishly, before stopping. Ginny noticed his eyes on her. He whispered, “Ginny? Wha- What are you doing here?”
Ginny smiled sweetly and whispered, “I’ve come to see how you’re doing, Harry.”
His eyes turned hard, “Well, I’m fine. Thank you for your concern.” He hissed in reply.
It was Ginny’s turn to be surprised. She opened her mouth to speak, but Hermione beat her to it. “Harry,” she whispered gently, “Ginny helped us get you here.”
He shifted his gaze to Hermione in disbelief. When he saw that she wasn’t lying, he turned to Ginny and sneered, “Well, I don’t see why. After all, her friends would just love to see me suffer.”
Ginny couldn’t take it anymore. She stepped forward to stand beside Hermione, and slapped Harry. Before the welt on Harry’s face reddened, Ginny whispered furiously, “Harry James Potter. My bloody friends want nothing to do with you. Hell, I barely want anything to do with you either.” His anger turned to astonishment, but she continued, “I just want to know what in bloody HELL made you want to kill yourself!”
Harry was flabbergasted, as was indicated by his face. He looked at Hermione speechlessly, but she just stared back at him. At that point, Ron appeared beside Harry’s bed, swinging the Invisibility Cloak off of his shoulders. “Harry!” he cried out in relief, rushing to Harry’s other side. Ron plopped down on the bed unceremoniously, focusing his attention on Harry. “How are you, mate?” he whispered.
Harry just looked at Ron and asked quietly, “Did I almost…kill myself?”
Ron’s cheerful demeanor immediately evaporated. With a frown, he simply replied, “Yeah.”
Harry looked off into space for a moment. Absentmindedly, he murmured, “I… remember dreaming. Voldemort had gotten into Hogwarts somehow. He and a big group of Death Eaters; they were walking down the changing staircase, and he was laughing the entire time. I don’t know why,” Harry mused, “but he seemed to be coming from the fifth floor. Anyway, he followed the hallways like he knew them, even though he hasn’t been here in ages.” Harry paused to shudder, and continued, “I saw him coming to the Fat Lady’s portrait. He was just about to enter…when I got this awful headache.” Harry turned his gaze to Hermione’s, which was speculative as she listened to his narrative. “That’s when I woke up, and found myself in the common room.”
Ron, Hermione, and Ginny shared a meaningful look. Harry watched them in silence; when it continued for a moment, he asked uncomfortably, “What is it?”
Hermione broke the silence. “Harry, while you were dreaming…” she broke off, and grew silent.
“Yes?” Harry asked impatiently.
With a deep breath, Ginny plunged in. “Harry,” she whispered with an uncharacteristic gentleness, “You were imitating…You-Know-Who…while you dreamed.”
Harry gaped at her while the three of them stared back at him seriously. Turning to Ron, Harry asked, “Is this…true?”
“Yes,” Ron answered stonily. “You walked right past me, down the staircase, and to the fire.”
Harry looked confused at this, so Hermione interjected, “I think that was when you saw him reaching the portrait of the Fat Lady.” She paused, allowing this information to sink in, and continued, “You were just about to throw yourself into the fire, when Ron and I pulled you back.”
Silence permeated the room; even the crickets outside seemed to cease their sounds. With a croaky whisper, Ron said, “That’s when you woke up.”
“Bloody hell,” Harry whispered.
They stayed in that grim tableau for nearly twenty minutes. Finally, their thoughts were interrupted when Professor Dumbledore cleared his throat. He was standing in front of Harry’s bed, for he had sneaked* up unnoticed. “Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger, and Miss Weasley,” he nodded in greeting, “thank you for acting quickly and bringing Mr. Potter. However,” he continued gently, “I must ask you to return to your dormitories. I would like to speak with Mr. Potter privately.” Although his eyes held their familiar blue twinkle, his voice was serious with intent.
Ginny, Ron, and Hermione chorused a glum “Good night” to Harry before they shuffled out of the infirmary door. Ron and Hermione walked together to the Gryffindor towers, his arm securely wrapped around her shoulders. Ginny followed some ways behind, but she was too busy thinking to notice this.
Something about Harry’s dream had struck a chord within her. The way that Voldemort had entered seemed…unusual, to say the least. Why was he coming down the changing staircases? The front entrance of the castle was on the first floor, near the Great Hall. How could he have come from one of the other floors? The fifth floor…maybe it was the seventh. The room of requirement…maybe someone could require Voldemort?
Ginny snorted in derision; who in their right mind would actually require Voldemort? Then again, there was the “lovely” Bellatrix Black… Ginny stormed through the Gryffindor common room, her thoughts raging about Bellatrix and the death of Sirius Black. That awful woman was the cause of so much misery in Harry’s life. Even though Harry wasn’t exactly a good friend anymore, Ginny was still outraged on his behalf.
Ginny’s anger abated when she reached her room, and saw her rumpled bed. Ah, to feel those sheets and that warm comfort again… Before she knew it, Ginny was curled up under her sheets, fast asleep.
*Quoted from Dictionary.com: “snuck is an Americanism first introduced in the 19th century as a nonstandard regional variant of sneaked. Widespread use of snuck has become more common with every generation. It is now used by educated speakers in all regions. Formal written English is more conservative than other varieties, of course, and here snuck still meets with much resistance.” I’ve always learned that “sneaked” was the correct form of the word, so that’s why I’ve used it here.
Note:, Huge thanks to dracoslytheringal, my lovely beta. I’ve been flattered by all of you readers of mine. YAY, I’m so glad that you’re enjoying my overactive imagination! I only hope the story lives up to your expectations…
I know that I’ve left quite a few loose threads, but I haven’t forgotten them. So, I’m going to answer some questions that my ff.net readers asked. I think you guys might like to know this information too.
LadyOfSlytherin asked some GREAT questions:
Blaise is diving head first into a whole world of pain but why hasn't he noticed that Ginny is always faraway? Or how Draco is acting as a sign? Blaise is in love with Ginny, and they say that love is blind. Also, Blaise knows why Draco is acting the way he is, but he won’t tell Ginny; after all, it’s Draco’s story to tell.
Is Ginny ever going to take revenge out on Pansy? Or will it be when she gets with Draco? Pansy will be dealt with later on in the story, but it will happen before they get together.
Many of you have asked When will we get to see some D/G action? An angsty D/G-ish thing will be coming in a chapter or two. The real romantic stuff will come much later, but the D/G is a recurring theme throughout the story.
DiaTheRyter pleaded: Please! PLEASE! Put Blaise with someone! Blaise will end up with someone, but it’s not who or how you expect. That’s all I can say on the topic.
And finally, LadyOfSlytherin wrote: Hmm my mind is full of so many questions but I will just wait for the next chapter before I ask anymore. It’s ok to wait, but if you have a burning question, ask me! I’m more than happy to answer it. But I should warn you that my intention with this fic was to avoid extreme fluffiness. So, expect an actual plot and story that won’t ignore Harry and Voldemort.
So, until five days or less from now: Enjoy!
-Jawy, 08.23.04
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